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Monday, January 11, 2021

Thanks, 2021!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, 2021, miss me yet, 2020, trump, biden, capitol, demonstration
Well THAT didn't take long

So here we are, at the dawn of (as the Chinese curse goes) an interesting time. Social media and big tech are coming down hard on Conservatives to make sure they can't continue using that dangerous "Freedom of Speech" thing, and there no longer seems to be any limit - any - on the Leftists' demands to remake our country to their liking. In fact, the only thing currently protecting Conservatives is the Left's inability to figure out how to send us all to the ovens without creating billowing clouds of polar bear-threatening carbon emissions.

And it's no wonder the Leftists are so angry, considering that the Constitution still (albeit temporarily) allows human monsters to write horrible things like this:

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, 2021, miss me yet, 2020, trump, biden, capitol, demonstration, jarlsberg gazette, headlines

So what does all of this mean for Stilton's Place? Frankly, we're not sure yet. While we hope it doesn't happen, it's entirely possible that this site (and its predecessor) could be made to disappear with the flick of a switch. 

So before that happens, make sure you've added your current contact information to our email list (just click on the giant words "CLICK HERE!" near the top of the left column. Or do it here, for that matter). Do this today. Right now. That way, we can still be in touch if things go sideways here in 1984-land. And your information is always 100% safe with us: we never spam, and we'll never, ever give up your information

And just so you know how serious we are about that, at all times we keep a small, tooth-colored pill concealed between our cheek and gums. Should we face brutal interrogation, we'll crack that pill with our teeth and then... Well, seeing as how the pill is just a Tic-Tac, our tormentors will get a forceful blast of peppermint-fresh breath as we tell them to get stuffed.

We're also archiving everything from Hope n' Change and Stilton's Place in convenient PDF form, and will soon be posting and/or emailing links where you can download ("for fwee," as Kamala might say) all 12 years of tasty conservative comedy and commentary to enjoy when you're quietly hiding in your attic from the Woke Gestapo.

And hey, even if they hear you laughing up there, they won't come up - they're scared of spiders.

57 comments:

Sortahwitte said...

I, honestly, won't be surprised at anything that happens. Fweedom!

Michael said...

I think Biden will try for our guns, BUT it will be like Canada. No company will want the job.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I have not enjoyed my 10 day free trial of 2021. May I have my money back, please?

Painterdude said...

Stilt, I’ve been following you since the early days... I proudly wore your watch on TV, and it made it past the very liberal editors and production company owners- I snuck in other signals as well, which will remain secrets to myself and observant watchers... God Bless you brother, I feel like you’re a friend I’ve never met- a man I would love to hang with and have a glass of crappy booze while we watch the world implode... thank you for the years of chuckles and mild distractions.. at times, it’s much needed.

Popular Front said...

'our tormentors will get a forceful blast of peppermint-fresh breath as we tell them to get stuffed'

Stilton, that is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time and matches my attitude AND sense of humour perfectly.

Gigi said...

Stilt, Thanks for your very funny column tonight.I needed those laughs. No one does tragedy/comedy like you! A master of truth laced with humor, poignancy and love of country.

Anonymous said...

I'll be making my dinner reservation at The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe. See all y'all there.

RayK

Bobo the Hobo said...

@MMM, I’m sorry. Did you read the fine print? You subscribed for a full year.

Bobo the Hobo said...

To quote our illustrious Vice President-elect, “Wolveweens!” (I’m sure she will tell us she said it at some point in her brilliantly diverse childhood ... possibly while attending dance school with Patrick Swazye).

NaCly Dog said...

Stilton

You are a national treasure. Be safe out there. The bad guys have no sense of humor.

Fred Ciampi said...

I FULLY SUPPORT PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP INVOKING MARTIAL LAW!!!!!

Fish Out of Water said...

From a bit more reflection, the out going President's end might be summed up by a rewrite of a 1960's song,

'I fought the Swamp and the Swamp won. I fought Swamp and the Swamp won'

Jim Irre said...

@NaCly Dog - I see what you did there! Clever!

