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Friday, June 1, 2018

I Beg Your Pardon / The Unkindest Crack

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, D'Souza, pardon, campaign finance, Trump

President Trump issued a tweet yesterday which commendably did not mention apes or monkeys in any form, but which instead announced his intention to issue a pardon to the brilliant conservative thinker, writer, and commentator Dinesh D'Souza.

D'Souza (who is believed by many to be the great-grandson of patriotic "March King" John Philip D'Souza) had previously been found guilty in 2012 of contributing too much money (over $10,000) to a candidate for Senate, using several proxies to sneak the money through the door. Was he guilty of wrongdoing? Totally. And unlike most Democrats, he had neither the guile to hide his crime tidily, or the ability to claim outright stupidity and have it seem plausible.

That being said, D'Souza was - to quote Trump's tweet - "treated very unfairly by our government." Specifically because they sentenced him to a $30,000 fine, 5 years of probation, 8 months in a halfway house, community service, and the loss of his ability to vote.

In similar cases involving Democrats, you don't see anything like those punishments. Or punishments at all. Of course, when Democrats are involved, you also don't tend to see such itty-bitty amounts of money involved.

No, when you want to illegally shove money into the pocket of some generic Democrat candiate whom, picking a name at random, we'll call "Hillary," your smarter election fraudsters will hire the candidate's husband to make a speech in a language no one in the audience understands about lunchbox safety, or ways to keep cigars moist, or international fiscal policy ("Get everyone to donate to the starving orphans of storm-wracked Haiti, then keep all the money and enjoy a dream vacation on Pedophile Island!") and pay him half a million dollars as a "speaking fee" which will conveniently end up paying campaign expenses.

No muss, no fuss, no criminal convictions, and no misadventures in the shower room of the halfway house (which raises the question: is it still a prison rape if things only go in halfway?)

In any event, we regret that D'Souza made such an idiotic choice (not a "mistake") in the first place, but we're glad that he is now receiving a well-deserved pardon. At least in part because it will really honk off Liberals again, which is always a great way to start the weekend!

BONUS: THE UNKINDEST CRACK (Caution: unavoidably R-rated!)

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, ivanka, trump, samantha bee, cunt, sally field, roseanne

Literally one day after all the hoo-haw from the Left about it being totally unacceptable to even jokingly use derisory language to describe a woman or any other primate, alleged comedian Samantha Bee (whose show is the gynecologically named "Full Frontal") took to the airwaves to declare that  "Ivanka Trump is a feckless cunt."

And did Hollywood immediately lose its collective crap about this most unacceptable of sexually derisive obscenities?! It did not - because liberals believe that conservatives deserve every conceivable insult, no matter how foul or sexually charged.

For instance, withered miniature actress Sally Field, much beloved for her eons-ago role in TV's "The Flying Cunt" and the big screen "Forrest Cunt," tweeted "I like Samantha Bee a lot, but she is flat wrong to call Ivanka a cunt. Cunts are powerful, beautiful, nurturing and honest."

And of course, the Twitterverse went crazy, praising Ms. Field's wit and wisdom.

So if we're getting this straight (not that we mean to use a term which could seem homophobic or sexually binary), it's now a compliment to call a woman a cunt...and it only applies to progressive women?

The notion runs contrary to our upbringing and every fibre of our being...but thanks to women like Samantha Bee and Sally Fields, the idea is actually starting to grow on us.

32 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Sally Field? Always thought she was wimple minded.

Jason Anyone said...

In a sort of "Sybil meets Sybil", I had Sally Field tell Sally Field what she thought of her.

https://youtu.be/UzrUVvr6fO8

On THAT note, "Happy Friday", everybody!

Jim Irre said...

Wait . . . What?! Grow on you? I thought you needed surgery to get a feckless cunt?

Good on The Donald for pardoning D'Souza.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Hang it up, everyone! Mike just won the Internet for today!

@Jason Anyone- Truthfully, I'd always liked little Sally until I read this. Now I won't even return her calls.

@Jim Irre- No, no, they actually DO grow on you! I was just scratching my beard one morning and there it was! Oh- no, wait. That's my mouth.

And yeah, I'm glad D'Souza is getting the pardon. I really like the guy, though he pissed me off with his stupid move. Liberals make enough noise without someone like D'Souza giving them free ammunition.

Fred Ciampi said...

