Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Quick and the Dead Tired

This will be an uneven post. Here at stately Jarlsberg mansion, we not only had the tile guys descend on us with a vengeance, we were also surprised to receive visits from a carpenter, two plumbers, and some cabinet guys who took the fronts off all our kitchen cabinets AND the cabinet which held our microwave and oven. And still does - because they're gone too.

Since we don't have a stovetop installed either, we were looking at a future of food as cold as Nancy Pelosi's heart. Fortunately, we were saved by the miracle of capitalism (and Chinese slave labor) thanks to a $35 Sunbeam microwave oven from Target. We may still have to have hot dogs for every meal, but by gosh they'll at least be hot hot dogs!

Also, our contractor moved up the schedule a wee bit in several areas (the element of surprise is critical in keeping homeowners from seeing where the next punch will come from), meaning we have to completely empty the contents of the kitchen this evening (every cupboard, shelf, pantry, and hidey-hole) and then get started emptying out the rooms which are currently stacked to the ceilings with all our belongings. Including this one: the inner sanctum of Stilton's Place.

With all this going on tonight, we had to call the doggy daycare and ask them to let Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) spend the night rather than just enjoying her usual daytime play date. We then peeked at the online camera to make sure she was okay, and saw that she was doing nothing except watching the windows and doors for us to come pick her up. Guilt, thy name is stranded dog...

And speaking of dogs, the females are technically referred to as "bitches." Which segues nicely into this cartoon...

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, hillary, penny, north korea, MTV, remodeling, antifa, berkeley

Per an idea from our good friends over at The Daily Gouge (who will be using a version of this cartoon today), here's Hillary's version of her debates with Trump as described in her upcoming compendium of lies, "What Happened."

She claims "he was literally breathing down my neck" (he wasn't), her "skin crawled," and she wanted to shout "Back up, you creep! Get away from me!" A line which had previously allowed her to dodge all male advances except, apparently, those made by Webb Hubbell.

Also in the news, the oxymoronic "peace armies" of Antifa raised more Hell in Berkeley to make sure "free speech" couldn't break out...

Hey, YOUR signs lie, OUR signs lie.
The image above should cranch the butthole of anyone who's ever read "1984." Shields emblazoned with "No Hate" and cartoon animals, carried by masked, armed thugs who've come to beat the crap out of anyone they don't agree with (while the police stand back with a nod and a wink to "give them space" to do their genuinely fascist thing).

At some point, a citizen is going to take poorly to being beaten in the streets, and is going to demonstrate to an Antifa member how the 2nd Amendment works. And unfortunately, this is exactly what Antifa and the Left are hoping for: a precious martyr. Frankly, we're surprised that they haven't fragged one of their own yet just to try to pin the blame on the evil Freedom of Speech lovers. And for all we know, that fallen Antifa member might wind up surrounded by 72 virgins - which is ironic because the same was true whenever he attended an average Antifa organizational meeting.

Regarding the Texas coastal cities (and soon Louisiana) coping with hurricane Harvey, we find the carnage heartbreaking but the many acts of heroism and neighborliness inspiring. We'll be making a donation to help as soon as we sort out a good and efficient charity (hint: not The Clinton Foundation), and we hope that the rain will just stop as soon as possible.  Way up here in north Texas, we've only gotten some very scattered showers of no importance.

What else? It seems worth mentioning that by actually shooting a missile over Japan, North Korea's Kim Jung Un is making a desperate plea for "death by cop" (or in this case, the World's cop). And we're growing more inclined to see his wish granted.

Speaking of useless blights on humanity, may we call attention to virtually everyone at the recent MTV Music Awards? Granted, this masturbatory self-celebration is always a pointless waste of time, but we can't really forgive them for the foul song they played to the gala's entire in-theater audience during a commercial break.

Here it is; the meat of the song kicks in at :28 and is Not Safe For Work, Not Safe For White People, Not Safe For Those With Heart Conditions, and frankly Not Safe For Those Uncomfortable with Black People Being Called Niggas (which, theoretically, makes us racists).

As much as we hate to (ahem) denigrate an obviously brain-damaged, Tourette's-afflicted rapper who likely can't wipe his own ass without help from a cellmate, we condemn this song and the overpaid coke-snorting executives at MTV who thought it appropriate to associate with their brand.

Which actual Americans should. Forever.


REM1875 said...

Warning: Despite what they and the media says THE CLINTON GLOBAL INITIATIVE is NOT a good charity to donate to for hurricane Harvey relief.......
Just thought y'all ought to know

rickn8or said...