Keep the faith Stilt!

Fish Out of Water said...

Given the tenor of some of the most extreme MoC (Pelsoi, Schumer, AOC and the beat goes on) after Wednesday's events, I would not be surprised to see a 'commission' created along the lines of the French Revolution's Committee for Public Safety, staffed by "progressives" followed by show trials.

Regnad Kcin said...

Can't wait for Unca Joe to come out with his version of "Victory Gin". I can already taste
the oily bilge now....

Anonymous said...

Good idea "backing up" those things that might be disappeared in a world filled with Social Justice enforced by people who value *Diversity*...
(* - that is thoughts that are Exactly what is approved and nothing more)

Our Betters are known for their Justice,
But even better known for their complete lack of any detectable sense of humor.
Even innocent chuckles will be frowned upon
by those who think they can control thought...
(Which is an inherent conflict they can't see, and is why they will fail)

While you didn't mention "backing-up Johnny Optimism,
Considering the Hatred they have for any humor, whether political or not, better safe than to loose anything that this world will have in short supply in the coming winter of our discontent.

As it has been stated on Firefly...
"So no more running; I aim to misbehave." - Malcolm Reynolds

MSG Grumpy

jpb252 said...

A few days after the election when it became obvious that Joe Biden was going to be our next president (yes, there was massive fraud), one of my neighbors asked me if I thought President Trump would leave office quietly and with dignity. I responded, "has Trump ever done anything quietly and with dignity in his life?"

Snark said...

It's always a good idea to have a backup of all your greatly appreciated work. There will also be alternative servers to host it. Google made it easy to use all of their platforms in order to be "competitive". But nothing is really "free", including, apparently, speech. All of our God given rights are under assault, more so if we actually dare to exercise them. Gab.com has seen so many new subscribers (over 500K on Saturday alone) that their servers have been overloaded. We can vote on commercial products with our feet and our money. We WILL vote at the polls in November 2022. Just let us know where to find you. We'll follow.

Edam Wensleydale said...

@ Fish: What I want to see is a Committee for the Encouragement of Others...

As in:

pour encourager les autres

French quotation from Voltaire

pour en·​cou·​ra·​ger les autres | \ pür-äⁿ-kü-rä-zhā-lā-zōtrᵊ \

Definition of pour encourager les autres: in order to encourage the others —said ironically of an action (such as an execution) carried out as a warning to others


Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Snark: "God-given". Their god is government, and government gave you no such rights. And, based on 2020, voting has been rendered pointless. The polls will say what they want them to say. The seeds of our undoing appear to have grown into mighty, mighty oaks.

By the way: Mrs. Limburger lost her battle and is with the true God. Thank you for the cyber-hug back in October, Stilt.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Oh, dear. (hug) My thoughts and prayers are with you, Em...

American Cowboy said...

@ Emmentaler Limburger

Even though I only know you here on these pages please accept my sympathies. I have a heavy heart for you.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I think we could all use a hearty laugh, so here's something from another list:

Another mask fascist bites the dust

https://www.ar15.com/forums/General/Someone-just-said-the-nicest-thing-to-me-/5-2412569/

So my friend Rocky swung by the house and caught me as I was getting
ready to leave to get a few things at the supermarket. He wanted to talk
so I told him to hop in with me.

Now Rocky is blessed with a cheerful disposition and cursed with the
face of a man that has just been released from two decades of prison
hard time even though he probably doesn't have a parking ticket. In a
way he reminds me of Danny Trejo, the actor that specialized in slasher
films and plays convicts. He's also pretty big.

Anyway, we were entering the supermarket but were well clear of it. I
had just donned my mask and Rocky was fishing his out when some Karen
snapped at him that he had better get his mask on.

Rocky is generally pretty fast on the uptake. He's kind and cheerful but
doesn't take a whole lot of shit. He's fast but I was faster.

"Lady, that my WIFE you're talking to," I snapped. You better gove the
love of my life an apology before she bitch slaps you across the parking
lot!"

