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Friday, August 14, 2020

Okay, 2020, We Get The Joke Already

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, broken wrist, Mrs J, fuck 2020
Thanks to medical science, Mrs. J will someday be able to wave again. Or at least give the finger.
It's getting a bit embarrassing to keep making blog posts about the fact that I can't really guarantee blog posts for awhile. And yet, here we are.

Recently, Mrs. J sustained a compression fracture in her spine which is not only painful in its own right, but also gave her a condition called "foot drop" which makes walking difficult, and greatly increases the risk of taking a fall. Which is, of course, exactly what happened on Wednesday afternoon. We were in the back yard planning some gardening chores when Mrs. J's foot snagged on an uneven service and she fell, hard, onto concrete.

This only days after receiving a diagnosis of severe osteoporosis, and a printout from the doctor saying "try to avoid falling." Which, to be fair, was topnotch advice.

At the Emergency Room, X-rays showed broken bones. Before splinting, Mrs. J was hooked up to the contraption above to slowly pull the bones back into alignment and, possibly, force her to reveal troop movements. Everything was then wrapped in bandages and her arm was put in a sling. Oddly, no pain meds were prescribed, which we're really puzzling over right now for all the wrong reasons. Damnit.

She was supposed to have the splint replaced by a cast today, but the orthopedic surgeon has decided to wait for a week to see if things are healing in a good way or not. Because "not" is what he's thinking, and the likelihood of surgery has been raised.

So this is sort of a rough time with a lot of forced changes in our daily lives, which makes it likely that I'll only post an actual cartoon if I get a "bolt of lightning" idea which is too good to waste. And that happens with a fair amount of frequency.

In any event, the blog will be here and I'll be here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but things are going to be patchier than usual for awhile.

BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE...


We're absolutely in favor of responsible mask-wearing during the pandemic. Still, we had to laugh when Joe Biden, following his stern statement that if he were president he'd make mask-wearing mandatory, managed to cover his entire face just before wandering offstage.

Forget the White House - someone get this guy a white cane!

50 comments:

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Owie. Please pass on my best wishes to Mrs. J for a speedy, painfree recovery.

As for Alzheimer's Joe...well, he can just follow his nose, I suppose. Maybe with some help from his VP candidate, Talcum X...

Mike aka Proof said...

Wishing Mrs. J all the best. Get well soon.

Note to self: Disable trip wires during daylight hours!

Pat Cummings said...

Foot drop is no joke. A vet friend in California managed with it for a while, then fell down a three-step flight of stairs (concrete, outside) and broke his neck.

Ramps are a good idea...

mamafrog said...

Damn, Bubba, quit shoving your wife when she isn't moving fast enough for you! Seriously, maybe you guys need to just stay inside for awhile and chill, hmmm? You guys are getting scary and I know it's hot enough there to make it necessary to be inside more. All the best to her, too.

wr-104 said...

need pain meds? what's your address?

wr-104 said...

need pain meds? what's your address?

Terry said...

Praying for your family especially Mrs. J. In life it will come and it will go. Most things do. Have faith.

Mike said...

I have foot drop. Luckily it's my left foot so I can still drive an automatic. I've had it for over ten years and we think it came from a spine injury about 35 years ago. I've went through 3 different braces. They really work but you have to wear shoes and not the kind of shoes that woman like to wear. Falling hurts, I know from way to much experience. I hope she gets better soon.

Jee said...

Poor Mrs. J! I’ve fallen on concrete and broken things, too, and it’s no picnic. No pain medicine?! I can’t imagine. God speed to you both.

Savannah Sue said...

Praying for Mrs. J and wishing her pain-free healing in a jiffy. Can’t live without your Blog Stilt, especially in these trying times...and laughter IS the best medicine!❤️🙏🏼

Rod said...

Dang kids, this had indeed been a rough year for ya'll. Hang in there. (See what I di... oh never mind). Maybe a palm-reader among us can tell you when this run will get better. Good luck and strong karma for proper healing.

Brie Camembert said...

My best wishes for speedy and complete healing for Mrs J. In case of pain, dig out the Clan McGregor (for either or both of you).

jimbro said...

