With immigration (and a possible invading army of Hondurans) much in the news, we think it's time for some sober contemplation of the larger issues and implications associated with weaving different nationalities and traditions into our great national tapestry.
Is assimilation an impossible dream? Or is America made better through the contributions of people from other parts of the world? We firmly believe in the latter proposition, if only in recognition of the great gift Polish immigrants brought to their new homeland: Dyngus Day!
Dyngus Day occurs on Easter Monday, and seems like an especially good idea to those whose Cadbury Easter eggs turned out to be full of liquor. Likely based on ancient fertility rituals, on Dyngus Day boys splash water on girls whom they find attractive and the girls, if similarly interested, tap their suitors with a pussy willow. Presumably, great merriment and a slew of new Polish kids ensue in the fullness of time.
In some sad backwaters of our nation, Dyngus Day still isn't celebrated with the same enthusiasm as other ethnic drinking holidays like St. Patrick's Day or Cinco de Mayo. Perhaps because restaurants and bars aren't sure if they can advertise a "Big Dyngus Party" without getting into trouble with the law or, perhaps, attracting an entirely different clientele than they were aiming for.
But in Buffalo, New York they do the day up right, complete with parades, polka bands, a competition for the much-coveted title of "Miss Dyngus," and festive Dyngus Day costumes like these...
For those of you with dirty minds, we should point out that the men in the picture above are actually dressed as pierogies - the traditional Dyngus Day pastry. Said pierogies may be stuffed with macaroni and cheese, sour cherry filling, or buttered sauerkraut...making each reach for an hors d'oeuvre a culinary game of Russian roulette.
Here at Stilton's Place, we think it's high time to give Dyngus Day the attention and respect it deserves. And if you don't want to take our word for it, just listen to what respected journalist (and Stormy Daniels Fan Club president) Anderson Cooper has to say...
28 comments:
Listening to Anderson Pooper giggle like a schoolgirl was as funny as anything else in the report.
I'm reminded of what Jean Shepherd had to say about Polish girls, especially ones from East Chicago. The story was "The Star-crossed Romance Of Josephine Cosnowski". Wish I could read it again.
Poor Aderson, all these years, he wore the pussy willow branch like a horse mane butt plug.
LIKE USUAL FAKE NEWS
Guys whip girls with the pussy willows and the girls throw water .....On Tuesday girls can throw crockery in revenge ....Vodka Vodka Vodka... and Pierogies and Kielbasa......
We have a real shortage of pussy willows here so I offered to whip Mrs Rem with mesquite ...
After listening to what she planned to with me if I tried that I dropped the idea like a red hot chunk of iron from the blacksmiths forge ....
Dyngus Day Tradition:
Guys, on this day you get to wet the ladies down. Sprinkling or drenching with water is your goal. Chase after the ladies with squirt guns, buckets, or other containers of water. The more bold and gallant boys, may choose to use cologne. Hitting (gently, please) the ladies on the legs with switches or pussy willows is also common.
Yes ladies, you can strike back. Ladies , you get your revenge on Tuesday, when tradition has it that you throw dishes or crockery back at the boys. It has become increasingly popular for the ladies to get their revenge on Monday, tossing water back at the boys.
http://www.holidayinsights.com/other/dyngusday.htm
Editorial Note:
Anytime you use the name Anderson Cooper and the term "respected journalist" in the same sentence, please use quotes
so we know that your tongue is firmly wedged in your cheek.
@Keith- It's pretty much the only time I can tolerate Anderson Cooper.
@JustaJeepGuy- I'm a big Jean Shepherd fan, and have him reading that story on MP3 (though I haven't heard it yet - I only recently acquired the recordings).
@Mike- You have the soul of a poet.
@REM1875- Well now I'm confused about who does what to whom. Then again in today's gender fluid LGBTEIEIO society, that's been true for awhile now.
@Roger Myers- I assumed that anyone familiar with this site wouldn't need the quotation marks to know I was lying through my teeth (grin).
The only place that does Dyngus better than Buffalo might be right here in the CLE. It's truly an orgy of food, beer, tapping and spraying.
April appears to be full of fun holidays besides Dyngus Day.
For example: this Friday is "Plan Your Epitaph Day".
http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/april.htm
Since I am too old to celebrate Dyngus Day, I'll celebrate our President sending a message loud and clear to our southern neighbors. I had much rather see our warriors on the southern border than in some god forsaken shit hole half way around the world.
Stilt- I’m glad you ‘splained what those guys in the second panel are supposed to be dressed as; I thought they were giant tampons!
@James Daily: I couldn’t agree with you more. The Mexican govt. is protesting Trump’s proposal for putting our troops on the border-I say tough shit to what they think! They’ve been dictating to us and getting their way for far too long. It’s about time our leaders start looking out for what’s in the USA’s best interests!
Anderson Pooper giggling like the "arrested Development 3 year old" he actually is was reminiscing about when (to not offend his mommy) he used to refer to a penis as a "dyngus" (week before last). Anyone notice he was "fiddling" with his own dyngus with his right hand while doing this bit? THAT is what brought his octave up to its highest pitch.
East Chicago girls were "known". My grandma & 2 of her sisters were known as hot stuff back then.
East Chicago is now not known as a Polish city; its known as a Mexican-Black, crime ridden (though not as bad as Gary), corrupt (read: Democrat) city. It was a booming beautiful city. Now its gang, crime infested and dirty, rundown city.
Hmmm...squirting water on hot wimmen...hot wimmen smacking guys in response with Pussy Willow branches...I have an Idea: let's just rename it Penis Day, and just have young folks ripping off their clothing and doing the deed wherever they are at the moment of being squirted.
So 21st Century...