Her look of confusion and fear was something to behold. She was looking
at an angry 70 year old man and a man of about 45 years old that looked
like he had just been released from Sing Sing that was supposed to be
his wife. She didn't know what to do so she went straight to woman's
default.

She instantly turned on the water works and started blubbering out an
apology. "I didn't know he's your wife," she sobbed.

"Well, you knew she's somebody's wife," I shot back. "You owe my wife an
apology!"

She blubbered out a quick apology and fled.

I looked at Rocky who was beet red. He looked at me and stuttered, "I'm
your WIFE? I ought to beat the hell out of you for that little stunt!"
Then he settled down a bit. He shook his head sadly, laughed and said
told me I was unfit to be taken out in public.

What a wonderful compliment!

Anonymous said...

Time to BOYCOTT

Twitter
Facebook
Apple
Amazon
Google
Reddit
Snap

Any additions?

Brie Camembert said...

Come the Revolution, everyone will do as they wish, whether they wish to or not!

Meanwhile :"Non illigitimus carborundum (Don't let the b*stards grind you down)

I'll be voting for @RealRonaldGrump in 2024 ;-)

Anonymous said...

This is not 1984: it is 1933: the Reichstag fire. Be ready.

VideomanSS said...

1984!! It has finally arrived. Hopefully we will not be this way for long ... but, who knows with the evil in WA DC. We will all be here in the days to come but you never know. Hang in there!!

John the Econ said...

4 years ago I might have argued that this level of paranoia was just ideologically reactionary, but no longer. And watching people who still ironically call themselves "liberal" cheering large monopolistic mega-tech companies colluding to shut down smaller players because they don't like the speech they're told exists on their platforms is simply chilling. I try to be subtle and say "I'm old enough to remember when the left abhorred large corporations just for being large corporations. Today they're cheering them on for engaging in actual fascism", but they're too far gone to appreciate that and the irony of it all.

We are the "liberals" now.

Those who advocate the shutting down of free speech as the answer to preventing violence are dismally wrong. When you eliminate the ability to engage in free discourse, you leave no other avenue for people to pursue than violence.

John the Econ said...

@Fish Out of Water said "Given the tenor of some of the most extreme MoC (Pelsoi, Schumer, AOC and the beat goes on) after Wednesday's events, I would not be surprised to see a 'commission' created along the lines of the French Revolution's Committee for Public Safety, staffed by "progressives" followed by show trials."

They're way ahead of you:

"When this nightmare is over, we need a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It would erase Trump’s lies, comfort those who have been harmed by his hatefulness, and name every official, politician, executive, and media mogul whose greed and cowardice enabled this catastrophe."

https://twitter.com/rbreich/status/1317614803704115200?lang=en

Fish Out of Water said...

@Anonymous Edam Wensleydale: Never have put much stock in French "philosophers", in fact among them, Rousseau and his crackpot, cockamamie idea of 'The State of Nature" is directly responsible for the chaos, misery, and tears of the 20th Century and today.

@Regnad Kcin: I'll bet 8 out of ten under 30 somethings wouldn't get your reference to 'Victory Gin'

Murphy(AZ) said...

Somewhere in my basement, covered under a dusty old tarp, is a mimeograph machine. It was "liberated" from my old high school during Senior Prank Week, and, well, I "forgot" to return them. The old school was replaced by a condo complex, and everything about my place of education has been erased from the face of the planet.

The old machine might need some oil, and I suppose there are "expendable" parts that will need to be replaces, but everything I might need is available (for the moment) from an assortment of sources for a price.

While I might not be able to reach out to Stilton's Minions, I can reach out to a few hundred people at a time, and it will make the basement smell SO GOOD!

Fish Out of Water said...

@John the Econ: coming from who is coming from, why am I not surprised. But chilling indeed it is.

igor said...

"When this nightmare is over, we need a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It would erase Trump’s lies, comfort those who have been harmed by his hatefulness, and name every official, politician, executive, and media mogul whose greed and cowardice enabled this catastrophe."

Oh, you mean like:
Twitter
Facebook
Apple
Amazon
Google
Reddit
Snap
The Lamestream Enemedia
Unelected Federal and State Bureaucrats
?
The list can surely be a Looooooooonge One!

