The Right To Remain Silenced

What with ideological purity tests heading our way (with judgment and sentencing to be dispensed by Amazon, Google, Apple, Facebook, Twitter, Citibank, and many more), this is a good time to be boning up on articles of Progressive catechism that you can use to bluff your way out of a firing squad (the only use of a wall that liberals actually approve of).

Because the things that liberals believe aren't necessarily logical, it's best just to memorize this stuff rather than trying to think about it when you're on the spot. For one thing, if you're caught "thinking" you're already screwed. So remember, when posing as a progressive:

• You sure as hell don't want impoverished black kids to have school choice, because that might put crappity-ass union teachers out of work. 

• You believe, even on Martin Luther King Day, that it is our duty to judge people on the basis of their skin rather than the content of their character.

• Everyone needs a free college education before landing a minimum-wage job that, by law, should pay enough to raise a family of six in exquisite comfort.

• Rich people didn't earn their money. And it's not even their money - it's yours! All of it! Also, the gold in their fillings!

• Using a second square of toilet paper will cause the end of the world.

• 12-year-olds should definitely get to vote. Or really, children of any age who can recognize the letter "D."

• Fossil fuels are bad because they come from dinosaurs WHO KILLED PEOPLE so it's pretty damn obvious that their fermented juice wants to kill us, too.

• Nobody actually knows their own gender or anyone else's. Don't ask, don't tell, don't assume, don't look, don't look away. If something wants to have sex with you, you're a bigot unless you say yes.

• Human fetuses are NOT people and NOT alive so they're technically okay for vegans to eat.

If you're asked any questions not covered by this list, just start to giggle and claim that your "mind is kinda blown because I just smoked some sweet, sweet weed," then invite your inquisitors to join you in a hunt for some bitchin' pizza or doughnuts or something. Odds are they'll go with you.

DOUBLE INDIGNITY

In theory, today is the day that Nancy Pelosi and the House Dems will once again file articles of impeachment against Donald Trump. He is accused of causing riots, violence, and death by making incendiary political remarks which, being the tools long used by the Democrats (especially in 2020), represents a potentially significant copyright infringement.

While many Americans wonder what the Big Honkin' Deal is, what with President Trump clearly innocent of the named charges and already out the door in a few days, it turns out that there are little-known ramifications of a kind never before seen in American political history. Ramifications known only to Constitutional scholars and, in our case, day-drinkers.

Because if a President is impeached twice and convicted, his name and visage is to be stricken from all public records, and the original opposing candidate - Hillary Clinton, in this case - will be digitally inserted into the history books...

Biden & Harris would still take office as scheduled (by the Chinese), but Mrs. Clinton would at least have an imaginary term on paper and in the digital cloud. And this would be a pretty sweet deal for Hillary who, besides becoming the first woman president, would also be able to take credit for a wildly revitalized economy, a term with no new wars, and such remarkable foreign policy successes that Nobel Peace Prize nominations have been stacking up.

President Hillary would also be heralded for having rebuilt the military, restored American jobs, and bringing unparalleled improvement to every metric of the lives of minorities and the working class. And when the going got tough when a pandemic hit, it was digitally-inserted Hillary who bravely and presciently shut down our nation's borders and instituted a vaccine-development program which would produce successful results on a timetable that every expert said would be impossible. All accomplishments that the Democrats will lustily cheer as historic successes for their party.

Yes, that Hillary Clinton was one hell of a virtual president alright. 

Thanks, 2021!

Well THAT didn't take long

So here we are, at the dawn of (as the Chinese curse goes) an interesting time. Social media and big tech are coming down hard on Conservatives to make sure they can't continue using that dangerous "Freedom of Speech" thing, and there no longer seems to be any limit - any - on the Leftists' demands to remake our country to their liking. In fact, the only thing currently protecting Conservatives is the Left's inability to figure out how to send us all to the ovens without creating billowing clouds of polar bear-threatening carbon emissions.

And it's no wonder the Leftists are so angry, considering that the Constitution still (albeit temporarily) allows human monsters to write horrible things like this:

So what does all of this mean for Stilton's Place? Frankly, we're not sure yet. While we hope it doesn't happen, it's entirely possible that this site (and its predecessor) could be made to disappear with the flick of a switch. 

So before that happens, make sure you've added your current contact information to our email list (just click on the giant words "CLICK HERE!" near the top of the left column. Or do it here, for that matter). Do this today. Right now. That way, we can still be in touch if things go sideways here in 1984-land. And your information is always 100% safe with us: we never spam, and we'll never, ever give up your information. 

And just so you know how serious we are about that, at all times we keep a small, tooth-colored pill concealed between our cheek and gums. Should we face brutal interrogation, we'll crack that pill with our teeth and then... Well, seeing as how the pill is just a Tic-Tac, our tormentors will get a forceful blast of peppermint-fresh breath as we tell them to get stuffed.

