Nyuk, Nyuk - Who's There?

It's now all but certain that the SARS-CoV-2 virus which causes COVID-19 did not originate in nature, but rather escaped from a laboratory doing nightmarishly dangerous experiments in Wuhan (Chinese for "Whoops!").

If you want the whole story (and you should!), we recommend going to this link for a detailed, accurate, and fascinating 40-minute presentation about how this happened and why it's almost impossible that the civilization-busting virus originated anywhere else.

In the report, you'll learn about the Wuhan lab's experiments designed to produce "gain of function" in bat coronaviruses. Which is to say, enhancing the qualities they already have (infectivity and lethality) and giving them new qualities they didn't previously have (jumping to humans). This is the well-documented research the lab was doing at exactly the same time SARS-CoV-2, by wild coincidence, allegedly developed spontaneously all by itself in a way never previously seen in nature, in a wet market just 300 yards from the lab's front door. Or more likely, the back door.

Granted, this new information doesn't really change much other than to confirm that the Chinese government, with their secrecy and lies, screwed the world in much the same way a toothless hillbilly psycho corn-holed a squealing Ned Beatty in "Deliverance." And of course, the information also gives us a new empathy for all of those angry, torch-wielding peasants in Frankenstein movies who knew that there were some things Man was not meant to tamper with.

But this is our reality now and, as our good friend Johnny Optimism reminds us, life goes on...

FROM THE VAULT (BY POPULAR REQUEST)...

Shop And Awe

Just to be clear, here at Stilton's Place we do care about the latest developments in coronavirus news, the perfidy of those who committed injustice against Michael Flynn, Donald Trump, and the American people, and the #MeToo Democrats who are letting Joe Biden off the hook because "it's okay to stick your fingers in as long as it's not up to your elbow."

But frankly, it's all a bit overwhelming what with the world being broken and all, which is why we're paying yet another visit to the bargain-packed wonderland that is Spensive Gifts...

Have a fun and safe weekend (assuming those aren't mutually incompatible)! And we'll see you in the comments section to discuss current events or anything else you like!

UPDATE: A DIFFERENT SLANT ON THINGS

A number of readers have expressed appreciation for the inscrutable Chinese Insult Mugs, which reminded me of this lovely graphic I received from my father. "The secret of wisdom," he said at the time, "is to look at the things the right way." So give that a try... 

Quite the Item

Some businesses in America are finally opening up, giving ordinary glove-wearing mask-wielding, Purell-scented citizens the ability to shop in only a mild state of terror. Personally, we're going to give it a little more time (we're old, have underlying health issues, and have the kind of personality that makes medical personnel feel so-so about saving you).

Fortunately for the homebound, there is still pleasure to be found in shopping the way we did before the Internet: reclining in an overstuffed La-Z-Boy with a calming adult beverage and another odd edition of Spensive Gifts...

ALSO IN THE NEWS: THE GREENS PARTY CANDIDATE

Yesterday Joe Biden finally received Hillary Clinton's endorsement for President of the United States, surprising a number of Washington insiders who thought she would have had him killed by now.

Apparently the former First Lady's endorsement was a direct result of a long conversation with husband Bill Clinton, who pointed out that Hillary was obliged to support any Democrat who is a member in good standing of Washington's "Stinky Pinky Club," over which Slick Willy presides.

Biden himself has not issued an official statement, but one is expected to be forthcoming as soon as he can be lured out from his pillow fort with a plate of warm cookies.