Wednesday, May 17, 2017

To Serve Americans

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, russia, martians, secrets, terror
And some of us are ESPECIALLY good in taco bowls.
Mainstream media outlets are currently having screaming hissy fits over unsubstantiated reports that Donald Trump, noted lunatic, actually held a meeting with disgusting, potentially world-destroying Russian bastards and told them top secret anti-terror information which has only been widely reported in the world's newspapers since last March.

This action is apparently the opening of the seventh seal, and the immediate cue for impending Armageddon, impeachment, or yet another humorless SNL skit for Alec "Duck Lips" Baldwin.

Owing to the fact that we don't believe anything from the Left-leaning media these days, we find it very hard to get excited about all of this. However, in the interest of at least trying to understand the Liberals' mindset on all of this, we've invented a fun game - and you can play along!

From now on, when you hear a story about Trump and the Russians, substitute the word "Martians." And go ahead and imagine they're really bad ass Martians who want to eat our brains, defile our women, and get their own special restrooms. Now we can have all the terrifying fun the Lefties seem to be enjoying!

Although we shouldn't make light of this very, very serious situation. Is it possible that Trump is babbling state secrets in an irresponsible manner? Hell yes! But is it worse than the way Hillary protected state secrets? Not so much.

Of course, we should take seriously the threat from the actual Russians. It was they, after all, who grabbed the DNC emails and shared them with Wikileaks, causing Hillary to lose the election, right? I mean, even lacking any evidence that it happened, we all KNOW it's the truth because it's been reported so often. But...

Now there's a new wrinkle. It seems that rather than the big bad Russians, the DNC emails may actually have been sent to Wikileaks by a DNC staffer named Seth Rich who turned up mysteriously dead soon after the leaks were made public. Well, maybe not that mysteriously...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, hillary, murder, vince foster, seth rich, wikileaks
Dirty Hillary.
It seems fairly sure that Rich sent over 40,000 emails to Wikileaks - perhaps hoping to head off a presidency by a hopelessly corrupt Clinton crime syndicate. And according to a private investigator, police were told to "stand down" from investigating the murder (described as a "botched burglary" since the gunman had no interest in money or personal belongings).

Is the story true? We have no idea - but it has a LOT more credibility than the accusations being made against Trump. And certainly is more deserving of a special investigation than anything the President has been accused of doing.

21 comments:

REM1875 said...

I think the fact she had already reloaded twice and had fired those and the other 5 rounds into his back and head make the question a rather moot point - but then I could be wrong ......

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

From now on, when you hear a story about Trump and the Russians, celebrate the word "Martians."

Shouldn't that read 'substitute'?

Judi King said...

Why would Trump tell Russia anything that could harm America?
Why would anyone take the left-leaning Snopes fact check on Seth Rich's murder as "fact"?
Shouldn't the media be asking questions like this instead of blabbing their own erroneous opinons?

Just asking.

Fish Out of Water said...

Or instead of Martians, the music that 'kills' aliens , Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call, used in the movie Mars Attacks might be used?

Anonymous said...

So the police were told to "stand down". Wasn't there another time "First Responders" were told to stand down? Benghazi, maybe? Some things involving Hildabeast never change.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Hillary believes it's better to be safe than sorry.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- ARGH!!!! Yes, the correct word should be "substitute" (and I've since fixed it). I'd love to blame auto-correct or something, but the truth is that my aging brain sometimes substitutes (or is that celebrates?) whole inappropriate words for what I meant to say. Color me embarrassed.

@Judi King- I don't think it's hard to believe that Trump might accidentally say something which could cause harm to our country. Unlike his predecessor, whose every utterance intentionally harmed our country.

And Snopes has no investigative staff: just button tappers with a political agenda.

@Fish Out of Water- I once met Slim Whitman and got his autograph. He was one heckuva nice guy.

@Anonymous- I don't know that I believe the "stand down" angle in this case yet, but I don't disbelieve it either. More investigation is called for. And I will never...never...forgive Hillary for Benghazi.

Fred Ciampi said...

Just my two cents' worth but all too often the police are ordered to stand down. Ferguson, Bazerkley, Baltimore, and how many more? One of these days ..................

Boligat said...

@Stilty "And I will never...never...forgive Hillary for Benghazi"

Kinda how I feel about Jane Fonda and Hanoi.

Anonymous said...

Vince Foster, Ron Brown and who knows how many other Clinton victims are spinning in the graves waiting for justice. Maybe they'll receive it now that we apparently have a genuine JUSTICE Department. Then again, probably not.

Geoff King said...

Interesting that Wikileaks offered a $20,000 dollar reward for a conviction in the Seth Rich murder case if he had nothing to do with the leaked emails.

Rod said...

I sure hope a genuine justice department is currently at work on all this. That would explain a lot of the desperate noise & foolishness. And of course Comey had to go; but he's doing OK; he's still alive.