And speaking of comparing 'lil suzy to an ape; that's the biggest insult to apes that I have ever heard. Ole' Charleston must turning over in his grave (with his gun in his cold dead hands).

And yes, our country has turned into the most double standard country on the planet.

Don't forget to wear a red shirt today. Remember Everyone Deployed.

Semper Fi

Geoff King said...

All the name calling these days is reminding me more and more of grade school. It seems the human race is devolving to the point where apes may surpass us like in that movie starring Valerie Jarrett.
Perhaps people should make it a rule to treat others fairly. We could call it "The Golden Rule", or something like that.
Nah, that'll never work.

TrickyRicky said...

So, speaking of double standards, how about that fabulous cunt Rosie O'Donnell?
She apparently over donated to multiple candidates, but claims that there was "nothing nefarious. I was not choosing to over donate."

Not choosing to break the law, but per the NY Post....."Filings show O’Donnell gave a combined $5,400 in contributions over the limit to the five candidates, and used five different New York addresses and four variations of her name."

The double standards rampant in this country are on the verge of creating a total breakdown in the rule of law. This instance is the Clinton email non-prosecution versus the FBI Trump spying writ small. It's been a nice Republic, I doubt we will keep it. Vote wisely in the midterms.

jpb252 said...

What I like best about Dinesh D’Souza is his unabashed love for America.

James Daily said...

On the D'Souza pardon, it was a travesty of justice when the Crook and DNC are being sued for an $84 million campaign laundering scheme. The Federal Election Board let it slide so now it is in federal court. It's a month old so if you haven't read about it, read it here:
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/04/16/fec-hit-with-lawsuit-over-ignoring-civil-complaint-accusing-clinton-dnc-in-election-scheme.html
That crook had her money grubbing hands around the every dime the DNC et al took in. Now, on the other Presidential Pardons, is the practice? When that sleazebag Muller winds up, there will be a flood of them. Then, too, Muller has his on problems, indicting the 13 Russians with no, not one iota of evidence, until one of them called his hand on it. This is gonna be fun.

William Bartlett said...

We are ratful Miss Fields didn't missuse our great title title.
Female Dog Antidefamation Org.

Jack Wiegman said...

Dinesh sure needed a Hillary Clinton "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Here's the text that is laid over a photo of Dear Hillary;

GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD
Did you do something bad?
Murder?
Dereliction?
Lie?
Just tell authorities to give you a hillary on it.

One Democrat was so disturbed that he threatened me about it. I hope that everybody will share Hillary Clinton "Get Out of Jail Free" cards.

udaman said...

This on the heels of Roseanne Barr's firing? Could the left be more duplicitous? Here in Arizona, we had a mountain that was called Squaw Peak. As is fitting, a number of things in the area were named after it, including a freeway. Around a decade or so ago, it was decided that the name was unacceptable because it was a derogatory term for a woman, in other words, cunt. Of this, I was not aware. I just thought a squaw was an Indian woman in general. Needless to say, in a politically correct frenzy, the governments involved changed the name to honor a fallen female soldier in the Iraq war, I believe. Her name was Lori Paestua, my spelling is probably wrong. So now we have Paestua Peak, Paestua Parkway, and all the businesses in the area that used the name had to spend countless thousands of dollars to change the name of their companies. All of this is ridiculous crap!

Bruce Bleu said...

Jack,
If someone does take your advice about "getting a shrillary", would that be referred to as a "muffigan"? (Hold on... I just threw up in my mouth.)

Judi King said...

I rejoice with D'Souza. Thank you Trump.!!!!!!!!
Just don't watch TBS, don't buy any of the products advertised on that show and don't watch that stupid, insensitive bitch..... (can I say that word?). Ivanka is a lovely, gracious, caring woman and deserved better. The worst thing I can say about her is she is too liberal.

CenTexTim said...

@udaman - my wife grew up in the shadow of Squaw Peak. Perhaps nowadays we should refer to it as Native American Cunt Peak.

After all, it's not as if "cunt" is insulting, demeaning, and derogatory. According to CNBC political reporter Christine Wilkie it's merely a word choice."

And let's not let Disney off the hook for rehiring the vile Keith Olbermann at ESPN.

Excuse me now. I'm retiring to my safe place... which is my study, where I'll be drinking 'coffee' - lots and lots of 'coffee.'

John the Econ said...

