Bitter Lemon

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

As there's no Pulitzer Prize offered for "Subtlety in Editorial Cartooning," we see no particular downside to taking a direct approach in our criticism of CNN's Don Lemon and his wildly biased questions while moderating the most recent Democrat debate.

Lemon's declaration of Trump's bigotry as a "fact" is the sort of drip-drip-drip Chinese water torture of constant misinformation that has convinced half the country that Trump and his supporters (even his reluctant supporters) are racist bastards who always keep a noose in the glove compartment "just in case."

As journalistic standards don't really mean anything anymore, there's no point in our suggesting that Lemon and his ilk "live up" to rules which no longer apply. But entirely apart from that, there should be repercussions for those in public positions who deliberately use untruthful hate speech to divide and incite the American public.

And when we say "repercussions," we're not talking about the restriction of free speech. We're talking repercussions in the sense of marketplace pressures, or even condemnation of this kind of nonsense from any remaining journalists who aren't complete whores.

And it's a pity that Lemon's sleazy lack of professionalism is a distraction from the many interesting, accurate, and logical statements made by the Democrat candidates on Wednesday night. Oh, not regarding policies - but rather in their attacks on each other. Blood was drawn, and we enjoyed every drop of it!

Happily, we'll be spared any new debates for at least a few weeks. Perhaps during that time, Don Lemon can learn to prioritize journalistic integrity over his hate-filled ignorance.

BONUS: WEIGHTY DECISION

Michael "Wearing a Black Hole Would Make Me Look Slimmer" Moore is trying to promote the idea of Michelle Obama running for President, saying that while there are a number of Democrats who could beat Trump, only Michelle could crush him.

As genuinely nightmarish as the idea is, Moore might not be wrong. It certainly wouldn't be the first time that a completely unqualified, politically radical, self-invented facade of a person named "Obama" was put in the Oval Office.

Not So Silent But Deadly

To be completely honest, we're writing this before Tuesday night's Democrat debate (the first of a two night series) so we have no way of knowing the specifics of what the candidates will say. But we still feel fairly safe in our assumption that the cartoon above has captured the essence of the event.

Still, even from our viewpoint here in the past, we think there are a number of things we can predict about Tuesday's debate. Let's see how many of these we get right...

• Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, finally on the same stage, will shout themselves hoarse while trying to offer more free stuff than the other candidate is offering. Their combined offerings will total more money than there's ever been, or will ever be, but both will claim that the cash will magically materialize if a massive tax is levied on the evil rich.

• Beto O'Rourke and Pete Buttigieg will each try to eliminate the other, so as to be the surviving "young, alternative" candidate. O'Rourke hopes to accomplish this by inviting as guests several black high school football players who kneel during the playing of the national anthem. In this way, O'Rourke can make the important political point that it isn't only women soccer players who are assholes. Buttigieg, on the other hand, may respond that he is far, far more experienced in matters related to kneeling.

And our predictions for tonight's debate...

• Joe Biden, after promising to be "not so nice" to his political attackers, will challenge Kamala "Biden and his Klan buddies threw garbage while Norman Rockwell painted me walking into elementary school" Harris to meet him behind the gym to duke it out.

• Cory Booker, after gaining no ground by claiming that his testosterone levels make him want to punch Trump in the face, will walk back his statement by claiming that he actually has so much estrogen that he only threatened to attack the President because he was feeling cranky during his period.

The big topics of both nights will be racism and healthcare, followed closely by student debt forgiveness and the absolutely critical need to impeach Donald Trump for being Donald Trump. Little will be said about Russia or Mueller, (except, perhaps, in the context of discussing long term healthcare for the senile) and even less will be mentioned about the way Democrats routinely turn cities into soul-destroying slums.

There is, however, one bright spot in all of this. Which is that, after being on meds for diverticulitis for a month, we have now been cleared to start drinking liquor again. Whew - that was a close one!

Tweet Screams Are Made of These

There's Noh business like show business.

As surely and inflexibly ritualistic as its Japanese antecedent, yet another Kabuki performance is on display in our media. As koto music is plucked in the background, we see Donald Trump astride the stage, boldly making an "insensitive" tweet. His antagonist, in this case Elijah "Bowling Ball Head" Cummings, then dramatically declares that Trump is a racist for calling his largely black congressional district a "disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess" and a "very dangerous & filthy place." Offstage, kodo drums beat loudly to indicate that a storm is gathering or, perhaps, just to wake up an audience that has seen this drama way too often.

Unavoidably, anything we could say about this idiocy would pretty much be Kabuki commentary at this point, so we'll just say that it's pretty odd for a President of the United States to be called a white racist because he says that poor black Americans should be able to live in communities which aren't filled with rats, poverty, and crime.

Elijah Cummings is, of course, against that notion...

"No justice, no cheese!"