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Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Hat Trick

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, biden, make america moral again, mama, groping joe, prongs

Up until now, we haven't really taken Gropin' Joe Biden's presidential campaign seriously, but now that we've heard his new slogan...well...we still can't take him seriously.

Best known for fondling and shnuzzling women and children, Biden announced on ABC's "Good Morning America" that his motto will be "Make America Moral Again." Which, admittedly, he can make a lot of progress on just by handcuffing his meaty paws to his belt for the next few months.

Biden also said that "unity" would be one of the three "major prongs" of his campaign. When added to "morality," that leaves his third major prong somewhat of a mystery - but we're not about to ask him about it, for fear of getting stung by the infamous "one eared elephant" trick he likes to pull on little girls.

And speaking of the fairer sex...

ALOHA SANDBAR

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, sports illustrated, pilot, burkini, hijab, swimsuit edition

Sports Illustrated has announced that their 2019 Swimsuit edition, best known for showing voluptuous women modeling dental floss, is making history by including a model wearing a hijab and "burkini" - a full body covering which, when completely saturated, pretty much assures that the wearer will sink like a stone. Which, presumably, is better than being stoned for having an exposed belly button.

The young Somali-American model from (surprise!) Minnesota is unquestionably attractive, and her colorful outfits are appealing even if entirely impractical for anything remotely like swimming. Which perhaps explains why she's photographed frollicking in an inch of water like a flopping fish...


We understand and even support the idea of inclusiveness, but find this particular example to be an uncomfortable hypocrisy. It's hard to interpret the hijab and burkini as anything other than condemnations of the stone-worthy women who are modeling more revealing swimsuits.

Plus, Sports Illustrated could work with we cultural troglodytes at least a little; in explaining their editorial decision, they say "we strive to continue to spread the message that whether you are wearing a one-piece, a two-piece, or a burkini, you are the pilot of your own beauty."

Post 9/11, they just might want to go easy on the "pilot" metaphors.

42 comments:

Will Hepburn said...

OMG! There was skin showing on her feet! Now all of good Muslims who gaze upon this woman must tear their eyes out.

If Sports Illustrated thinks this will sell magazines they are crazy. I think they are just frantically trying anything they can do to avoid the digital death that has been visited upon so many other print magazines. Good luck to that, and good riddance to Sports Illustrated.

I am really tired of non-political people/entities sucker punching us with their political views in places we expect entertainment, sports, etc. All it is is posturing to suck up to the liberal fascists out there and it exposes them as the spineless slugs that they are.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

H'm. "Serf's Up," anyone?

I think Gropin' Joe is a good example of Democrats "getting the government they deserve". Now, if we could only keep 'em from forcing it down the rest of everyone's throats...

Regnad Kcin said...

Hey, that cover photo has some pretty provocative nip and camel toe action going on. Wait till the groper gets a load of that pic. He's probably looking for his blow torch right now......

Phoebe said...

Those burkini photos are clueless even about what they purport to be celebrating. The whole point of the hijab, niqab, burqa, etc., is "modesty," which in Muslim terms means hiding the hair, the bodily shape, and (in the case of the niqab and burqa) even the face of the woman so her "beauty" won't tempt men to lust. (In Islam, it's always the woman's fault.)

So by posing the woman in provocative poses with her body's shape clearly outlined, the magazine could actually be endangering her -- except that jihadis would probably see the whole thing as a form of taqiyya, i.e., letting her pretend to be Westernized in order to desensitize Americans to the increasing inroads of sharia.

james daily said...

There is something about dems not being able to hold a sold out rally as it happens no matter who the speaker is, including the former president. Groping Joe drew 2000 viewers to his gym rally in PA, and the Union was a sponsor. This contender pretender will sink himself by gaffs fighting off the questions about his crooked children and his own crooked self. I loved the note about one son divorcing his wife to marry his dead brother's widow. You don't see that very often. At least Groping Joe will not have to change his address book.

REM1875 said...

Well the staff at SI may get to live with their heads attached .....for awhile ....

Fish Out of Water said...

Sports Illustrated is even more irrelevant to me as its parent, TIME magazine.