1. Hopefully surgery can be avoided. If not it may allow a speedier recovery in terms of moving the wrist and avoiding stiffness in the wrist and fingers
2. Those were called Chinese finger traps in the past but in these more PC times are now referred to as finger traps
3. As an orthopedic surgeon and a guy with foot drop I know all too well the pain from a fall. As I age and in my quest to avoid the need for my colleagues services I’ve begun using a stick for outdoor walking and more importantly, slowed way down. My mind moves faster than my feet these days and I’ve saved myself from a lot of falls by consciously slowing down. It took years and many falls for me to finally get it
4. I’m hoping treatment for the osteoporosis is coming soon!

shifty said...

Prayers to you guys. Thanks for laughs. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Awww, you and the Ms J, certainly are having a spell of bad luck.. Prayers for y'all.. Hoping things turn around for the better.. Old age is creeping up on us all.. So be safe, as we maneuver thru life, and the curves she throws at us.. Speaking of curves, a few pictures of Busty Ross would be great for those 'off days'. Take care of the family..
Danger Will Robinson

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Thanks for the good wishes!

@Mike aka Proof- Oh, NOW you tell me to disable the trip wires!

@Pat Cummings- Trust me, Mrs J won't be using any stairs in the foreseeable future. By which I mean "ever."

@mamafrog- Mrs. J has already declared that she's not leaving the house. I, on the other hand, need to mow the lawn today - a different kind of Hell in a Texas summer.

@wr-104- I appreciate the implied offer, but we'll handle things on this end. The pain medication she got for the spine fracture seemingly does nothing, and she was prescribed nothing new or different for the broken wrist. My mission for today is to change that situation.

@Terry- We'll get through this, but it's going to be a hard slog for awhile.

@Mike- I've seen some foot braces that will work with the tennis shoes (are they even called that anymore?) that Mrs. J favors. She's getting physical therapy - or was until this happened - but if braces are called for we'll absolutely get them!

@Jee- I'm hoping that there's just some confusion between multiple doctors, multiple meds, and multiple instructions. At the moment, we're under the impression she can't even take ibuprofen, but I can't believe that. It's early as I write this, but when office hours start I'm going to be working the phones heavily.

@Savannah Sue- The blog and I will still be here, with a possible touch of irregularity. It IS important to keep laughing!

@Rod- If we had a palm reader come to visit, she'd probably bring Covid-19 with her...

@Brie Camembert- Alcohol isn't allowed with Mrs J's meds, darn it. A drop or two of Clan MacGregor has accidentally spilled into MY ginger ale from time to time, though.

@jimbro- 1) Yes, it sounds like surgery might speed healing. Though the need for surgery would be based solely on getting the bones to mends correctly. 2) Yes, those things ARE Chinese finger traps whatever we're officially allowed to call them now. 3) Mrs J was moving slowly when she took the spill - only intending to walk about 3 feet. 4) We're working on the osteoporosis treatment and may have it within days (it was already in the works before this).

@shifty- All prayers and good wishes are much appreciated!

@Danger Will Robinson- We already knew that Old Age was creeping up on us, we just didn't know it was carrying such a heavy club. And yes, I'll probably ask Busty to help with the workload here online.

Sue Speck said...

Mrs J and you are both on my prayer list for the duration. May the misery be exceedingly brief and the healing come quickly and completely.

Snark said...

Prayers and best wishes for both of you. This has indeed been a pain in the ass year for both of you. Gravity likes to play tricks by turning itself up right when you least expect - or want it. I find the older I get the more that happens. Damn gravity!

Anonymous said...

Take care of what is really important - your wife's recovery from injury is that. Blogging during that time is a lesser priority. Prayers for both of you to deal with the injuries.

Bruce Bleu said...

I would avoid letting Mrs. J give you a "high five" for a bit.

Jerome Boyle said...

Hey, seriously -- I pray for you guys. JB

Sally Jo said...

I've had my hand in one of those contraptions. No fun!

Prayers for your wife for a speedy non-surgical recovery!

