HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! We think that on this most special of Hallmark holidays, we should share a specially themed "Earwigs" which we're pretty sure Hallmark wouldn't touch with a ten foot, heart-adorned pole...
Oh, you just knew we had to share our take on the preposterous new portraits of Barry and Michelle. And we've got to admit that we're having a grand time watching effete Leftists struggling to explain why these alleged works of art are swoon-worthy.
Barry's is hilariously surreal and lacks only a unicorn to properly depict the self-obsessed fantasy world he lived in. Seriously, it practically screams "this man has no contact with reality."
We do, however, like the fact that the vines are already growing over his legs - giving us hope that he will eventually disappear entirely.
|Coming soon to a "choom gang" van near you.
|Bonus! You can chill your groceries with her cold glare!
The portrait is astonishingly amateurish, lifeless, and flat - although we actually agree with the artist's decision to give Michelle's painting no background. After all, what background did we ever get on the woman herself, other than that she had no pride in America until Obama elbowed his way into our national nightmares and, per her laughably self-centered university "thesis," that she just plain doesn't like white folks.
Perhaps it's just the influence of Valentine's Day, but we actually find our hearts warmed by these ghastly portraits...because they're exactly what the subjects deserved.