Pieces in Our Time

And if there are enough vests for everyone.

Saturday night "live" is what ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi wasn't following a daring special forces operation last Saturday night. Troops went in, cleared the compound - killing those who resisted - then closed in on al-Baghdadi himself.

The ISIS leader scurried down a dead-end (literally) tunnel with three of his children, then blew all of them to bits with a suicide vest.

President Trump, in a statement Sunday morning, made it clear that al-Baghdadi "died like a dog. He died like a coward. Whimpering, screaming, and crying. The thug who tried so hard to intimidate others spent his last moments in utter fear, in total panic and dread, terrified of the American forces bearing down on him."

Trump's willingness to take a metaphorical leak on al-Baghdadi's grave stands in stark contrast to Barack Obama's more measured (to put it mildly) statement upon the killing of Osama bin Laden. Obama described Osama as a terrorist and killer, but did not further personalize attacks on bin Laden's character nor the manner of his death. And we should note that as an additional show of respect for bin Laden (and not Islam, because Obama specifically stated that "Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader"),  Obama ordered the terror mastermind's body to be washed and wrapped per Muslim tradition, then immediately buried at sea without further forensics.

We'll also note that Trump gave full credit and praise to everyone involved with locating and exterminating al-Baghdadi, while Obama's statement made it sound like he'd personally grabbed a headband and hunting knife and gone Rambo on bin Laden. Which hardly squares with reports that Obama had to have his happy ass dragged off a golf course to watch the bin Laden raid, and the raid might actually have taken place over Obama's objection. (It's worth noting that the White House later confirmed Obama's golf outing, but characterized it as a brilliant ruse to keep the press from knowing that something important was happening. Which, in all candor, strikes us as breathtaking bullshit.)

Be that as it may, we're pleased to see that American justice is being meted out with a firm hand, and that Mr. Trump is not allowing partisan (and likely criminal) domestic resistance to interfere with the performance of his Presidential duties.

BONUS: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F**K?!

We thought we'd said all we needed to say above. Then we saw this actual headline from the Washington Post...

We couldn't believe that ANY newspaper would really send this out, but we checked and double-checked and it's true. According to the WaPo, Trump is just knocking off "austere religious scholars" rather than ridding the world of murderous terrorists.

Which is why, if the Washington Post is ever burned to the ground by an angry torch-bearing mob (God forbid), our headline will be "Newspaper Writers Attend Barbecue."

Having Scum Fun Now

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, that brevity is the soul of wit, and that less is more. To test this triple-dip of wisdom (and in celebration of personal laziness), we're presenting three cartoons today which pretty much speak for themselves...

It was the right thing to do, Mr. President

BREAK IN NEWS:

Both will be watched to see if they suddenly start flashing large amounts of wampum around.

Here's the boring story of the headquarters break-in.

CLOSED DORK SESSION:

Well, it's not like there isn't precedent...

And there's the Friday wrap-up, miraculously finished just in time for us to declare Happy Hour! Have a great weekend everyone - and see you in the comments section!

ADDENDUM: BRUSH FIRE

For anyone who didn't understand the cartoon above, it was a reference to Democrat Congresswoman Katie Hill, who was photographed in the buff brushing the hair of the young congressional aide she'd been shtupping in a three-way relationship. Stay classy, Democrats!

Great White Way

Right up front, we want to go on record as being very sincerely supportive of gay folks and gay marriage. But we can't help commenting on the fact that Pete Buttigieg might benefit from a little more tailoring of the image he's presenting on the campaign trail.

Although "Mayor Pete" is enjoying a nice rise in recent polls, an in-depth study of black voters in South Carolina showed that many of them found his sexual orientation to be problematic - enough so that most weren't even considering voting for him.

Part of the problem, as expressed by those polled, is that they don't mind Buttigieg being gay, but do have a problem with how vocal he is about it. So surely it isn't helping matters when Buttigieg announces a contest in which the grand prize is a trip to San Francisco (more or less the gay mecca) to enjoy an evening of musical theater with his husband, Chasten.

We're sure it will be an absolutely lovely evening, but still - isn't the whole event just a little too "on the nose" for those voters who were already feeling uncomfortable? Why not make the grand prize a visit to Buttigieg's actual home, South Bend, Indiana, where Chasten can take the lucky winners on a tour of all the positive things Mayor Pete has accomplished?

Oh, that's right - he hasn't actually done such a great job of being a small town Mayor. So maybe the fabulous distractions aren't such a bad idea after all.