Slowly But Unsurely

In the movie "The Jerk," Steve Martin's character Navin Johnson begins a new life by standing in front of the family shack and holding his thumb out for a ride. Hours later, standing in the dark, he's in the same place when a truck finally stops for him.

"How far are you going?!" he eagerly asks.
"To the end of the fence," the tobacco-chewing local says.
"OKAY!" says Navin as he loads in his luggage, travels 10 feet to the end of the fence, gets out, thanks the bemused driver, and raises his thumb once more.

I'm sharing this because I feel like I'm having a Navin Johnson moment. Sunday marks the first anniversary of Kathy's death and, when it comes to making progress on my "grief journey," I've gotten no farther than the end of the fence.

Not for lack of trying. My not-busy-enough life these days includes a variety of self-help tools and activities. All of which have some value, but most of which lack the social interaction that I suspect would offer the most healing. In other words, countering death with more life.

Despite my puckish sense of humor and my rakish good looks (Santa Claus looks rakish, right?) I simply don't have a big community of friends to spend time with. I'm trying to find activities that will change that, but I'm an old introvert and deathly shy. I recently got a one-year membership to the local Seniors Center and I'm sure it's a fine place, but looking at their activity calendar I found potential adventures like "bingo day" and "scrabble day", and I'd like to be doing something a bit more vital than that. Although if liquor can be smuggled in there's at least a potential for some fun.

Some folks have said, "you're a writer and you're funny - why not write a book on grief?" And the answer is pretty much the same as why I'm not writing books on losing weight, making an Internet fortune, or picking up women: because I suck at all of those things.

About the closest thing to wisdom I'd have to offer again references a joke. A blond goes to the doctor and says that she's in terrible pain. He asks "what hurts," and she winces in pain as she touches her ankle, her hip, her chin, her knee, and her elbow. "Ah," says the doctor, "you have a broken finger."

To me, grief is that broken finger. It's just one thing, but it seems to make everything hurt. And just as the blond should try using her other hand for a while, so too is it important for me to interact with the world by exploring it with something other than my grief. But it's hard and is a slow skill to learn.

What has helped me is my ongoing connection to Kathy. I keep her picture next to my computer and throughout the day I'll look to her and get a quick pick-me-up hit of love and understanding. A tangible feeling that although we're not together in the same way as before, we're still together. I can't explain it but I'm grateful for it.

Daughter J and I have no specific plans to commemorate this anniversary, though it's possible we'll do some much-needed housecleaning and maybe plant some flowers. Those are things that Kathy would not only approve of, but she would point out "well, you didn't have to wait until now!"

And on that day, I'll also make a toast to all of you (using the "good stuff"), who have done so much to sustain me throughout this first year. Your friendship, honesty, patience, and support mean more to me than you can know.

At least we were flashy dressers

Brightest Star in the Cancellation

Fans of the comic strip "Dilbert" may be distressed to find out that the wildly popular cartoon is being dropped by pretty much every virtue-signaling newspaper in America because of an alleged "racist tirade" by series creator Scott Adams.

Did he say the things he's accused of saying? Yes. Was it a "racist tirade?" No.

In a much-too-tiny nutshell, Adams reported on a recent Rasmussen poll in which 53% of black respondents agreed with the statement that "it's okay to be white." Meaning nearly half of the respondents either didn't think that or were unwilling to express their opinion. Considering that degree of anti-white hostility, Adams sarcastically said black people en masse (not individuals) are a "hate group" that white people should cautiously avoid.

He clearly stated that every person, regardless of skin color, should be respected, happily interacted with personally and professionally, and enjoy all of the freedoms and opportunities our nation has to offer. But based on the poll, Adams said that the only white person moving into a black neighborhood would be making a problematic choice. Adams has encouraged white journalists who have chosen to live in black neighborhoods to cast stones at him. The others can choke on their own self-righteous hypocrisy.

Adams is, in my opinion, a genius who thinks on multiple levels, most of them significantly above the mainstream mentality. I pay a monthly fee to support his podcasts on Locals.com and it's not unusual for his live stream to be the only human voice I hear on any given day (bonus: his takes on the news are frequently humorous, unexpected, and brilliant). So I can confidently say that he is not a racist, that his remarks - while knowingly inflammatory - were well-reasoned and not a tirade and, as usual, the liberal media has quite deliberately mischaracterized everything.

Mind you, to the frustration of his critics Adams is neither apologetic nor even unhappy about the brouhaha, and quite possibly lit this fuse on purpose in order to force a more honest discussion of racism in this country (Elon Musk has already tweeted support for Adams). The man thinks big and, frankly, no one else was giving the issue more than lip service including the many "news" outlets now castigating him. So maybe now we'll finally have a real conversation.

I don't have the energy or mental acuity to get into all the details, so my primary purpose today is simply to tell anyone who's heard that "the Dilbert guy is a horrible racist who hates black people" that it's a heinous lie. Scott Adams said things that woke culture has decreed You Must Not Say, but that doesn't make him either racist or wrong.

You can see and hear his original remarks, in context, in this Youtube video and get a much more detailed explanation in this lengthy (and fascinating)  interview with black podcast host Hotep Jesus. And no, I didn't know there was a guy named Hotep Jesus out there until now, but I'm glad I've discovered him.

Inflation Fighters

Yes, it's Presidents Day again. A day when there is no mail delivery because no one should try walking to their mailbox while as drunk as they have every reason to be today.

Of course, the cartoon above in no way represents any wishful fantasy on our part. Rather, it's a gentle josh about the fact that Biden completely ignored a Chinese spy balloon until it had completed its mission, but has now ordered full-scale attacks on balloons that appear to be totally harmless.

As a case in point, it now seems likely that Biden spent over one million dollars to shoot down a $12 balloon from a hobby shop that had been launched by the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade. A group whose terrorist threat assessment puts them several thousand notches lower than Amish barnraisers.

Still, a holiday is a holiday and Stilton's Place encourages everyone to celebrate and honor our current president by acting exactly like him today: get lost in a large building, forget who your wife is, do something racist, lie blatantly, mumble unintelligibly, and finish the festive day with ice cream and a sponge bath.

FROM THE VAULT: TRY THE CROW

Seriously, isn't this the best thing about Presidents Day?