Having Scum Fun Now

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, that brevity is the soul of wit, and that less is more. To test this triple-dip of wisdom (and in celebration of personal laziness), we're presenting three cartoons today which pretty much speak for themselves...

It was the right thing to do, Mr. President

BREAK IN NEWS:

Both will be watched to see if they suddenly start flashing large amounts of wampum around.

Here's the boring story of the headquarters break-in.

CLOSED DORK SESSION:

Well, it's not like there isn't precedent...

And there's the Friday wrap-up, miraculously finished just in time for us to declare Happy Hour! Have a great weekend everyone - and see you in the comments section!

ADDENDUM: BRUSH FIRE

For anyone who didn't understand the cartoon above, it was a reference to Democrat Congresswoman Katie Hill, who was photographed in the buff brushing the hair of the young congressional aide she'd been shtupping in a three-way relationship. Stay classy, Democrats!

Great White Way

Right up front, we want to go on record as being very sincerely supportive of gay folks and gay marriage. But we can't help commenting on the fact that Pete Buttigieg might benefit from a little more tailoring of the image he's presenting on the campaign trail.

Although "Mayor Pete" is enjoying a nice rise in recent polls, an in-depth study of black voters in South Carolina showed that many of them found his sexual orientation to be problematic - enough so that most weren't even considering voting for him.

Part of the problem, as expressed by those polled, is that they don't mind Buttigieg being gay, but do have a problem with how vocal he is about it. So surely it isn't helping matters when Buttigieg announces a contest in which the grand prize is a trip to San Francisco (more or less the gay mecca) to enjoy an evening of musical theater with his husband, Chasten.

We're sure it will be an absolutely lovely evening, but still - isn't the whole event just a little too "on the nose" for those voters who were already feeling uncomfortable? Why not make the grand prize a visit to Buttigieg's actual home, South Bend, Indiana, where Chasten can take the lucky winners on a tour of all the positive things Mayor Pete has accomplished?

Oh, that's right - he hasn't actually done such a great job of being a small town Mayor. So maybe the fabulous distractions aren't such a bad idea after all.

Period Piece

In case you weren't paying attention, Saturday was National Period Day, with crowds of woke men and women flooding into the streets (so to speak) to declare themselves "period proud," demand that we "end period poverty," and wave signs saying "tampons, not guns," which makes us wonder who the hell had been making that mistake?

And although it's easy for insensitive cretins to make sophomoric jokes about all of this, we are fortunate to live in a society where serious issues are taken seriously by serious people. Like Beto O'Rourke, for instance...

Okay, we've slightly exaggerated what he had to say, but we're not kidding about Beto's hot-blooded dedication to this issue. Just consider this actual tweet...

That's right, the Irishman who pretends to be Hispanic, who wants to confiscate guns, and who promises to take away the tax exempt status of churches has thrown his support behind the Menstrual Equity Act, which is surprisingly a real thing. We're not 100% sure what the goal of the Menstrual Equity Act is, but suspect it's intended to close the menstrual inequality gap between the poor and the rich. Or, in tampon terms, the "light day" versus the "supermax" crowd.

But enough foolishness. We certainly and sincerely support women's health and hygiene, and in good conscience can not mock National Period Day since we didn't mock men when they held National Skidmark Day.

Sorry! Sorry! That was another joke! But we're going to take a deep breath, square our shoulders, and make one more attempt to present this subject in a serious, adult manner...

Hey, we tried.