But then the FBI decided not to release any of the Hillary files because "no one was interested in them."

Elbarto said...

The song has a nice beat, but it's hard to dance to.

Mike aka Proof said...

With all the hoodies and masks they look more like the Talibantifa!
(Or members of the Thug Reich!)

My sympathies for your remodeling hardships.

pgm1972 said...

"Trump made my skin crawl!", she claimed.

"What happened" - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Just may be the first book to ask a question as well as answer it, right on the cover. So, no need to open it...or waste money buying it.

Fish Out of Water said...

That the pathological, serial liar and I believe the driving force behind the anti Trump groups, skin crawled during the debates. I wonder if that passage is an editing error and she really was referring to her sexual predator, erstwhile husband or hers?

And if she couldn't handle someone breathing down her neck during the debates, would she ever be fit to deal with real problems as President?

Judi King said...

Glad you're safe in your area of Texas. Stay strong with your remodeling, I feel bad for your dog. Hope she doesn't suffer from separation anxiety.
As for HRC, how could anyone married to WJC feel threatened. I think Trump has better taste than to look at her.
Was that creep on the video speaking English? I couldn't understand what it was saying. Probably a good thing.

Mark Matis said...

Let me assure you, Fish Out of Water, that Slick NEVER has been "literally breathing down her neck". Yeah, Slick likes 'em chunky. But he also insists that they be subservient. Have you ever seen any of THAT from Cankles???

Jack Wiegman said...

The "No Hate" signs; Seems to me that you could add a single line to each one and change "No" to "Mo."

Ah is sho that they means "Mo Hate."

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Speaking of skin-crawling, mine did just that after listening to about ten seconds of that awful (c)rap "music." The feds might consider using it as a replacement for waterboarding.

Fred Ciampi said...

Just a thought; as it is against the law to hide one's face in public except during a blizzard or sumptin', then it should be open season on those antifa types. I'll bet that from 1,500 yards one could take out a half dozen before anyone could even figure out what was even going on.

And for the looters in Houston who are shooting at rescue boats, how about a river boat like we used in 'Nam with twin '50s? Just another happy thought.

My neighbor was skinning one of his hogs the other day and the skin looked so much like the "crawling skin" meme of the hildabeast that I thought for a moment that it really was. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Well now! Doesn't that just reinforce the old adage "Music is like candy: you throw the rappers out."

@rickn8or: Saw that. I didn't realize FOIA requests required popular opinion to be fulfilled.

Geoff King said...

Since the Soros funded left wing loonies now appear to be using Orwell's "1984" as a how-to manual, right down to erasing and rewriting our history, will future generations even be allowed to know of that book's existence?
IMHO, that novel should already be considered a historical document, not a work of fiction.r

Anonymous said...

Listening to that horrible chant brought tears to my eyes. Has this once-great country really fallen so far? Stilton, your humor lightens the load a bit, but you are facing an insurmountable opponent. 1984 indeed! said...

Offering a suggestion for Harvey contribution. On Fox News,I saw Franklin Graham interviewed about his relief organization "Samaritan:s Purse." I checked it out on charitynavigator,com and saw that Administrative services receive under 5%, and believed that it was a safe way to contribute to the hurricane relief. I have provided the link in case you might be interested.

Shelly said...

I'm sure all the attendees at those wretched awards were chortling and high fiving over that "song." Can you imagine their reaction if a musician sang F Barack Obama instead? That person would be in jail already along with the video maker that caused Benghazi.

As far as the vile witch's skin crawling, isn't that what happens when lizards shed? Bill and Hill's marriage was always a political partnership, not love and friendship. We all know that. Otherwise, they would have been divorced long ago.

Unknown said...

Hmmm... seems to me I heard that Killiary filed for divorce from Slicko Willy around the first of this year. Anyone else remember hearing that? The MTV video should be listed as hate propaganda and those who made it should be sent to prison. This country is falling apart from the inside-out. I fear for my grandchildren's future and hope to God things change in the next few years. I don't think the body of America can take this type of torture much longer. And, Geoff King, your statement reminds me of the book burning carried out by the Nazis. It seems it is coming to that. Orwell's 1984 was required reading in my high school days. I am curious as to what is on their required reading lists in high schools now. Maybe I will check that out. As far as the remodel goes, you will be looking back in a few months, saying "that wasn't so bad, was it?" It will be gorgeous and worth all the inconveniences you are putting up with now.

Colby Muenster said...

