Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Chip Happens

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, earwigs, chipmunk

Preparations for home renovation (6 days until demolition starts...) and frankly incomprehensible news stories dictated that we go the Earwigs route again today. As we've warned, the content on this site may be pretty eccentric for awhile - not that it wasn't before.

To clear the way for the upcoming work on the floors, walls, kitchen, and bathrooms we've been divesting ourselves of furniture which has served us well for many years (soon to be bargain priced at a Salvation Army store near you!), leaving us with large amounts of unfilled space. And nothing to sit on in much of the house. And no tables for dining, sorting mail, or playing Boggle. It's all pretty disorienting (even when cold sober, which occasionally happens) and soon to get much, much worse.

As we've said before, we're reasonably happy to be energizing the economy by paying through the nose for this renovation, but we can't admit to being too keen on the recent discovery that investment income pulled from our personal account to pay for all of this is likely to incur an additional 3.8% Obamacare tax surcharge (above and beyond capital gains taxes and increased annual Medicare payments) to punish us for our frugality, personal responsibility and, in all likelihood, our shameful white privilege.

Good work on not even repealing that, GOP.

There's a reason we call our toilet "John."

BONUS: Now That Smarts

We jokingly (or not) mentioned "white privilege" above, little knowing that we're apparently guilty of something even worse: "cognitive privilege." 

According to an article in the University of Iowa's student newspaper, "the accident of having been born smart enough to be able to be successful is a great benefit that you did absolutely nothing to earn. Consequently, you have nothing to be proud of for being smart."

In other words, anything you've "earned" by virtue of being smart is simply a matter of "winning life's lottery" as Obama used to say, and you're not really entitled to keep those earnings when there are so many stupid people who would enjoy spending your money after they've blown through their own.

We wish the concept of cognitive privilege was simply a brilliant satire being foisted off on the Left, but sadly satire itself appears to be a dying construct in the age of the cognitively disadvantaged.

They WANT to protest, but putting words on signs is hard.


M. Mitchell Marmel said...

"Goddammit, Gadget, put your clothes back on! What do you think this is, FurAffinity?!"

james daily said...

I think Alvin is trying to be stump broke.

REM1875 said...

Although handy, Theodore's attempts to mate with the rock, he felt left much to be desired....

REM1875 said...

I will never forgive the liberal/left/media (Yes I know I repeat myself) for their failure to "swift boat" johnnie mcrino- but then he was one of their own and Gov Palain's war record was so much more important - Good thing they pulled her women card like they do all conservative women and they become fair game and targets......

Stan da Man said...

Thanks, Rem - I knew there was a getting the rocks off joke in there, and you just whipped it out!

John d said...

This week both my brother AND sister had their houses demolished, one will have a home in two parts put on a new foundation the other will have factory built pieces assembled on a new foundation. We (and by that I mean everyone we know) offered to burn my sister's house to the ground while dancing like wild indians. One will be done at Thanksgiving and one in January.

Rod said...

Criminently. As odd as it may seem, I've become accustomed to visiting here for a little stability; but now we don't know WHAT to expect. And it's doubtful caption #2 will be topped.

chef621 said...

Yep! Feces Occurs!

CenTexTim said...

"we've been divesting ourselves of furniture..."

I see a furniture shopping spree in your future ... with Mrs. J smiling widely (or is that wildly?).

Rod said...

If the home renovation doesn't completely fry your brain; use a lot of Ikea assemble-it-yourself furniture to resupply. That will finish you off.

Actually I like SOME of their items; one just has to be vewy vewy careful.

I was once housed in a apartment in Kazakhstan that had been furnished & supplied 100% with Ikea stuff, as if there had been one purchasing call to do it all. Furniture, appliances, shower curtain, soap dishes, wastebaskets, kitchen items, utensils & dishes, d├ęcor. It's how I first learned of Ikea.

OpenTheDoor said...

These brothers get a lot of gruff.
One is a rocket scientist and the other clerked for Ruth Bader Sleepy-Time, back in the day.

OpenTheDoor said...

@Rod, lol, you said IKEA.
I worked as an engineer for many years in aerospace, my SIL is a PhD in physics.
When my daughter was planning for her first child, we put two bookcases together.
You would think the second one would be easier, but nooo.
All the mistakes we didn't make on the first one, we made on the second.
IKEA is the devil king of bad instructions.

Colby Muenster said...

OMG! Where in the world did you get that classified photo of Obama's secret economy advisors!?

DougM said...

• AntiFa chipmunk looks for nice store window to smash
• Chipmunks rock
• Alvin gets tired of singing cute music and takes up rock
• Chipmunk and his turtle-fetish sex doll
• Chipmunk scout signals his squad from the high ground
• Juvenile chipmunk gets embarrassing erection during class presentation
• Vertigo-suffering chipmunk politician gives stump speech, sticks with low rock
• Chipmunk thinks, "A rolling stone gathers no moss;" but can't write, so his insight is lost forever.
• Artist yells, "Keep still, dammit!"

TrickyRicky said...

Looks like the Dem's 2020 dream team is assembled. The only remaining question is which one will sit atop the ticket. Chippy will be the overwhelming people's favorite, but Tom Perez has already rigged the primaries.

Kate said...

Isn't that basically the concept of Harrison Bergeron?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

To the left, we're nothing but animals infesting this planet. Those who can think for themselves and discern bullshit from fertilizer are obvious mutants (except them. They're Special...) in their world view. It's all just random chance (that doesn't apply to them); therefor, you shouldn't expect to actually have "accomplished" anything or "own" anything. You just pulled it out of the People's Ether by random chance. Except if you win the lottery. That's yours...

GADS! If Ayn Rand were alive today, she would be knowingly shaking her head. We'd been warned.

(@OpenTheDoor: Seriously? Instructions? What's wrong with you! Throw them away and make those mistakes your own darn self! Instructions...)

John said...

At first glance I thought the chipmunk was getting a bit frisky with a toad but after another cup of coffee I realized the toad was a rock. Thank goodness for caffeine.

Shelly said...

Stilton, I would like to know your trick to get Salvation Army to pick up your furniture donations. They refused to pick up a solid oak desk and hutch, ostensibly because it was upstairs. When I had it brought downstairs to the garage, they still refused. Goodwill in McKinney took it yesterday.

Igor said...

"If Juan McLame had sons, they'd look like these two."

(Think: "Squirrel!")

Rod said...

@Open the door: Actually the IKEA instructions are pretty good but they are indeed wordless and very visual with some tricky details. Most of us have a preference to visual or words or it MUST be seen in person... I'm thinking you're a word person.
My trouble with IKEA is in getting that unique chipboard hardware started straight and properly seated. Let's all watch for Stilt's comments; that should be fun.

Colby Muenster said...

We may not hear form Stilton for a while. He could very well be buried under a mountain of drywall chunks, old carpet and assorted plumbing fixtures.

"When will you finish!?"
"Two weeks."