As for Biden, I see him as the lesser of a multitude of greater evils/threats to our Republic. But him having been on board the "scandal free" administration of the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains Ga, and let's also throw in the most vile, venal bitter clinging deplorable, serial patholigical liar and two time loser, him and his MAMA hat, emulating the President is about as laughable as Dukais in that tank.

Anonymous said...

Islam is incompatible with civilization.

The mention of stoning is just another point as to why.
Far too many Americans do not know that thanks to Islamic Sharia Law, "Stoning" is a very real consequence of having the misfortune to be blessed with the wonderful diversity of an Islamic society.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stop-the-cycle/201402/death-stoning-why-is-sickening-punishment-legal

Islam is incompatible with civilization.

MSG Grumpy

Fred Ciampi said...

Is it me or is her right leg about two feet longer than her left one? Of course, if it is, it will help her keep walking around in circles. And when is SI going to include other cultures? Next will be an Eskimo in full fur swimsuit made up of seven untanned seal skins and a polar bear. Oh, where's my 'shine?

FlyBoy said...

Stilt: The Wife-unit refers to the models in SI as wearing two Band-aids and a cork!

Could somebody please explain to me what the scantily clad babes in that rag has to do with SPORTS???? Not that I’m complaining.....

Rod said...

Islam is the best example I can think of: On how to cause me to have no interest in a beautiful woman.

Rod said...

The comment above can be taken several ways so perhaps I should further explain: Islam and Sharia Law would have never gotten off the ground had their women not tolerated it.

Bill from Wood-Ridge said...

Straw breaking camels back. About to end 52 years of reading what had been my sports bible. Their loss.

Geoff King said...

So, the party that brought us men in the ladie's room, infanticide, Anthony Weiner sending sexual messages and photos to a 15 year old girl, and blowjobs in the Oval Office is now going to lecture us on morals?
Puh-leeze!

Igor said...

MAMA, eh?
How about, DADA - Democrats Are Destroying America ? At least THAT's the truth...

TrickyRicky said...

Geoff, I agree completely. The irony is exquisite. Having the dems lecture us on morals is like having your muslim neighbor invite you over for a pig roast.

Unknown said...

Don't forget old Ted's leaving his girlfriend to drown in his car.

Judi King said...

This whole thing is a joke, right?
I'm a woman, but I can't imagine any real man being attracted by that image. Apparently SI has gone the way of the rest of the useful idiots.

Stinking Bishop said...

The modern Democrat Party slogan has always been "Divisa et Impera". Unity is a smoke screen.

American Cowboy said...

I don't know if it is the best part of seven decades of life, or the burkini "babe"; but I believe flaccid is not what SI used to aim for with their swimsuit edition.

P.S. I hope my comment is not crossing the line of TOS.

Geoff King said...

Regarding the SI model, I feel she is underdressed.
Just can't decide if she would look better with a pointy hat with bells on it, or a fuzzy blue wig and a big red rubber nose.

Alej said...

Where did my country go ?

rickn8or said...

FlyBoy, the purpose of the SI Swimsuit Issue is to improve SI's revenue stream during the Basketball's-Over, Football's-a-Distant-Dream, Baseball's-Not-Up-To-Speed-Yet period.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Will Hepburn- Oh, Sports Illustrated hopes this will sell magazines...but not because it shows "diversity." Rather, by pretending to have inclusion and female empowerment as their top priorities, it gives them permission to keep selling pictures of boobs and butts in an era in which our culture says it's not okay to do so. Hypocrites.

@M. Mitchell Marmel - Bonus points for the "serf's up" gag! And please, don't mention Biden and "forcing it down throats" in the same sentence.

@Regnad Kcin- Seriously, what the hell IS going on with those giant iron nipples? Makes me think of the infamous nippled Batman costume (the same one that had a huge codpiece) in some fustercluck of a Batman movie that I never watched.

@Phoebe- You're exactly right. The contours of the model's body are clear enough, we can see her lovely face, and with the various colorful and accessorized outfits she's wearing, it's hard to think that "modest" is the most apt description. I think that your suspicion of taqiyya is not unfounded.

@james daily- I just read that the Biden son who got divorced to marry his dead brother's widow is now divorcing the widow. Surely at some point, someone will be firing a shotgun in the air.

@REM1875- Maybe Charlie Hebdo should have had a Muslim swimsuit issue...

