Actionable News

It can't be easy just now to be working in the mainstream news media, because you not only have to try to cover up the Hunter Biden scandal and the Eric "Pirrow Talk" Swalwell scandal, but you also need to hide yet another scandal in a shallow grave: a study that shows even with Democrat cheating, Trump would have trounced Joe Biden at the polls if the "news" media had just been reporting actual news to their audiences.

In a survey of Biden voters in seven swing states, one in six declared they wouldn't have voted for Biden (and in some cases would've voted for Trump) if they had been aware of major news stories which somehow (ahem) had been omitted from mainstream newscasts and censored by social media sources.

Here are some of the main things that Biden voters didn't know (and which they now say would have influenced their votes). In each case, had the voters known even one of these stories, Biden would have lost.

• 35.4% of Biden voters were completely unaware that there were serious accusations of sex assault leveled against Joe Biden by former staffer Tara Reade. This despite Kamala Harris, early in her campaign, saying the accusations were credible. And, oh yeah, that Joe was a racist.

• 45.1% of Biden voters had no idea that there was a developing financial scandal (and likely influence-peddling scandal) involving Hunter Biden and his dad, Joe "The Big Guy" Biden. They were presumably also unaware that Hunter Biden's laptop computer gives damning evidence for all of this, and likewise unaware that a naked Hunter appeared in a video smoking crack while a woman stroked his poll standings with her feet.

• 25.3% of Biden voters were unaware that Kamala "Commie" Harris has the most left-wing record of anyone in the Senate, making Bernie Sanders look like Ronald Reagan. Or that she got her political start by accepting several positions (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) under married San Francisco mayor Willie Brown. It is unknown if her feet were involved, so quit asking, Hunter.

• 39.4% of Biden voters never got the news that there was an explosive resurgence in employment following the initial impact of the pandemic. 49% had further never heard that under Trump, there was a gigantic jump in economic growth this year. In fact, it is unlikely that they ever got any economic news at all that didn't include a Democrat politician's name in close proximity to the word "free."

• 43.5% of Biden voters had cartoon-style question marks floating above their heads upon hearing that President Trump brokered historic peace agreements in the Middle East and has received three nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize. A Prize which normally only goes to half-black presidents for "looking promising."

• 50.5% of Biden voters had no idea that President Trump's policies had not only made the United States energy-independent but made us an actual energy exporter. Of course, these same people have no idea that our nation can't be powered by gigantic pinwheels spun by unicorn farts.

• 36.1% of Biden voters likely had their eyeballs bugging out above their masks when told - apparently for the first time - about the Trump administration's key role in getting the Covid vaccines developed through Operation Warp Speed. They had heard, however, that President Trump was personally responsible for every single Covid death. And quite likely cancer.

And there we have it: the worst case of election interference in the history of our nation, pulled off by a consortium of media and tech companies who have made it their business to promote hate, division, and an utterly ignorant electorate to bolster their own interests and anti-American ideology.

Which, when you think about it, is one hell of a news story. It's a pity that most Democrats will never get to hear it.

AND JUST FOR MUCH-NEEDED LAUGHS...

Fruit of the Loons

So now we live in a world in which working-class people are having their lives and livelihoods destroyed by a ruling class that has enough disposable income to have custom-tailored Covid masks made to match their designer outfits each day. Although in fairness to Nancy Pelosi, health experts tell us that it's important for us to get enough Vitamin C these days - although Nancy is clearly overestimating the benefits from citrus prints on cotton.

Pelosi is at least warming to the idea of finally letting a bit of Covid relief money flow out to the general public, and she's making it clear why she was unwilling to do so previously: she didn't want the American people to have any relief until there was a different president. Because, and we say this with all due respect, she's a horrible bitch.

But unless several miracles happen (and they sometimes do!), there is indeed a different president in the offing. Which is why Joe Biden is nodding his noggin like the useless bobblehead he is while the most radical members of his party are selecting his cabinet members.

One of them is thought to be retired General Lloyd Austin, who would become Defense Secretary. General Austin's main military accomplishment is seemingly his supervision of troop withdrawals from Iraq in 2011, which worked out in less than peachy fashion.

