Wednesday, December 19, 2018
In what should come as a shock to absolutely no one in these gender-confused times, a new poll has revealed that 27% of respondents would prefer Santa Claus to be female or gender neutral.
Mind you, the poll revealed additional results besides those suggesting that kids should go to bed on Christmas Eve while waiting to hear the clop, clop, clop of Bruce Jenner's track shoes landing on the roof.
Some respondents want Santa to have dreadlocks, to wear skinny jeans, get tattoos, and drive a convertible - suggesting not only gender confusion, but a significant mid-life crisis for Santa.
According to one respondent, "I just feel like a white, old man giving presents is kind of creepy." No doubt because in this person's mind, an endless supply of presents should actually be given away to all by a faceless, genderless government.
Which is, of course, largely funded by old white men who don't even get the option of deciding whether their funds will go to the naughty or the nice.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM