Monday, September 23, 2019

Climate Changelings

Last week, millions of teens took to the streets to protest climate change and demand, demand!, that God turn down the thermostat on the sun by a couple of degrees.

Just kidding! They actually want to ban plastic straws, hamburgers, fossil fuels, internal combustion engines, capitalism, and personal freedoms. This is because, according to 100% of scientists (Snopes verified it), man-caused global warming is causing rainforests and aboriginal people to burst into spontaneous flames, Miami to be submerged faster than Shelley Winters in "The Poseidon Adventure," and all life on Earth to be stone dead within 10 years. Well, except for cockroaches and Keith Richards.

The kids believe this because it's what they've been taught - in schools, on television, and on social media. And when we say "taught," we mean force fed like brainless captive geese who'll soon be donating their livers to paté.

With eons of climate cycles in the world's past, we're more than a little skeptical of the whole "man-caused climate change" narrative. But just to be on the safe side, we're addressing the issue with some 100% Earth-friendly recycled cartoons today.

Also, we're going to wrap our feet in plastic bags from the grocery store so that we won't leave carbon footprints.

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, climate change, global warming, protest, sun, consensus, gore, obama, ocean levels

Kids, by all means try this at home!


Dave in WI said...

Sounds like a replay of The Children’s Crusade of about 1212. Only this time they are being led to “slavery of the mind.” Doesn’t Greta T. go to school? What about all the other children?

Jim Irre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim Irre said...

Imagine their shock when, as adults 12 years down the road, some of them figure out they've been had.

REM1875 said...

Damned kids better start thinking of what sort of world they are gonna leave for Willie Nelson and Keith Richards !!!

Brie Camembert said...

First thing children - stop using anything derived from oil or coal (or cows), then see how enthusiastic you are about anthropogenic climate change.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Iron Eyes Cody did more for the cause of ecology with one commercial than all of these nitwits put together...

Fish Out of Water said...

And here in DC, we have this to deal with today.

Mike said...

As a native Floridian, I am doing everything in my power to help. I want to see Miami disappear sooner rather than later.

Studebaker Hauk said...

Maybe kids should stop going to school on a regular basis like they do in the inner cities. It's much harder to un-learn a falsehood than it is to learn the truth. Especially when you've been taught from infancy that YOU are the center of the universe.

Gary said...

It's the perfect scam for politicians. If they manage to pass any kind of legislation to fight climate change, then 12 years from now, they can say, see it worked. We saved the world

Geoff King said...

Yesterday, to mark the last day of summer, I awoke to 24°.
Yeah, climate change concerns the hell out of me.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I wonder how many brainwashed kiddies would have joined the protest-parades had they been held on a Saturday.....

TrickyRicky said...

I hope I live long enough to enjoy the schadenfreude when the oncoming Maunder Minimum brings the next episode of major cooling. River Thames frozen, crop failures and famine, people freezing in their homes due to the outlawing of fossil fuels.....good times.

Average Joe said...

And if I remember correctly, he was an Italian American actor and not Native American.

rickn8or said...

Just wait until what few of the little darlings that remember what Friday out of school was all about discover that nobody is leaping to assuage their temper tantrums on Monday.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dave in WI- I don't blame the kids, they're just parroting what they've been taught. As for little Greta T, she seems to enjoy great financial "privilege" which (along with Asperger's and OCD) may keep her out of school.

@Jim Irre- It will be the "D'oh!!!" heard 'round the world.

@REM1875- Wise words.

@Brie Camembert- I'd say that they'll end up in caveman conditions, only they'll also be denied particulate-producing fire.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- That was a helluva commercial, alright.

@Fish Out of Water- A sad example of man-caused traffic change.

@Mike- I think "let Miami sink" is pretty much the accepted consensus.

@Studebaker Hauk- A lot of people never un-learn the lies. The system needs to change...but how?

@Gary- That's absolutely the way they'll play it.

@Geoff King- 24°?! Lordy, we're still hitting the 90's every day around here! Although that's not climate change, it's Texas.

@Alfonso Bedoya- Not frickin' many, I'll bet.

@TrickyRicky- They'll blame it on "Manmade Maunder Minimumizing."

