COMMENTS:

TO REACH THE COMMENTS SECTION, JUST CLICK ON THE TITLE OF EACH POST!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Hearts and Foolers

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! We think that on this most special of Hallmark holidays, we should share a specially themed "Earwigs" which we're pretty sure Hallmark wouldn't touch with a ten foot, heart-adorned pole...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change , valentine's day, earwigs, gypsy

BONUS: ROGUES GALLERY

Oh, you just knew we had to share our take on the preposterous new portraits of Barry and Michelle. And we've got to admit that we're having a grand time watching effete Leftists struggling to explain why these alleged works of art are swoon-worthy.

Barry's is hilariously surreal and lacks only a unicorn to properly depict the self-obsessed fantasy world he lived in. Seriously, it practically screams "this man has no contact with reality."

We do, however, like the fact that the vines are already growing over his legs - giving us hope that he will eventually disappear entirely.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, obama, air freshener, portrait
Coming soon to a "choom gang" van near you.
Michelle's portrait is just flat out, laughably hideous and deserves a non-traditional display.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, michelle obama, portrait, refrigerator
Bonus! You can chill your groceries with her cold glare!
Although it wasn't our intent, we actually improved her wretched portrait by adding the colorful crayon illustrations. The actual painting looks like the work of a not-very-talented school kid who still got a C+ for "trying very, very hard."

The portrait is astonishingly amateurish, lifeless, and flat - although we actually agree with the artist's decision to give Michelle's painting no background. After all, what background did we ever get on the woman herself, other than that she had no pride in America until Obama elbowed his way into our national nightmares and, per her laughably self-centered university "thesis," that she just plain doesn't like white folks.

Perhaps it's just the influence of Valentine's Day, but we actually find our hearts warmed by these ghastly portraits...because they're exactly what the subjects deserved.

41 comments:

AmyH said...

One of the 'artists' (I dont remember which but believe it is barack's) has other paintings which has black women holding a large knife in one hand and a white woman's head in the other. Racist much? And he had the nerve to say "those cops acted stupidly"?

Section147 said...

Jugear's choice of "artists" only reminds us of what a totally self-unaware racist he is and always will be.
The only thing good I can say about Mooch's Crayola rendition is that they had the decency to airbrush
out the bulge.

Mike aka Proof said...

It is surprising just how mock worthy Obama's portrait is. Every time I think the well has gone dry, up springs another meme! Kudos on your air freshener (?).

Regnad Kcin said...

Say "Hello" to America's newest superhero dynamic duo : It's "Kudzu Man" and "Choom Chick". He proved that welfare CAN be a career opportunity. And, she has the power to turn any school cafeteria into a black hole of chaos. Together, they validated the doctrine fostered by a delusional minority and promoted by an ignorant MSM which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

S. B. Sweeney said...

Obama in the jungle? Mooch hiding from her color? Weird.

Jan Blickenstaff said...

I like the poison ivy background but hemp would have done just as well.
Perfect metaphor of the obama hiding his background from us.
Typically not serious, childish painting.

Geoff King said...

Happy V.D.!
Hussein's portrait (done by an artist known for his racist and homo-erotic work) with the different flowers that never grow in the same place on this planet, the lack of a necktie, the feet that seem to be hovering above the ground, the chair that is either missing a left arm or his butt cheek is wedged under it, the strange growth on his neck, and the enormous left hand that appears to have an extra finger all adds up to an appropriate depiction of the most nightmarish president in our history.
The best thing that I can say about Michael's portrait is that it thankfully looks nothing like her.

Fish Out of Water said...

Yeah, I too am puzzled about why no unicorn, and why the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains, Georgia isn't holding his absolutely undeserved Nobel peace prize .

As for the other portrait, in all fairness , perhaps the "artist" was going for a Gauguin look.

Jim Irre said...

These "artists" won't be making the cut for Antiques Roadshow anytime after their demise.

jpb252 said...

Actually, the official Obama presidential portraits weren't bad. They did a very good job of capturing the arrogant condescension Barack is known for; and Michelle’s hatred for America comes thru, too.

REM1875 said...

OMG I can not even think to comment after the King Kong gem ....LMAO .......

Happy VD day to all ...remember intoxicated came from the ancient latin "shot through the heart with a poison arrow" so intoxicated is a very ROMANtic way to celebrate .....

Judi King said...

The most ridiculous "portraits" I've ever seen and I've been interested in art all my life. At least the face on the dic's so-called portrait looks like him, but who is portrayed in the other painting? I guess it's hard to paint a gorilla to look like a human.

TrickyRicky said...