@Fish Out of Water- I've never given a darn about sports, so Sports Illustrated was never of interest to me. As a cisgen male, I have enjoyed their swimsuit pictures, but in the Internet age it's easy enough to find such without buying an overpriced magazine.

As far as Biden is concerned, he seems less dangerous than some of the other candidates, but I have no doubts that he would simply be a figurehead for the Deep State swampdwellers.

@MSG Grumpy- I haven't read the article yet (but will), but common sense tells us that stoning people, beheading them, throwing them from buildings, or setting groups of them on fire in cages is indeed "incompatible with civilization."

@Fred Ciampi- And when Sports Illustrated features an Eskimo, will they include the chainsaw she uses to cut a hole in the ice before diving in?

@Flyboy- I'm not sure what the swimsuit issue has to do with sports but, like you, I'm not opposed to it.

@Rod- Of course, it's hard NOT to tolerate a system that will put you to death for noncompliance.

@Bill from Wood-Ridge- I'm in favor of marketplace solutions. Let them publish what they want, and let consumers kill their subscriptions if they want.

@Geoff King- My thoughts exactly! The Left celebrates immorality, so I can't see Biden's idea really appealing to them. Moreover, the first steps toward morality involve respecting others and taking responsibility for your own actions - neither of which can be remotely associated with the Left.

@Igor- I like it!

@TrickyRicky- If your Muslim neighbor invites you to a pig roast, be suspicious when he greets you at the door and gives you an apple...

@Unknown- Worst SI swimsuit issue ever: "And here's Mary Jo Kopechne wearing Ted Kennedy's car..."

@Judi King- The whole idea behind "modest" Muslim dress is to not be attractive. But like I said previously, SI has really just included the "burkini" model in order to keep peddling T&A in the "woke" era.

@Stinking Bishop- Jonah Goldberg wrote a great piece recently in which he asks how one can simultaneously want unity and diversity. It's a damn good question.

@American Cowboy- "Flaccid" is an acceptable term here. Which is a good thing, considering how often we're going to use that word in association with Democrat presidential campaigns...

@Geoff King- You make a good point. Clowns are badly underrepresented in the swimsuit issue. Hopefully next year, something will be done about that.

@Alej- Funny, it was here about 18 years ago...

@rickn8or- So it's basically about Breastball season?

Colby Muenster said...

Just when you thought "Doltin' Joe had left and gone away," BAM! But hey, he's clean and articulate and good looking and smart and... did I say articulate? And he'll give us the whole load!

I'm actually surprised SI has gotten away with a swimsuit edition this long. It was only a matter of time before the lefty loonies got to them. May their readership dwindle to the levels they seem to desire so much.

@Igor,
In reality, Joe's slogan should be MASA... Make America Suck Again.

@Geoff King,
Too bad for her that Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey are no longer hiring.

John the Econ said...

One of the aspects of the Trump phenomenon that the left still doesn't get is that there were absolutely no personal shots that they could take against him that didn't ricochet directly back at them. "Trump's a liar!" Yeah, and have the Clintons ever been associated with being truth tellers?. "Trump's a misogynist pig!" Yeah, and Bill & Hillary Clinton weren't? And Hillary didn't run interference for her alleged rapist husband? "Trump's charitable foundation is a sham!" ROFL!

So now Biden actually thinks that he can float "Make America Moral Again"? First off, it's simple rip-off of Trump's MAGA. Real imaginative guys! Even worse, it comes out as "MAMA", as in "For American pajama beta-boys who want big government to be their MAMA". Embarrassing, really.

2nd, although he certainly doesn't compete in the Clinton league for personal corruption, he's hardly a pure as the wind-driven snow. There's his history of plagiarism going back to his college days. He charged the Secret Service rent for when they were on his property protecting him as Vice President.

But one of the best (and yet realized by the Democrats) parts of a Biden candidacy will be that it will be a front-and-center review of the Obama era for which Biden was in the co-pilot's seat that never really took place, at least in the mainstream media. We'll get to finally get to debate publicly the dismal "We'll never see 2% growth again" economy that we were told was a raging success. (If there had been a recession during the awesome Obama era, would anyone had noticed?) We'll discuss the rise of ISIS. The cluster**** of Libya. How they lost Iraq & Afghanistan. The Iran nuclear deal with pallets of cash shuttled about in the dark of the night. And best of all, the supposed "Russian reset" and subsequent election interference that all took place right under Obama & Biden's nose.

