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Friday, September 25, 2020

Ruthless 2 - The Sequel

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ginsburg, RBG, clintons, abortion, planned parenthood, biden, debate, louisville

Everyone grieves in their own private way. For instance, our personal way of expressing grief is to give the corpus delicti about 48 hours of holding our tongue, after which we feel free to mock them again if, in life, they were something of a pain in the ass.

Mind you, we have our limits and would never write something as tasteless as saying that rather than burial or cremation, the fiercely pro-abortion Ginsburg specified that her skull be crushed with forceps, after which her limbs would be snipped off and removed one at a time, with all the messy pieces of her teeny tiny body ending up in a rusty dumpster behind a Planned Parenthood office. Others might say it, but not us. It's a little thing we like to call "class."

So to satisfy our urge for feistiness, let's dive into some...

SHORT TAKES

• Biden's campaign team has him "calling it a day" with regards to press exposure by about 9 or 10 in the morning lately. Is it possible that Biden is "sundowning?" For those unfamiliar with the term, it's a common condition for those with dementia in which symptoms and confusion grow worse later in the day or when the sun goes down. (Update: apparently we're not the only ones thinking about this possibility)

• Still reeling from panic-buying of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, grocery stores nationwide are now finding their shelves stripped of popcorn prior to Tuesday's first presidential debate. Okay, not really - but talk about "must see" TV! Although we're still betting that Biden's camp will find some excuse to back out. 

• The usual suspects are rioting in Louisville over their dissatisfaction with a grand jury's finding that the police officers associated with the death of Breonna Taylor had not broken the law and for the most part acted absolutely appropriately. There was no evidence of racism in the entire event, which didn't stop this protesting asshole from allegedly shooting two cops in downtown Louisville...

This is Larynzo Johnson, whose parents clearly won no spelling bees

The two officers, one of whom is black, are expected to recover. Which, for all we know, will set off yet more riots.

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Wish Vigorously For At Least 20 Seconds

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ginsburg, last wish, wish, final wish, Trump, Supreme Court, George Floyd

Ruth Bader Ginsburg died at the worst possible moment, because she might well have cast the tie-breaking vote when the Supreme Court decides whether our nation's highest legal standards rest on the Constitution or on a dying person's "most fervent wish."

Certainly, there's no debate amongst those on the Left: a "most fervent wish" or "final wish" wins every single time and takes precedence over all other legal considerations as long as the decedent wasn't a conservative who was, by definition, hellbound.

But if we accept this as precedent, surely more needs to be done to formalize and codify fervent last wishes. Sure, Ginsburg's granddaughter claims that the late Justice's most fervent wish was to not let Trump pick her replacement, but how do we know with certainty that RBG's real final, most fervent wish wasn't just to "break me off a piece of that KitKat bar?"

For that reason, it strikes us as important that all fervent final wishes be entered onto a pre-need 1040-FFW form, notarized, and recorded with the appropriate government office to expedite eventual enforcement. Indeed, filling out the 1040-FFW form should become a crucial component of every family's estate planning.

How else can we ensure that final fervent wishes are honored, such as Nancy Pelosi's wish to make Botox free for elected officials, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's wish that someone would finally clarify the difference between an ass and an elbow, Wilford Brimley's fervent final wish that we all eat a lot more oatmeal, Hillary Clinton's wish that a movie be made in which she is depicted as ruling Wakanda under the name "The Black Pantsuit," or Joe Biden's wish that Alaska and Hawaii will someday be made U.S. states?

Of course, some wishes - even those properly filed and notarized - will be difficult to execute, such as George Floyd's fervent final wish that he hadn't taken a lethal dose of fentanyl. Is such a wish even actionable? We won't know until a decision is issued by a fully-staffed Supreme Court... hopefully long before November.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Ruthless

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ginsburg, supreme court, nominee
Note: This is not a Ruth Bader Ginsburg joke. It is a "wise Latina" joke.

Even though we can no longer hear or see the spinning blades, yet more crap has hit the fan in 2020. In this case, the passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg at age 87. You don't have to have agreed with her politics to concede that she was a formidable and groundbreaking woman who accomplished a lot, and who fought a terrible illness with great strength and bravery. 

Now there is an empty seat on the Supreme Court, and yet another battle royale over whether President Trump has the right to try to push through a replacement in what could possibly be the final days of his administration. As both political parties have passionately argued both sides of the issue in the past (unsurprisingly, they were in favor of whatever would most benefit them politically at the moment), we can effectively ignore whatever they're yammering about now.

Instead, let's look into the more interesting subject of just who Donald Trump will nominate for the position. He has already announced that he thinks the nominee should be a woman, which probably comes as a disappointment to Ted Cruz, whom Trump had declared to be on the short list. Then again, since Trump has never formally withdrawn his accusation that Ted Cruz's father helped assassinate JFK, it seems likely that a confirmation hearing could have gotten a wee bit contentious.

Personally, we'd like to see Trump nominate Hillary Clinton for the post because, in confirmation hearings, it would be hilarious to hear her endlessly invoking the Fifth Amendment or claiming memory lapses owing to head injuries. And BONUS - a fresh FBI investigation of her entire past!

So as President Trump reflects on who he wants to add to the Supreme Court, let's open the vault door to reflect on some relevant cartoons from the past...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ginsburg, supreme court, nominee, obama

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ginsburg, supreme court, nominee, trump, lefty lucy, hitler