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Friday, January 12, 2018

Book Him!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, obama library, chicago, obama
If you like it, you can keep it.
Taking a note from our Islamic friends, liberals are suddenly stampeding to buy prayer rugs upon which they can eventually kneel in the direction of their new Mecca: The Barack Obama Presidential Library. And considering that it will be in Chicago, kneeling might be a good idea just to help avoid being hit by errant gunfire.

Plans for the great man's edifice complex were recently unveiled, much to the dismay of those with taste or a desire to see $1 billion dollars spent less idiotically.

Architecturally speaking, the main building honors the former president by being completely incomprehensible. A judgment which is especially true considering that much of the building's top will be covered by giant carved letters which, much like the word salads so often presented by the former lecturer-in-chief, don't actually seem to mean anything.

Don't believe us? Click on the image above for a closer look. Personally, the only actual word we could make out is "SMUT" repeated multiple times (check out the top line). Although in fairness, if Obama's library has a section dedicated to smut, this makes perfect sense.

And he just might, because there's one thing which won't be in the Obama Library: actual historic paper documents - theoretically the only reason for building a presidential library in the first place.

Not that there won't still be plenty of keen stuff for visitors to enjoy! A special area of the library will commemorate Barack Obama's important civil rights work (honest) which, as far as we can recall, consisted mostly of denigrating cops and watching approvingly as various American cities burned for no particular reason.

Other actual attractions will include a basketball court, about which we should probably say nothing (though we'll roll our eyes), a yoga studio ("Now bow to the Emperor...lower, lower! Great! Now let's lead from our behinds!"), and a test kitchen where people can learn about preparing nutritious meals the same way Michelle did: using wholesome ingredients plucked fresh from the garden by inner city children, then hand-delivered to a phalanx of taxpayer-funded professional chefs.

While this is all we know about the official plans, unofficially we have a lot of suggestions for things which really need to be on display. For starters, how about the Reverend Jeremiah Wright's chicken roost? And who wouldn't like to get a souvenir picture taken in the VW Van that hosted so many gatherings of Obama's Hawaiian "Choom Gang?"

A replica of radical bomb-maker Bill Ayres' living room, where Barry got his political start, would surely be popular. As would be a replica of the White House bed where the former president slept blissfully with a "Do Not Disturb" sign on his door while our embassy in Benghazi burned.

We'd like to see the styrofoam Greek columns that Obama's roadies carried from stadium to stadium across Europe during his "blame America tour." Or even one shovel that was actually soiled while working on a shovel-ready job. And how about taking a selfie while standing on one of the pallets used to deliver $400 million in ransom money to the terror-spreading mullahs of Iran?

Somewhat less likely is a display of the thousands of Hope n' Change cartoons which accurately charted the former president's two dismal terms in office. However, if we get an invitation we'll not only enthusiastically cooperate, we'll even arrange for Busty Ross to do the ribbon cutting ceremony!

But back to what passes for reality...

Construction work on the billion dollar complex will be directed mainly to minority-owned firms because #BlackBottomLinesMatter. To date no announcement has been made about the racial preference of firms which will subsequently be hired to repair the initial work.

Finally, when the complex opens, there will be a stiff admission charge (on top of a parking charge) for those who want to see the "good parts" of the library (with all funds going to the Obama Foundation). But in an unusual display of beneficence the library's board has decided that ordinary Americans can walk up to the top floor and look out the windows for free. Oh, boy!

Or at least they can if those windows are one helluva lot more transparent than Barack Hussein Obama ever was.

49 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Yeah. I caught all the "smut" instances. The whole thing might just be a subliminal message, or as you noted, an homage to his incomprehensible speeches.

Anonymous said...

Edifice complex? I see what you did there. You ain't right, but that was pretty funny.

Sortahwitte said...

There's a kaaba in Mecca. Is this the western version? Looks like concentric circles of cow shit.

REM1875 said...

Muhamhead is not amused .......I would be .....if weren't paying for it .......

You do know why he was never circumcised don't you???

Cause there just no end to this pr*ck.......

Jim Irre said...

Words fail me.

Anonymous said...

Will there be pictures of Moshelle both befoe and after the sex change surgery?

opsailor said...

I’m looking forward to viewing college transcripts.

dan said...

Reminds me of the guys from 90s duo, Kid N Play. https://goo.gl/VBWQ9M

Fred Ciampi said...

When the sierra klub doesn't want a lumber mill or ski resort built they wait until construction is half completed and then burn it down. Just thought I would mention it. Now I'll wait for the black SUVs to start up my driveway...........