Under a Biden administration, General Austin's main duties would be supervising the distribution of President Trump's Covid-19 vaccine (which is already happening), improving diversity in the military's top ranks, and tackling climate change as a national security issue. Because that policy was such a big success under Obama...

"But wait!" you may say. "Won't Biden appoint someone who knows how to fight a war?" And the answer is that he already plans to do so, by choosing California Attorney General Xavier Becerra to head the Health and Human Services Department, where he can continue his long-fought war against the nuns in The Little Sisters of the Poor for opposing abortions. Which is the inhuman Becerra's only experience in (ahem) health and/or human services. 

Headlines Over Heels

Because the "news" continues to be maddening, baffling, and entirely untrustworthy, we've once again foregone editorializing in favor of going for a few cheap laughs. As we explained a week or so ago, we've joined a private forum over at The Babylon Bee where people can submit fake news headlines for consideration and really lazy people can recycle their own submissions to use as a blog post.

With the time we saved, we managed to get the outdoor Christmas lights put in place (a growing challenge as time erodes our joints and initiative). We once again went with a tasteful monochromatic red theme, to which we've daringly added an inflatable snowman to inject a note of extra gaiety in these times of plague. We also enjoy knowing that Alexandria "Green New Deal" Ocasio-Cortez would be absolutely appalled by such a waste of electricity.

And as long as we're taking a scattershot approach to today's post, let's try a few random thoughts...

• Hospitals are running out of space for Covid-19 patients as cases explode, causing more and more lockdowns around the country. But the number of hospitalizations could theoretically be cut drastically (by more than half) if people were just prescribed Ivermectin (a cheap and safe drug) if exposed to the virus or only beginning to show symptoms. Why this isn't happening all over the country is puzzling, but what the hell hasn't been puzzling about the response to this virus? (UPDATE: Youtube has banned the video I linked to, but for now you can see a video about this act of censorship at this link.)

• On a completely unrelated note, we recently purchased a number of tubes of apple-flavored Ivermectin paste which will come in very handy if we someday buy horses and they come down with stomach bots and need to be dewormed. 

• Joe Biden has conceded (if only...!) that it's unlikely that there will be parades in his honor anytime soon, and that he will probably have to have a "virtual inauguration" along the lines of the Democrat "virtual convention" in which celebrities submitted poorly lit videos of themselves criticizing President Trump and kissing Biden's rear end. But will there be an Inaugural Ball? "As always," says Biden, "That's up to Jill."

• We've been reading that Democrats have floated the idea of giving people a $1500 stimulus for taking the new vaccine. While we certainly hope the new vaccines are safe and effective, and we're definitely not in the anti-vax crowd, the idea of laying out that kind of taxpayer cash to encourage people to become guinea pigs makes us more uncomfortable about the possible risks. Then again, the safety of the vaccine might not even be a factor; the Dems would love to start giving away money (the same money they withheld before the election) to make people think that they've hit the jackpot with Gropin' Joe.

• As long as Barry Soetoro has decided to redouble his efforts to be the most annoying douchebag in history, this seems like a good time for a trip down memory lane...

FROM THE VAULT: DEC 7th, 2016 - ANOTHER DAY OF INFAMY

The few remaining survivors of that horrible day 75 years ago now have the odd distinction of being attacked twice at Pearl Harbor...once by the Japanese, and once by the Obama administration.

Yes, we understand the symbolic importance of showing Japan and the United States united on this historic anniversary - but it could so easily have been presented to the public without accusing those aging heroes who fought, bled, and saw their friends and shipmates blown to pieces, drowned, or burned alive of "personal bitterness" if they haven't just "moved on" and made their peace with the horror of the sneak attack.

This appalling statement makes it clear that, in the mind of this administration, this anniversary is not about those who fought or died at Pearl Harbor, but rather about one more fatuous photo-op with a foreign figurehead for the sole benefit of the second greatest American tragedy to originate in Hawaii: Barack Hussein Obama.