Monday, May 8, 2017

Fresh Earwigs

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, whoopsy baby, oomph

One of the primary differences between Hope n' Change Cartoons and Stilton's Place is that we no longer feel compelled to visit the subject of politics with every post - in part because we're not feeling the day to day assault from the Obama administration anymore, and not really looking to go out of our way to find fresh sources of stress.

Which is why you're getting a nice, fresh Earwigs cartoon today  - which hopefully gives you a fun start to your Monday, while freeing up our time to work on purging our home of superfluous bric-a-brac before starting some pretty major renovations soon. Not that we'll be doing the work, mind you. We'll just be signing the checks and weeping the bitter salt tears.

Part of the purge is finally converting about a cubic yard of old VHS videotapes to digital format. For those of us having sensitive dispositions, it can be a very emotional experience to see some of those decades-old images again. In part because they frequently leave me wondering "why the heck did I think I would want to ever see this again in my doddering old age?!"

But then something many years old will pop up, putting a smile on my face and making the whole process worthwhile.

I'm referring, of course, to a shot of scotch.

34 comments:

Pete (Detroit) said...

When my Mom's younger brother died (suddenly, on the street, in San Francisco, some years ago)I inherited three (or four) medium sized boxes of video tapes - all of Star Trek, Original series. I REALLY need to get them transferred before them degrade.

In Re the Earwig - I'm all for the invisible turkey - especially if it's full flavor, yet calorie free...

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Dolly Parton any day!!!

Mike aka Proof said...

...and beer for my horses!

REM1875 said...

Just turn your head and cough......

Granny said...

Puh-leeze will you dance with me?

Rod said...

OK, that's enough drama, Man of Steel. Just open the pickles.

Fish Out of Water said...

"... is that we no longer feel compelled to visit the subject of politics with every post - in part because we're not feeling the day to day assault from the Obama administration anymore,.."

Hmmm. the Worst Electoral Mistake since the Peanut Farmer from Plains, Ga, getting another totally undeserved award and unlike other ex-POTUIS, refuses to go quietly into the political night and .. knit? Or the continued antics of the Amoral, Pathological, Serial Liar, Murderess and Two-time Loser, who just won't take a hint and go away?

Boligat said...

Showing off with your air guitar, I see.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fish Out of Water- Mind you, I'm not exactly living in "Happily Ever After" land. Barry and the Lefties still drive me nuts all the time. But while he was still president, every day seemed to bring new "what fresh Hell is this?" moments.

Also, for the sake of creating humor it's important to have a pivot point in a news story: a word, phrase, image or deed which can center the piece. Some days it seems like a lot is simmering, but nothing is on full boil. Those are the days that I'm now somewhat more willing to just have a little fun here on the site with the non-political stuff.

And on a final note, Barry will never go away. It's not in his nature.

bill54 said...

Just thank God it's not at full boil. That's when Congress gets us all into hotter water! And I love your earwigs today. "Getting more oomph out of the woodwinds." Ha! (I take Dolly a lot more seriously than you do. heh.)

Dave said...

Having a dose of politics every day is like having a chocolate malt for every meal, every day, every month, every year. Not long and you welcome something else. I do miss TV from the days of the original Star Trek. It was 90% clean, humor was not based on obscene language, actors and actresses had moral and ethical characters to portray, and plots were usually based on "good triumphs over evil." News programs were delivered by Cronkite, Huntley, Brinkley, Smith, and Sevareid. All trustworthy. Quit watching years ago when TV crawled into the gutter.

Anonymous said...

Just sit back and enjoy your Monday SJ.., you've earned a day off.. I can't believe the stupidity of the French people electing the EU puppet, but en they will have to learn what "Hope nChange" means to them.., like we did over here.. although I'm still at a loss, as to why hussein was re-elected in 2012... oh well.., enjoy your day..
I'm Your Huckleberry Mike

REM1875 said...

Good Dawggie good, good, dawggie -give me the remote...you don't need it.... now please, please let me have it?

American Cowboy said...

Philbert was unfortunately quite crippled, but the good news was he had an excellent tailor.

(Okay, not real PC but the joke that prompted it was funny nearly fifty years ago)

PaBlum said...

Perhaps you should enter the New Yorker Magazine caption contests.

James Daily said...

Speaking of the French, if you were doing your fine cartoons and satire in France, they would certainly reinstate the Guillotine and make you the guest of honor. Meanwhile, you will never run out of subjects even on a slow day. I am thinking all the President Trump (I love writing President Trump)detractors, protestors, MSM liars etc are running short of steam or maybe they figured out that they will never change anyone's mind.
I live the Dolly Parton but he will need longer arms.

porkyspen said...

Fred's "Waist High Jazz Hands" landed him on several sex-offender lists.... but made him very popular in prison.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Even into middle-age, Beasley continues to perfect his groping tachnique...

John the Econ said...

Earwig Caption: Help, I'm stuck in clip art and can't get out.

@Pete (Detroit), you can see the original Star Trek either on broadcast TV or Netflix in HD. I watched them again on Netflix a few years ago and was surprised to see that they redid all of the "space" effects in CGI. Not sure how I feel about that. There was something endearing about the old low-budget effects. It was impressive how well they did spending less on a whole season as they now spend on a single episode.

But what remains are the mostly good stories (there were some stinkers) that delivered their point without beating you over the head like the later series couldn't resist doing.

France: So the French voted for more of the same. The left is taking glee that this is somehow a rebuke of Trump. We'll see how the French feel after a couple more years on the current trajectory. I'm just waiting to see what kind of fascism they're going to end up with; European fascism or Muslim fascism. Knowing the history of the French, I'm betting the latter.

Oh, and as the Democrats in Congress continue in their quest for the Russian election-meddling boogieman, didn't anyone raise an eyebrow at Obama sticking his nose into the French election?

Pete (Detroit) said...

James Daily, they still have it, sort of - just they don't execute anyone any more.
How progressive.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamida_Djandoubi

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@bill54- For what it's worth, I take Dolly quite seriously as an artist. She's a great singer-songwriter. That being said, it's sort of hard to overlook her other gifts.

@Dave- As a writer myself (no, really!) I can tell you that it took a lot more work and talent to write the old "clean" shows and still hit high levels of comedy or drama. And in general, there was more of a societal moral code always expressed. Programs were subtly aspirational rather than a celebration of human failing.

@Huckleberry Mike- I don't understand all the aspects of the French election, but in general I've become convinced that elections (and not just in France) don't necessarily succeed in choosing the best candidate. I believe it has to do with a universal principle of general idiocy and (perceived) self-interest.

@REM1875- Good one!

@American Cowboy- I remember that joke well! As the man lurched down the street, one woman said "Oh, look at that poor man!" and her friend said "Yes, but don't his suit fit nice." (I realize that grammatically it should be "doesn't his suit fit nicely," but I heard it the other way and it's got a better zing to it.)

@PaBlum- I've thought about it, but I have more fun doing it my way.

@James Daily- I would never survive in France, and not just because of the guillotine. And I, too, enjoy writing President Trump (notice that President is now capitalized, which it wasn't for the past 8 years). It makes me think of the movie It's A Wonderful Life: "Teacher says every time you write President Trump, a liberal's head explodes!"

@porkyspen- Fred was put on the jailhouse basketball team owing to his reputation as a great ball-handler.

@Alfonso Bedoya- That's especially funny considering what gravity does to the middle-age recipients of Beasley's groping. (grin)

@John the Econ- Good point; it's almost certainly cheaper to stream the old Star Trek episodes (or buy them in a DVD collection) rather than dubbing from VHS tapes - which won't have great quality anyway.

Regarding France, I'd largely written the country off a long time ago and see no reason to change my mind now. Their Muslim population is breeding like...well...Muslims, and I think the victory of demographics over democracy is now a certainty.

As for "foreign influence" on elections, including Obama stinking his nose (oops - "stinking" was a Freudian slip, but I decided to leave it) into France's business, it's how the entire world works now. Barry poured taxpayer money - quietly - into trying to skew elections in Israel. And you can't get much more "meddling" when it comes to influencing foreign leadership than Hillary Clinton's sneering policy regarding Muammar Gaddafi: "We came, we saw, he died. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Kitty said...

Dave: " News programs were delivered by Cronkite, Huntley, Brinkley, Smith, and Sevareid. All trustworthy. "

Cronkite not so much. He used his trusted platform for a lot of politicking. His voice pronounced our perceived loss in Vietnam, despite our winning. Cronkite turned out to be just another flack for Democrats.

James Daily said...

It is getting ironic is a sense France, Britain, Germany, et al will have no one to pull their chestnuts out of the fire. Those idiots do not understand that they are fighting WW III and too stupid to understand that their enemies are now their next door neighbors. I liked that survey from the other day: the liberals loved and wanted the refugees but none wanted to house them in their house. Typical.

Colby Muenster said...

Love the Earwigs, Stilton! And please no apologies for posting fun stuff rather than political things.

