Okay, Shotgun Joe didn't actually say this about coronavirus. Or much of anything else, for that matter, which is starting to puzzle a number of people. Well, it puzzles people who aren't quite clear on the concept that if the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee is given airtime, he's likely to forget about coronavirus entirely and start babbling about how the raisins in his oatmeal look like flies and, importantly, it's pee-pee time again.
Meanwhile, President Trump is not only continuing to actively manage the Covid19 crisis, but he's also still fully up to speed on world events...
But politics and pestilence aside, there really IS some exciting news today...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAUGHTER JARLSBERG!
Whee.
Yes, today is Daughter Jarlsberg's birthday, which will be celebrated by staying indoors, avoiding other human beings, substituting K-rations for ice cream and cake, and unwrapping presents which were scrounged from our survival pantry ("Oh, boy...a First Aid kit!").
Okay, it's not an ideal time for parties. But it is an ideal time for families to be together, and the fact that she moved back home (for career advancement) on about the last day the world was normal-ish is something we're grateful for.
Of course, that career advancement is on hold for a bit; she's a speech-language pathologist at a time when mouth-centric jobs are more dangerous than having dirt on Hillary Clinton. But she is creative, witty, intelligent and talented and using this time for self-improvement. She'll definitely be kicking post-apocalyptic ass!
So please join us in wishing her a very happy socially-isolated birthday!
We've all been under considerable pressure lately and could stand to blow off a little steam. To help with that effort, we present this indescribably rare recording of the legendary "Red Rooster Band" live in concert, complete with onscreen lyrics for your singalong pleasure...
The Backstory: Okay, this was my band many eons ago. "Red Rooster and the Crimson Cocks" didn't play many gigs, but when we did we stomped the hell out of the joint. Audiences loved us because they were drunk, we were drunk, and all of our songs were deliberately tasteless (albeit performed with great enthusiasm).
I'm the lead singer who is so desperately in need of auto-tune, a sense of shame, or both. My non-identical twin brother (honest!) in the scarlet wig is Red Rooster. We co-wrote all the songs, then rounded up a wildly talented group of players who - like us - enjoyed doing something flat out stupid from time to time. Ah, youth.
All of this predates personal video cameras, so we really didn't have a way to capture a live performance. Fortunately, a friend shot a handful of 35mm slides (remember those?) which we were able to combine with a cassette recording to create this video.
Interesting fact: if you're nursing a blood alcohol limit above 0.08 it is literally impossible not to sing along with the "Bah-bah-bah" chorus. And if you doubt me, well, it's Friday - so knock down a few drinks and put it to the test!
FROM THE VAULT: FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A RAMADAN
Yesterday was the beginning of Ramadan - a perfect time to look back and reflect on things like what a complete ass-hat our last president was...
(6/17/15) As if one couldn't tell by the throngs of shoppers at the malls, the beloved songs on the radio, and the twinkle in every child's eye, today marks the beginning of Ramadan - a sacred, month-long Islamic holiday marked by fasting, prayer, and (as the president just impishly proved) "some surprises."
In this case, the surprise was Obama's barely reported release of six more Al Qaeda detainees from Guantanamo Bay, including three of Osama Bin Laden's bodyguards.
The prisoners, all of whom were classified as "high risk" by US intelligence in 2008, were reclassified as harmless (if not downright cuddly!) by Obama's "Periodic Review Board," which is charged with "finding a way to empty Gitmo - period."
To accomplish this, the Review Board takes into account things like whether the jihadists have been good about attending taxpayer-funded yoga classes designed to curb their violent impulses, and the detainees' expressed desires to return to the war torn Middle East only for the purpose of starting "milk and honey farms." No, really.
Oh sure, skeptics are going to point to the fact that nearly 30% of detainees released from Gitmo go back to killing on the battlefield. But shouldn't the holidays be a time to set aside skepticism and simply believe wholeheartedly in peace on Earth and good will to enemy combatants?
Apparently Barack Hussein Obama thinks so.
NO, BUT SERIOUSLY...
Actually, we are going to get completely serious for just a moment. It will come as no surprise to anyone here that a lot of what we're hearing about coronavirus/Covid19 is highly politicized bullcrap, MSM spin, or just plain stupidity. But we don't have to settle for that.
Dr. Chris Martenson, a pathologist and economist, has been posting near-daily Youtube videos (usually between 30 and 40 minutes) for three months now. It's the single best, smartest, least political, and most accurate source of coronavirus news that we've found. You can see his latest video at this link, and you should hit that "subscribe" button to stay weeks ahead of everyone else.
For instance, you may have seen recent stories from Reuters, the AP, NY Times, Fox News and more that hydroxychloroquine, the anti-malarial drug touted by President Trump, is not only ineffective but actually harmful to patients per a Stanford study. And it's shameful the amount of glee most "news" sources exhibited when snuffing out this ray of hope, because they'd rather Trump be wrong than have an actual treatment for Covid19. But here's the thing...
They were lying. Or, charitably, idiots.
Dr. Martenson breaks down the real information flowing in from around the world, and it seems likely that hydroxychloroquine (when administered at the right time, and with an antibiotic and mineral combo) is actually tremendously effective in treating Covid19. And it pisses us off that such potentially good news is being buried (although it won't stay buried for long). You can get the full scientific breakdown from Dr. Martenson in this video.
Some of what Dr. Martenson shares is scary, because truth can be scary. But that's a price worth paying to avoid being misinformed during a time of crisis.
Now that the world is officially composed of tumbling dominos, it's interesting (like staring at a car wreck) to look at which one has fallen the most recently...and hardest. In this case it's oil futures, which went deep into negative territory on Monday (meaning suppliers were actually paying people to take oil off their hands) before staging a feeble recovery on Tuesday.
Former and future bartender, democrat Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, tweeted of the unprecedented below-zero oil prices "You absolutely love to see it. It's the right time for a worker-led, mass investment in green infrastructure to save our planet. *cough*" (Note: AOC's "cough" was, disappointingly, an attempt at humor and not indicative that she's in the final throes of Covid19.)
The mind-boggling idiocy of her pronouncement is so bad that the Board of Regents at Boston University, her alma matter, is not only talking about revoking her degree in economics, but also tarring and feathering her while tar is essentially free.
When there's no money to be made from drilling, refining, or transporting oil, the supply lines will stop. As will everything that ran on oil, which is pretty much civilization as we know it. And at that point, it's highly unlikely that roving bands of starving survivors will take much interest in windmills, solar panels, or replacing our nation's entire infrastructure with only the tools that the Amish use to raise barns.
Of course, the governments of the world will attempt to keep that from happening by propping up the oil industry with yet more trillions in monopoly money hot off the printing presses. At which point AOC may finally be exposed to fiscal terms like "hyper-inflation" which she clearly never encountered while dancing on rooftops at Boston U ("home of the Fighting Baked Beans").
FROM THE VAULT: HAPPY EARTH DAY!
Today is Earth Day, meaning that if any restaurants were open, Earth could get a free dessert and have an embarrassing song sung to it by hand-clapping waiters and waitresses. Sadly, that's not the case this year, and large public celebrations are unlikely what with the whole "go outside and die" thing.
That's why we're going back to 2013 for this Earth Day visit with Bark Obama and Joe Bitem!