Murphy(AZ) said...

Somewhere in my basement, covered under a dusty old tarp, is a mimeograph machine. It was "liberated" from my old high school during Senior Prank Week, and, well, I "forgot" to return them. The old school was replaced by a condo complex, and everything about my place of education has been erased from the face of the planet.

The old machine might need some oil, and I suppose there are "expendable" parts that will need to be replaces, but everything I might need is available (for the moment) from an assortment of sources for a price.

While I might not be able to reach out to Stilton's Minions, I can reach out to a few hundred people at a time, and it will make the basement smell SO GOOD!

Colby Muenster said...

@Stilton,
I'm fairly certain most our elitist "superiors" would gladly suspend their disdain for fires that cause climate change if it meant they could get rid of all opposition voices.

I'm especially pissed that Pelosi's gestapo are in full overdrive to "get Trump" now that they have the House and Senate. Trump could get the last laugh in a big way if he would just resign on January 19th, then President Pence gives him a full and unconditional pardon for all crimes both real and imagined, past and future.

@anonymous,

I think all 70+ million people who voted for Donald Trump should boycott the IRS come April. Does the IRS have enough manpower to investigate 70 million people? Of course, the way things are going, they may just herd us all into boxcars and take us to the showers.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sortahwitte- I'm sort of losing my capacity for surprise, too.

@Michael- I agree that a play will be made to take guns, but it will fail miserably. Even if Beto O'Rourke is indeed appointed to be the Collection Czar.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- In the fine print of the label, it did say that 2021 may cause stomach distress, vomiting, and hallucinations.

@Painterdude- I'd greatly enjoy having that drink with you, sir. Maybe someplace where I can order a nice BLT. (grin)

@Popular Front- Glad you liked that goofy line. It was fun to write!

@Gigi- Some wit once observed that the difference between tragedy and comedy is whether a bad thing happened to you or someone else. That's always been pretty close to my outlook on life, which is why "Johnny Optimism" is such a natural outlet for my sense of humor.

@RayK- Don't even look at the menu, just ask the waiter for the "42." It comes with everything.

@Bobo the Hobo- And there's no way to turn off the auto-renewal...

@NaCly Dog- I'm not sure if I'm a national treasure or an endangered species (wry grin).

@Fred Ciampi- Stand back, everybody! Fred is using ALL CAPS!

@Fish Out of Water- It looks that way, doesn't it?

@Jim Irre- Thanks!

@Fish Out of Water- Don't tell anyone, but I think there's big money to be made in guillotine-proof steel neck implants!

@Regnad Kcin- FINALLY something lower that Clan MacGregor on the booze pyramid!

@MSG Grumpy- I'm backing up "Johnny Optimism" too since, even though it's not political, it is "the fruit of a poison tree." Fortunately, about 80% of the strips are already backed up in the print collections on Amazon (hint: buy them while you can!)

@jpb252- Exactly. Trump's personal style has been a source of dismay to me since the beginning, but I eventually had to concede that no "dignified" approach could get anything done anymore.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Snark- I'm going to have to start looking into what it might take to jumpstart a new site using Wordpress and a non-Google hosting service. Which will be daunting - I literally don't know how to answer my smartphone. Although luckily, I'm not faced with that challenge very often - I also haven't memorized my phone number.

@Edam Wensleydale- Careful what you wish for!

@Emmentaler Limburger- Oh, no! Damn! I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. You're family here, and my heart goes out to you. I just tried to send you a personal note, but the address I have (from 2011) doesn't seem to be current. If there's anything I can do, even if only friendly chat, please reach out to me!

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I so hope that's a true story!

@Anonymous- We also need to boycott Heinz ketchup. It has nothing to do with this current mess, but I'm still pissed at John "Mr. Ketchup Heiress" Kerry.

@Brie Camembert- Words of wisdom!

@Anonymous- Yeah, this is starting to feel more like history-in-the-making than literature...