Earwig: Heathcliff was ecstatic that the ben wa balls had arrived from Amazon in time for Valentine's Day.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Earwig: "Hot damn," a young Bill Clinton thought, "Getting made an honorary Kentucky Colonel was the SMARTEST move I ever MADE!!!"

Fred Ciampi said...

Ghastly portraits is the most accurate description of the Great Pretender and his horrible sidekick. Although I wouldn't have been as kind as to use 'ghastly portraits'.

Anonymous said...

All this criticism! I think it's just wonderful how Mooch's artist positioned the right hand so as to hide the Adam's apple!

DennisA said...


Out of Africa:
http://allafrica.com/stories/201802130722.html

The paintings were done by two [black] renowned artistes who are well known for painting black people, Kehinde Wiley and Amy Sherald. Wiley painted Obama sitting in a chair with an intense expression while Amy Sherals painted Michelle with a calm expression.

Obama gave this reason for choosing Wiley, "What I was always struck by when I saw his portraits was the degree to which they challenged our ideas of power and privilege.

Wiley, overwhelmed with gratitude, said, "The ability to be the first African-American painter to paint the first African-American president of the United States is absolutely overwhelming... It doesn't get any better than that.

After the unveiling of her portrait, visibly ecstatic Michelle told the audience.

"As you may have guessed, I don't think there is anybody in my family who has ever had a portrait done, let alone a portrait that will be hanging in the National Gallery...

"But all those folks who helped me be here today, they are with us physically and they are with us in spirit... I'm also thinking of all the young people, particularly girls and girls of color, who ... will see an image of someone who looks like them hanging on the wall of this great American institution... I know the kind of impact that will have on their lives, because I was one of those girls".

Harry Hamid said...

I was thinking lasers for the President Barack one, but a unicorn would work, too. Very, very weird.

James Daily said...

This must be the first and last commissions these artisee will ever get. Scramble as they can those positive reviews must come from the mentally impaired. What is ironic, those that give positive reviews of these fiascos are probably jeopardizing their future. Could not happen to nicer folks. Now,to me, one area not commented on the poison sumac portrait is the left shoe, either that is a orthopedic shoe or it's extra wide since the pant leg cuff hits about in the middle: and I thought libatards had no sense of humor.
These will not hang around in the news like President Trump items. However, it is fun watching the talking heads try to put a positive spin on this disaster.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Here's what I find striking: You go through the gallery of presidential portraits, and they're all so staid and dignified even the one with Slick Willy playing left-handed pocket-pool while leaning casually against the desk has a certain dignity.

And now this. Some jackass "man of the hood" sitting, arms akimbo on his thighs, against a background having nothing to do with the office. The disrespect for said office never ends.

They need to sweep those to portraits into the trash with whatever other debris all the liberal sycophants in attendance at the unveiling inevitably left behind

(I guess there *IS* a bit of symbolism and subliminal messaging there since he never had anything to do with the office, either...)

Sortahwitte said...

Earwig: The fleet is in! We must swim out to the ships!

John Holton said...

Hey, maybe it's kudzu!

And you're right, her portrait is better with the crayon drawings in the back.

Idaho Bill said...

I think we can give Barry's portrait THREE thumbs up. One from his right hand. And two from his surreal left hand, which either has two thumbs or is a bizarre isomer giving him two right hands? But hey, he chose an artist with the same criteria that our nation used to elect him as president.

Jason Anyone said...

Seeing the line "So, how long have you been out of the convent, sister", brought back memories. (No, not me, you HopeNChangers!) :-)

Rhode Island was once "the home of the mob", and Federal Hill was THE mob's home. And RI politicians were mingled right in the thick of it.

Arlene Violet is a nun who is about 5'2", 90 pounds dripping wet. She got sick or reading about all the corruption in her state and decided to do something about it. She left the convent, ran for RI Attorney General and won. She actually took down a good portion of the mob, earning her the name Attila the Nun.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1988/02/16/the-nun-who-shook-a-state/4b3627c6-5cab-487d-b6da-93d8856cf6ed/?utm_term=.3c59ebbd4534

http://www.providencejournal.com/news/20170325/mark-patinkin-ex-ag-arlene-violet-is-still-taking-on-ris-network

She still writes a weekly column for a small community newspaper, and she still takes on anyone and anything, good, bad, or ugly.

So, I dedicate my earwig post to Arlene with "Thanks for leaving the convent, Sistuh!"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I'm going to be out and about much of the day, so can't really respond to comments individually. Great observations about the portraits, though. It really is delectable reading the reviews trying to make the case that the portraits are brilliant and opinions to the contrary are, by definition, racist. Well excuse the hell out of me for thinking that even these jackasses should have had better portraits owing to the lofty (and thoroughly undeserved) positions they once held.

tkdkerry said...