As a second thought, what's the cost of other presidential libraries? Methinks that monies allotted for presidential libraries should be based on said president's accomplishments. In which place $17.22 should about cover one for o'bozo. I have an old outhouse on my property that I'll be glad to donate. It's still full of poo poo, just like him.

Geoff King said...

As if I needed yet another reason never to visit Chicago again.
I'm imagining that the library will have a long entry way adorned with many well-lighted completely empty picture frames representing the stack of sealed documents from Hussain's early life. Missing highlights will be his college transcripts, passport, selective service registration, social security card, and real birth certificate.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that could get me to visit Chicago and this "library" would be the chance to see Busty Ross wielding the scissors... to remove the former president's nuts, if he still has any.

joe jetson said...

The "Admission Fee" to Barry's Bathhouse was ruled by the Supreme Court to be Unconstitutional. However, the Fee IS Constitutional if considered a "Tax".

Boligat said...

I did not see a crescent moon anywhere on that "structure".

TrickyRicky said...

Why has everyone got their panties in a wad? I'm sure that a huge chunk of the funding will be coming from the missing Solyndra monies.

Cridge said...

It reminds me of the old Hollywood version of the "Tower of Babel".

Judi King said...

Is this for real? The first thing that came to my mind was an ancient siege tower. That would be appropriate as this country was under siege for 8 years.

Anonymous said...

Lets not forget about the huge taxpayer-funded parking area for all the automobiles eliminated during Cash-For-clunkers.  Wait...maybe that tribute is being cycled through one of the numerous mini theater vestibules scattered throughout the complex.

Remember...internet and Wi-Fi is proudly (and not too, too expensively) provided by a phyanx of I.T. professionals who are in no way (directly) tied to Shrillary Clinton.  These consumate professionals have done their part to ensure a good first impression. All of the servers "donated" from some guy's closet somewhere, have been wiped clean to ensure not a single speck of dust can ever be found anywhere (no matter how hard James Comey looks).

If we're all really lucky, maybe his original birth certificate will be found proudly displayed somewhere within. I'm not hopeful, but if the guys forging it in the basement print shop can get it finished in time...

Anonymous said...

Or, perhaps the entire project should be scrapped ( certainly at taxpayer expense) in favor of one based on one developed on a Star Wars theme.  That way, O'Bumblehead can alternately roam the magnificent and vast edifice as Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader depending upon his mood (and ticket sales).  He can do some seriously important work that way, including deciding which parking spots belong to whom, and what parts of the complex will be shut down next October first when the next budget isn't passed on time.  Hopefully, not one single illegal alien (oops...I meant "undocumented worker) was "used" in the creation of this monstrosity!

Bruce Bleu said...

First of all, lamont was not sleeping blissfully during Benghazi, he was in the White House basement playing "hide the chorizo" with Reggie Love.
Secondly, a "stiff admission" from one of his mooselim brothers was what lamont was hoping for every time he bowed to a raghead.
Just trying to enhance your "bastion of truth" here.

NaCly Dog said...

pbho was transparent. Many just did not want to see. Plenty of people knew before his first election in 2009.

The worst & most anti-American President ever.

Shonkin said...

True fascist architecture, a monument to an ego the size of Jupiter. Mussolini would be proud.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I'm in the middle of the book, "The Worst President in History," by Matt Margolis and Mark Noonan. I thought the scandals listed would cause my already high blood pressure to break my sphygomanometer's mercury-filled glass tube (it didn't), but after seeing that piece of s**t library building, the sphygmo just shattered, and the cuff wasn't even on my arm.

Actually, the building reminds me of one of the outrageous hats worn by one of the members of "Beach Blanket Babylon," or something my mother would have worn in 1947.

American Cowboy said...

@ Fred Ciampi...

My thoughts took a similar turn. I thought that ugly building would make a easy to locate target for the next 9-11 style plane "accident".

Then I remembered that those planes were flown by Øbammy's brothers-in-arms, so no chance of that dream ever happening.

Gee M said...