I mean...Dyngus/Dingus Day is sooo obviously a Polish Fertility Rite,right? And Millennials are all about discarding the outdated stuff (like the US Constitution and the 2nd Amendment in particular); we can see the obvious need to update this ancient Polish Fete.
(Hear about the new Soccer Stadium in Warsaw having to be torn down right after opening? It seems that wherever you sat you were sitting behind a Pole!)
I am all about respecting National Tradition, whether American or Polish...we could even meld some of the ancient Mardi Gras traditions with the Pirogi-wearing Dyngus dudes...I am so looking forward to this becoming a Favorite Festival along the lines of Spring Break ,as there are so many similarities there!
(Did you hear the sad news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in
Poland? The Polish officials have so far retrieved over 2000 bodies!)
We have so much to thank the Polish People for!
Being of Polish heritage, I am offended by his insulting giggling. Why does the word pussywillow get him giggling like a girl? Then he says "drinking, of course the drinking". Does he say that about St Patricks day or 5 May Day? Two days that are primarily only about drinking? Why does he find it ok to laugh at and insult a Polish holiday?
I find it interesting that those that get mad that they as a group are insulted/discriminated against, etc are the first ones to insult/mock/make fun of a different group.
Speaking of "made-up holidays", Anderson Crapper, how about Kwaanzaa?
Anderson Cooper would not find so unusual or humorous any tradition that included fallating the boy you fancy. But sprinkling water and tapping with pussy willows....hilarious. Our culture is more twisted every day.
What gets me is that Anderson Cooper loses it talking about Dyngus Day, but kept a straight face interviewing Stormy Davis. He's a better actor than I thought.
But it's nice to see that it's still okay to snicker at cultural oddities as long as it's white people involved. Perhaps it's because these really are humorous, compared to some of the cultural rituals being imported from other parts of the world which are far less so.
"We have so much to thank the Polish People for!"
Yes, we do have much to thank the Polish People for:
For defeating the Turks at the siege of Vienna and saving Western Civilization;
For defeating the invading Soviet Armies that were attempting to spread communism into Europe right after WWI;
For the initial breaking of the Nazi Enigma Code during WWII;
For the Polish Pope and Solidarity;
For their current resistance to the Muslim invasion of Europe;
For tolerating people who make stupid Polish jokes.
BTW: my heritage is Scots/Irish and German.
JustaJeepGuy - quick search on DuckDuckGo uncovered several sources in print, a movie, and TV Playhouse production...?
Knock yourself out!
@Section147- I need to make it to one of these locations. This seriously sounds like a blast. And I notice that in Buffalo, they had the very eclectic polka band (with whom I wrote a song or two many years ago) "Brave Combo" playing. I guarantee that was a party.
@Geoff King- I can't decide if my epitaph should be "He meant well" or "What the hell was he thinking?"
@James Daily- It's pretty impressive that Trump did some saber rattling, and suddenly the invaders decided to cool their heels in Mexico for awhile.
@FlyBoy- I wasn't sure if they were tampons, malformed bananas, or STD-ridden male genitalia. Finding out they were delicious flakey pastries was a great relief.
@Bruce Bleu- There's another Youtube video of Anderson getting the schoolgirl giggles while trying to do a story about Subway sandwich foot-longs, and whether people "were getting their 12 inches." Sheesh.
@Gee M- Ouch! The management of Stilton's Place takes no responsibility for any ethnic jokes posted here.
@AmyH- I agree. Cooper put this perfectly respectable (albeit fun) celebration in the "Ridiculist" portion of his show. He wasn't just reporting, he was mocking. And while it may seem like that's what I was doing, I had love in my heart (grin). Seriously, Mrs. J comes from an area in northern Indiana which had a substantial Polish population, so Dyngus Day was quite familiar up there.
@udaman- Funny how these "news" guys only want to attack "safe" targets. If he's pummeled with pussy willows, it will be his own fault.
@Igor- Bingo! Help yourself to any prize on the shelf!
@Anonymous- I believe the holiday you're referring to is called "Knøbgøbbël." Participants wear colorful knee pads and toss breath mints to the crowds.
@John the Econ- I'd feel bad about laughing, only I feel like I'm laughing with the Dyngus Day folks who obviously know plenty about having a good time. Frankly, we could use a lot more such holidays!
@PvtCharlieSlate- Well said. As I've mentioned several times above, today's post was not about mocking Polish folks in any way, shape, or form.
@Pete (Detroit)- Nice detective work! For anyone unfamiliar with the wonderful radio personality and writer, Jean Shepherd, you should definitely check out his stuff (some of his old radio broadcasts are freely available at archive.org.) Probably everyone has seen "A Christmas Story," which was based on Jean Shepherd's writings, has him for the movie's narrator, and even has a cameo in the waiting line for the department store Santa. I'm a radio guy at heart, and Shepherd was among the very best.
@Pete (Detroit),
Thanks for that info. I used to own a book by Shep that was a collection of some of his stories. The book was called "Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories". I lost track of it decades ago and I still miss it.
I always thought a good epitaph would be "Easily amused and a cheap drunk."
I'm not Polish but several of my best friends are or are part Polish. Wonderful people! I never heard of Dyngus Day but many ethnic groups celebrate with dancing and drinking, etc. So what? Anderson Cooper is a total jerk but, of course, we knew that.
Here in the Southwest, with Spring headed into Furnace Summer, it is difficult for me to imagine grown men, dressed as pierogis, parading down Camelback Road.
And while I'm a HUGE fan of pierogis and Polish cuisine in general, around here they'd dress like tacos and there'd be a lot of tequila involved.
@Murphy(AZ) -- Couldn't those tacos be mistaken for a wymyn's march or something?
Hey, if they have the Schmenge Brothers playing polkas I'm all for it!
@Fritz Brohn,
I've missed the Happy Wanderers every day since they split up!
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