Well, Hillary. If your skin really did crawl, now you have a slight inkling of how normal people feel when they see your skanky face or hear you shrieking and cackling your leftist, hateful opinions. If Donald Trump was sneaking up behind you, he was probably trying to catch a glimpse of the lizard skin just under your collar where the mask ends.

Yes, I know that was childish and not at all nice, but Hillary Clinton really does give me the creeps, and I wish she would just go the hell away and live out the rest of her pathetic life swimming in her bin of blood stained money.

I will echo westibear's recommendation if you are looking for a good charity that actually DOES good things. Granted, I'm somewhat biased being from NC, but Samaritan's Purse spends their money on action, not on TV ads bragging about their action.

Antifa... I'm pretty sure Jesus dressed up in all black, covered His face, and carried a baseball bat when He healed the sick and lame. And everybody knows Ghandi spread his message of peace using a big fat club. The hypocracy of the left

Unknown said...

Okay, so I found the recommended reading list for teachers grades 9-12. Orwell's Animal Farm is on there, but not 1984. Here is the link if you are interested:

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Seeing the suffering going on in my home state, it makes me doubly angry knowing that the Clintons stole so much money from impoverished victims in Haiti. I may not be a theological expert, but I'm pretty sure they belong in Hell.

@rickn8or- The FBI will not honor FOIA requests because no one is interested in Hillary Clinton?! Seriously, it's time to shutter that whole organization.

@jpb252- I'm sorry, did you say the song has a "nice beat" or that the artist could use a "nice beating?"

@Mike aka Proof- Our eyes ain't lying: these are very bad people.

@pgm1972- I doubt many actual PEOPLE will buy the book (let alone read it), though there may be huge sales from Soros-style organizations as yet another way of sending laundered money to Hillary.

@Fish Out of Water- Excellent points. Did we really want a first female President who is still playing the victim card?

@Judi King- Compared to those hit by the storm, I don't have a single thing to complain about. Not that I plan to STOP complaining - it's a coping mechanism. For instance, this morning I tried to unplug the coffee maker from a dangling outlet (our switchplates have been removed) and managed to give myself a nice jolt of electricity. No real harm done, but OUCH.

Regarding the rapper, it was very difficult to decipher his mumbling, illiterate run-up to the actual profane song. Still, if he WANTS to be called "nigga" then I'm increasingly willing to go along.

@Mark Matis- In her remarks, Hillary said she was "used to men trying to throw me off." Sounds like SHE may have been a rapist, too!

@Jack Wiegman- I'm sure you're right.

@Alfonso Bedoya- NOW you're talking!

@Fred Ciampi- If we can have laws against possession of drug paraphernalia, how about doing the same for "violent rioting" paraphernalia? And yes, let's start with those face masks.

And regarding looters, I think some "examples" should be made and well publicized.

@Emmentaler Limburger- I've never considered rap or hip-hop or whatever the heck they're calling it to be even remotely music-related. It's idiocy, profanity, and (pardon my cultural bias) primitive tribalism. I can honestly say that I think less of anyone who shows familiarity with the genre.

@Geoff King- I think future generations will be exposed to "1984," but a version that has been rewritten as a glorious celebration rather than an ominous warning. And I'm still stunned that there was a little blip of time recently when the sales of "1984" shot up because the illiterati thought it amounted to condemnation of Trump and the Right.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I hated to post that video, but it created outrage and sadness in me that I had to share. And just describing that obscenity wouldn't have conveyed the true horror of it. The coarseness of it is almost literally sub-human, and I despair at the fact that it's considered appropriate to share in an open venue and a major (God help us) "cultural event."

And yes, I tend to feel rather outnumbered these days - which is why I appreciate this little community we share so much!

@westibear- Thanks for the recommendation. As soon as I finish these remarks, I'll go take a look!

@Shelly- As is always the case, it's impossible to imagine a major conservative event playing an "F--- Obama" song. I genuinely detest these people.

And I totally agree that the Clinton "marriage" is, and always has been, about power rather than love...or even sex.

@Sandy Link- Frankly, I thought Hillary was going to arrange for Bill to have an "accident" during her campaign to get the sympathy vote. Now I think she'll probably do it just for fun.

Regarding what kids are reading in school these days, I'm sure we wouldn't be happy about the selections. And thanks for the encouraging words on the remodeling. It's hard for me to imagine that I'll ever get to the stage of thinking "well, that wasn't so bad" - but let's keep our fingers crossed.

