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Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Christmas Trimmings

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, christmas, gender neutral, santa, female

In what should come as a shock to absolutely no one in these gender-confused times, a new poll has revealed that 27% of respondents would prefer Santa Claus to be female or gender neutral.

Mind you, the poll revealed additional results besides those suggesting that kids should go to bed on Christmas Eve while waiting to hear the clop, clop, clop of Bruce Jenner's track shoes landing on the roof.

Some respondents want Santa to have dreadlocks, to wear skinny jeans, get tattoos, and drive a convertible - suggesting not only gender confusion, but a significant mid-life crisis for Santa.

According to one respondent, "I just feel like a white, old man giving presents is kind of creepy." No doubt because in this person's mind, an endless supply of presents should actually be given away to all by a faceless, genderless government.

Which is, of course, largely funded by old white men who don't even get the option of deciding whether their funds will go to the naughty or the nice.

46 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

"Some respondents want Santa to...get tattoos..."
When I hear that, it makes me think of Stan Freberg's - Green Christmas:
"Make Santa a little more rugged this year"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5IXlfJSEi4

Bruce Bleu said...

Well, if it WERE true, we would know that Bruce Jennitals could get a job as SANTA!

Section147 said...

Hey! I’m on my third successive convertible. And I’m past “mid-life”. So just what kind of a crisis would ya call this, Stilt?

Regnad Kcin said...

That clop, clop, clop noise is the sound of the demo-prog lemmings running towards the cliff with their hair on fire while leaving brown trails of excreta in their wakes........

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Well, if we're talking Busty Ross coming down my chimney, I suppose I could reluctantly adapt...

James Daily said...

Gender neutral? What in the heil is that? Would it not be better to vote for a hermaphrodite? Somehow I cannot imagine a neutral having a WhOOOOOO!!! moment. However, not much surprises me anymore from these clueless people.

REM1875 said...

Prancer is one out of 8 giving the BLTLG confused representation already ...........

Jim Irre said...

I can't even imagine.

Gee M said...

Times have moved so fast, and so far...I remember chortling over the confusing concept of "Black Santa"...seems so simple now.

Gender neutral? A sexually ambiguous fat person? Too fat shaming...'presents' indicate wealth inequality... and a serious participation in Capitalism. A chimney-diving old guy (ageism at work!) mixes Harry-Potter level magic (too much like religious acceptance) with mysticism...
way much neurosis creation on so many levels!
Holy Shit! How the Hell did we miss all that all these generations?
Thank God the Thought Police are Grinch-aware and available to try and screw up Christmas!
Thank God!

Judi King said...

Santa is an age old tradition based on a real person who gave to the poor. He has morphed into the beloved character we all grew up with. This is just another attempt to destroy and confuse an already confused generation. Nothing about CHRISTmas has any meaning to these PC morons.

Roger Myers said...

A new poll just completed revealed that 73% of respondents wish 27% of the people would just shut up and go away.

Geoff King said...

At least 73% of respondants were not whaco.
Santa's reindeer, however, are another issue. Since male reindeer lose their antlers in the winter, that means those depicted pulling Kringle's sleigh - including Rudolf - must be all female.!

Jess said...

If I was Santa, I'd have to throw a grenade down the chimney of anyone that suggested I wear skinny jeans.

Emmentaler "Hello, darkness my old friend" Limburger said...

Whilst you all baffle and boggle over the responses, I sit in wonderment over the extremely twisted mind who would even think to ask the question?

The MSM truly is the instrument of our demise - even "seemingly innocent" ponderings look to be sinister in their designs; all posited to drive a wedge between the alleged freedoms we enjoy and their underpinnings: morality, tradition, civility,... It also pains me to realize that when I read of this fuckery, the only thought that occurs is that I'll only have to put up with this for another 20 or 30 years. What's worse is the "if I'm lucky" is attached to the 20; not the 30.

What have we become?

Fred Ciampi said...