I am definitely going to see the Pavillion Of 57 States at Obongoland, I understand that will be supervised by Uncle Joe Biden after he finishes the Uncle Joe Comedy Room (2 shows a day starring Uncle Joe himself); and how could I miss the Special Mortuarial Exhibit of Obongo's Corpsemen...I always picture some phalanx of marching uniformed Zombie Undead chanting "Hope and Change","Hope and Change" ...
I wonder how awful the snack bar is gonna be? Raw Broccoli Poorboys and Odwallah Juice unsold from health food stores around the country? Tuna flavor with Dingleberries, most likely.
How can it fail?
I'm saving up my spare change I hope to have, what with the tax bill creating higher poverty wages at the WalMart stores that remain open, since I'm sure the admission will be a fair price for the poor people who will undoubtedly flow in large numbers to such a Disneyworld of the East!
Oh, boy! I feel like Clark Griswold approaching WallyWorld after his Odyssian voyage across America...dem rides better be open!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Odd that there are so many letters on the side of that "building". From his speeches, there should only be an image of Elmo saying "This build brought to by the words: me, myself, and I".

And it was far, far more than $400M sent to his countrymen by unmarked plane...

rickn8or said...

I'm sure the construction costs reflect the traditional Chicago "2200" formula; "a grand for me, a grand for you and two hundred for the Mexicans we'll hire to do the work."

Anonymous said...

Not too sure I'd want to stand in front of a window on the top floor anywhere in that part of Chicongo. That spraying glass thing and all.

Don in Oregon said...

Reminds me of a WWII German flak tower.

John the Econ said...

$1 billion dollars? You can almost build a decent professional sports stadium complex for that! And it isn't even "shovel ready". I wonder how many "recovery summers" it will take to build this monstrosity?

But I might go (Mrs. Econ has a thing for visiting presidential libraries) if they have a "beer summit garden". I'm certainly not walking through that thing sober. The 8 years of Obama was sobering enough.

Pretty sure the snack bar will suck. It's modeled after a school cafeteria serving up Michelle's healthy school lunches. A few steps past the kitchen window there's an unusually large garbage receptacle for you to dump your freshly-served lunch into, just like millions of school children did.

And as @Stilton mentions, there will be little reason for actual researchers to spend any time there as it will be relevant-document free.

But seriously, I hope you do send a DVD filled with 8+ years of Hope and Change cartoons, just on principle. And perhaps a couple Obama Sutra hardcovers on consignment in the bookstore.

Stinking Bishop said...

Worse, they have the chutzpah to want to build this thing on the historic Chicago Midway...unsurprising, though, given the immensity of the Great One's ego.

John Holton said...

The words of Percy Bysshe Sheeley come to mind...

'My name is Obamymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'

Shelly said...

Since he so loved the sound of his own voice, I can imagine his speeches being broadcast on a loop throughout the complex. Shudder.

Colby Muenster said...

Totally awesome post and comments today! Not that they aren't EVERY day, but up a couple notches today.

O'Liar's outlandish monument to himself comes as no surprise. A billion bucks is nothing to him (as long as it isn't coming out of HIS pocket). He really is a loathsome excuse for a human being; this so called "library" is striking proof. This isn't a G*d damn library, it's O'liar's version of Mt. Rushmore.

I studied the strange symbols in the photo, and did a bit of research. Turns out, it is a rare Malaysian form of Norse runes. Roughly translated, it repeatedly says, "I sure snookered you, whitey!" then, the very last line at the bottom is a footnote saying to use a tooth whistle when pronouncing the letter "S."

Gee M said...

I nominate this for the Library Theme Music...loop throughout the Public Areas...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rwnn_6JhmY

I actually have 2 versions and they are so funny...also more complete than this surviving YouTube version.
They came out when Barry was still Mullah-In-Chief...brave.

Gee M said...


The other hilarious version of Barry's Theme and Biography...not for kiddies.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDvnZiCOPqw&list=PLhgJvbmdnQr9tIXUqkgKBJnafSbicy04s

Hangtown Bill said...

He didn't build that.

Anonymous said...

Mussolini was also a Community Organizer; albeit, on somewhat of a grander scale.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- I'm seriously baffled by those weird letters.

@Anonymous- In fairness, I don't think Barry had an Oedipus complex. After all, his Mom dumped him on his grandparents to raise.

@Sortahwitte- And I'm guessing there will be a call to prayer ("the sweetest sound on Earth" to Barry) from the top of his self-monument.

@REM1875- I believe most of the building will be funded from private donations rather than tax money. Maybe Iran will send Obama back a couple of hundred million dollars...barely a drop compared to what he sent them.

@Jim Irre- Well, clean words pretty much fail me too.

@Anonymous- I'm assuming we'll find that in the Hall of Human Oddities.

@opsailor- And his medical records!

@dan- Now that you mention it, there IS a resemblance...

