Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Her "Owe" Face
Some might accuse us of making a cheap joke by mocking Alibaba Ocrazio-Corkboardz yet again, but there's actually nothing cheap about it. Because the American Action Forum just tallied up the expenses associated with the freshman Congresswoman's "Green New Deal" and come up with a final cost of $93 trillion.
Of which, the amount you'll personally owe will be between $361,010 and $653,010 over a 10 year period. Which might sound like a lot of money, but in fairness is less than a tenth of what you'll receive from Netflix in return for the rights to your inspiring life story. Well, if you're a wild-eyed young socialist who can't do math.
If, on the other hand, you're a typical American who actually works for money, those sums may be somewhat more difficult to come up with since, during that same 10 year period, your home and workplace will both be demolished- eventually to be replaced with more energy-efficient structures built by illegal workers with union-mandated siesta times.
But at least the fossil fuel-free future will be bright for our children and grandchildren. Or would be, if we were allowed to have any. Because AOC (as she is called) has also suggested that humans stop procreating owing to the adverse effect those damn babies will have on climate change.
Meaning, to paraphrase "The Princess Bride," every aspect of her Green New Deal is literally "inconceivable."
BONUS: SCARLETT O'HARA IS THE NEW BLACK
We sincerely applaud entertainer Bill Porter for wearing a stunning tuxedo-gown to this year's Oscar Awards ceremony. Not because it's a great look for every guy (though Porter actually pulls it off pretty well), but because we think this single photo is the perfect negation of the falsified image of a dangerously racist and homophobic America which was recently propagated by Jussie Smollet and legions of Fake News people, celebrities, and social justice warriors.
The reality is that our nation is more accepting than any other on Earth. And when a gay black man can wear a gown to a prestigious public event while accompanied by his husband without fear of reprisal, it's because, in the words of Rhett Butler, "frankly, the American people don't give a damn."
That's actually worth celebrating, and not the worst possible finish for an otherwise regrettable Black History Month.
Posted by Stilton Jarlsberg at 12:01 AM