So I for one am looking forward to a Biden candidacy. I have no doubt that the Trump folk are as well.

The Halal Swimsuit Edition: This cartoon reminds me of the maxim the adults in my life drilled into us when we were being rambunctious kids in public; Children are to be seen, but not heard. Well in much of the Islamic world, women are not only not to be heard, but not even seen.

Other than pointing out the Babylon Bee's take on the issue, I'll leave the humor here as it is. I really can't improve on that.

However, I do have a serious question to ask: What the hell does Sports Illustrated really think it's doing here? Do they really think they're "educating" us about Islam? Do they honestly think they're doing something positive for Islam? As far as I can tell, all they've done here is:

A) Alienate their core audience, which is mostly guys who are willing pay to see voluptuous women modeling dental floss. Nobody's buying SI to be "educated" or "woke" about misogyny or multiculturalism. And I'm pretty sure that even supposedly devout Muslims who buy SI aren't buying it to see largely clothed women frollicking in an inch of water like a flopping fish.

B) They've actually insulted Islamic values. The whole point of women being fully covered in the Islamic world is to eliminate the possibility of them being seen in public as sexual beings. So what's the point of this? That we can take fully covered women and make them seem sexy anyway? That seems like a direct affront to Islamic values.

Either way, in the end this just reaffirms my maxim that Progressivism ruins everything.

Jason Anyone said...

If Joe does go with "Make America Oral Again", I can just imagine his first gaffe.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5fthKFWwAA4rqX.jpg:large



John the Econ said...

@Rod said Islam and Sharia Law would have never gotten off the ground had their women not tolerated it.

I'll have to disagree. Historically, Islam has been implemented and spread via violence. Historically, women, generally being the physically weaker sex really haven't had much of a say or choice in the matter.

That women have any right and power to say "No" is almost exclusively a notion found in western civilization. That's the same western civilization that the left is now working overtime to dismantle.

In the west, women today have the choice to "not tolerate" certain things. I fear that will not be the case in another generation or two.

@Geoff King, amen.

Rod said...

@ Stilton and John the Econ: Of course you are correct at least as savage male reaction, and certainly initially. That's even while in-fact many tenants of Islam are about respect for women and children. BS is BS now or 1400 years ago. But when Sharia law extended to amputations, being treated like property, stonings, etc.. Are you saying the females could not eventually influence the direction of their culture? I propose they could if the males hoped to breed a lot of little Muslims (which they seem to want) eat dinner, and to do that safely.

But this is all a moot point. I really started with how I find their culture to be a huge turn-off about Muslim women from the outset. All-in-all Islam seems to be less about "Submission to God"; more about submission to the most savage of them. And the thing many of us still miss is: It's not so much a religion as a system of government & law which has no place here.

Fish Out of Water said...

You know, history, at least as far as I know it, shows a Veep has an uphill battle to succeed by election, the press he served under. I can only recall Martin Van Buren, who succeeded Andrew Jackson, and Bush 1 who succeeded Reagan. Is that all?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Fish: Well, Truman and LBJ got re-elected after FDR and JFK's respective demises...

Fish Out of Water said...

@Marnell. Yes, they did, but I am not considering Veeps who got into office by the demise of their predecessor.

Geoff King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geoff King said...

I fear that many here post comments that are very well thought out and logical, but not accepting of or realizing that many on the other side, especially millennials, do not percieve reality the way that we do.
If Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders offers them free WIFI, their character or past record will mean nothing.
My attention span is too short - I'm just voting for the free shit.

Nelson Carlson said...

nice post

Remarkable Pain Taint

james daily said...

I am in awe of all the calls for the resignation of AG Barr, especially after announcing the coming indictments. Ya think that might be a factor? When AG Holder did his fast and loose criminal gun running, Lynch meeting with Clinton who was being investigated and lying about it and also weaponizing the IRS for political purposes, not ONE call for and investigation much less a call for resignation of the AG. My, my your hypocrisy is showing.
I believe this is why Nader the Large is trying to discredit AG Barr to make these indictments seem political rather than legal and make them go away.

Rod said...

