Shop And Awe

Just to be clear, here at Stilton's Place we do care about the latest developments in coronavirus news, the perfidy of those who committed injustice against Michael Flynn, Donald Trump, and the American people, and the #MeToo Democrats who are letting Joe Biden off the hook because "it's okay to stick your fingers in as long as it's not up to your elbow."

But frankly, it's all a bit overwhelming what with the world being broken and all, which is why we're paying yet another visit to the bargain-packed wonderland that is Spensive Gifts...

Have a fun and safe weekend (assuming those aren't mutually incompatible)! And we'll see you in the comments section to discuss current events or anything else you like!

UPDATE: A DIFFERENT SLANT ON THINGS

A number of readers have expressed appreciation for the inscrutable Chinese Insult Mugs, which reminded me of this lovely graphic I received from my father. "The secret of wisdom," he said at the time, "is to look at the things the right way." So give that a try... 

Quite the Item

Some businesses in America are finally opening up, giving ordinary glove-wearing mask-wielding, Purell-scented citizens the ability to shop in only a mild state of terror. Personally, we're going to give it a little more time (we're old, have underlying health issues, and have the kind of personality that makes medical personnel feel so-so about saving you).

Fortunately for the homebound, there is still pleasure to be found in shopping the way we did before the Internet: reclining in an overstuffed La-Z-Boy with a calming adult beverage and another odd edition of Spensive Gifts...

ALSO IN THE NEWS: THE GREENS PARTY CANDIDATE

Yesterday Joe Biden finally received Hillary Clinton's endorsement for President of the United States, surprising a number of Washington insiders who thought she would have had him killed by now.

Apparently the former First Lady's endorsement was a direct result of a long conversation with husband Bill Clinton, who pointed out that Hillary was obliged to support any Democrat who is a member in good standing of Washington's "Stinky Pinky Club," over which Slick Willy presides.

Biden himself has not issued an official statement, but one is expected to be forthcoming as soon as he can be lured out from his pillow fort with a plate of warm cookies.

Biden Goes Viral

Okay, Shotgun Joe didn't actually say this about coronavirus. Or much of anything else, for that matter, which is starting to puzzle a number of people. Well, it puzzles people who aren't quite clear on the concept that if the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee is given airtime, he's likely to forget about coronavirus entirely and start babbling about how the raisins in his oatmeal look like flies and, importantly, it's pee-pee time again.

Meanwhile, President Trump is not only continuing to actively manage the Covid19 crisis, but he's also still fully up to speed on world events...

But politics and pestilence aside, there really IS some exciting news today...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAUGHTER JARLSBERG!

Whee.

Yes, today is Daughter Jarlsberg's birthday, which will be celebrated by staying indoors, avoiding other human beings, substituting K-rations for ice cream and cake, and unwrapping presents which were scrounged from our survival pantry ("Oh, boy...a First Aid kit!").

Okay, it's not an ideal time for parties. But it is an ideal time for families to be together, and the fact that she moved back home (for career advancement) on about the last day the world was normal-ish is something we're grateful for.

Of course, that career advancement is on hold for a bit; she's a speech-language pathologist at a time when mouth-centric jobs are more dangerous than having dirt on Hillary Clinton. But she is creative, witty, intelligent and talented and using this time for self-improvement. She'll definitely be kicking post-apocalyptic ass!

So please join us in wishing her a very happy socially-isolated birthday!