Michelle's portrait is hideous? I think that, as opposed to an actual likeness, the portrait is unlikely to make small children cry.

Pete Madsen said...

That's the best commentary I've seen on those, um, portraits.

Fritz Brohn said...

Two busts shaped from horse manure would have been more evocative
of these two!

Shelly said...

Obammy's portrait is very cartoonish, which is fitting for a cartoon president. The other one doesn't look a thing like her, except for the arrogance. Of course, they chose these "artists" for their color and social justice warrioring, rather than any artistic expertise and they got what they paid for, assuming they paid anything at all.

John the Econ said...

#MeToo.

Rogues Gallery: All I could think was, "WTF?". And you're right, it certainly has been fun watching the Obamatons try to make sense of this meme-fodder. One almost suspects that the Obamas did this to prank their fan base as much as anything else. Or perhaps this is just to give people something to laugh about generations down the line, because there was absolutely nothing funny about the rest of his legacy, which is already crashing and burning right before our very eyes.

Dan said...

To paraphrase @DennisA, above,
"Obama gave this reason for choosing Wiley: I was always struck by them when I saw his portraits in the bath house."

I do like Michelle's dress though.

Doug M said...

Earwigs:
• Hey, you're a white girl! That's cultural appropriation.
• Clams! Clams! Oh, boy! Clams!
• Wardrobe malfunctions weren't as much fun before YouTube.
• Okay, so you won, Sharon. No need to be a dick about it.
• Lt Jacobs crosses street and gets hit by a gypsy cab.
• The C.O.'s secretary loved to liven-up his staff meetings.
• etc.

Doug M said...

Also:
• Elvira Madigan, the director's cut, alternative ending.

mindful webworker said...

I was gonna say

Earwigs: Looks like that gal is about to have the same wardrobe malfunction as the Olympic skater.

But Doug M half-way beat me to it.

It's like the Obama portraits: Every single thing I thought of to do altering those paintings, someone else, sometimes two or three someones else, had beat me to it.

It's a jungle out there in memeland.

Anonymous said...

Mike never did look good in a dress !!!

JustaJeepGuy said...

My question (re: the "portraits") is, is it raaaaaaacissssssst yet, to expect a portrait to look like the person portrayed?

JustaJeepGuy said...

Oh, also, the "artist" chosen to "paint" Barack Hussein's "portrait" meets an extremely important criterion: he's a flaming trouser pilot. He's so politically correct, the Left can't imagine anyone more perfect to produce a rendering of BHO.

Bruce Bleu said...

It has been reported that the artist of lamont's portrait has a tradition of putting sperm into his artwork, but I contend, especially in THIS case, that the artist put sperm into "Bathhouse Barry" as well!
And magilla's portrait... it seems to capture the same facial disdain as when Jane Goodall came upon her "troop". She must have suspected her carefree days of eating bananas and grooming parasites out of her family's fur was soon destined to end.
GAWD what an ugly pair of beings these portraits depict, and has anyone noticed how Kunte Kehinde minimized the piece of corn stuck in lamont's nose crease?

Gee M said...

I remember a pic I saw on the Net a while ago...the Obongos were in what I believe is an Irish pub, and they were drinking...I saw a sign that said "Black and Bitter" and I had to laugh...the truth will out.
However, if Donald is caught selling Nuclear tech to Kim Jong Un or having donkey sex in the Oval Office, something that 'crash-and-burnish', the next Democrat administration head will probably continue the cringeworthy tradition of clown Portraits; one can only imagine where this can and will go.
Maybe a Pajama-clad President in the White House bedroom having a morning cupajava while negotiating with the Iranian regime for some more Billions in cash? maybe the First Couple coupling in some fairly formal setting? The First Lady (or Dude) posing in the garden with their pumpkin crop gathered around and their attire of dirt-begrimed gloves, overalls, and traditional straw hats?
The First Family Limo will just hafta be a 2020 Cadillac Clown Car, with 20 or so Secret Service Bozos piling out at every appearance.
The possibilities are endless, seeing the Obongo portraits.

Anonymous said...

Six fingers? WTF?

Rod said...

I was not "connected" for a few days but had heard some of the buzz about the Obama portraits. When I saw them I realize they are entirely correct & appropriate. His was done by an artist of questionable character & taste, and for Mooch the dress looks to be about the right size for her. One does wonder how much Photoshop time was needed to produce her face for go-by photographs. Barry's setting & pose is completely ridiculous, just as was his administration. I think they were captured just right & are masterpieces. Do they look out of place with the others? Yes.

Earwig: Sterling fully exhausted himself in the foot race; but Celeste finished close behind with much energy remaining.