Boligat said...

Sorry to hear about your family troubles. Best wishes for all of you.

Now, about the mask joke. A few days ago in Walmart I saw a man wearing a mask that looked eerily like his wife's thong worn upside down. I kid you not. Oh, wait. . .

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Boligat: Yanno, I USED to think seeing U of A Razorback lingerie here in Arkansas was weird, but that beats it all to hell...

Don in Oregon said...

Trump:

Defeat the China Virus
Rebuild American manufacturing
Build America into a Center of Medical Manufacturing
Move Millions of Manufacturing Jobs Back to America
Using Tariffs to Fight for Fair Trade
Put Workers Fie


Biden:

Nationwide mask mandate, even outdoors

TrickyRicky said...

Ouch. That apparatus on Mrs. Jarlsbreg's hand is straight out of a medieval nightmare.Prayers for the both of you.

Don't get me started on the horrible unexpected consequences of the opioid crisis. People that really, really need effective pain medications can't get them while the streets have enough supply to kill tens of thousands of "recreational" users per annum. Upside down, like so much in out contemporary world.

MAJ Arkay said...

Stilt, if Mrs. J. is on any prescriptions meds, call her pharmacist and ask about any interactions with pain meds, before you waste a bunch of time calling the doctors. Why? Because your pharmacist knows the answer, and once you're armed with that, you can tell the doctors which pain meds are usable.

I deal with this all the time, since Spousal Unit takes a very necessary medication that reacts so badly with opioids it could kill him. Do the doctors know that? Not until I tell them. Every. Single. Time!

tired farmer said...

Prayers for healing. Take great care of your better half, she'd do it for you. Trust me, been there done that. We will be patiently waiting for updates along with future bits of wisdom.

John the Econ said...

Ugh! So sorry, Mrs. J! So this is your latest chapter of 2020: Some sort of enhanced industrial-strength Chinese finger trap.

You are both in my prayers for a rapid recovery.

Yeah, I found that doctors in our parts have gotten very stingy as well with the pain meds because they're all under a microscope due to the illegal opioid situation. That was a fun thing to find out while passing a kidney stone a few years ago. So once again, honest citizens are made to suffer because of the behavior of criminals. The meth heads living at the river got to continue their lifestyle unmolested while I writhed in agony. Thanks government!

I you need any ideas for cartoons, I think I have a few. Some might even be extra offensive.

Rod said...

If going on strong pain meds it's best to then schedule and do a VERY gradual but complete withdrawal when possible. Probably should not try to go off cold-turkey; so try to minimize use. Count the grains per day with whole, half or quarter pills and vary the time increments to steadily wean off. OTC stuff can help fill any pain gaps.. but get advice on that too.
Good luck with the recovery

smokepole said...

Please heal up soon Mrs. J
Mr. J - keep keeping on..
best regards -
thom

DougM said...

All the best to Ms J (I have a similar spine/walking issue),
but if she'd'a been wearin' a mask like the gummint said to,
mebbe that fall wouldn't'a happened

Sortahwitte said...

Praying for a speedy recovery for Mrs.J. Sorta and Sioux.

Pat Cummings said...

@MAJ Arkay, @Mrs. Stilt & the Reverend OP: YES! People tend to ignore the resource that is their pharmacist. 'Course, if you're buying your meds from "Canada Online Pharmacy," you don't have that access, but when you get your prescriptions from a local pharmacy, you've got an expert near to hand who not only knows drug interactions, but is also familiar with your med history.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

I was planning to bitch about my troubles, but now they seem minor. Best wishes for you and yours. I will say I've been unable to visit Stilton's Place since Aug. 5 because Frontier Internet. About an hour ago they finished converting me over to a new provider. Hoping for the best.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

@Jimbro. Good advice. My problem is find a pair of shoes with flat bottoms, rather than the usual corrugated/Vibram-type soles that seem to catch on everything, including carpet and the asphalt on the street. Nice for mountain climbing, but for ordinary walking, not good.

Best wishes to Mrs. J. Please keep us posted, Stilt, but if you need time off, take it. Your wife is far more important than anything else.

