Wednesday, August 9, 2017
North To "I'll Blast Ya"
North Korea has apparently managed to miniaturize nuke warheads to the point that they'll fit into ICBMs way sooner than the "experts" expected (the same "experts" who assure us that Barack Obama's buddies in Iran are far from finishing their nukes), and a vacationing Donald Trump has declared that if Kim Jung Un doesn't quit screwing around, he'll be "met with fire and fury like the world has never seen."
Considering that there aren't many funny things we can say about this (the cartoon above quite likely being proof), we present an even more surreal than usual edition of Earwigs...
BONUS: REMODEL PRISONER
Our first two days of renovation went pretty well in stately Jarlsberg manor. On day one, a small army of workmen enthusiastically ripped everything out of our master bathroom. And we mean everything...
Tuesday, after some extended jackhammering, ripping, and rending, a carpenter roughed in the "pony wall" which will define the boundaries of our new shower stall (rising from that area where a Russian periscope is currently peering out of a hole in the ground), and on Wednesday we think there's a plumber coming to do something unknown which will almost certainly be noisy and expensive and keep us from being able to use toilets anywhere in the house.
We'd say more, but Happy Hour has just arrived without a second to spare.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM