Hi Way to Hell

He's also alleged to have dated a porn star named Misty Meener.

Remember Monday, when we said we don't really want to spend a lot of time hashing over the ongoing minutiae of the "impeachment" crap? Well, we weren't kidding. So here's a cartoon, and the Democrats and the media can go screw themselves. What we lack in subtlety, we make up for in brevity!

Meanwhile, with a sudden uptick in public appearances by Hillary Clinton, we're getting an uncomfortable feeling that - as we've predicted all along - the old biddy really might be preparing for a deus ex machina entrance into the 2020 Presidential race. She will claim that she's the only one who can beat Trump because "I did it once before!" (Note: we made that quote up, but we'd bet good money that you'll be hearing it from her withered lips before long).

With these thoughts in mind, and because Halloween decorating has entered our thoughts (hey, it's October!), we've created a singularly creepy piece of art that we call "waiting in the shadows"...

Download a high-rez, printable version of this picture for Halloween by clicking this link!

As Count Floyd would say, "That's real scary, boys and girls! Ah-wooooo!"

Of course, the person who should be most scared of Hillary right now is the alleged "whistleblower" at the heart of the latest Trump coup attempt. Why? Because the actual accusations against the President won't hold water, but it would look pretty bad for Trump if the whistleblower suddenly had an "accident" of the kind that Hillary can probably arrange in her sleep by now.

Think about it: the whistleblower's statement is already on record, but a dead whistleblower can't be called before investigating committees or be forced to reveal the names of leakers and conspirators. It's a Democrat dream come true!

Such an event would cast just enough suspicion on Trump (with a big push from the media) that he would likely be unelectable. But could such a thing really happen? Well, it's already being reported that the whistleblower is under "federal protection" out of assassination fears...which sounds like journalistic "priming the pump" for a murder scenario which may have already been scripted.

Mind you, this is all wild ass speculation on our part...but anyone who isn't experiencing a bit of paranoia at this point just isn't paying attention.

Slay Your Prayers

Nancy Pelosi has announced that she is both heartbroken and prayerful about her decision to aggressively move forward with impeachment, a serious process which, we're fairly certain, requires the House Speaker to fellate Satan. Which probably won't be a party for either of them.

If you think that analysis lacks subtlety, all we can say is: "get used to it." This is going to be, by design, a long and stultifying nightmare in which the Deep State uses every dirty trick imaginable to get rid of Donald Trump. And frankly, Stilton's Place is not anxious to spend the coming weeks and months wading through this fetid quagmire and calling out all the lies (and trust us, their name will be Legion).

All we can say for now is that we hope the Trump administration will fight back, and fight back hard. Like, Armageddon hard. Because this is now as pure a clash between good and evil as we're likely to see in our lifetimes. And, if we lose, the last such clash to ever be seen in this nation.

FROM THE VAULT: EASTERN DOUBLE STANDARD TIME

(Originally published June 14, 2019)

Schiff Faced

There's a lot more truth in the attached cartoon than there was in the entirety of Democrat Adam Schiff's televised inquisition yesterday of Acting Director of National Intelligence, Joseph Maguire.

So eager was Schiff to give some momentum to the "impeach Trump" movement, he made an opening statement which was wall to wall lies of the most extreme type. And this while knowing full well the actual contents of President Trump's phone call to Ukraine's President (after Trump released an unredacted transcript) and the less-than-impressive "whistleblower's" complaint.

Here is the relevant portion of Schiff's opening statement. We will mark the utter, outright, and unforgivable lies - soon to be re-broadcast over and over on every mainstream news outlet - in red:

"The President’s response — well, it reads like a classic organized crime shake down. In essence, what the President Trump communicates is this: We’ve been very good to your country. Very good. No other country has done as much as we have. But you know what, I don’t see much reciprocity here. You know what I mean? I hear what you want. I have a favor I want from you though. And I’m going to say this only seven times, so you better listen good. I want you to make up dirt on my political opponent, understand? Lots of dirt, on this and on that. I’m going to put you in touch with people, and not just any people. I’m going to put you in touch with the Attorney General of the United States — my Attorney General, Bill Barr — he’s got the whole weight of American law enforcement behind him. And I’m going to put you in touch with Rudy, you’re going to love him. Trust me. You know what I’m asking, so I’m only going to say this a few more times, in a few more ways. And don’t call me again. I’ll call you when you’ve done what I asked."

Schiff had to make this garbage up and lie about it because the actual transcript contained nothing like this and suggested no wrongdoing whatsoever.

So outrageous were Schiff's lies that when others called him out on it, he reluctantly conceded that his paraphrasing of Trump's phone call might be considered "something of a parody." A PARODY?! In the prosecution's opening statement looking into only the fourth impeachment in our nation's history?! No, Adam, you weren't trying to make a joke...you were trying to get away with murder, albeit of the political kind.

In complete honesty, the recent impeachment-crazy news cycle has hit the Jarlsberg household hard and is causing us to do some serious thinking about our self-defense rights under the 2nd Amendment. That's not a road we enjoy going down.

The Left is throwing out any semblance of honesty or Constitutional process and has essentially declared war on Trump, his supporters, our economy, and our system of elections. We believe that the Trump administration needs to respond in kind- albeit legally, responsibly, quickly, and with unrelenting strength.

We have already seen one high-level coup attempt on this Presidency go unpunished. It must not happen a second time.