@VideomanSS- I read today that Cumulus Radio, which owns roughly a jillion radio stations across the country, has told their conservative talk radio hosts that if they mention election fraud, or contesting the election, on the air they'll be immediately fired. I haven't listened to our local Cumulus talk radio station (WBAP, Dallas) today to hear if the microphones have been lowered to kneeling level.

mamafrog said...

@Stilton Jarlsberg, can't use wordpress, they are deplatforming consevatives. You could try Clouthub as soon as they are back up and running.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- We've always kicked around that this sort of purge was possible, but who expected it to hit this hard and fast? My mind is frankly reeling from trying to make sense of where we are and where we're going. And worrying about how much worse it's going to get. Will my assets be seized to pay reparations for the damage done by my conservative rhetoric (ie, hate speech)? Will I be cut off from (ahem) "decent" society for having heinously supported things like school choice for minorities?

And yes, cutting off peaceful dissenting opinions can't possibly play out well in the long run.

@Fish Out of Water- I think you're being generous estimating that only 8 out of 10 under-30-somethings would be baffled by the reference.

@Murphy(AZ)- I get woozy just remembering mimeograph fumes. Hopefully you won't need to fire that machine up, but lay in some supplies in case you have to become the new Thomas Paine.

@igor- Good point. There are a lot of very guilty parties in this mess, and they ain't on our side.

@Colby Muenster- I'm hoping for the scenario you describe: Trump resigns and Pence pardons him, his family, and everyone else that has been persecuted for the past four years.

And I like the idea of the IRS boycott, but I just mailed the Feds my latest quarterly pre-payment. Fortunately, even though it was a lot of money to me, it won't be enough for the gummint to do too much damage with.

@mamafrog- Thanks for the heads up on Wordpress. Bastards!

John the Econ said...

Boycotting the IRS: The problem here is that most Americans still have too much to lose. But after so many years of chipping away at people's accumulated wealth either directly or though inflation and economic decay that will no longer be the case. At that point I'd expect things to get seriously ugly in a way where nobody will come out ahead. But that's the one thing that socialism excels at.

@Stilton, a few years ago I read one of Thomas Friedman's latest books. Yes, he's an ironically unaware Progressive hypocrite, but he does occasionally make salient social/economic observations. The one that caught me this time was about the acceleration of "change" that fundamentally alters society. It used to be that society got a generation or more to adapt to large changes. Think electrification or the automobile. But in recent decades, the rate of change has been happening faster, promulgated by widespread and more democratized affluence and information technologies. This gives those of a society less time to adapt comfortably. Today, change that we used to not think of happening for decades is now happening in years or less. Now months of change are being compressed into weeks. What was unthinkable a year ago is now happening. The result is uncertainty, anxiety, and ultimately violence.

So the literal 1984-like society that in our worst dreams we really didn't think could happen for a few more decades 12 months ago is now literally in sight. Today! 12 months ago, our mainstream society was critical of the behavior of the Chinese Communist Party. Today, they're demanding that the Democrats behave just like them!

Where is Alibaba's founder & CEO Jack Ma? He hasn't been seen or heard of since giving a speech that was less than gracious to the Chinese government.

I don't think that has been lost on the tech billionaires who have almost universally fallen in line with the interest and will of the Democrats. Oh sure, they might not get "disappeared" like Jack Ma, but they'll certainly be threatened.

But then again, considering the accelerating rate of change as Thomas Friedman points out, by next year perhaps they should be concerned about being disappeared. My guess is that most of these guys are keeping their jets fueled and flight crews on 24/7 standby.

Fish Out of Water said...

On my FB feed is a Pelosi meme of Pelosi and behind her is a portrait of what appears to be Thadeaus Steven's, one of the Radical Rapublicans of so-called Reconstruction. OS so, that speaks volumes and volumes. Either I am not savvy enough to find a way to post it here or..

Graham McDonald said...

I guess we're now a "democracy", so some of the prohibitions in the old Constitution no longer hold.

Will Old White Joe be King? Hand out "Titles" for elites, Knighthoods for groundlings?

