Call Waiting

With all of the hot air currently circulating in Washington, it's a wonder that little Greta "How Dare You!" Thunberg isn't calling for a mass extinction of politicians before the icecaps melt.

There is feverish talk among Democrats of impeaching the President for the heinous and totally unacceptable sin of making a phone call to Ukraine's leader which they don't really know the contents of, but they're pretty sure must be treasonous because an anonymous whistleblower who hasn't heard the actual call says so. Plus, and this can't be overstated, Orange Man bad.

It is believed that during the phone call, Donald Trump asked the Ukrainians to look into allegations that Vice President Biden, while in office, improperly used governmental power and funds to force Ukraine to end a corruption investigation of the company that employed (by which we mean "stuffed his well-connected pockets with money") Biden's drug-using, widowed sister-in-law-banging son, Hunter.

By the way, these "allegations" were raised by Joe Biden himself, who actually bragged about his wrongdoing on camera. Because he is an idiot.

In any event, the Democrats want to impeach Trump for investigating Biden's self-admitted corruption, and they're hanging their hopes on the mysterious phone call reported by a "whistleblower." And they've been making a lot of theater out of the fact that the call's contents were "secret."

However Trump, being Trump, is releasing an unredacted transcript of the call in question today just to clear the air and, more importantly, screw with everyone's minds.

Where all of this will end up, we have no idea - but it's not unlikely that when the smoke clears, Trump will still be standing, Joe Biden will be forced out of the Presidential race, and Greta Thunberg will be blissfully forgotten.

LEFTOVERS...

Sometimes we have more than one possible way to go with a picture. Here's the one that came in second today...

"Wasn't he the boss on the Mary Tyler Moore Show?"

Climate Changelings

Last week, millions of teens took to the streets to protest climate change and demand, demand!, that God turn down the thermostat on the sun by a couple of degrees.

Just kidding! They actually want to ban plastic straws, hamburgers, fossil fuels, internal combustion engines, capitalism, and personal freedoms. This is because, according to 100% of scientists (Snopes verified it), man-caused global warming is causing rainforests and aboriginal people to burst into spontaneous flames, Miami to be submerged faster than Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure," and all life on Earth to be stone dead within 10 years. Well, except for cockroaches and Keith Richards.

The kids believe this because it's what they've been taught - in schools, on television, and on social media. And when we say "taught," we mean force fed like brainless captive geese who'll soon be donating their livers to paté.

With eons of climate cycles in the world's past, we're more than a little skeptical of the whole "man-caused climate change" narrative. But just to be on the safe side, we're addressing the issue with some 100% Earth-friendly recycled cartoons today.

Also, we're going to wrap our feet in plastic bags from the grocery store so that we won't leave carbon footprints.

Kids, by all means try this at home!

True D'OH!!!

He's also rumored to have bragged about grabbing beavers.

We actually couldn't give a flying fart in a cyclone about Canadian Prime Minister (and ultra-liberal) Justin Trudeau having worn "brown face" at an "Arabian Nights" costume party 18 years ago.

What's more interesting to consider is the way today's "woke" media is handling this non-event. CNN and CNBC flat out declare a snapshot of Trudeau in costume to be a "racist photo." The Washington Post and others are saying that Trudeau "must be dumped" from high office. And even Elizabeth Warren isn't buying Trudeau's claim to be 1/1024th Arabic.

But does an old photo in and of itself really make someone a full-blown and unforgivable "racist?" And is there really no gradation between being accidentally offensive once upon a time, and being an actual cross-burning, lynching, active bigot?

When even minor infractions are deemed to be ultimate and unforgivable, the Left de-incentivizes people to change their attitudes about racial issues or "evolve." But then, that's not really even what the Left wants. Rather, they want to use their indignation as a cudgel to bring down anyone whose ideology doesn't pass their new "racial purity" test.

BONUS: YOU'LL ROO THE DAY

Just for fun, and in the interest of filling additional space, let's enjoy a Friday edition of...