COMMENTS:

TO REACH THE COMMENTS SECTION, JUST CLICK ON THE TITLE OF EACH POST!

Friday, June 8, 2018

Radical Moosedom Extremists

As the G7 Summit begins in Quebec, trade war tensions are crackling in the air. In part because prissy Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently asked how his country could possibly be a "national security issue" for the United States, after which political historian Donald Trump accused Canada of burning down the White House during the War of 1812...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, war of 1812, canada, white house burns, trump, trudeau, G7, obama
In fairness, this is a traditional way for Canadians to keep warm.
Which they pretty much did, depending on how you want to parse the semantics: the White House pyromaniacs were technically British citizens at the time, but many of the torch-bearers were born Canucks as we know from their well-remembered battle cry: "So let's burn this place down, eh?"

With this in mind, we now take you on a trip into the recent past to remember how the chilling (literally) threat of Canadian terror was dealt with under Barack Hussein Obama...

FROM THE VAULT (Friday March 22, 2013)

obama, obama jokes, israel, palestine, canada, secret service, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, beaver, maple syrup

Barack Hussein Obama kicked open the door for Mideast peace yesterday by sharing his insight that the relationship between Israelis and Palestinians is almost exactly the same as the relationship between Americans and Canadians.

Granted, the Canadians haven't sworn to wipe America off the face of the Earth, nor do they constantly barrage our cities with rockets and mortar rounds, or send suicide bombers to blow the hell out of innocents in public places. But other than that, those Canadians are really hateful bastards.

And yet, after centuries of bloodshed and warfare between our two nations, Barack Obama has finally managed to negotiate an uneasy peace with those snowbound, French-speaking assholes by recognizing their divine right to have their own nation-state separate from the United States, as well as the religious freedom to say "aboot" when the sons of bitches clearly mean "about."

And so too, according to the president, the Palestinians and Israelis can come to a meaningful peace by following our example and, perhaps, fielding hockey teams.

Or then again, maybe the Palestinians and Israelis can achieve a real peacemaking victory simply by finding just one thing that both sides can agree on.

We think "Barack Obama is a complete effing idiot" would be a really good start.

obama, obama jokes, israel, palestine, canada, secret service, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, beaver, maple syrup, napolitano, terrorists
So, you know, you should watch for anything that's like syrup-titious, eh?

29 comments:

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- D'oh! Sorry today's post was late...I actually posted it on the old Hope n' Change site by accident!

Anonymous said...

Its so nice to have a president with balls again and a first lady without them.

REM1875 said...

I believe most of the the real Loonies are in ottawa !!!

Geoff King said...

With the majority of Canadians living just on the other side of the border, I have to wonder if an invasion could be in the works.
I do have a taste for some things Canadian. Black Velvet tops that list. I also like Molson Golden Ale. Tried Moosehead once, but the antlers got in the way.

McChuck said...

But remember, O'Bummer was the most smartest president evah!

TrickyRicky said...

@Geoff King- my favorite Canadian beer is Kokanee, from British Columbia, good stuff.

For a great conservative blog, with a Canadian POV, be sure to check out Small Dead Animals, run by Kate in Saskatchewan. Highly recommended.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilton, you HOSER... "take off", eh?

Michael McCaffery said...

I read many political and humor columns voraciously (some day I'll get a REAL life), and Stilton's Place always comes out on top, makes me feel that there are others out there with a sense of humor about the inane absurdities of this world in which we live, and I appreciate the opportunity to know that I'm NOT the only crazy person in the world.
March on!
Michael

Stinking Bishop said...

Oh, be fair about the Canadians. They're at least equally likely to say "aboat" as "aboot".

Greywuff zfavrr said...

I see the Progressive Conservative party of Ontario clobbered everyone in the most recent election, it was so bad that the Liberal Party (incumbents) lost official party status!.

CenTexTim said...

@Geoff King and TrickyRicky - I don't drink Canadian beer because I don't want to get drunk and all of a sudden start being polite to people...

One more:

Why do Canadians like to make love doggie style?
So they both can watch the hockey game.

Doug M said...

Hey, me ol' Dad was Canadian and he never once said…
Oh, wait, his answering machine message ended in ", eh?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Trudeau was known as "Prime Minister Center Fold" throughout the Toronto area (at a minimum) at the time of his election. Most figured it was the perception that he had better hair than Harper that carried him and his party to victory. That tells you all you need to know about both his ability to lead, and the mental condition of the Canadian electorate...

Sean said...

Canada: The nation that has fewer MRI machines in the whole of its' country, with its' "free" health care, than say oh, the city of St. Louis. Canada: the country that cannot field ONE combat ready brigade. Canada: the country that gave definition to the phrase and meaning of "straw man". Canada: the country where a deranged gunman ordered all the men in a college classroom to leave, which they meekly did, so the gunman could murder all the females, which he did while the meek men stood silent in the hallway. I wouldn't give you two squirts of piss for the lot of them. At this very moment, they are harboring terrorists and worse, and they have evil intent for their southern neighbors.

