Humped Day

Yeah, we weren't really feeling the whole "comment on the unending tsunami of horrible news" thing today, which is why we're posting our semi-frequent Hail Mary feature, "O Caption, My Caption." Something which may be happening quite a bit now that avoiding the news is an important factor for mental health.

But why, you may ask, is Busty Ross presenting the cartoon? It's because no matter how lame the reason for her appearance, Ms. Ross makes every day a little better - and don't we all need that right now?

In other less-than-exciting news:

• The Jarlsberg family pitbull, terrifyingly named "Ladybug," apparently needs a surgical procedure to repair an ACL injury in her back leg. The procedure involves cutting out part of a bone, then mending it with a steel plate and six screws. All of which is simply a preamble to this statement: how badass is a pitbull with a steel plate in her?!

• Mr. and Mrs. Jarlsberg will be getting their first vaccine shots this week (on Thursday and Friday) and hopefully will suffer no untoward consequences. Absolutely nothing has been said by authorities about showing up for the shots cold sober, so it's nice to have options.

• After months of social isolation, the Jarlsberg family is pleased to announce that on Wednesday afternoon they are hosting a small reception for The Dryer Repair Guy, followed by a viewing of the currently disabled Kenmore that's been tumbling the Jarlsbergs' undergarments since 1985.

• Yesterday, the Jarlsbergs' Toyota Camry, which is old but not as old as the ancient Kenmore dryer, spontaneously started blowing smoke out from under the hood, adding considerable excitement to an otherwise unremarkable outing. Although no official diagnosis has been made, all signs point to "it's just more fricking 2021."

Throwing Shade

Meet your new camp counselor

Rhetoric from the Left is getting uncomfortably "final solution-ish" lately. Which isn't surprising considering that most media outlets are now literally claiming that anyone who doesn't like Biden is a domestic terrorist.  Oh sure, you can try to convince your liberal friends (assuming you still have any) that you're nothing of the sort, but why should they believe anything a domestic terrorist says?! That's Logic 101, folks!

Of course, part of the problem may relate to the fact that the deeply divided factions in our nation can't even agree on what "terror" is anymore...

Frankly, in the event of a win, we're really hoping that BLM can send a large contingent of "mostly peaceful" representatives to Oslo to accept the prestigious award, set fires, and loot stores as a show of international goodwill. And to help that happen, we're more than willing to donate funds to pay for their one-way flight tickets. Heck, we'll even throw in a few extra bucks so they can buy those little bottles of booze on the airline so they can show up at the ceremony with teeny-tiny molotov cocktails.

But despite all of the rotten news lately (and we haven't even scratched the surface here), there is at least one legitimate reason for all of us to celebrate...

According to White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki, masks aren't needed when celebrating

Pulp Nonfiction

Granted, if you hide it in your butt you'll be Walken funny...

So this is where we are now. Big tech companies are making conservative voices disappear, Democrats in Washington are advocating for combat-trained military personnel to go after Trump supporters, and some guy who didn't like Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election is now in jail - and may get ten years in the slammer - for posting memes.

All of which makes it possible that this blog and its progenitor might just disappear at any moment, along with your erstwhile host. We hope that it isn't likely, but there's no way we can definitively say that it's impossible now that we're all living under de facto Democrat martial law and the codification of Thought Police.

Which is why we've backed up everything and want to share it with you, right here, right now - so there's at least a chance that an accurate (and funny!) historical record can survive whatever fresh Hell we're in for.

To get a lovely PDF file of all of the "Hope n' Change" blog, just click this link and the file will download. Note: it's about 500 MB, so it may take take awhile. Hey, eight years of cartoons and commentary takes a lot of space!

To get an all-encompassing PDF file of "Stilton's Place," just click this link and the file will download (about 350 MB).

The PDFs, containing thousands of pages and cartoons, should work on any computer system and are fun to read, fun to copy, and fun to share with as many people as possible. We'll note, however, that the formatting is sometimes a bit odd. It's our intent to clean things up and also make smaller volumes - but with the clock potentially ticking, it seemed like a good idea to get these versions out as soon as possible, rough edges and all.

This also seems like a good time to remind everyone to get on the mailing list (just click the box in the left column) so we can stay in touch in case the First Amendment goes up in flames (it's already smoldering).

And we should emphasize that there's no reason you have to put these archives on a USB drive that is hidden in your ass, but if you do, there's a good chance that it will never be discovered by the New Gestapo. Unless you're searched by Pete Buttigieg.

UPDATE: The second link has been updated because of a completely non-suspicious problem.