Crowded Control

"Spring Forward" is not only the dreaded Daylight Saving Time curse (and the reason why this will be a short post so we can drink more coffee or throw up or something), it's also the Biden administration's enthusiastic advice to the illegal aliens who are hopping over our southern border even faster than we can hand out their Covid relief checks.

Part of this influx consists of the "unattended children" who, according to the mainstream media, were previously kept in cages by Donald "Heartless Nazi Bastard" Trump. But now, thanks to Joe Biden's more compassionate approach, those kids can only wish they were in cages instead of the sardine cans they're being packed in.

As a case in point, one tent complex was built to house a maximum of 250 migrants. But currently, it's at 729% capacity with 1,800 people jockeying for space, food, water, and air. Kids take turns sleeping on the floor, they're allowed one shower a week, and social distancing is impossible. All of which is apparently acceptable to an administration that thinks putting kids back in non-crowded classrooms is nightmarishly dangerous.

All of this is preventable, of course, through the simple (but politically unacceptable) expedient of closing our freaking border. An especially good idea considering the fact that the majority of the "unaccompanied children" entering our country aren't lovable little ragamuffins with dirt-streaked cheeks and "Save the Children" doe eyes, but are young testosterone-packed males between the ages of 15 and 17.  Not exactly the tykes you're likely to see dancing to mariachi tunes in the company of Barney el Dinosaurio.

Biden's laughably-named "immigration" policy is tearing families apart, overwhelming our support systems (and taxpayers), putting kids in unacceptably harsh confinement, destroying the meaning of citizenship and, oh yeah, causing deaths while enriching human traffickers. All to please the most radical elements of the Left. 

But Biden's oh-so-necessary spokespeople assure us that this isn't a crisis. Just a "new normal" that happens to be disastrous by design.

FROM THE VAULT: SPRING FORWARD, FALL TO PIECES

We'll apologize in advance if today's commentary lacks our usual snap, crackle, and pop, but we're suffering from a severe case of Daylight Saving Time-induced brain fog.

#BlackCoffeeMatters, but no amount of that precious, steaming, life-giving liquid is enough to repair the grievous damage inflicted on our internal biorhythms by a cruel and uncaring government.

Oh sure, some people (whom we might be married to) can laugh it off, but for many of us the struggle is real. Especially if different clocks in the house are showing pre-DST time, DST time, and (in the case of Mrs. J's bedroom alarm) DST time plus 20 minutes because she likes it that way and has never learned anything from old Frankenstein movies that show the disastrous folly of toying with Nature.

(We pause briefly for a sip from our fifth cup of coffee, and to strike a stunned, unmoving pose like a dopey version of Rodin's "The Thinker" while trying to remember where words come from, how to string them together, and...uh...what were we talking about?)

Research, which we're too damn tired to look up or link to, shows that there may well be no benefit from Daylight Saving Time whatsoever: not for farmers, not for school kids, not for energy savings, or anything else. That same research shows that after any Daylight Saving Time clock change, there are more heart attacks, more car crashes, and marked increases in stress and depression.

Even worse, there's a lot more drooling on desks, although researchers don't like to talk about it.

Recovering from this debilitating "time flu" generally takes us about two weeks. We were going to say "give or take an hour," only this is no laughing matter except to those who are, unforgivably, naturally perky.

On the plus side, where we're going the coffee will stay hot.