Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Corn Chip On His Shoulder

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Maybe he didn't hear you. Try asking louder a few dozen times.
Considering the gravity of the news in recent days, it's good to sit back and simply enjoy a back-to-basics story in which a self-centered liberal makes a complete asshole of himself in public.

In this instance, we're referring to CNN Anchor (side note: why would a sinking ship need an anchor?) Chris Cuomo, who is the brother of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, the son of former New York Governor Mario Cuomo, and the grandson of mellow voiced, coma-inducing singer Perry Cuomo.

Captured on a now-viral cellphone video, Cuomo completely lost his marbles and started screaming obscenities at a man who called him "Fredo." For those unfamiliar with the term, it was apparently the name of a disappointingly weak character who let everyone down in one of the most famous and critically acclaimed movie trilogies of all time.

We refer, of course, to Fredo Baggins, who lost his nerve and failed to throw the One Ring into the fire of Mount Doom after Sauron made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

In any event, Cuomo howled that the name "Fredo" when applied to an Italian-American is every bit as offensive as using the n-word ("nutjob"). With veins protruding from his neck, the alleged newsman then proceeded to roar "no punk ass bitches from the right call me Fredo!" and added that he was going to "fuck up the shit" of the offender, and then "fucking throw you down the stairs like a fucking punk."

Clearly, "eloquence" isn't Chris Cuomo's middle name. Not that it would matter, because from now on this douchebag's middle name is "Fredo."


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I'm gratified to say that the fundraising effort to help the family of Lucas Hembree has gone very well. Thanks to the generosity of many people, it only took 24 hours to reach the immediate goal of $10,000 to pay for medical bills and hospice care for this remarkable boy. More importantly, the Hembree family has received an overwhelming outpouring of love and support at this unimaginably difficult time.

Although the goal for immediate needs has been met, donations are still accepted and encouraged. I've updated the contact information in my previous post: you can now donate at the GoFundMe page, or click a link to donate through Paypal, or send a check (or a card or letter of support) by mail.

On a personal note, let me say how humbled and gratified I am to see the response this campaign has gotten. I write "Stilton's Place" as a labor of love - not because I love the news or working for free, but because I love the way all of you constantly remind an old cynic that there is a lot of good in this world. And for that, I very sincerely thank you.   -Stilton


Here's How To Contribute:

Click on this link to go to Lucas's GoFundMe page.  Note that GoFundMe automatically adds a "tip/service fee" but you can change the amount. I generally give them a dollar for being the intermediary.

If you'd prefer to send a check rather than doing an online transaction, it can go to 
Chester or Jennifer Hembree, 1454 Mimosa Drive, Louisville, TN 37777.

If you'd like to have the convenience and security of paying online with Paypal, you can do that by clicking this link. (Note: the page at this link will show how much money has been raised on Paypal, but does not show the total from the GoFundMe page. It's still 100% legit!)

And here's a message from the Hembree family to all of us here at Stilton's Place: "Thank you so much for supporting our sweet boy!! It means the world to us and we will forever be grateful!!"


FlyBoy said...

Judging by the way he went off on that guy, I’d say he’s more like Sonny than Fredo.

Jason Anyone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Anyone said...

That one guy that Fast Freda Fredo freaked out on only said it once. How's he gonna handle the one who has probably said it a million times since then?

And so much for "sticks & stones", huh? (And I LOVE how liberals wasted no time on the uptake that "Fredo" is considered racist.)

No worries, though. A Red Alert was put out for all Safe Spaces to update their "swarm expectation" level to DefCon5. Maintenance staff have mops at the ready for liberal tears, and ensuring they have adequate supplies of Swiss Miss WITH marshmallows. (Lest there be an instant increase in need for more mops.)

And the Democraps? Well, they're just gonna keep on impeachin' on. Damn, who needs Netflix when we've got live entertainment?

Anonymous said...

Fredo has no connection to Perry.

Michael Loots said...

It is being reported that fredo called himself fredo in a 2010 interview.

Regnad Kcin said...

Pardon my French, but fuck this pasta-sucking, Cronkite wanna-be. Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, Fredo, ad nauseam...........

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Yesterday #@Stilton said: And while it's sad to think of a GoFundMe as the insurer of last resort, it's actually encouraging that - for now at least - the resource of "the kindness of strangers" is more reliable than government IOU's.

This is actually a proof, of sorts, of the conservative position on public welfare: the charity and altruism of the private sector will always be more capable and effective at caring for those in need than the most efficient government could ever be. Unless, of course, your private sector is left of center. They don't believe in charity except for at the end of a gun.

