Time Off for Bad Behavior

Remember a couple of weeks ago when we said we were going to take time off to "catch up on things?" Well, that was pretty much a disaster. So we're trying it again for today and Friday.

All is fine - we just need to turn the tide on all of the undone things which are stacking up around here. We'll see you in the comments section - and here's a little foolishness just to say "thanks" for stopping by!

Guerillas In Our Midst

Coincidentally, they're also the "Not Fucking Clear On Covering Your Damn Noses" Coalition.

Tragedy rocked Louisville, Kentucky this weekend when three members of the BLM-supporting militia group, the "Not Fucking Around Coaltion," were shot by one of their own members who was apparently screwing around like a "Fucking Asshole," which is a different but ideologically similar coalition with a considerable overlap in membership.

At the time of this writing, it is still not clear if the shooter will be charged with any crimes or simply receive a special commendation for public service.

The group's founder, Grandmaster Jay (who apparently doesn't know the name "master" is potentially offensive), assured the public that his militia's presence is no cause for alarm, that their intent is entirely peaceful and, if they don't get exactly what they're demanding in the next four weeks, that Louisville will be left in ashes because "we are going to burn this motherfucker down."

Should that occur, for the safety of the NFAC's surviving members, we'd like to recommend that they don't ask Dr. Anthony Fauci to throw out the first molotov cocktail...

Reminder: MLB supports the fight against Dyslexia!

News at Tan

In our constant quest to bring diversity to these pages, Stilton's Place has again solicited opinions on topical stories from a variety of women, including women of color. Toasty brown color.

And who can argue with their trenchant insights? For instance, it's actually 100% true that the "Washington Redskins" have officially changed their name to the "Washington Football Team."  Although this represents a new low in sheer gutlessness, we think that the name is still offensive - and not just because of the reference to A) a dead white slaveowner and/or B) a filthy corruption-filled swamp.

Did the owners (and how offensive is that term?!)  give any consideration to the fact that the rest of the world says that "football" means "soccer?" Isn't it time for us to adopt the global standard and call our sport something else entirely? And can we really tolerate the word "team," which is a blatant homophone for "teem" - as in "the wretched refuse of your teeming shore"? Why is anyone still calling immigrants "wretched refuse"?! Seriously, the whole name needs a complete do-over. And while they're at it, ditch the religiously offensive "pigskin."

And speaking of pigs (we are masters of the deft segue), how about the "Wall of Moms" who linked arms in Portland to guard their precious little protest-fascists against the big bad police? These "Moms" claim unwavering and unthinking allegiance to Black leaders, none of whom seem to turn up in pictures of the event.

"If [Black leaders] want one wall of moms, they get one!" said one of the petulant, blindingly-white middle-aged women. "If they want two, they get two! If they tell us to jump, we jump. And if they tell us to leave, we leave." Which we'll bet happens a lot.

And rounding out (rather fetchingly) today's trio of stories, Donald Trump has finally been seen wearing a Covid-19 suppressing face mask. He has additionally tweeted that "in our effort to defeat the Invisible China Virus...it is patriotic to wear a face mask." That's not quite declaring that he backs the science, but hopefully people who have been reluctant to wear masks in public will now do so in order to keep Donald Trump  from thinking that they're anti-American assholes.

BONUS: DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER, DAMMIT!

There's really no special significance to this cartoon, but sometimes punchlines come to us unbidden and if we don't get them out of our head, we break out in hives. True story.

IN MEMORIAM: OL' REMUS & THE WOODPILE REPORT

We're sad to report that Ol' Remus, the host of the popular conservative blog "The Woodpile Report" has passed away. The blog was a reliable source of wit, information, and analysis. It will be missed.