Snack Attack

On Superbowl Sunday, Joe Biden's handlers decided that he shouldn't do a live interview during the game fearing that it could make him look like a senile nincompoop. So instead, they aired a professionally produced message for the American people in which Biden looked like a senile nincompoop.

Astoundingly, in unusually terse fashion, Joe pulled back the curtains to reveal the evil conspiracy that is playing Americans for (and we quote) "suckers." Specifically, the tendency of the Big Snack industry to charge us the same money for giving us fewer chips, crackers, and cookies in each package.

Mind you, this shouldn't be confused with Biden's inflation which has skyrockets prices across the board. No, this is "shrinkflation" which is, well, exactly the same thing. Only this isn't Biden's fault, it's the fault of the America-hating robber barons! But who are these traitors? Joe isn't afraid to say!

Buy stock now before their lawsuit settlements come in

These are some of the bastards singled out by the White House (with a Presidential Seal looming over their products no less) for ripping off consumers and treating them as "suckers." Products that are even now mobilizing their ecstatic legal departments. The frigging Keebler elves, Gatorade, Pepperidge Farm, Nabisco, Breyers, and Lays - all giving you less product just because your money isn't worth as much since Biden took office.  And are those really "Double Stuf" Oreos or are they "Stuf and Three-Quarters" Oreos?! Fightin' Biden is on your side!

Joe was especially angry that ice cream containers are getting smaller, because that's apparently a message his handlers want us to know he deeply cares about. Although the message we're mostly getting is that Joe's handlers have decided to let him look like a complete idiot so they can finally get rid of him. 

FUN WITH COVID

I'm glad to report that I'm well on my way to apparent recovery from my first dance with Fauci's Folly, though am still mildly symptomatic on Day 10. It hasn't been that hard on me, I'm relieved to say. Oh, I still honk like a trumpeter swan when coughing, but that's just my innate musicality.

The social isolation hasn't been too bad, what with me being a hermit anyway. But I still take it as a personal affront that this manmade illness finally got me - and surely will again.  And again.

HAPPY VD - FROM THE VAULT

The Tony Awards

This would be a great place for me to say something glib or pithy, but those words aren't in me today. I hate this man and innumerable others who created a new and more efficient scythe for the Grim Reaper, then compounded their crimes with lies, power plays, and a "vaccine" that has a non-zero chance of wiping out our species. 

Side note: I know that sounds way over the top and I wish it were. And in fairness, I'm guaranteed that my fears are unwarranted by the same expert sources who assured us that Covid could not be spread person-to-person, that face masks were dangerous (before they became mandatory proof of political servitude), that packing Covid patients into nursing homes with senior citizens was a good idea, that the virus itself magically evolved from a bowl of bat wing soup from a wet market within coughing distance of the Wuhan virology lab, and that the new "vaccines" were safe, thoroughly tested, and effective.

Sadly, "Holocaust Remembrance Day" seems no more meaningful than any other Hallmark holiday in a sick world where equally horrendous crimes against humanity are being rewarded rather than punished.

SUBPOENAS ENVY

I'm more than a little confused. Former Trump adviser Peter Navarro has just been sentenced to four months in jail for defying a congressional subpoena that required him to appear before the same Democrat-lead House Select Committee (and lynch mob) that conducted a Kabuki investigation into January 6th, then destroyed more than 100 encrypted files of "insurrection"-related evidence (no doubt of an exonerating nature) to keep them from falling into the hands of Republicans.

But if memory serves, Hunter ("Fingerpainting For Fun and Profit") Biden recently received similar subpoenas and staged a photo-op specifically to show him giving Congress the finger. For which he's been sentenced to exactly zero months in jail. Which is good for him, because it's not as easy to sneak coke into jail as it is to sneak it into his dad's White House.

Still, when it comes to matters of applying equal justice under the law, I'm amazed that in our trans-happy culture and an election year, the Republicans can't even pretend to have balls.

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SECEDE...

Remember the Ala Mode!

Joe Biden seems to be preparing for a literal war against Texas and, as a Texan, I'd like to assure him that A) it's a bad idea and B) we triple-dog dare your ice-cream-licking ass. The man is sending troops to make sure that our nation's border falls. To make sure that the flow of fentanyl, sex slaves, disease, and potential terrorists continues unabated. 

Sooner or later, even the idiots on the Left are going to ask why - and it's going to boil down to corruption of a very high order. The cartels are clearly paying big money to keep their operations going and they're just lucky enough to be dealing with a president who's been comfortable taking bribes and selling out the American people for his entire career.

Personally, I would really and truly like to see my state of Texas secede and return to its status as an independent nation again. And I would hope this could be accomplished entirely peacefully. Still, if Biden keeps pushing us, I hope Governor Abbott sends troops to Washington to cut down the White House fences and see how Joe likes it.

Noose at Eleven

As expected, Donald Trump crushed his opponents in the Iowa caucuses after which he made a live victory speech in which he said...(Bzzzt!)...he said...(Crackle!)...he said...

Sorry about that. The problem is NOT with your television set. Rather, if you were watching alleged "news" networks CNN or MSNBC, the transmission of Trump's message was cut off by an ideological problem that technicians are most definitely not rushing to repair.

Rather, the management of both networks decided to just not air anything Donald Trump says live anymore - even if it's a politically salient victory speech - because they claim they don't want to knowingly transmit anything that might be lies. Of course, they can't just leave the airtime unfilled while they're protecting you from whatever lies they've had premonitions about. So they open up the conversational floor to their (ahem) "news" people who then tell rock-solid truths like Trump has declared that he will be dictator for life, that if Trump wins he'll order the "crazies" who follow him to kill his political enemies, and that Trump will clearly destroy our country if re-elected because he forgot to do during his first Presidential term in which he was sending the economy through the roof, keeping us out of wars, improving employment and opportunities for minority Americans, projecting strength to our nation's adversaries, and giving away his salary to charity. The rat bastard.

This is among the most blatant acts of election interference imaginable and every minute of airtime devoted to talking up Joe Biden or talking down Trump needs to be listed as a political "contribution in kind" to the Biden campaign. Additionally, any special First Amendment protections applied to news organizations should be immediately yanked from these two propaganda mills. 

But why do CNN and MSNBC think they need to hide Trump's words from their viewers? If what Trump is saying is offensive, then the people should hear it to help them decide who to vote for. And if what Trump is saying is lies, then the networks should air those lies along with the proof that Trump is lying - again, for the benefit of their viewers.

Then again, CNN and MSNBC may believe that their viewers are such bone-headed morons that they'll simply believe any outlandish thing they hear on cable news. In fact, that's their entire market strategy.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY ARTIFICIAL

I'm still fiddling around with AI programs and music generators (hey, I need to do SOMEthing when I'm avoiding the news) and I recently came up with a song that is...dare I say it...kind of good?

I asked ChatGPT to write lyrics that sounded like a Byrds interpretation of a Bob Dylan song. I then plugged those lyrics into app.suno.ai and told it to generate a pop song with good harmonies. There were a lot of false starts, but then a good iteration. Which started a process of prompting the engine to add a little bit more and a little bit more until it was a whole song. And I added a music video (barely) so I could stick it on Youtube.

The song itself isn't intended to be a joke nor is it political. In fact, it's a bit of feel-good inspirational throwback rock that I've been listening to when I need a mood boost (hint: hourly). And maybe you'll enjoy it, too!

And for any Karaoke fans...sing along!

"Echoes of Tomorrow"

[Verse 1:]

In the whispers of the morning,

Through the mist of dawn's embrace,

Lies a truth that's softly spoken,

In the lines of every face.

Winds of change are blowing,

Across the fields of time,

Where dreams are sown like golden grains,

In the garden of the mind.

[Chorus:]

Oh, echoes of tomorrow,

Ring through yesterdays of sorrow,

And the songs of freedom hum,

Beneath the setting sun.

May the words we say,

Light the path and show the way,

For the echoes of tomorrow,

In our hearts will stay.

[Verse 2:]

See the river's constant flowing,

Past the mountains, through the plains,

Like the endless quest for knowing,

That in every heart remains.

Shadows of the evening,

Dance with the glow of fireflies,

While stars above keep weaving,

Tales of love beneath the skies.

[Chorus:]

Oh, echoes of tomorrow,

In the laughter and the sorrow,

Like a melody that flies,

Underneath the moonlit skies.

Let our voices rise,

Through the dark and stormy skies,

For the echoes of tomorrow,

Are the dreams that never die.

[Bridge:]

In every whispered wind,

In every songbird's call,

The answers lie within,

In the rise and in the fall.

[Chorus:]

Oh, echoes of tomorrow,

In the love that we can borrow,

From the chapters yet to write,

In the silence of the night.

Hand in hand we'll go,

Through the high and through the low,

For the echoes of tomorrow,

In our hearts will glow.