We're also archiving everything from Hope n' Change and Stilton's Place in convenient PDF form, and will soon be posting and/or emailing links where you can download ("for fwee," as Kamala might say) all 12 years of tasty conservative comedy and commentary to enjoy when you're quietly hiding in your attic from the Woke Gestapo.

And hey, even if they hear you laughing up there, they won't come up - they're scared of spiders.

Unfriendly Fire

Ashli Babbitt was 35 years old when she was murdered in Washington, DC. She was shot down by "law enforcement" for being in the wrong place at a very wrong time. She was unarmed, not threatening anyone, and she wasn't even specifically targeted by the shooter, who simply fired through a door (as Joe Biden recommends we all do) into a crowd of people. 

Ashli Babbitt was a 14-year veteran of the US Air Force, and had served four foreign military tours, including to Iraq and Afghanistan. She was a Trump supporter who believed that the November presidential election was fraud-ridden and deserved a real investigation. But no such investigation was going to happen because the powers-that-be didn't want it. Not Democrats, not Republicans, not the Supreme Court, and certainly not the media.

And so Ashli was among the hundreds of thousands of Americans who came to Washington to protest on January 6th. Not to commit the acts of violence, looting, and destruction that have swept our nation over the past year (to the unanimous praise of those on the Left), but rather to carry a simple message to the power elite: "We deserve to be heard." And that message got her executed in "the people's house."

To hear the media tell it, a bloody revolution attempt took place in the streets and corridors of Washington DC on that day. Those on the Left claim to be horrified at the indiscriminate violence which resulted in...some broken windows. Although, unlike when the Left is "demonstrating," once those windows were broken, no molotov cocktails were thrown through them.

Ashli Babbitt went to Washington for all of us who believe that the election was a fraud and a farce, and who want nothing other than a rigorous investigation to determine if America still has free elections. She died in that pursuit, and this honored military veteran is already being demonized by the history-spinners as a rioter, terrorist, and traitor. No mayor will paint "HER LIFE MATTERED" in the streets of Washington DC.

She deserves better. Although we find the comparison distasteful, Ashli Babbitt should become the Right's new "George Floyd." Albeit not someone with a criminal history who died clumsily by their own hand out of a fondness for street drugs, but someone who died fulfilling an oath she once took to protect the Constitution of the United States.

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UPDATE: Subsequent to writing the above, I've learned of the deaths of two law enforcement officers involved in this disastrous fracas. Their loss is tragic and reprehensible. That being said, I personally believe that the deliberate violence was instigated by planted operatives from the far left. Do I have proof? No, and I don't expect any to be forthcoming. But I know how "their side" and "our side" have acted in the past. I have no doubt that 99% of the protestors were peaceful patriots. Sadly, that's not what the history books are going to say.

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On a personal note, I have to confess that this is a very confusing and unpleasant time. When I look at my personal Facebook feed, I see my "friends" declaring outrage and revulsion at an "attempted violent coup." They don't seem to have noticed that much of the violence was perpetrated against the demonstrators, nor have they accounted for the fact that this "revolution" ended when all of the protestors peacefully went home, rather than taking a celebratory looting lap of local stores or setting police cars (and officers) on fire.

I don't hate these people. I know them to be good and well-intended (and yes, I know where that road leads) - but they accept all of the media's lies unblinkingly, voracious in their desire to hate and to thereby feel good about themselves. And I'm not happy about the fact that I have to wonder if these people are actually still my friends at all. Should they learn my political leanings, they would cut me out of their lives in a heartbeat - not because of who I am, but because of what they've been told they should believe about who I am. And in my own mind, I still think of these people as friends even though their misguided beliefs are as odious as any which ever allowed a fascist regime to rise to power. They are my "friends" because I still choose to think of them that way while hoping (but not holding my breath) for their eventual enlightenment.

Right now, there is no source of news I fully trust. None. There are individuals in the media whom I still believe to be honest, but even they have to interpret information that may or may not be true.

And it's weighing on me that we're heading into a very tough four years...or longer. I'm not optimistic about midterms, or any other election unless there's a true reckoning over the abuses of this past election cycle. A supermajority of Dems is about to embark on the most radical shift in America's course that we've ever seen. Freedoms will fall, economies will falter, and "thoughtcrime" will be severely punished. Which is particularly threatening to those of us who just can't seem to give up the habit of thinking.

That being said, all is not lost.

Over 70 million Americans voted to continue the progress made during the Trump administration. Progress that lifted every race, gender, faith, and economic class. Those people still want what's best for America and Americans...all Americans. And a majority of these people believe that the election was stolen.

These tens of millions of people will peacefully do everything in their power to right the wrongs being visited upon us. How best to do that remains to be seen, but even as the Tea Party bloomed into spontaneous (and politically effective) life, so will a new movement. Which I, personally, can't wait to join.