Nork, Nork! Who's There?

President Donald Trump bumfoozled the world and the media for the umpteenth time on Monday when he had a successful meeting with North Korea's nuke-happy little dictator, Kim Jung Un, to talk about a world in which neither nation has to reduce the other to glowing radioactive debris.

This has, of course, been derided by Trump's critics (and they are legion) as either a completely meaningless gesture or a godawful tragedy of historic proportions. If not both.

We see it a little differently. Donald Trump has opened the door for meaningful progress with North Korea...and it's far too early to know if it will pay off or not. That being said, even getting to this stage was considered impossible by previous administrations, so Trump deserves considerable credit.

Based on the progress made, it seems that Kim Jung Un is a little more willing to deal with a President who takes a tough stance ("I will bomb you so bigly that your entire country will be like molten lava spraying from the devil's butthole") rather than the more nuanced approach affected by Barack Obama.

And by nuanced, we mean acting like a prissy pantywaist when he watched North Korea launch test missiles towards Hawaii on the freaking 4th of July and still gave no more reaction than a cocked eyebrow, pursed lips, and an exasperated sigh.

It was basically the same sneering reaction Barry would have at a formal dinner if he spied someone incorrectly using a salad fork instead of the escargot fork...while completely losing sight of the more important fact that any fork is a danger in the hands of a volatile, sociopathic murderer.

Here at Stilton's Place, we still don't really understand Donald Trump...but we do understand winning and, from the Left, whining.

And currently we're enjoying both.

BONUS: NORM!!!

"Dammit Bill, don't get any of her blood on my private email server!"

Bill Clinton continues to be the anti-feminist gift that keeps on giving. When recently talking about disgraced former Senator Al Franken getting busted for fanny fondling, the syphilitic ex-president offered up this rationale as a feeble defense: "The norms have really changed in terms of what you can do to somebody against their will."

Apparently in Bill Clinton's world, there was once a "norm" in which it was okay to have state troopers drag women to his hotel room, it was okay to drop trow and do an enticing weenie-waggle, it was okay to take sexual advantage of women too young and stupid to know better, it was okay to shove cigars up their tunnel of love, it was okay to threaten women (or worse) who didn't keep their mouths shut and, of course, it was okay in Bill Clinton's "norm" to rape a woman and leave her bleeding in bed after chewing on her.

And the Left agreed, for decades, that this not only was the norm but it was empowering for women. Because otherwise, they'd have had to condemn Bill Clinton and the loathsome wife who enabled (and possibly encouraged?) this appalling behavior.

#MeToo is finally saying the things that conservatives had been saying all along. Welcome to the club, ladies.

Soros Loser

One of the easiest ways of gauging the success of the Trump administration is by checking the misery index of progressive billionaire troublemaker George Soros. It's a perfectly inverse (and perverse) relationship, in which the better things get, the worse Soros feels.

Which is why Soros's recent statement that "everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong," is a cause for celebration among those of us who actually love America.

The sloth-like Bond villain, who was utterly convinced that his contributions to Hillary Clinton would amount to the successful purchase of a President of the United States, now thinks he was "living in my own bubble." Which isn't really rare among ultra-weathy self-worshipping liberal whackjobs who believe their own methane emissions smell like rose blossoms.

Soros, who still receives royalties from Lucasfilms whenever Jabba the Hutt appears onscreen, is convinced that Donald Trump is "willing to destroy the world" by doing things like trying to get the North Koreans and Iranians to give up their nuclear ambitions and building a strong American economy in which fewer people become slaves to the state.

Actually, George, he's only destroying your world...and the dystopian nightmare that you and your hirelings had planned for us.

So let us rejoice in Soros's misery and also be reminded of a very important truth: money can't buy happiness or, in some cases, plastic surgery capable of removing really hideous eye bags.

BONUS: "...AND EAT IT, TOO."

What we lack in geopolitical economic expertise here at Stilton's Place, we make up for with succinctness.

Radical Moosedom Extremists

As the G7 Summit begins in Quebec, trade war tensions are crackling in the air. In part because prissy Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently asked how his country could possibly be a "national security issue" for the United States, after which political historian Donald Trump accused Canada of burning down the White House during the War of 1812...

In fairness, this is a traditional way for Canadians to keep warm.

Which they pretty much did, depending on how you want to parse the semantics: the White House pyromaniacs were technically British citizens at the time, but many of the torch-bearers were born Canucks as we know from their well-remembered battle cry: "So let's burn this place down, eh?"

With this in mind, we now take you on a trip into the recent past to remember how the chilling (literally) threat of Canadian terror was dealt with under Barack Hussein Obama...

FROM THE VAULT (Friday March 22, 2013)

Barack Hussein Obama kicked open the door for Mideast peace yesterday by sharing his insight that the relationship between Israelis and Palestinians is almost exactly the same as the relationship between Americans and Canadians.

Granted, the Canadians haven't sworn to wipe America off the face of the Earth, nor do they constantly barrage our cities with rockets and mortar rounds, or send suicide bombers to blow the hell out of innocents in public places. But other than that, those Canadians are really hateful bastards.

And yet, after centuries of bloodshed and warfare between our two nations, Barack Obama has finally managed to negotiate an uneasy peace with those snowbound, French-speaking assholes by recognizing their divine right to have their own nation-state separate from the United States, as well as the religious freedom to say "aboot" when the sons of bitches clearly mean "about."

And so too, according to the president, the Palestinians and Israelis can come to a meaningful peace by following our example and, perhaps, fielding hockey teams.

Or then again, maybe the Palestinians and Israelis can achieve a real peacemaking victory simply by finding just one thing that both sides can agree on.

We think "Barack Obama is a complete effing idiot" would be a really good start.

So, you know, you should watch for anything that's like syrup-titious, eh?