Brushing the Dog

Okay, we give up. We wanted to write a nice post making fun of the most recent political idiocy, but we just can't today. And why? Because Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) is currently at the veterinarian's office getting her teeth cleaned, and we're on pins and needles waiting to find out that she's come through the trauma and anesthesia okay. After which, we'll probably self-administer a little personal anesthesia to calm our nerves.

Penny's predecessor, Maggie, thoroughly enjoyed having her teeth brushed - but Penny has never wanted any part of it. We've tried chicken flavored toothpaste, beef flavor, and peanut butter flavor (which was invented by George Washington Carver's dog) but Penny found none of them acceptable. Which is especially surprising considering the degree to which she enjoys Texas Yard Jerky, which is her own sun-baked poop. Yum!

Try as we might, we just can't focus on anything today other than nibbling our fingernails and having sweat bead on our brow while waiting for the phone call that we can finally bring our gleaming-toothed pooch home to safety.

She'll no doubt be wobbly for awhile, and will sporadically show her opinion of the days events by vomiting on our expensive new area rugs. Which, in fairness, is probably what we would have done anyway if really paying attention to the news.

Yeah, we've got a one-track mind today...

BONUS: THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

The same look AOC had in her economics classes.

Penny is finally home (after seven hours!) from her trying day, and has decided that holding down the sofa for 24 hours or so is her best course of action. By tomorrow, she should be up and around again, and waiting to chase empty Clan MacGregor bottles around the backyard.

A little something we call Making Afternoons Great Again.

Ruth or Consequences?

Okay, we absolutely, genuinely wish no ill on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and hope that she's doing well...but we do wish that her handlers could give us some concrete proof that she's still got her marbles. And a pulse.

Cynics that we are, we didn't find ourselves entirely reassured by a recent article which informed us that Ginsburg had just celebrated her 86th birthday and that the perky pixie of jurisprudence was "all smiles" as she cavorted around town. Especially since this is the photo they used to prove her vim, vigor, and vitality...

Wow, she looks great! Unless that's, oh, literally anyone else in the entire world who wears glasses. Or perhaps a small child holding a Ginsburg balloon. Or Ruth being carried to a waiting hearse...we have no freaking idea.

For that matter, we don't even really know if this is actually a photo or a painting by someone trying to rip off the impressionistic "colored dots" style of Georges Seurat.

In any event, we wish Justice Ginsburg a "happy birthday" and hope that she gets well - and gets retired - as soon as possible.

Luck of the I Wish

Okay, we may be a day late to the party but we couldn't ignore St. Paddy's Day entirely. After all, our paternal grandfather was 100% Irish, straight from County Cork. So our heart beats a little faster on March 17th, which we choose to think of as proud traditionalism rather than troubling and potentially deadly arrhythmia.

But turning serious for a moment, our heart genuinely does ache over the senseless and appalling massacre which took place in New Zealand, and was executed by a madman who played the whole thing as a social media event, including live-streaming murders and writing a lengthy, baffling, and self-contradicting manifesto designed to stoke argument, anger, and division. Let us be very, very clear about something: this piece of human garbage killed innocent people specifically to get his sick views noticed and talked about. Which is why we're not doing it and never will.  Screw this lunatic, and anyone who would use his acts for political leverage. Our hearts are with the people of Christchurch, New Zealand. All the people.

But to lighten today's post a bit, let's take a look at what happened when Chelsea Clinton tangled with protesters at an NYU vigil for the New Zealand victims...

You don't need a Hubbell telescope to notice she's growing into her real father's bottom lip...

In essence, an anti-Israeli protester accused Chelsea's tweet (in which she suggested that a Congresswoman's blatant anti-semitism wasn't a good thing) of triggering the Islamaphobic massacre in New Zealand. This immediately opens several important questions:

• Are tweets really that frigging important? To anyone?
• Does the radical left really think that anti-semitism is a winning play going into 2020 elections?
• Why the hell is a 39 year old woman hanging around vigils on a college campus instead of staying home caring for her kids, her private servers, and her secret bank accounts?

Frankly, we enjoy watching the Left devour its own, so really have no problem with this stupid story. Or, for that matter, this stupid story...

"I was only suggesting that she share her wealth."