Civil Riots Movement

As opposed to caring about endangered magenta leopards

Maxine Waters has traveled to Minnesota to help make sure that peace doesn't accidentally break out after a jury decides the fate of Derek Chauvin. And because we believe fervently in journalistic integrity, we'll admit that she didn't call for more "rioting, looting, and burning" but rather said that if Chauvin isn't convicted of murder, the angry mobs "gotta stay in the streets" and "get more confrontational." 

Presumably by rioting, looting, and burning.

All of which is language way more inflammatory than anything Donald Trump got impeached for using following the genuinely "mostly peaceful" protest (aka "The Insurrection") in Washington DC on January 6th. But will Waters pay a political (or criminal) price after street violence erupts no matter what the jury decides? 

Of course not. Because "racial equity" says that it's only fair that Waters' (and other black hate-mongers) finally get their turn to incite lynch mobs.

BONUS: PACK MAN

Fried Day Follies

We're letting the cartoon do the talking today because we're honked off on too many fronts to concentrate on just one of them. Plus, we're a bit burned out from finally completing our tax calculations for the wretched year of 2020 and (we pause to choke back bitter tears) writing a check to Uncle Joe.

It would be indiscreet to say how much that check was for, but after having done some quick research online, we can confidently say our income tax this year could have paid for two fully-loaded 2021 Toyota Camrys. And who knows, maybe Biden will do just that with the money - after all, he could use two cars to house about 97 more foil-wrapped children whose parents abandoned them at our southern border. 

FROM THE VAULT

Cheap Shot

Remember when characterizing entire groups of people with broad, unflattering stereotypes was considered unacceptable? Apparently the Biden administration doesn't, as evidenced by a recent Jen Psaki press briefing in which she said that the White House was trying to push their vaccine message to white conservatives by advertising on "The Deadliest Catch" (essentially a fishing show) and making outreach via Nascar and country music. 

While not specifically referenced, we assume taxpayer-funded pro-vaccination ads are also being put on confederate flags and packages of chewing tobacco, while bumper stickers ("White Trash Matters - Get The Shot") are being handed out in trailer parks.

To be clear, Stilton's Place is in favor of the vaccinations (albeit not enthusiastically). So we'd like to give Jen Psaki a little advice: rather than assume that white conservatives are all inbred hillbillies who are just too dumb or obstinate to get vaccinated, why not work on your actual messaging?

Because it's just possible that some people are resistant to the vaccine push because it's coming from people whose torrent of lies puts Niagara Falls to shame. And for that matter, it's coming from people who clearly hate white conservatives and have consistently acted against their interests. 

Or maybe it's because the Biden administration hasn't really made it clear what we can do when vaccinated that we can't do while unvaccinated? Can we gather in groups? Can we take off our masks? Can we put rusting wrecked cars on cement blocks in our front lawns and throw beer bottles into the crabgrass and then shoot at them like before the pandemic?

There could be some additional foot-dragging on getting The Shot owing to reputable stories about Covid-19 variants "breaking through" the Pfizer vaccine (although current efficacy is still high), and little "oopsies" like the discovery that the AstraZeneca vaccine can sometimes cause a potentially fatal blood clotting disorder. But, you know, only rarely. 

But really, Jen, all of these considerations can be boiled down to just one salient point: the Biden administration has no credibility among white conservatives. None. So quit throwing our hard-earned money at TV commercials which run during professional wrestling and "Beverly Hillbillies" re-runs. Instead, try giving us yokels some straight truth or, better still, just shut up.