Ahhhhhhh, reminds me of that wonderful Christmas song from the nice folks at Monty Python; "Ho ho f***ing ho, what a crock of s**t, we all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit". Such wonderful memories of days gone by.......

That's why I love our small town in Appalachia, It's all traditional.

Gee M said...

Not to worry...many of Santa's 8 identify as male.
'Sides...they do be flying Caribou; magic erases all barriers! However...Rudolf is usually antlerless.
Now I'm confused...what does that mean?
My head hurts...


(A pox on skinny leg jeans!)

bunker_man said...

Yes. No whites no welfare.

Gee M said...


South Park fulfills me...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14mPAZkJvd4
Mr Garrison sing a Christmas classic.

Gee M said...



"sings"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- As an old radio man, I have special love for Stan Freberg. He was brilliant!

@Bruce Bleu- Caitlyn Claus!

@Section147- Not to be indelicate, but past a certain age a convertible is simply referred to as an open casket. (grin)

@Regnad Kcin- That image will definitely replace "visions of sugar plums" in my Christmas Eve dreams.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- You make a good point.

@James Daily- To me, "gender neutral" sounds like a cat who has been "fixed" and just lays around getting fat.

@REM1875- In fairness, it's Prancer who choreographs the fancy footwork of the other reindeer.

@Jim Irre- To imagine what these people are thinking, you have to start (as usual) with hate. In this case hating someone because of his race and gender. But is that really the best mindset for Christmas?

@Gee M- And just like Santa, the Thought Police have lots of "little helpers" to try to get the job done on the rest of us.

@Judi King- You raise an excellent point. The actual, historical Saint Nicholas was a real person and - oh yeah! -an old white man. If the Left wants post-mortem sex reassignment surgery for him, why not for other historical figures like, oh, Jesus? I'd say more, but I don't want to give them any ideas...

@Roger Myers- FINALLY a poll I can believe in!

@Jess- This time of year, I'm stopped by strangers on a daily basis who remark that I look like Santa. If I were wearing skinny jeans, they'd say I looked like a Smurf because my face was turning blue.

@Emmentaler "Hello, darkness my old friend" Limburger- While I'm treating the topic lightly, you're quite correct that the goal of polls like this is the erosion of cultural constants on all levels, because those (not so) constants are an impediment to the Left's all-consuming desire for power over our minds, bodies, and souls.

@Fred Ciampi- I'm pretty sure if I called those elves "uppity" I'd never be asked to host the Oscars.

@Gee M- The question is whether Rudolf was born antlerless, or had reassignment surgery?

@bunker_man- Statistically speaking, that's pretty much a truism.

@Gee M- Loves me some South Park!

Rod said...

Yes, yes.. I KNOW we're getting close to Christmas and I'm not prepared for that, nor this. I'm still trying to figure WTF was going on with Miss Spain in the Miss Universe Pageant.

Fortescue J. Giraffe said...

@Stilton: The best solution to power-hungry Lefties is to give them power. How many volts does "Old Sparky" run on, again?

AmyH said...

Thank you

Fred Ciampi said...

Fortescue, Old Sparky uses 1,000 volts and has a capacity of 100 Amps. WooHoo..... They were first thinking of making it 10,000 volts but that would cause the 'victim' to explode. Eweuuuuuuu...........

John the Econ said...

So 27% of respondents, whoever they are, want a female or gender-neutral Santa. So what's stopping them? Go find one!

Of course, we know that's never what the vocal minority Progressives really means. What they really want is a female or gender-neutral Santa to be forced upon on the rest of us. Because that's what Progressives do. They ruin everything they touch.

"I just feel like a white, old man giving presents is kind of creepy."

And yet s/he'll vote for Bernie Sanders.

James Daily said...