Dan said...

Gee--if Mrs J had that contraption on in the first place, she wouldn't've fallen all the way down and hurt herself.

But Mrs J, get better soon, and Stilton, at least 1/3 of the Stilton household is still in good condition, I trust.

Prayers for all of you.

igor said...

"Somebody get that guy a white cage", you mean. FIFY

Anonymous said...

Best wishes for Mrs. J.
Take care of business. We'll still be here.
.
NSF

Mike said...

Sacred Heart Novena for Mrs. J.

Best,

Mike

Anonymous said...

OK. You have given me years of amusement, so I feel the need to give back. Please, setup a GoFundMe, or something like that, and we (at-least-me) will give you a couple of bucks or more to help the medical bills you are obviously facing.

No, this is not charity, this is Family. For 8+ years now, you've given me (all of us) a laugh a couple of times a week, and now it is time for us to return the favor.

Please, tell us where to donate, and we'll be there for you.

Linda Fox said...

Good luck to her. At a certain age, falls are a big problem. I've had two in the last 3 years; broken bones both times.
Call the doctor and get the meds - it makes a huge difference to sleep.
I'll pray for her recovery.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Anonymous: I'm in on that go fund me if it gets set up. Agree with your sentiments 100%.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- First, thanks for all the good wishes and prayers! I apologize for not being in better touch, but things are sort of busy, busy, busy here in terms of chores I need to do (which is in direct conflict with my basic laziness). Just so you know, the situation in my home is actually good and mostly normal, except for the fact that Mrs J needs to resign herself to healing instead of much else for awhile.

We got an upgraded pain med, though happily she hasn't needed to use it yet. We'll be very circumspect and not end up with any addiction issues, I promise. In fact, most of the pills may end up in the back of the refrigerator for future disasters. Doctors are indeed wary of giving opiates to people these days, which isn't a bad thing - except when it's blatantly obvious that someone isn't pretending to have a broken arm just to get a quick fix. Plus, doctors are reluctant to give the (ahem) "good stuff" to people past Medicare age. Still, we're set for now.

I'm touched by the idea that people would like a Go Fund Me page to contribute to, but you're obviously grossly overestimating the price of Clan MacGregor. Seriously, nothing that's happening now is outside of our ability to comfortably pay for - we've spent a combined lifetime of being frugal, being savers, and being hard workers...and also had a little luck in the stock market. So there are no financial worries on this end, as long as Democrats aren't in control (gulp).

Clearly, we're not going through anything here that a lot of you haven't experienced (or worse), so the camaraderie here is really the best gift you can give us.

I'll still be here and my sense of humor is intact (and Daughter J is here at home helping with the workload) so I just ask your indulgence on days when I can't quite find time to do a really good post. I'll almost always do at least a crappy post, because I have a flawed but functioning work ethic!


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

(thumbs up for Stilton and family) You've been here for us, so it's only fair that we're here for you. :)

Pat Cummings said...

"...you're obviously grossly overestimating the price of Clan MacGregor..."

There's that basic frugality to which you referred!

Bruce Bleu said...

I was going to offer some Aberlour Spayside 18, but if you have your heart set on Clan MacGregor... I'm not one to argue.

Shelly said...

I'm late to this post but wanted to put my two cents in to wish Mrs. J. a speedy recovery and I'm happy she now has the meds if she needs them. I've been prescribed hydrocodone and tramadol for hip replacement surgery and total mouth implants oral surgery recently. I only take them when really needed and like you hoard the rest for any upcoming unexpected pain (lower back especially). I don't understand why doctors are so stingy with them for us seniors, like we can't control ourselves. I remember when my mother was going through her last illness before she died (COPD) and was in constant pain. The doctors were reluctant to give her morphine because she might become addicted - as she was dying! You can't make this stuff up.

Anonymous said...

"Try to avoid falling."

Personally, I've tried to follow this excellent advice ever since I was an infant.

Joe Jetson said...

Best wishes for healing Mrs. J.

Alternative Speech Baloon for Biden mask cartoon: "Must have the damn thing on backwards again."