Rod said...

Over a career I've worked extensively and also imbibed quite a bit with a lot of Canadians; by far the vast majority are fine, friendly & hardworking; it's just in their seats of government they have serious problems. We have that in common.

And they are often hilarious. Such fun when we are all "oot and aboot".

Colby Muenster said...

Justin Trudeau can "out-moonbeam" Moonbeam Brown. How'd this girly man get elected to PM? Maybe Canadians ARE always drunk? Then again, we DID elect his girly man counterpart in 2008 and 2012.

Trudeau asks how Canada could possibly be a national security issue for the USA? How about, if we actually get the Southern border secured, where are the terrorists and other criminals going to try to gain entry next? That 5,525 mile long border between our countries, most of it unguarded, may look pretty inviting, I'd guess. However....

Good things from Canada:
Labatt's Blue
The Red Green Show
William Shatner
Michael J. Fox

@REM1875,
And the loonies in Ottawa want to get their grubby mitts on as many of the citizen's Loonies as possible. I don't know what their tax rate is, but would imagine the citizens are paying through the snoot for their "free" healthcare, much like Sweden.

Regnad Kcin said...

Things to be grateful for from Canada : Ice hockey, back bacon, Crown Royal, Tim Horton's, moose turd pie, Sgt. Preston and Yukon King, Mark Steyn, Tricia Helfer, Elisha Cuthbert, Cobie Smulders, Anna Paquin, Rachel McAdams, Nina Dobrev, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Jessica Pare, Stana Katic, etc......... So, they're not all anal polyps like Trudeau.......

Judi King said...

I've always liked Canadians but it seems they are in the same bout as the nice Californians..............bad elected officials.

Mike aka Proof said...

Obama would have trouble maintaining the legacy he desires if he never opened his mouth again. Instead, he says stupid, clueless things like comparing Palestinian terrorists to Canadians.
Let him blather on, until every America has the pinion of him that they should!

Robert Tatro said...

We demand reparations from Canada to pay to the African Americans for redoing the remodel after the big British burn even if today's Canadians had nothing to do with it. Oh wait..... never mind.

Rod said...

I had to go away to focus on other things for a while then also check some names; but one of the typical jokes told by a Canuck friend at the time occurred in mid seventies when Betty Ford quite notably underwent a procedure for breast cancer, while at same time Pierre Trudeau's wife Margaret Sinclair Trudeau (not TRULY their first Lady as they have none; but with the popularity of Mr. Trudeau and Margaret being the Prime Ministers wife: close enough. But then it became known that Mrs. Trudeau suffered from mental problems.

In our usual "We're better then you" back & forth... My friend remarked that their CANADIAN First Lady may be crazy, but at least she had both breasts. Score one for the Canucks.

Kate said...

Well, Canadians did foist Justin Bieber on to us. They clearly can't be trusted.

Sortahwitte said...

What?.........Who, me? Sorry. I was still thinking of Busty in the un-swimsuit competition.

Old Cannonballs said...

@ Rod: I think yours is the stupidest comment I've read on this site or its predecessor in close to 10 years.

Rod said...

@ Old... Actually I kind of agree with you; but times change and that was in distant and very NOT Politically Correct Alaska 43 years ago while constructing the Trans-Alaska oil pipeline. Stilton has set the rules for this site and I'm pretty sure one of them is FYIYCTAJ. Considering the venue here I'm a bit surprised at the title, but thanks.

Doug M said...

"Moosedom extremists"
Just now saw that. Good'n, Stilton.

I had one for maple leaf and saps, but I'll spare you.

Doug M said...

Almost forgot this one.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Dang it, so many great comments above and I'm only now responding on Sunday evening. Blogger (the website) has recently developed a bug in which I'm not alerted to comments when they're made, and so I don't get to the blog as often as I need to. My apologies, and I'll try to be better about that.

For what it's worth, I don't actually have anything against Canada or Canadians. The whole riff was simply based on Obama's lunatic assertion that we shared a Palestinian/Israeli type relationship. One of the many reasons that I'm grateful every day that we're no longer governed by that particular douche nozzle.

dar said...

McKenzie bros' FYI for non-Howsers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ZvAVcBIrQ
Great White North - Topic : Great White North
---
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_and_Doug_McKenzie
Bob and Doug McKenzie
are a pair of fictional Canadian brothers who hosted "Great White North", a sketch which was introduced on SCTV ... Bob is played by Rick Moranis and Doug is played by Dave Thomas. Although created originally as filler to both satisfy and mock network Canadian content demands, the duo became a pop culture phenomenon in both Canada and the United States...