Stilt: I was actually thinking sort of along the same line as in Eunuch. Chinese Emperors used them extensively, especially in harems. I never did figure out how he kept out the, well, gay gals that were there, especially when those harems could number in the thousands and concubines in the hundreds. Better him than me as that would be a set of problems unsolvable. As far as Old White Men giving presents, so what? You do not want to celebrate Christmas so be it. Probably over 9 Billion people in the world do not but very few resent we that celebrate Christ's birth have no problem with that. More people probably celebrate April 8th (Buddah's birthday) than December 25th anyways.

TrickyRicky said...

Progs defile and demean everything they touch. Everything. It's what they do. A more unhappy, miserable, depressing existence is hard to imagine. Wallow in it you freaks!

Colby Muenster said...

Sheesh... I have a message for all of you wimped out, politically correct, ignorant of history, easily offended, nutless, unable to form your own opinions, snowflakes out there.

I don't give a rat's ass if you want YOUR Santa to be a cross dressing, transvestite, gay, African/Hispanic/Oriental/Native American/European, Muslim/Christian/Jew/Hindu/Buddhist, man/woman. Yup! Just fine with it, as long as you don't expect me to want the same because my beliefs "offend" you.

Explaining further, your beliefs are (gasp!) your beliefs, and my beliefs are (you guessed it) my beliefs. As odd as it may sound, I don't have to believe what you believe, and you don't have to believe what I believe, and we can still coexist in the same space (Earth) without hating each other.

Merry Christmas, y'all! Now to find Fred's house and raid his moonshine stash. Guessing he's just over the hill from me, west of Asheville somewhere.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- Yeah, the "Miss" Spain contestant was puzzling.

@Fortescue J. Giraffe- And if a second round is required, is it a "re-volt?"

@AmyH- You're welcome.

@Fred Ciampi- Frankly, they should have gone with the 10,000 volts if only for the entertainment value.

@John the Econ- Your line about Bernie is sheer perfection.

@James Daily- I'm with you; harems sound like an awful lot of work. Then again, maybe I'm just getting lazy in my old age.

And yes, rather than trying to change Christmas, people should just ignore it if they don't like it.

@TrickyRicky- And God bless us, every one.

Rod said...

Regarding harems, & if you have not: Read Mark Twain's "Letters from the Earth". Unpublished until after his passing; the man had keen powers of observation and a sense of humor. It would also be fun to hear from him again and learn what he has to say about LGBTQ etc.

TrickyRicky said...

@Stilton- Yes, God bless us, every one.....and Santa can bring the 27% a lump of coal, so there!

Fred Ciampi said...

Colby, not quite. More like 173 miles northeast as the crow flies.

sergio said...

Saint Dickless might work in West Vagina (no offense to Mountaineeers) Such a minute minority, why not ignore them and not publicize their lunacy, other that for purposes of amusement. I was always perplexed because "Santa" is Spanish and "Claus" is Germanic. The good news is, if you combine a Mexican and German, you get Linda Ronstadt!!

Geoff King said...

Once again Stilton has replied to everyone's post but mine. I feel I am now owed a safe space and trauma councilling.

Fish Out of Water said...

Speaking of old white men, from today's WSJ

The National Gallery of Identity Politics
Forget Monet or Hopper. The art museum’s new director wants to tackle ‘gender equality,’ ‘social justice’ and ‘diversity.’

Rod said...

@ Geoff King: I went back up the list and think your post was informative, appropriate and welcome. And in addition to that PC bullshit; IMO you contribute many good posts. Thank you. Maybe you're just not an optimum straight man for a persistent comic.

John the Econ said...

@Fish Out of Water, I wouldn't care so much if this was donor money. But it's not. "...about $140 million of its $190 million budget comes from the U.S. Treasury".

“As long as the staff and trustees at American museums remain predominantly white,” she writes, museums risk “irrelevance” by failing to attract “younger and more diverse audiences” and “address formidable and pressing societal issues.”

No, they risk irrelevance because instead of being repositories of heritage, they'll become just more spiritually empty propaganda centers where the only people who will go will be the schoolchildren forced to for their cultural indoctrination.

