Extremely Casual Friday

The coronavirus siege continues, and doesn't seem likely to change anytime soon (you can visit this Youtube site for the best and most accurate daily updates we've found). And although we take the matter seriously, we still refuse to take it solemnly - believing that laughter is the best medicine even if, like a ventilator, it needs to be shoved down our throats.

Which is why we're eschewing (gesundheit!) politics here except when absolutely necessary. Rather, we'll continue to post amusements, diversions, witticisms, and hilarious cartoons like this one:

Yikes! That was dark. We're starting to regret bartering with the neighbors and trading our antidepressants for toilet paper.

But on a different note entirely, our publication of a few pages from the "Spensive Gifts" parody catalog reminded us of the Johnson Smith novelty catalogs we enjoyed in our youth. Which prompted an online search and the discovery of goodies like this...

What you see above is a page from the 1938 version of the Johnson Smith catalog, which you can read online right here in its glorious 600-page entirety!

Relive the excitement surrounding the first appearance of the Whoopie Cushion! Thrill to the comic hijinks of a kid using the "Ventrillo" voice-throwing device to make an unsuspecting man say to a policeman "Hey copper, I'm gonna punch you in your big, fat nose!" Delight in unknown wonders like the crank harmonica which uses tiny player piano-style rolls of paper to give you "a jazz band in your pocket"! Marvel that there was once a time in America when kids could order actual "live baby alligators" for $1.50 (or a living 3-footer for just $6.50)! And cringe at a sprinkling of absolutely jaw-dropping items which are now career-ending, code red objects of political incorrectness!

We may well be starting a long rough patch in our country, but it's refreshing and frankly inspiring to see the kind of marvelous foolishness people were still enjoying despite the Great Depression. There's a lesson there for all of us. Albeit a fairly stupid one.

Spensive Gifts

During this extended period of self-isolation, it has been suggested that we all spend some time reflecting on our past and coming to new insights about who we are, deep down inside. We've done that and, based on everything in our past, determined that we've pretty much always had a screw loose...and enjoyed it!

For instance, about 30 years ago, we made a parody version of a "Spenser Gifts" catalog just because the idea tickled us. We used actual products from their pages, but substituted our own text - attempting to match the clipped and overly-enthusiastic style of the actual catalog.

Because desktop publishing wasn't really a thing back then, the original "Spensive Gifts" catalog was assembled with clipped bits of paper and a glue stick. Copies were created with a Xerox machine. And while the original catalog has disintegrated with time, the Xeroxed copies live on in all their low-rez, black and white glory.

The whole shebang is 24 pages long, and we've been toying with the idea of making it into a Kindle ebook. For now, here are three pages - let us know if you'd like to see more!

AND ONE MORE THING...

Lest We Forget

We haven't discussed politics much here lately because, in these troubled times, we just wanted to give you "funny." Happily, upon looking again at the two remaining Democrat candidates for president, it turns out we can do both at the same time...

Joe Biden, looking even more washed-out and disoriented than usual, is now making political broadcasts from his home. The address of which is stitched onto every article of his clothing in case he gets out and wanders away.

Not that Old Bland Joe is out of touch with current events. In a recent appearance on "The View" (via remote video), Biden was asked if he was concerned that Trump said (of coronavirus and quarantines) "we cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself."

Biden's stupefying answer: "We have to take care of the cure. That will make the problem worse, no matter what." After which he was hit with a tranquilizer dart and the screen went black.

And of course, Bernie Sanders is still on the cyber-campaign trail, his mood lifted by the fact that with staggering unemployment, closed businesses, and emptied supermarkets, half of his job will already be finished if he's elected.

Plus, he's got a unique perspective on our nation's health crisis...

BONUS: KNIFE KNOWING YOU