I was driving to work the other day, listening to my favorite radio station that is almost all music from the 60's through 80's. Then it hit me! For many years, I listened to nothing but talk radio; hoping against hope for some news that O'Liar or one of his minions had totally botched and failed at something.... anything! Or maybe news that the Republicans finally stood up to the BS and won. I rarely had anything to cheer about. Now I'm back listening to music and beginning to enjoy life again! I am really, really, REALLY enjoying the hell out of the current dismal state of the liberals, moonbats, and snowflakes having to wear the shoes we all wore for 8 long, months.

French election: No big surprises there. Perhaps another presidential term by a liberal letting in "immigrants" by the thousands, and spending money they don't have will drive them to a "Trump" moment next election. Then again, the whole damn country might be under Sharia law by then, and they can laissez-faire goodbye.

Doug M said...

• Milton shows his grandkids how he an' grandma almost won a bronze in Olympic ice dancing.
• Milton warms up for National Grabass Day.
• Milton explains to Martha why he never playfully grabs 'er boobs anymore.

Paul D Garber said...

Two issues with your earwigs cartoon today. First your cartoon says to pick your own "Cartoon". Obviously, this is a huge whoopsy. It should read chose you own "Cartoon Caption". My other issue with this particular Earwig is the caption that reads all you need to get into heaven is clean hands. That excludes almost all politicians (everyone in the Obama Administration) and most cartoonists (at least those who work in Charcoal). I'm not a purest for Pete's sake, but I must in, in aal silliness, protest these flaws.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Kitty- Sadly, Uncle Walter turned out to have an agenda. He was good at covering space missions, though.

@James Daily- I don't know what the French translation is for "not in my back yard," but it's definitely what Le Liberals are saying.

@Colby Muenster- I'm listening to a lot less talk radio these days. I'm deliberately trying to make some choices in life that will reduce stress - and that one seems almost self-evident.

As for the French, I suppose it's their country to piss away...though I resent the domino effect on what they used to call "western civilization."

@Doug M- Excellent! Unsurprisingly, you're really good at the captions game.

@Paul D Garber- Unless we're seeing two different cartoons, I believe today's says (wait, let me look again) "Choose your favorite caption!" rather than "cartoon." Then again, I'm pretty open to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and the possibility that the cartoon I'm looking at is a particle and the one you're looking at is a wave.

And as far as the "clean hands" punchline goes, I think you're exactly right.

Igor said...

Milton's Flea and Tick powder got rid of his fleas, all right - but his tick is worse than ever!

Stan da Man said...

Igor - +1!

Colby Muenster said...

Speaking of Moonbat Meltdown, I'm almost starting to enjoy Maxine Water's daily dumbassisms! And they said Gerald Ford was a bumbling idiot!

@ Doug M,
The daily rim shot for you! It made me think of the Pelosi's, though. "Paul explains to Nancy why he never playfully grabs 'er boobs anymore."

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Doug M: You look surprisingly like actor Lee Van Cleef....one of my favorite "heavies."
Also enjoyed your captions. As for Stilton's humor: It helps me keep my sanity after having checked today's news. Thanks, Stilton.

John the Econ said...

Hey @Stilton, are you aware that your civil rights are under siege?

TRAVELING TO TEXAS MAY RESULT IN VIOLATION OF CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, ACLU WARNS

"WASHINGTON — The American Civil Liberties Union issued a “travel alert” today informing anyone planning to travel to Texas in the near future to anticipate the possible violation of their constitutional rights when stopped by law enforcement.

The alert comes amid the passing of a Texas law known as SB4. The law gives a green light to police officers in the state to investigate a person’s immigration status during a routine traffic stop, leading to widespread racial profiling, baseless scrutiny, and illegal arrests of citizens and non-citizens alike presumed to be “foreign” based on how they look or sound. The travel alert applies to all travelers to Texas, including U.S. travelers from other states and U.S. citizens. In addition, this alert applies to all encounters with federal, state, county law enforcement including local police and sheriffs.

SB4 requires Texas law enforcement to comply with the federal government’s constitutionally flawed use of detainer requests, which ask local law enforcement to hold people for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), even when they lack the legal authority to do so."


If existing federal law is so "constitutionally flawed", why haven't you successfully challenged it in court at the Federal level?

pdwalker said...

"Whoops Baby" for the win. And in my defense, it only happened once.

The Red Baron said...

First Sean( The Puke) Spicer and now Huckabee-Sanders( Daughter of one of Jim Bakkers phoney cohorts.) I think we're in bigger trouble than we realize.