For an extra dose of irony, "...ponder Ms. Feldman’s response at the Minneapolis Institute of Art to President Trump’s travel ban in 2017. “The museum’s staff and I felt compromised because that message didn’t align with our belief in inclusion,” she proudly notes. “This prompted us to come up with a quick and authentic response to express our values with a billboard campaign.”"

And just what does the culture that Mr. Trump was seeking to ban think about museums, other cultures, and art?

The real tragedy is what is going to happen to a generation of people who are only exposed to the numbingly unimaginative sameness of what passes for ‘gender equality,’ ‘social justice’ and ‘diversity’. They'll end up caring about nothing.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- What a beautiful and inspiration expression of co-existence. And as far as Fred's house goes, I'm pretty sure it's over the river and through the woods...

@Rod- I'll look for the Twain book. What a brilliant writer!

@TrickyRicky- As far as I'm concerned, he can just drop the lump of coal on them from a high altitude.

@Fred Ciampi- Why would crows want to fly to your still?

@sergio- Linda Ronstadt was mighty talented and might hot back in the day. Sadly, she lost appeal in my eyes when she started sharing her politics.

@Geoff King- DAMN! Sorry about that, although I also accidentally skipped Colby's comment. I think senility is setting in...

@Fish Out of Water- I read that WSJ piece and just shook my head. We need to reconsider taxpayer funding of this BS.

@Rod- Aw, fer gosh sakes...I didn't ignore Geoff King, I just lost my place when reading down the comments and responding. (grin)

@Geoff King- Okay, you didn't actually have a comment to respond to at this juncture, I just wanted to say "hi." (grin)

@John the Econ- Perfectly said. And while I dislike using the H-word, I'm really starting to hate these smarmy-pants little assholes.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Regarding Linda Ronstadt, she has not been able to sing for a number of years due to Parkinson's Disease. Just so you know.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. I may not like her politics, but I wouldn't wish Parkinson's on anyone.

Anonymous said...

In other words cultural appropriation is fine so long as the hypocrites are doing it.

Judi King said...

Art and identity politics: Does this mean the contributions of Fra Angelico, Rafael, Botticelli, Bernini, Michaelangelo, da Vinci, Rembrandt, Vermeer, Monet, Manet, Renoir, Van Gogh, Cranach, etc., etc....are to be ignored? All white men. Then there's the Spanish...Picasso, Goya, etc. Also white. How about Whistler, Head, Wyeth, etc. This is so over the top stupid. Another obscuring of reality by the Marxists on the left.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ John the Econ & Judi King: Can't remember if the National Gallery houses a Michaelangelo or two, but do know it houses a couple of Goya's, el Greco's, a a Vinci, etec., etc, .

Besides just being addle-brained Ms. Feldman exposes her really deplorable lack of history. What she wants puts her in bed with Satin and his Socialist realism school of "art" and Adolf Hitler with his ideas on Entartete Kunst (degenerate art).

Last, recall something the late Alistair Cooke said in comparing the United States and the Roman Empire and signs of decay. One point I remember him saying was social fixation on sex. Another was freakiness creeping into the Arts......

Judi King said...

What these ridiculous idiots on the left don't get is that there would be NO Western culture or civilization without white men. That goes for every phase of life and starts with the ancient civilizations beginning thousands of years ago. If that doesn't suit them, then they should go live in a non-white country where they'll be so very happy and leave the rest of us alone. And Alistair Cooke was right, only Rome lasted 1,000 years and we'll be lucky if our
civilization lasts 300 years.

Rod said...

I don't have much to add to this video. I wish the license plate was not frazzled; but there's a good chance it's California or Oregon. Odds are also pretty strong she's a "progressive-eco-liberal", and... she's a blonde. [Credit in-transit to Chonday]

https://www.chonday.com/33678/ldgaeletes6/

Unknown said...

Speaking of Busty, those bad boys will firm up if you rub on them: a baby learns that right away..