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Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Fruit of the Loons

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, pelosi, trump, orange man, pandemic, covid, bitch

So now we live in a world in which working-class people are having their lives and livelihoods destroyed by a ruling class that has enough disposable income to have custom-tailored Covid masks made to match their designer outfits each day. Although in fairness to Nancy Pelosi, health experts tell us that it's important for us to get enough Vitamin C these days - although Nancy is clearly overestimating the benefits from citrus prints on cotton.

Pelosi is at least warming to the idea of finally letting a bit of Covid relief money flow out to the general public, and she's making it clear why she was unwilling to do so previously: she didn't want the American people to have any relief until there was a different president. Because, and we say this with all due respect, she's a horrible bitch.

But unless several miracles happen (and they sometimes do!), there is indeed a different president in the offing. Which is why Joe Biden is nodding his noggin like the useless bobblehead he is while the most radical members of his party are selecting his cabinet members.

One of them is thought to be retired General Lloyd Austin, who would become Defense Secretary. General Austin's main military accomplishment is seemingly his supervision of troop withdrawals from Iraq in 2011, which worked out in less than peachy fashion.

Under a Biden administration, General Austin's main duties would be supervising the distribution of President Trump's Covid-19 vaccine (which is already happening), improving diversity in the military's top ranks, and tackling climate change as a national security issue. Because that policy was such a big success under Obama...

"But wait!" you may say. "Won't Biden appoint someone who knows how to fight a war?" And the answer is that he already plans to do so, by choosing California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to head the Health and Human Services Department, where he can continue his long-fought war against the nuns in The Little Sisters of the Poor for opposing abortions. Which is the inhuman Becerra's only experience in (ahem) health and/or human services. 

Monday, December 7, 2020

Headlines Over Heels

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, election, headlines, babylon bee, ivermectin, masks

Because the "news" continues to be maddening, baffling, and entirely untrustworthy, we've once again foregone editorializing in favor of going for a few cheap laughs. As we explained a week or so ago, we've joined a private forum over at The Babylon Bee where people can submit fake news headlines for consideration and really lazy people can recycle their own submissions to use as a blog post.

With the time we saved, we managed to get the outdoor Christmas lights put in place (a growing challenge as time erodes our joints and initiative). We once again went with a tasteful monochromatic red theme, to which we've daringly added an inflatable snowman to inject a note of extra gaiety in these times of plague. We also enjoy knowing that Alexandria "Green New Deal" Ocasio-Cortez would be absolutely appalled by such a waste of electricity.

And as long as we're taking a scattershot approach to today's post, let's try a few random thoughts...

• Hospitals are running out of space for Covid-19 patients as cases explode, causing more and more lockdowns around the country. But the number of hospitalizations could theoretically be cut drastically (by more than half) if people were just prescribed Ivermectin (a cheap and safe drug) if exposed to the virus or only beginning to show symptoms. Why this isn't happening all over the country is puzzling, but what the hell hasn't been puzzling about the response to this virus? (UPDATE: Youtube has banned the video I linked to, but for now you can see a video about this act of censorship at this link.)

• On a completely unrelated note, we recently purchased a number of tubes of apple-flavored Ivermectin paste which will come in very handy if we someday buy horses and they come down with stomach bots and need to be dewormed. 

• Joe Biden has conceded (if only...!) that it's unlikely that there will be parades in his honor anytime soon, and that he will probably have to have a "virtual inauguration" along the lines of the Democrat "virtual convention" in which celebrities submitted poorly lit videos of themselves criticizing President Trump and kissing Biden's rear end. But will there be an Inaugural Ball? "As always," says Biden, "That's up to Jill."

• We've been reading that Democrats have floated the idea of giving people a $1500 stimulus for taking the new vaccine. While we certainly hope the new vaccines are safe and effective, and we're definitely not in the anti-vax crowd, the idea of laying out that kind of taxpayer cash to encourage people to become guinea pigs makes us more uncomfortable about the possible risks. Then again, the safety of the vaccine might not even be a factor; the Dems would love to start giving away money (the same money they withheld before the election) to make people think that they've hit the jackpot with Gropin' Joe.

• As long as Barry Soetoro has decided to redouble his efforts to be the most annoying douchebag in history, this seems like a good time for a trip down memory lane...

FROM THE VAULT: DEC 7th, 2016 - ANOTHER DAY OF INFAMY

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, pearl harbor, 2016, 75th, bitterness, japan

The few remaining survivors of that horrible day 75 years ago now have the odd distinction of being attacked twice at Pearl Harbor...once by the Japanese, and once by the Obama administration.

Yes, we understand the symbolic importance of showing Japan and the United States united on this historic anniversary - but it could so easily have been presented to the public without accusing those aging heroes who fought, bled, and saw their friends and shipmates blown to pieces, drowned, or burned alive of "personal bitterness" if they haven't just "moved on" and made their peace with the horror of the sneak attack.

This appalling statement makes it clear that, in the mind of this administration, this anniversary is not about those who fought or died at Pearl Harbor, but rather about one more fatuous photo-op with a foreign figurehead for the sole benefit of the second greatest American tragedy to originate in Hawaii: Barack Hussein Obama.

Friday, December 4, 2020

Baseless Loaded

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, election, fraud, trump, biden, pennsylvania, truck, whistleblowers, barr

Democrats and their evil twins in the media are still laughing off President Trump's legal battle to investigate election fraud, saying that the growing dozens of whistleblower reports, given under oath and legal liability, represent only "baseless allegations." They then say that there's no need to investigate baseless allegations...which is, of course, the only way you can prove the allegations aren't baseless. 

But the reports (some backed with video) are compelling. The truck driver in the cartoon above was a contractor for the USPS, and he got a call to drive a truckload of mail-in ballots (anywhere between 144,000 and 288,000) from New York to Pennsylvania. Which is weird. He also noted that the thousands of ballots already had hand-written return addresses on them, which is also weird for Pennsylvania ballots that are, for some reason, coming from New York. After arriving at the USPS facility (and being kept waiting in his truck for six hours) an official told him to break with normal protocol and drive the truck to another town and park the trailer. He did so...and the next day the trailer and all its contents were gone.

Most media outlets are gleefully, and falsely, reporting that Attorney General Robert Barr has said there was no election fraud. What he actually said was, "to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election."

Which suggests that the Justice Department has found fraud, of a lesser scale, and that they're still investigating. And as more whistleblowers come forward, they'll have more specifics to investigate.

Many of the media's talking heads are arguing that there's no point in pursuing any of this if it wouldn't change the outcome of the election. Which, if we had more time to compose our thoughts and were 100% sober, we'd try to describe as something other than complete bullshit. But that's what it is. 

The importance of having trust in our election system can't be overstated and the penalties for committing election fraud must be severe. Our nation is not going to move forward if 50% of the electorate believes, with cause, that the election process has been tainted. Politicians who are blind to that fact and are unwilling to aggressively pursue investigations may soon find themselves "baseless."