Fahrenheit 365

Unsurprisingly, I won't be doing my annual "year in review" for the blog this year. I haven't paid close attention to the news (although you didn't need to pay close attention to be aware of what a colossal fustercluck it was and is) and you sure as heck don't need to hear another recounting of my personal year.

I don't have much in the way of plans for New Year's Eve other than to go to my backyard at midnight, set fire to the 2022 calendar, and then create a cloud of urine-scented steam as I forcefully (and quite personally) extinguish the embers.

But hey, 2023 will be a brand new year! A tabula rasa! A Stayfree-fresh new beginning! And in that spirit, I heartily and sincerely wish you all the Least Painful New Year possible.

Christmas 2022

Just in the Saint Nick of Time (Free Book #2!)

If it's true that it's better to give than receive, that laughter is the best medicine, and that the best things in life are free, I'm knocking it out of the park by giving away the ebook version of Johnny Optimism's newly-released book "Home for the Horrid Days."

For three days only (Friday 12/16 - Sunday 12/18) you can download the book at this link to read on any computer, tablet, or phone using a free Kindle Reader app available here. 

Note: before ordering, be sure the price shows as free (and not just "Read for Free" with Kindle Unlimited)! Instead, you want to buy the book for $0.00.

Amazingly, reading a cartoon book on a smartphone is a perfectly pleasant experience because I fiddled around with the book's code to enable an "easy reading" mode: just turn your device sideways, tap on any page, and you'll suddenly see just one cartoon at a time at a size that won't make you go blind! Tap on the right to go to the next cartoon, or tap on the left to go backward.

There's also a beautiful paperback edition of this Holiday collection available for a ridiculous $3.59 with free Prime shipping. That means you're just a mouse-click away from being able to send a wonderful (and memorable) gift to family and friends for about the price of a big Hallmark card with glitter on it. And frankly, the recipients won't get as much quality bathroom reading time out of a Hallmark card, nor will they accidentally sprinkle glitter on their private regions. A phrase that I may turn into a Christmas song at some point.

Please feel free to share this link to the free Kindle book with family, friends, on social media, or with whoever is in the hospital bed next to yours. But remember to tell them to act fast, because the ebook is only free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (12/16-12/18).

A Special Favor: after downloading the book, I'd really appreciate any reviews you'd care to post on Amazon. Amazon promotes (or demotes) books based on their popularity and reviews, so it really makes a huge difference. And reviews can be short and sweet - just a sentence or two! But please don't mention politics in your reviews - Johnny's got enough problems already!