Oh Barry Me Not

In today's confusing and ever-shifting landscape of smoke, mirrors, and outright lies, it's nice to know that some things never change. Like the fact that Barack Obama is still a divisive race-baiting piece of excrement, and we still enjoy mocking him.

Barry is currently schlepping yet another autobiography, this one titled "A Promised Land." And as usual, the man who helped set America's streets on fire is eager to attack those darn persons of no-color. In his book, he attributes President Trump's election to the idea that the Orange Man was "an elixir for the racial anxiety of millions of Americans spooked by a black man in the White House," adding "my very presence in the White House triggered a deep-seated panic." Of course, we agree with that latter statement for myriad policy reasons that have nothing to do with his race.

Also popping up in the public eye like an unwanted stye is Michelle Obama, who has rejected the idea of "unity and healing" (which, in fairness, we have too) and recently tweeted that "tens of millions of people voted for the status quo, even when it meant supporting lies, hate, chaos, and division." So we're again reminded that when she was forcing inner city kids to work her White House vegetable garden, Michelle was at least able to provide all the manure needed.

But getting back to B. Hussein's literary efforts (and self-absorption), let's pay a little visit to some of our past observations on the subject...

And we can't resist sharing this post from 2010 in its entirety...

 

The ever-prolific Barack Obama has just completed work on a children's picture book entitled "Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters." 

Originally, the book (which was written as part of a $1.9 million publishing contract) was supposed to be about young Barack Hussein Obama, a "skinny kid with big ears and a funny name." That version of the book has been shelved, however, perhaps because this didn't seem like the very best time to remind people that the skinny kid with big ears was raised by a Muslim stepfather in Islam-dominated Indonesia. 

Instead, the president's new book focuses on famous American icons like George Washington, whose infamous teeth demonstrated the need for universal healthcare...Jackie Robinson, who proved that African-Americans could play sports...and painter Georgia O'Keefe, who showed us that close-ups of flowers could look like something other than close-ups of flowers. 

The book features a colorful cover which shows the president's daughters taking their dog Bo for a walk... but not carrying a plastic bag with which to clean up any steaming mess he leaves at the White House. Now there's symbolism.

 

BONUS: A CRYPTIC VICTORY?

We're really not big on conspiracy theories, and it's nearly impossible to get accurate information about anything from the media anymore. But that being said, our gut is telling us that there's a better than 50/50 chance that there was widespread voting fraud, and on a scale large enough to change the outcome of the election.

Proof? We don't have it yet (emphasis on "yet,"). But based on Democrat precedent, we should continue with at least 3+ years of investigation anyway.

Serfs Up

Despite repeated calls from the Left for "Unity and healing...or else," we seem to be no closer to untangling the colossal fustercluck which was the recent alleged election. Because depending on who you listen to, there is either massive evidence of widespread voting fraud...or this was the squeakiest clean election ever. 

Our gut tells us that it's the former, and apparently about 71 million other guts are currently telling their owners the same thing. Which means the chance of achieving national "unity and healing" anytime soon is smaller than a gnat's fart...albeit more pungent. 

The only way out of this mess is to prove to everyone's satisfaction that the election results were fair, accurate, and not corrupted by the Democrats, big tech, the Chinese, or the lying Washington bastards who've tried to overthrow the government for the past four years. Happily, both sides can readily agree that a thorough investigation is warranted, and should be conducted with care and transparency.

Ha, ha - just kidding! The party that spent tens of millions of dollars and years of time "investigating" whether or not Donald Trump paid Russian hookers to pee on a bed once used by Obama (which he didn't, but probably should have) suddenly finds it unseemly to conduct investigations...especially into something as trivial as blatant election tampering.

Whatever the eventual outcome of the legal maneuverings, all of this is not going to end well. Half of America is going to be totally unwilling to accept the legitimacy of our next president. And that's going to make for a very long, and potentially dangerous, four years.

SHORT TAKES

• Barack Obama is currently on the interview circuit to promote his third freaking autobiography, and a fourth is already scheduled. The book, "A Promised Land," is a hefty 768 pages which could make it difficult, but not impossible, for him to shove up his ass.

• Readers have asked for a medical update on Mrs. Jarlsberg, and we're happy to report that she's mending nicely from her back, foot, and wrist injuries. She has also amazed her physical therapists by actually doing her exercises at home, which apparently is something of a rarity among patients.

• The suspicious timing of Pfizer's recent announcement of a Covid-19 vaccine stinks to high heaven, as did their now recanted claim that they had nothing to do with President Trump's "Operation Warp Speed" vaccine initiative. This doesn't do much to build our confidence in the vaccine itself, especially since it uses a technology that has never been used before (having to do with messenger RNA telling your cells to do funny things). We hope the vaccine is great, effective, and safe - but we're not going to be first in line to try it, having grown used to life with only one head.

But in the interim, there are very effective protocols that can be used to greatly reduce the dangers posed by Covid-19. These protocols are all backed by science and, oddly, pretty much hidden from public view by the government, the media, and formerly respectable medical institutions. The rat bastards.

So here are the most recent protocols, which we encourage you to print out and share with others:

By the way, this chart was prepared for medical personnel, so when it refers to patients "on floor," they mean "checked into the hospital" as opposed to "stretched out cold on the carpet." Also, even if you're sick of hearing about all of this (and who isn't?) we'll note that at the very least, the benefits of taking Vitamin D appear to be fairly astounding when it comes to this illness. It's cheap, it's safe, and it's readily available - but it takes a little while for it to build up in your body, so don't wait.

AND FINALLY...

A classic (and now timely) cartoon by Stilton's Dad...

Old Face-Full

While it's still unclear whether or not Joe Biden will be certified as the president-elect, it's absolutely clear that he intends to issue a mask mandate if given the opportunity. And while we think that wearing masks is a good idea...the idea of it being a mandate from the Dems boils our blood.

Happily, we can all practice good hygiene and patriotism with the exciting new Stilton's Place "Biden Sucks" surgical mask! It not only slows the transmission of infectious phlegm (not to be confused with mainstream news, although the differences are admittedly slight) but reminds everyone that the man who now claims to be an expert in disease control enjoys slobbering on women's fingers in public without first getting written consent.

VETERANS DAY 2020

(This commentary is from 2010, but our sentiments and gratitude are exactly the same.)

 
In our current politically divisive, media-oversaturated environment, it would be easy to think that the most important battles for freedom are being fought by politicians and pundits. But that wouldn't be true, and it never has been.

Today we celebrate and honor the men and women of America's armed forces, who gave birth to this country...have nurtured and protected it...and have advanced the cause of freedom around the world. Their sacrifices, and those of their families, should humble everyone who enjoys the magnificent blessings of their service...and should also, at least for one day, silence the strident voices shouting from the safety of the sidelines.

Fly your flag today...and thank as many veterans as possible for your right and ability to do so.

DOG TAGGED

Granted, the meaning and importance of Veterans Day isn't crystal clear to some folks...