@Colby Muenster- The whole idea that Trump was "breathing down (her) neck" is a lie. Hillary is aware of the photos - taken with long lenses - that made it LOOK like he was right behind her, but pictures made from a different angle show that he was actually far away from her. So she's not even recounting what she felt at the time; she's lying based on deceptive photos that she knows people have seen.

And thanks for seconding the opinion about Samaritan's Purse. That's good enough for me.

@Sandy Link- Okay, that's actually a pretty good list of books. My question is whether these are just being recommended by a group, or if these are actually being used in schools?

John the Econ said...

Oh poor Penny. How confused and worried she must be. Certainly similar to what our dog felt when we last moved; getting locked in a completely empty house for hours that we had just spent the last week emptying, while we left to attend the closing. Imagine his relief and confusion when we came back to get him, but then only to drive to a new and far away place, never to return. Always feel bad for doing that to him.

Hillary: Considering the creepdom that Hillary has been surrounded by for her entire adult life, it certainly is hard to imagine that being on the same stage with Donald Trump was the moment that her skin finally crawled. (For some strange reason, she didn't have this problem when she & Bill attended various other events with Trump, including a wedding) But for the sake of graciousness, I'll take her at her word for it and will be thankful she's not our President, a job where our leader is regularly faced with all kinds of examples of toxic masculinity in the forms of our enemies.

And I'd think that such a statement would garner the ire of the feminist world. After all, if Hillary isn't up to the job, what woman could possibly be?

The ironically-named "Antifa": The continued existence of a group of anti-fascists who without any sense of irony behave just like, I should say exactly like fascists is yet more proof of several points I've been making over the last decade or so:

o The $1.3-trillion of outstanding student loan debt in America went completely to waste.

o Because of that, most people do not know that fascism and communism are basically the same thing, only differing in how the bookkeeping is done.

o Outside of sex, there is absolutely nothing "liberal" about "liberals" anymore.

o It's way too easy for people to survive and be bored in America. This is what you ultimately get when people with no worthwhile core values have nothing better to do.

Texas: Heart wrenching, but not so much for Progressives who have decided that Texas deserves God's wrath because it's a red state. Adding to the irony impairment is the fact that Houston went for Hillary. So, in other words, if the atheist left is correct, perhaps God is punishing them for voting for Hillary. In any event, it makes as much sense as anything else they're arguing these days.

Oh, and today's example of "fake news"? Melina's choice of footwear.

MTV: They still around? In the early '80s, I opined that MTV was destroying pop music by making visual appearance more important that the music itself. It took barely a decade for my observation to be indisputably proven when a couple of dancing fools who weren't even on their own record won industry accolades for singing the best song of the year.

Then we got anti-music, rap, where any fool without any musical talent what-so-ever could be a star as long as he had a rap sheet, the kind of which had absolutely nothing at all to do with musical talent.

Rap music had done more damage to black America than the KKK or neo-Nazis could even imagine doing.

MTV is literally our cultural diarrhea. One of the reasons I gave up cable TV was because I was sick of subsidizing it.

Skip said...

We(she and the girls) had to live in the motorhome for two months while our house was remodeled. Me..I was on the road makin' deals and sippin' whiskey. I love 'Merica.

KanB said...

Me thinks Antifa is to Liberals as ISIS is to "moderate Muslims"

james daily said...

This edition is just chocked full of good stuff and one I am going to use: The Samaritan's Purse. I was going to use JJ Wyatt Foundation but could not get in to make a donation then maybe a donation to both. I could donate to me brother that barely escaped disaster but he would probably spend it on Guns, Ammo and SMS. On your continuing soap opera of the remodeling, I have been laughing for a while as I have been there, done that and almost got a heart attack for the continuous bills. Then, I think the crook's book is in the same category as Fort Worthless Jim Wright's book. Did you notice that AlGore's book is like about #2300 or so on the Best Seller's list? Ah, poor author. (I still do not understand why the crook was not cast as the clown in the new movie, "It".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I just want to issue a heads up that the contractors have found my last hiding place and I'm being ordered out of my office - along with everything IN my office, to the bare walls. For this reason, tomorrow's post will be the same as this message: I'm outta here for awhile. I'm hoping I can do SOME kind of post soon, but if it takes a few days, don't fret.

If I CAN, I'll try to log on here regularly to converse in the comments section (on tomorrow's post, that is). I'll admit that the remodeling of the rest of the house has been a considerable inconvenience, but gutting my office feels like an actual violation.

I'll be back as soon as possible, and in the meanwhile please keep the party going without me!