I was able to watch a lot of the live broadcast of the inquisition of AG Barr yesterday and even though already hardened for it.. I was still amazed at the arrogance, poor manners and downright slanderous approach of the Democrat senators. What a bunch of weasels. Barr is a strong man to endure it as he did; and Trump still has a lot of swamp to clean up. I wish THEM well.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

In my continuing service to find SPAM when it is too late, Nelson Carter above is an ad for something related to "Prostatitus". Please delete that and this post :)

John the Econ said...

@Rod said "Are you saying the females could not eventually influence the direction of their culture? I propose they could if the males hoped to breed a lot of little Muslims (which they seem to want) eat dinner, and to do that safely."

Like I said above, women in these cultures don't really get that opportunity. Even the opportunity to not to participate in breeding. They're property in a culture that doesn't offer a lot of latitude for those who do not stay in their narrowly defined lane.

What I'll never understand are the western women who somehow find this culture appealing.

@Geoff King, Free WiFi and the promise to write off their 6-figures of debt on their creative dance studies degree.

@James Daily, after it was found after two years and 30-million dollars that there was never any "collusion", all they had left to grasp onto was the replacement "obstruction" narrative. And they've have so much invested in this whole mess with nothing in the queue to replace it that they simply can't tolerate letting it go. What's their alternative?

Sam L. said...

MAMA? Trump should have a new cap that says YO MAMA!

Rod said...

@ John the Econ: Thanks for reply. I guess it's worse than I ever knew or imagined, and for hundreds of years. It's very tragic and disappointing about this specific topic; and about how this situation continues to exist. That it's allowed in USA and is growing here is unbelievable; but I suppose maybe a bit more enlightened? Nope, probably not.

I saw a thing a few days about about Sharia "patrols" using cars that are identical to police car markings for patroling "Muslim communities" in USA. How the Hell is THAT tolerated by police, sheriff, troopers, Feds?

John the Econ said...

@Rod, this discussion reminds me of a movie that Mrs. Econ wanted us to watch a few years ago, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot with Tina Fey. Ms. Fey plays a female journalist who in an effort to boost her career goes to report on the war in Afghanistan.

I really wasn't expecting much out of it beyond a typically leftist tone that one expects out of Hollywood these days especially where Islam is even remotely concerned. Except one scene really did surprise me:

At one point, Ms. Fey's character accompanies a team going to a village deep in Taliban controlled territory. The team is there to investigate alleged activity by the Taliban, which included repeatedly blowing up a well that westerners have built for the village. Without the well, the women of the village, covered head to toe in their burkas have to walk a mile and a half to a stream to retrieve water and then carry it back. While the military personnel are discussing what they're going to do about this, Ms. Fey goes to talk to the covered women. There, she finds out that it's been the women who have been destroying the well. Why? Because hiking to the river to fetch water was the only time that they were allowed to be outside and were able to visit and freely communicate with their fellow women. Having that well in the village deprived them of the closest thing to freedom that existed in their lives.

So do you think that women living under such rigid control of their lives get any say at all regarding how and when they engage in sex? You think that "No" is an option for them, much less having their thoughts on any relevant issue allowed to be expressed much less listened to?

Quite frankly, I was astounded to see that in a contemporary movie out of Hollywood, which typically does everything possible to communicate the exact opposite about life in the Muslim world. I have to admit that I developed a little bit of respect for Ms. Fey knowing that she almost certainly had to fight to have that scene included in a film that was otherwise marketed to be fluffy feminist comedy. As we've seen over the last decade or so, traditional feminism has sunk to the near bottom of the Progressive Values Totem Pole, especially when pitted against the interests of Islam.

Is this to suggest that this extreme is the case for all women in the Muslim world? No, of course not. The Taliban and their ISIS cousins represent the most extreme of versions of life under Islam. But just for the sake of comparison, remember that it was only last year that in a supposed "modern" Muslim country that women have gained the right just to operate an automobile, not that there still isn't resistance to the movement.

This has already crept all over western Europe. And it's starting to happen here too, although just as it's been denied to be happening in Europe, it's not openly discussed here either. And it probably won't be until our public officials start doing what many in Europe have been for years now; telling western women that it's probably just better for themselves and everyone else if they just dress more modestly, cover up, or not be seen in public without a male escort.