@Geoof King said: In this case, instead of a horse's head, Cuomo should find a horse's ass in his bed

If someone put a horse's ass in his bed, Fredo would simply believe he'd discovered a heretofore unknown twin...

Elbarto said...

The funniest thing is that Cuomo's reaction couldn't have been more stereotypical if it had been scripted by Hollywood (and because of that reaction he will forever be known as Fredo).

james daily said...

We use to have churches that did a lot of charity work before that became politically incorrect. They still do some but not nearly on the scale of yesteryear. I really believe the LBJ's Great Society just tore the heart out of this country and it may be irreparable. Over 60 years and we have spent many trillions on welfare (which is a misnomer) as it becomes a way of life for millions because it is easy.
On Fredo, I would suggest he not go fishing. BTW: Who else is tired of threats from the liberals, promising death, destruction and incarceration. You wonder if they were raised by animals.

Anonymous said...

Stilton, please provide the address where to send cards/checks.....for those of us who don't feel comfortable making contributions online etc. THANKS for all the help you have provided this family. Magpiez

Fred Ciampi said...

Someone should publish Fredo's mailing address, facebook account, Twitter account, and even perhaps telephone number. That way all of us nice folks could send him an overwhelming amount of things marked Fredo. Or, we could just send missives to CNN addressed to Fredo. Yay.

Anonymous said...

If you watch the video, the other hilarious part is when Cuomo starts his foul mouth freak-out, the guy says to him "you seem much more reasonable in person than on TV".

rickn8or said...

That's the thing about nicknames; if someone lays one on you that you absolutely loathe, and you react at all, it becomes permanently attached like a vital organ. You might as well start signing your documents with it.

If, on the other hand, one is tagged with a nickname that you love or even like a little, and react at all, despite your every effort, you will never be addressed that way again.

That's just how life is.

Enjoy your new nickname Fredo. Al Neri wants to take you fishing.

Geoff King said...

And then there is Don Lemon being accused of sexually assaulting a male bartender in NYC.
Evidently being an anchor on the rapidly failing Clown News Network causes extreme mental instability.

Doctor Deadhead said...

People responded to your request for help because you are a truely kind cynic which shows in your sense of humor. You were probably a great doctor because you balance common sense with the healing power of laughter.

TrickyRicky said...

Love the Frito, Frodo, Fredo trifecta Stilton. This moron reminds me of the Alec Baldwin drunken berating of his daughter. The left, especially the "elites" in the NY-DC-LA swamp are so very nasty and violence-prone. Does anyone really have any doubts they would love to come to a final solution to the deplorable problem? Vote and proselytize as if your life depends on it.

Phil Reale said...

Stilton, the Cuomo brothers are not the grandsons of the late singer, Perry Como. You misspelled the singer's name to be the same as that of the Cuomos. The singer had three kids, two sons and a daughter, but these are Mario's sons.

This is minor compared with the real point of the post, but I know you like to get things right.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- Cuomo will never shake the Fredo label now, which makes me very, very happy.

@FlyBoy- He's definitely got a temper. If no cameras were rolling, he just MIGHT have thrown his provoker down the stairs!

@Jason Anyone- Until the talking heads on Lefty TV informed us, I didn't even know that "Italian" was a race. And calling Cuomo "Fredo" is no more racially/ethnically offensive than calling a white guy "Butthead." Which, for all I know, is what "Fredo" translates to.

@Anonymous- There's a small possibility that I may have lied about that particular relationship.

@Michael Loots- Well, just as long as he beat the hell out of his own bitch ass afterwards...

@Regnad Kcin- Actually, I think your French is just fine!

@Emmentaler Limburger- There's no such thing as charity at the point of a gun, only robbery. I genuinely believe that if taxes were cut to the bone, you'd see an explosion of charitable giving (well, at least from conservatives). When giving freely, the money goes exactly where you want it, and you can see whether or not the organization is efficient in the use of funds. Hardly the case with government.

And yes, a horse's ass in Cuomo's bed seems a little redundant (grin).

@jpb252- As others have pointed out, the best way to complain about Italian stereotypes isn't to threaten to break the other guy's legs. Fredo did everything but threaten his tormentor that he would sleep with the fishes.

@james daily- You're exactly right about what the "Great Society" programs have done to our country, and to charitable giving. Regarding Fredo, I'm also tired of all the threats of violence from the Left. You just don't see that on the Right.

@Magpiez- I've updated the main page today to show the various ways to contribute to Lucas, including by mail. And thank you so much for reaching out to the family!

@Fred Ciampi- That sounds like so much fun that I may have to find means of contacting Mr. Cuomo!

@Snark- Yep!

@Anonymous- The guy trolling Fredo does a beautiful job of staying cool and collected while ramping Cuomo up. The whole thing is a joy to watch!

@rickn8or- If Cuomo had laughed off the "Fredo" label, he might never have heard it again. Now? Not so much.

@Geoff King- I'm pretty sure that we've been told repeatedly that an accusation of sexual assault is so serious that the victim must always be believed - right?

@Doctor Deadhead- Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually a pretty soft-hearted guy. And let me clear up a misconception: although I had a book published ("Who Cut the Cheese?" Crown Publishing) that showed my name as "Stilton Jarlsberg, MD" it was part of a parody of another book which was authored by "Spencer Johnson, MD." I'm not a doctor and never have been. Although in my full-time job (which is decidedly non-political), I have had the wonderful experience of seeing my writing and sense of humor have a positive effect on a lot of children with serious illnesses. For which I'm humbled and grateful.

@TrickyRicky- I don't doubt that these angry Leftists would like a "final solution" for deplorables like us. And I'm getting more than tired of hearing them blame their threats on the "climate of violence" that Trump has allegedly inspired.

@Phil Reale- I appreciate the correction, Phil, but the "Perry Cuomo" reference was intended as a joke. I'd hoped that it would be obvious, but clearly a number of people didn't realize I was kidding!

Americcan Cowboy said...

I keep wondering exactly how much longer the civil right will continue to roll over and accept treatment like this from the uncivil left?
Had I been on the receiving end of that kind of verbal threat and language I can guarantee that FREDO would have either had to put up or shut up. If he put up the result would not have been neat or clean or without substantial pain to FREDO. I may be an "old man" but decades of work in my chosen life style have indeed hardened me more than some city dwelling, latte swilling, soft, mush-for-brains FREDO!

And yes, he does wake up with a horses ass in his bed every morning.

Sortahwitte said...

I would love to have been there. fredo would either learn to fly or smash into the bottom of the stairs. I don't suffer fools. "What video, officer?"

Doctor Deadhead said...

I use Johnny Optimism in my practice daily. Laughte rdd is the best medicine!

Doctor Deadhead said...


Jim Horn said...

Now, what have horses done to deserve such a comparison?

capt fast said...

isn't the remarks fredo made to throw someone down the stairs considered "assault" ???

Shelly said...

It did not go unnoticed by me that Fredo used the "don't you know who I am" card. Fredo is one of many who encouraged Maxine Waters and others to incite violence against conservatives, so it comes as no surprise he would do the same. Had he just brushed it off and ignored the guy, like Ted Cruz and other conservatives do, it would never have become a story. But, no, he let his Italian "racist" rage take over his good sense, which ultimately proves he is unequivocally a Fredo, the dumb brother who only succeeded because of daddy.

John the Econ said...

Quite frankly, I can't imagine what someone could call me that would cause me to react in such a way, especially in a public venue. Perhaps supposed adult Chris Cuomo should look to those Covington Kids for inspiration as to how to behave in such situations.

This episode is also another example of how you are absolutely nobody in today's Progressive world unless you can lay claim to some form of victimhood, even if its source is a fictional character from a movie.

Chris Cuomo is living the comfortable legacy of one of New York's most powerful political families. He's the son of a former New York governor and the brother of the current one. He's an Ivy League graduate and an anchor on CNN. He gets to live the life of an affluent celebrity without the pedestrian concerns that most Americans have to face on a daily basis. He's a walking poster child for privilege.

So what a blessed time and place we live where the biggest thing in life that someone like Chris Cuomo has to worry about is the utterance of a simple word can bring down such a powerful, affluent, privileged man.

Perhaps he really is a "fredo" after all.

John the Econ said...

@james daily said "We use to have churches that did a lot of charity work before that became politically incorrect. They still do some but not nearly on the scale of yesteryear. I really believe the LBJ's Great Society just tore the heart out of this country and it may be irreparable."

That's what a massive welfare state will do. For example, in Europe, charity is now unknown in the way it's still assumed here. And why should it be? When you are already paying 60% or more of your income in taxes that are supposedly intended to replace charity as it was once known and to address these various social problems, why give more?

@Fred Ciampi, I'm already punishing Fredo the best way I can. By not watching CNN.

@Geoff King said "And then there is Don Lemon being accused of sexually assaulting a male bartender in NYC."

I guess I'm old enough to remember when "serious" journalists like Fredo & Lemon would never have engaged in such behavior (at least in public) and if they did, management would have summarily fired them in short order.

This tells you all you need to know about today's CNN.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Jim Horn: "Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?" - G. Gordon Liddy

@Stilton: I was glad to help, in my own small way. My thoughts and prayers remain with Lucas and his family.

John25mm said...

Way too many people got to it first about him waking up with a horses ass in bed or the like. It is a bit of a redundancy.

Capt Fast in SC to make a threat of violence is assault and to even attempt to carry it out is considered battery and you are authorized to resist it with appropriate levels of force.
I am reminded of an old Mork and Mindy line. "Fly and be free."

JustaJeepGuy said...

@rickn8or said,

"If, on the other hand, one is tagged with a nickname that you love or even like a little, and react at all, despite your every effort, you will never be addressed that way again."

That's right. Just ask George "T-Bone" Costanza.

Rod said...

I tried to resist but when back at the computer just HAD to mention the decades old joke about the Italian-made tires; and I'm pretty sure they weren't even radial ply back then:
Dago fast, dago slow and when dago flat dago Wap, Wap, Wap.

If you didn't already know that lame joke: You are a puppy. I first heard it from a college housemate who was Italian from Dago Hill in St. Louis. And we were all car nuts.

Mad celt said...

I thought his name was Abner.

igor said...

@Rod, I heard it as:
Dago through the rain, Dago through the mud, Dago through the snow, and when they go flat Dago, "Wop Wop Wop".
(The non-PC correct spelling is w-o-p, FYI..)

Yep. I'm old too. Do you remember the one about why Italians hate helicopters?

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Igor: No, but I do know why the Second Italian Navy has glass-bottomed boats...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- The only excuse I can make for Fredo's language is that the instigator of this exchange had a real gift for pushing his hot buttons. If someone goes off on you and makes threats, that's bad...but if the other guy jumpstarted the situation with an insult, it changes things a little. Not that I wouldn't have liked to see Cuomo get an ass-whuppin'.

@Sortahwitte- I'm sure the public derision (which won't be stopping any time soon) hurts Fredo just as much as a trip down the stairs would have.

@Doctor Deadhead- I'm in the earliest stages of putting together some Johnny Optimism book compilations. I would love to be able to market them to doctors, or perhaps just draw on my inner Johnny Appleseed to drop copies of the book in waiting rooms everywhere. And what is your practice? I'd love to know!

@Jim Horn- You make a good point. There's nothing inherently awful about a horse's actual ass. Maybe we should change the analogy to a monkey butt. Many of those are absolutely hideous!

@capt fast- Despite what snowflakes claim, I don't think you can be charged with assault if there was no physical contact.

@Shelly- I laughed at the "don't you know who I am" card, and only wish the troll had responded "What is CNN?"

@John the Econ- You're right that Cuomo is SO privileged that he should be able to laugh off any insult - especially one so seemingly lame. The fact that he couldn't really does speak to his lack of character and, perhaps, a bit of self-awareness about his failings.

Regarding charity, I feel good when I'm able to directly fund something I believe in. I do NOT feel good when paying a huge tax bill with the understanding that my money will be passed out to illegals, used to pay for abortions, or to fund social programs in which most of the cash is absorbed by bureaucracy before anything trickles down to those in need.

I'm not sure if I believe the Don Lemon accusation yet, but I'm certainly amused by it - and frankly, I hope he's found guilty. The specifics of the accusation are delightfully appalling.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Liddy had a knack for turning a catchy phase.

@John25mm- I stand corrected on the difference between assault and battery!

@JustaJeepGuy- Nicknames can be a double-edged sword. At a radio station where I worked, I was called "Mr. Continuity" which had a nice ring to it. In middle school, I was called "Butterball," which was less pleasing.

@Rod- I miss jokes like that which weren't really intended to insult anyone. Political correctness is the sworn enemy of humor.

@Mad celt- A common misconception!

@igor- I'm racking my brain for why Italians would hate helicopters. This is going to drive me crazy...

@Edam Wensleydale- Okay, THAT one I know!

Dan said...

@Stilt: The big blade goes wop-wop-wop and the little one goes guinea-guinea-guinea.

Edam Wensleydale said...

@Dan: Hee hee hee! I'd forgotten that one.

Unknown said...

Superb cartoons and insights, especially your reference to Jane Fonda!! In a sane world,
she would have been hanged for treason, preferably in public, say on Boston Common. The
Pay For View receipts could have helped veterans immensely!