I never really worried about English titles, so I checked them out. Ran into:

Nobility: Earl (Countess) Before the titles of Duke and Marquess were developed, Earl used to be the highest rank in English aristocracy and was after the King. The term is derived from old Norse word, jarl, which means warrior or nobleman. The title began to be used in Britain in c.800.

ChiefD said...

Still waiting for packages 'Express Delivery' from the 1st of December (about A DOZEN) so I don't think we can even rely on Paul Revere's heirs to deliver "snail mail" anymore. As the Brits say "Spicy Times" or "a bit of a bother" (in reference to WW2)

Sortahwitte said...

Has anyone elses youtube feed gone completely batshit tonight? There are channels on there that I have never heard of. Some are pro-trump, some are pro-democracy, some have writing in vietnamese. There are some reporting various types of national guard and Marines in full combat gear in dc. Some are plausible, some are wayyyyyyy out of left field.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Sortawitte: My feed looks perfectly normal. Subway trains, the Lone Ranger cartoon from 1966, Vice Grip Garage and Farrah Fawcett on the Dating Game.

ChiefD said...

Update @ 2300Mt. GAB seems to have fallen to a DDOS - can't log on because of "5 seoond check of your Browser" that lasts until you leave. Also AR15.com booted from GoDaddy confirmed. Getting Spicy at warp speed. See you on the other side. Chief D.

Anonymous said...

MORE boycotts

Pausing all political spending: American Airlines (NASDAQ:AAL), Archer Daniels Midland (NYSE:ADM), BlackRock (NYSE:BLK), Boston Scientific (NYSE:BSX), BP (NYSE:BP), Charles Shwab (NYSE:SCHW), ConocoPhillips (NYSE:COP), Facebook (NASDAQ:FB), Google (GOOG, GOOGL), Kroger (NYSE:KR), Marathon Oil (NYSE:MRO), Microsoft (NASDAQ:MSFT), Union Pacific (NYSE:UNP), U.S. Bancorp (NYSE:USB) and UPS (NYSE:UPS).
Suspending donations to Republicans who objected to electoral votes: Airbnb (NASDAQ:ABNB), Amazon (NASDAQ:AMZN), American Express (NYSE:AXP), AT&T (NYSE:T), Comcast (NASDAQ:CMCSA), Dow Inc. (NYSE:DOW), General Electric (NYSE:GE), Mastercard (NYSE:MA) and Verizon (NYSE:VZ).

Anonymous said...

So it has begun;

"Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the party is always right."

— George Orwell

chester arthur said...

This site still has the best commentary on the internet.I just thought of the perfect cartoon for the inaugural 'celebration'.Joe Biden,probably not wearing pants behind the podium,by the way,talking to'All of you who have supported me and elected me to this office.'The 'camera' turns to a sea of voting machines on the mall.Well,maybe not too many of them,after all,Biden never seemed to draw much of a real audience.As I think about it,the machines would probably be the seediest looking voting machines,with cigarette butts extinguished on the upper surface.and liquor bottles leaking out or broken on them.This kind of stuff comes to me while I'm working under my house.Maybe it's the mold or pesticides.

igor said...

@ChiefD, ar15.com is available at ar15-backup.com now.
Just so you know.

Sortahwitte said...

@3m. I sure wish I was normal. No, on second thought, no.

Gee M said...

FWEEDOM from WEPAWATIONS!!!

mamafrog said...

Worth listening to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q728ptTjEs0

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Mamafrog: However, this time the untermenschen are armed to the teeth and not concentrated in ghettos. ;-)

ringgo1 said...

@ Emmentaler Limburger: I am so sorry for your loss. My "child bride" (14 years younger than I am) died on 29 April 2019. I am still not "over it". You WILL survive. Take care of yourself.

mamafrog said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel I certainly hope it makes a difference. And tell Rocky we think he's absolutely lovely!

@ Emmentaler Limburger My heart goes out to you and your family, I'm so sorry for your loss, wish I could give you a real life hug.

John the Econ said...

@Emmentaler Limburger, so sorry. I know your life is irreparably changed, but I pray that you find peace.