"Climb It" Change?

Kamala Harris moved several steps closer to the Oval Office on Friday, when Joe "Watch This!" Biden failed to negotiate several steps on his way up to Air Force One.

Biden stumbled three times before making it to the top, which we wouldn't normally make fun of if it weren't for the fact that Joe prides himself on running up steep inclines, along with the lamest White House excuse ever: "It was windy."

If that excuse sticks, we expect to be hearing it a lot in future White House briefings...

Q: How do you account for the tens of thousands of illegals coming across our border?
A: It was windy.

Q: How did the Covid Relief package get blown up into funding every single Progressive wish?
A: It was windy.

Q: Why did wind power fail in Texas a few weeks ago even though it was windy?
A: Racism.

FROM THE VAULT:  SOCIALIST CLIMBER (Aug 10, 2016)

A recently released photo of Hillary Clinton struggling to climb a small flight of steps is raising doubt about the candidate's health - let alone her name having anything to do with actual mountain climber Sir Edmund Hillary.

Forget Sherpas - Hillary apparently now needs an entire expeditionary force of Secret Service agents just to haul her uphill, while a mysteriously ever-present special aide stands ready to give her an emergency injection of the anti-seizure medication Diazepam in case she suddenly starts foaming at the mouth and keels over from another "short circuit."

While we don't know how serious her conditions are, we do know that we've never heard sufficiently believable explanations for her previous blackouts, the severe head injury which Bill Clinton said took her "six months of hard work" to come back from, the blood clot near her brain, her thick prism glasses, and Huma Abedin's emailed warning to colleagues to handle Hillary delicately as "she's often confused."

Hillary's physical health is a genuinely legitimate issue in this election, and voters need to demand answers. Oh sure, last year she released the results of her pap smear - so we can only imagine that whatever medical condition she's hiding inside her skull must be even more terrifying.

PUPDATE

Mom always dressed US funny on school picture day, too.

Ladybug is doing fine as she recovers from her surgery, and is already up and walking on her retooled leg (with careful supervision). We've erected a 6 x 6 fenced "safe space" for her in the den and she likes it just fine. Penny, the Official Dog of Hope n' Change, is also doing fine albeit showing signs of a little jealousy at all the attention being given to her junior in command.

But she's in for a special treat today: there's a newly-empty Clan MacGregor bottle which (once rinsed and with a marble dropped in) is her favorite toy in the universe.

Quip While You're Ahead

Fortunately, Hunter Biden was unharmed

There's definitely not anything funny about the tragic shootings in Atlanta which left eight people dead. But as inappropriate as it would be to joke about such an event, it's just as inappropriate for those on the Left to trivialize the deaths by turning them into political fodder. 

Because the victims were largely Asian, this is being portrayed as a possible hate crime despite there being no evidence to support that conclusion (including the expressed motive of the shooter). The shootings are also being tied to a "wave" of hate-inspired attacks on Asians which A) are blamed on Donald Trump for noticing that Covid-19 came from China, B) are blamed on white supremacists and, C) are mostly committed by black men who are, by definition, incapable of bigotry.

Similarly, we think vice-president Kamala Harris was wrong to open an international meeting by citing the shootings as evidence that our nation is characterised by racism and violence. Would she have brought this up at all had the shooter been black? Or, had the Atlanta incident never happened, would she have started the conference with a serious discussion of the ever-growing mountain of shooting victims in Chicago?

The Atlanta tragedy, committed by an individual with clear mental problems, should not be misused nor mischaracterized for anyone's political agenda. Especially by Ms. Harris who, having started in a similar line of work, should have more sympathy for the victims.

AND ON A PERSONAL NOTE...

This cartoon represents a little slice of life (no pun intended) for the Jarlsberg household today (Thursday). The vicious face-eating killer pitbull (codename: Ladybug) who helps guard our estate had to have significant corrective surgery for a knee-related problem, and so there was hand-wringing aplenty as we awaited word that the anesthesia and procedure had gone as intended. And it did!

Ladybug (who also answers to the names Bug, Bitty Bug, Bitter Bug, Bitters, Buglas, and Bugger) will now start an 8-12 week program of home rehabilitation and extreme pampering. 

Simultaneously, we'll be getting a personal lesson in humility by lifting, carrying, and steering her every single time she needs to go to the bathroom. But it could be worse - just think of the poor bastards who have to do that for Joe Biden.

UPDATE: DOG'S LIFE

Some folks were concerned that I hadn't mentioned Penny, the Official Dog of Hope n' Change. I'm happy to report that she's just fine and is currently on her very best behavior so that she, unlike Bug, won't end up looking like she just washed ashore in a life preserver.

Bug is already doing some limited walking (all per doctor's instructions) and is in good-ish spirits with a healthy appetite. Plus, she's at very little risk of drowning anytime soon.

Admission Accomplished

In a classic example of being "too little, too late," the Washington Post ("Truth Dies in the Darkness With a Pillow Over Its Screaming Face") has printed an eensy-weensy little "correction" relating to a colossal lie they spread about former President Donald Trump.

The paper had previously reported that in a phone call to Georgia's top elections investigator, Trump ordered the person to "find the fraud," which the Washington Post implied meant "invent some fraud." The paper also said that Trump told the official that she would be a "national hero" if she gave him his way. And once the Washington Post had reported this story, every other mainstream media source jumped on the bandwagon, appalled (but not surprised) by Trump's underhanded attempt to screw with election results.

Only it was all a lie. 

A recording of the actual call has been made public, forcing the Washington Post to admit that Trump only "urged the investigator to scrutinize the ballots from Fulton County, Georgia, asserting that she would find dishonesty there" and that she had "the most important job in the country right now." The alleged quotes previously attributed to Trump were works of (im)pure fiction obtained from an "unnamed source." Which is a funny thing for the Washington Post to call its ass.

But what harm can a little made-up news do, really? Well, outside of being frequently cited as factual evidence in President Trump's second impeachment trial.

BONUS: LEPRE-CONNED

Happy St. Patrick's Day to one and all! Let each of us raise a toast to the good Saint today, and ask that he return to drive the snakes from Washington.