As you allude to, my problem with the prosecution of Dinesh D'Souza was that he's the only one to get this kind of treatment for such a crime, transparently because of his effective campaigns against the corruption of the left. This is banana republic kind of stuff, totally consistent with other ideological enforcement actions like with the IRS scandal. The message is clear: If the Progressive deep state sees you as a problem, they will use any tool at their disposal to put you down.

Quite frankly instead of pardoning D'Souza, I would rather have seen the state be made to prosecute others for the same (and worse) "campaign finance crimes". Unfortunately, even with a President Trump, that is not possible. We have a very long way to go in cleaning the swamp.

Bee, comedians, and the gutter: TBS should change their name and motto to "TDS - Not Funny".

Quite frankly, I'm fine with letting the left own the gutter. People like Samantha Bee don't do all that much for the left beyond loosening up the base to be more transparent in their hate. Few minds predisposed to Progressivism are changed in their favor. On the other hand, the rest of civilized society gets to see how these people really feel and think, and are repulsed. Can anyone imagine if any "comedian" said any such thing about Chelsea Clinton or the Obama daughters? The Democrats would already be holding congressional hearings on the repeal of the 1st Amendment, and everyone knows that. Want more Trump? Because this is how you get more Trump.

I hope Bee doesn't lose her job, and amps it up going into 2020.

Another great thing about these episodes of unhingedness is that they tend to shake lose other denizens of the booby patch. It was amusing watching many feminists cringe at Sally Field's transition of a pejorative into something that is "powerful, beautiful, nurturing and honest."

Whatever, bitch. (And when I say "bitch", I mean "confident, empowered, assertive woman".

Ha ha ha! Who am I kidding?

As you allude to @Stilton, this is just another example of how Progressives exploit post-modernism to hijack our language and make it literally impossible to communicate. It's much easier to divide and conquer the nation if everyone hates everyone. They're doing a great job.

Faith D. said...

"The Failing Nun".

Colby Muenster said...

Trump is also talking about pardons for Martha Stewart and Blago, which has to confuse the Trump hating progressives. You don't get much more "Democrat" than Rod Blagojevich.

@udaman and CenTexTim,
Is Squaw Valley, California next? And I don't get it... according to the dictionary, squaw is just an Algonquian word for young woman or wife. Remember when "gay" meant happy go lucky or light hearted? Like John the Econ pointed out, I'm tired of libtards hijacking the English language. It's OK to say c*nt, but not squaw?

Sally Field? Huh? Another shining example of a washed up Hollyweirder expressing an opinion that normal, working people could give a rat's ass about. She needs to put in with Bobby DeNiro, Jim Carrey, and Ashley Judd, et al to buy an island off the coast of Venezuela, and go live there so they aren't exposed to us ignorant, gun toting, Bible reading, job holding, tax paying Neanderthals.

@Stilton,
How's the leg shaking/Dr. Strangelove hand battle going?

Doug M said...

Well, Sally did put "nun" and "fly" in the same sentence.

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Sortahwitte said...

But, I don't want to increase my penis size. I can't wear shorts as it is.

Colby Muenster said...

Sortahwitte,
Try a kilt. They'll think it's your sword.

MAX Redline said...

"Remember when "gay" meant happy go lucky or light hearted? Like John the Econ pointed out, I'm tired of libtards hijacking the English language."

No kidding. "Don we now our gay apparel" didn't refer to strapping a homosexual to your body.

valvenator said...

I was thinking this site needs a thumbs up like button but than again...
I'd be be clicking 'LIKE' for every post here so what would be the point?

Well, every post except for this woman Maria with erectile dysfunction?!

...maybe she just needs to put a new set of batteries in that thing ;)

Fish Out of Water said...

Methinks the comment moderation function blinked.

Geoff King said...

What if your Erectile Dysfunction is caused by the MSM constantly exposing you to pictures of Hillary, Nancy, Rosie, and Whoopi?

James Daily said...

I, too got a kick out of Maria, thinking her gender operation must have not gone well.
But, then again maybe her partner is causing it because of her berating the partner for not function well and not not functioning at all. This thread could be fun.

Philly Girl said...

Speaking of cunts. We had a college here in Pennsylvania that made the decision to change the name it has since its founding. Went from Beaver College to Arcadia University. Now the PC police are very happy.All the girls feel safer. I think.

Anonymous said...

Bee's comments were about the wrong person...one look at her and you just know that SHE is a "f*ckless c*nt"

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