@Fred Ciampi- I think most presidential libraries are quite expensive, no matter how much the honoree screwed up and/or overspent during his time in office.

@Geoff King- I pretty much wouldn't visit Chicago on a bet at this point. "Come for the Obama Library, Stay Because You're Dead!"

@Anonymous- I think scissors would be overkill. Tweezers, maybe...


Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@joe jetson- And now you have me wondering if he'll find a way to create a mandate forcing people to visit?

@Boligat- I'm pretty sure you'll find a crescent moon in the mosque area.

@TrickyRicky- I really wanted to work Solyndra into the commentary, but it was already running long.

@Cridge- It DOES have a Tower of Babel feel!

@Judi King- Good observation about the nation under siege!

@Anonymous- Actually, the entire exterior of the tower should be done in cars from the "Cash for Clunkers" program. It would make a great statement.

@Bruce Bleu- I've also heard rumors that Barry was on a cocaine binge the night of Benghazi. All we know for sure is that the White House was never willing to say where the hell the bastard was, or what he was doing. Stink, much?

@NaCly Dog- I agree, Barry was entirely transparent to anyone willing to take a good look. I remember after he was first elected, the media which had been carrying him on their shoulders paused (ever so briefly) to ask "hey, who IS this guy?" Those of us who knew his record, the ugliness in his two autobiographies, and who he chose to associate with weren't surprised by the ensuing 8 years.

@Shonkin- I need to look at those mysterious letters on the building again to see if I can find the word "hubris."

@Alfonso Bedoya- Go easy on that blood pressure! Think of relaxing, pleasant things...like Obama's legacy being shredded.

@American Cowboy- I'd never want to see that happen again in America, even here. On the other hand, if a forest fire tanker plane flew over low and released a load of urine...

@Gee M- I imagine the snack bar will be pretty bad. No pork, of course, though you can probably get corn dogs made with real dogs.

@Emmentaler Limburger- I know Barry sent a LOT more money to Iran than the $400 million, but I thought that was the amount actually sent in stacks of cash on palettes via a secret plane flight.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- As soon as I read that the construction would be parceled out based on political/racial consideration, I could just smell the graft that would be taking place.

@Anonymous- Good point. Bulletproof glass seems like a good idea for every window in Chicago.

@Don in Oregon- It does look like a flak tower!

@John the Econ- Wow, I wish I'd thought of the beer summit garden! Well played, sir!

@Stinking Bishop- Apparently a lot of people in Chicago aren't happy about this. They'd been told that the library would bring oodles of money into the local economy, but the site selected is already fully built out (for surrounding properties and businesses).

@John Holton- I looked on Obama's works for 8 years in total despair.

@Shelly- Oh you KNOW Barry's annoying voice will be everywhere. Maybe they shouldn't let people get near the top floor windows after all...some might see it as their fastest way out.

@Colby Muenster- We DO have outstanding comments here today! Can it be that we miss having Barry to kick around? (Answer: Hell no)

@Gee M- I love the musical selections!

@Hangtown Bill- Boom! Great comment!

@Anonymous- The lesson of Mussolini was not lost on Obama. Notice that there are no lamp posts on the property...

Regnad Kcin said...

What a great place to test the blast effect radius of a couple of GBU-43/B MOABs....

Thomas. Crowley said...

It looks like a gay bathhouse.

Geoff King said...

I guess it would have been difficult for Barry to charge the American taxpayers to build his library in his actual birthplace.
The people in Nairobi probably wouldn't have liked it either.

Anonymous said...

In lieu of the edifice being covered in clunkers (maybe the recycled ones should be used to build Trump's wall), there could be a solemn display created to some of those autos...such as the Cadillac Ranch outside Amarillo. Of course the proceeds would go toward paying down Barry's slice of the national debt.

Rod said...

I was still hoping all his crap would end up in a couple of rusty shipping containers in a dead end corner of the Port of Honolulu.

We'll never see it; & I'm not expecting to visit Chicago again either.

Jason Anyone said...

Hey Stilts,

I think this kangaroo follows your blogs.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTexIXvXkAAH-JT.jpg

:-)

Linda McWilliams said...

Wow. Well done, Stilton

Murphy(AZ) said...

Two places I'm never going to go: 1) east of New Mexico without a credible death threat, 2) east of the Mississippi River, ever. You might as well just kill me right here. If I can't go p*ss on the O'Bummer Memorial S*ithouse, it's just not worth the trip.

udaman said...

I thought his library was supposed to be built in Hawaii? What happened? He usually gets his way.