What could blow the top off this? Chuck Schumer suddenly dying of a heart attack(naturally of course), or maybe a helicopter drops a piano on him. Then I'd start watching the news again, substituting Martians <> Russians of course.

Remembering when first saw "Mars Attacks" and learned Slim's music was the miracle weapon: One of the funniest comedy bits ever. The whole movie is hilarious.

Geoff King said...

P.S. Here's the link to the related Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man"

https://youtu.be/K-8BO7aGFdY

James Daily said...

Ah, yes. One of my favorite subjects, Clinton death list or Clinton Body Count.
I only wish my math was strong enough to figure the odds of personally knowing this many people who died not of natural causes. It boggles the mind. I have not personally known of even one person who was murdered. Odd as it seems, I sent some links to a pal with the subject of "Twilight Zone Time again" on Seth Rich. The Clinton's are despicable folks.
However, there is good news. All the money they stole, conned, blackmailed, sold favors and etc, they will not get to spend it. Basically, they will die and it will be passed on so someone else gets the benefit of their thuggery. Chelsea? If I had a dog that dumb, I would have the pound to put it down.

txGreg said...

We seem to be on the same wavelength Stilton... you should probably be afraid. Seeing nothing but today's title (To Serve Americans), my immediate thought was Soylent Green. Different specific reference, but same vicinity. There must be something wrong with you. :)

Colby Muenster said...

I like it! We're talking about liberal's heads exploding in the same post with Martian heads exploding in "Mars Attacks." From this point forward, I'll have that mental image every time a nutball moonbat has an episode of TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). I wonder what Slim Whitman would think, though.

Regarding Russians, why, oh why doesn't Trump bring up Hillary's idiotic "Reset Button" BS every time a libtard mentions his supposed ties with Russia? For that matter, can any libatrd name exactly which Secretary of State is was who sold off 20% of our uranium to the Russians? It sure as hell wasn't a Republican or Trump.

So much ammo, Donald! Use it for God's sake!

CA said...

Judi King asked, "Why would Trump tell Russia anything that could harm America?"

I'd like to know how much then Secretary of State hilarious clitoris got paid to give a large percentage of America's uranium to the Ruskies!

John the Econ said...

Great cartoon today. I literally could hear him saying that.

Is it possible that the media has a massive collective case of Alzheimer's? Barely over a year ago the New York Times was lauding Obama for coordinating with Russia on terrorism. Considering how our intelligence services have been leaking like a sieve over the last 6 months in their ongoing effort to undermine Trump, it's hard to imagine what Trump could possibly have told the Russians that they didn't already know, or had not already read in the New York Times. Either way, I too find it hard to get any more excited over this than Bill & Hillary's interactions with Russia that we know for a fact actually resulted in large sums of cash being deposited in personally controlled bank accounts.

Meanwhile, the media continues to lower itself to the level of tabloids that dish out celebrity gossip based exclusively on "unnamed sources" that echo about their bubble.

As for the fate of Seth Rich, the media's utter lack of curiosity is hardly a surprise. Unless there's an upside to the Progressive agenda, they're not interested in opening another an of worms they know in their souls will take them places they just assume not go.

So in that case, I suggest we just treat Seth Rich as the GOP should have treated Hillary's missing e-mails that were supposedly just about yoga and Chelsea's wedding; as another Clinton Schrödinger's cat episode where the willful lack of any hard evidence allows us to assume the worst, which it probably is. The media's continued lack of interest in any facts of the matter only confirms that Seth was only the latest in a long trail of people involved with the Clintons that died of mysterious circumstances.

Rod said...

I've been laughing to myself all day about this Martian theme. Using Stilt's translation in reverse: if we hear anything on BBC or Fox news, from Rush or Stilt about the Martian [scratch that] the RUSSIAN ambassador blasting a Dove of Peace with a ray gun... we're in deep shit. If that story appears most anywhere else, never mind.

zregime said...

GREAT site. Referred by Don Surber. Love the Monty Python moniker. I shall return...

Rich was apparently still alive when they got him to the hospital. What happened? There are several plausible theories, but of course the MSM is again following the David Burge rule re this story:

Cover it
With a pillow
Until it stops moving

Colby Muenster said...

So... Roger Ailes is gone. I expect the libs will be taking a day off from the usual vandalism and looting to dance in the streets.

Anonymous said...

Even fox News admits they fucked up with the Seth Richards story.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/05/23/statement-on-coverage-seth-rich-murder-investigation.html?ICID=ref_fark

On May 16, a story was posted on the Fox News website on the investigation into the 2016 murder of DNC Staffer Seth Rich. The article was not initially subjected to the high degree of editorial scrutiny we require for all our reporting. Upon appropriate review, the article was found not to meet those standards and has since been removed.