A Hard Pill to Swallow

Dihydrogen Monoxide is water. Don't tell the Liberals.

Television viewers were stunned on Monday when a rash of fires broke out in the carefully coiffed hairdos of hysterical newscasters. The source of this incendiary incident was President Trump's casual announcement that, with his doctor's blessing, he's taking the anti-viral drug hydroxychloroquine and a zinc supplement as protection against the SARS-CoV-2 virus.

Hydroxychloroquine, which we'll henceforth refer to as HCQ because this isn't a damn spelling bee, has been villainized by the media, politicians, and even some medical organizations solely because Trump said "it might work." Their narrative is that HCQ can't possibly help Covid19 sufferers and is significantly more dangerous to ingest than drain cleaner. Which is why the news media was not only shocked that Trump has taken it, but shocked because he didn't immediately turn into a science fair model volcano geysering bloody foam all over the Oval Office.

When administered properly, HCQ seems to have amazingly good results and an excellent safety profile. But in the media's eyes, it's better for people to continue dying (and far better to keep the economy crippled) rather than admit that Trump might actually have been right about something. The fact that they're actively burying and distorting this news during the worst medical crisis in a century is a sin so profound that we can only hope the devil is currently excavating a new, much-lower circle of Hell for the media. Where their hair won't be the only thing on fire.

(Side note: if you want to be better informed about HCQ than 99% of those on social media and 100% of those in mainstream media, watch this 40 minute video. It's several weeks old, but still has accurate news you won't hear for months - if ever - from the MSM.)

BONUS 1: I COULDN'T SQUEEZE THIS IN. SO TO SPEAK.

Upon hearing that Donald Trump was taking HCQ prophylactically, Joe Biden said, "Damn, man - and I thought my catheter was uncomfortable!"

BONUS 2: PUCKER IF SHE CAN'T TAKE A JOKE

Of course, Nancy Pelosi weighed in on Trump's use of HCQ...

Stretching Your Stimulus

Thanks to the HEROES Act, more money will soon be flying into the bank accounts of Americans, illegal aliens and, most importantly in a time of medical crisis, political lobbyists.

And what's great about our nation is that all of those people, no matter what their race, creed, color, political affiliation, or gender identification du jour, are free to spend that money foolishly by ordering items from our own Spensive Gifts catalog...

CONGRATULATIONS! If you've been following these "Spensive Gifts" posts, you now own the entirety of the 30 year old cut-and-paste original! We still plan to turn this into an ebook (or maybe even a print book) at some point because it gives us another excuse to not go outside. If it happens you'll read about it here first!

BONUS: DO UNTO OTHERS...
 

...And A Little Child Shall Mislead Them

Because nothing actually has to make sense anymore, alleged news network CNN added teen climate pest Greta Thunberg to their "all expert" coronavirus panel on a townhall broadcast Thursday night. Also on the panel was former HHS secretary Kathleen Sebelius, who is most famous for completely screwing up the Obamacare rollout, which she introduced to the public in much the same way ham-handed nitwits in Wuhan introduced the SARS-CoV-2 virus.

Then again, the solicitation of Thunberg's stridently uninformed opinions makes a certain kind of Bizarro-world sense now that the Left (particularly in Nancy Pelosi's $3 trillion "Heroes" Act) has declared that the best way to fight the coronavirus is by discontinuing the use of fossil fuels, giving blanket amnesty to illegal immigrants, establishing a guaranteed minimum income for everyone, forgiving college loans, putting additional bite into racial diversity requirements, and using government funds to help encourage the sale of cannabis in minority communities. And no, we're not making up any of that.

So what the hell - why not have this odious little scold give her two cents' worth as long as we're throwing actual medical science out the window?!

All of this puts us in mind of the science fiction novel "IQ 83," by Arthur Herzog. In it, a manipulated virus escapes a lab and spreads like wildfire. But it doesn't make you cough, or bleed from every orifice, or make your appendages fall off at inconvenient times. It makes you stupid, permanently peeling away IQ points day by day until everyone will be too dumb to take care of themselves, let alone find a cure for the illness.

Thanks to CNN (and many others), we are increasingly of the opinion that such a virus may not be as fictional as we once hoped.

FROM THE VAULT: KATHLEEN SEBELIUS - LEST WE FORGIVE

BONUS: HOME, HOME AND DERANGED