@Average Joe- Yep, "Iron Eyes Cody" was Italian-American and not Native American. But damn...he looked good!

@rickn8or- You're right. I saw a lot of signs demanding "change," but not any suggesting how it could happen. These kids might as well be baying at the moon for all the "change" they're going to bring about.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Stilton: In other words, the kids are begging for climate spare change? ;)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Well played, sir!

igor said...

"Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose" is never truer today!

John the Econ said...

"Last week, millions of teens took to the streets to protest climate change...", and then went back to their comfortable 21st century lives by Friday afternoon, as though there was no crisis at all.

That's the funny thing about Progressives. They make a lot of noise, but it's always up to someone else to do the heavy lifting.

What these transparently uneducated kids don't seem to understand is that their Progressive handlers are literally campaigning to repeal the 20th century. As well as being anti-fossil fuel, they're also anti-nuclear. The reality is that the difference simply cannot be made up by so-called "renewables". These kids honestly do not understand what that means; Not only no more Internet and smartphones. No more A/C in the summer or central heat in the winter. No more whatever food you'd like at restaurants or the grocery store. Your dream careers as a social media influencers will no longer exist. The only jobs that will exist will likely include hard, physical labor; the kind my great-grandparents assumed would be their entire lives until they dropped dead. Since most labor will be manual in nature, it will again be dominated by the stronger males whereas women will again assume roles as homemakers. Soy-boy beta males will quickly die off. (Okay, that last part will be an improvement)

Climate Change, the Cult:

For decades now, I've argued that "climate change" (formerly known as "global warming" before the globe stopped warming) is largely a religion with the left. Now, it's officially transition into being a cult.

In fact, it's become clear now that the anti-carbon and Green New Deal agenda differs little from one that played out over 4 decades ago, where people who had been convinced that their situations were hopeless and looking for meaning in their lives surrendered all their worldly possessions and followed a charismatic socialist leader into a jungle to toil in the fields for a subsistence existence while armed guards patrolled the perimeter and their leader sat in the shade all day broadcasting stream of consciousness platitudes to them over the PA.

In fact, there are only a few differences that I can see. The first is that unlike those who followed Jim Jones, joining this new cult won't be voluntary and we won't have to travel to a far-away jungle to experience it. They'll impose their purgatory upon us in-place.

The second is that instead of one Kool-Aid dispensing leader, most of these cult members honestly believe that they'll all be the leaders sitting in air conditioned comfort while blathering forth their piety over social media, and the people toiling in the sun will be the lesser woke people who aren't them.

Don't believe me? If you should come across any of these "our future is doomed" kids, ask them what they think they will be doing in their new carbon-free world. I'm willing to bet that none of them will answer "work in the fields".

John the Econ said...

@Dave in WI said "Sounds like a replay of The Children’s Crusade of about 1212. Only this time they are being led to “slavery of the mind.”"

Nope. Read above. They're being led to the new feudalism; It won't be "slavery of the mind", but literal slavery to poverty while their Progressive overlords live the relative life of feudal kinds.

@Jim Irre said "Imagine their shock when, as adults 12 years down the road, some of them figure out they've been had."

I wonder if Greta will ever realize that she really doesn't know anything and has only been used as a tool.

@Fish Out of Water, another thing these idiots don't realize: These people are "the rich" in that they are rich in "leisure time". Leisure time is in fact modern luxury that until the 20th century was something only available to the very wealthy.

So what we have happening here are rich people interfering in the lives of the productive class who have to get to the work that makes the lives of the protesters possible. Not very smart.

@Mike, I'm afraid that Miami will be around much longer than AOC will be.

@Studebaker Hauk, if anything, last week's walk-out proved that schooling as these kids are experiencing it is a complete waste of time.

@Gary, "Climate Change" is both the excuse for the embarrassing results of bad Progressive policy, and the excuse to impose more bad Progressive policy.

@Geoff King, snow is in our forecast for later this week. In September. Remember when they told us that snow was to be a thing of the past and that I'd be growing my tomatoes into November?

@TrickyRicky, this is why they moved the goalposts and renamed the crisis from "global warming" to "climate change". Now any weather event can be declared part of the crisis. We could be buried under a thousand-foot thick sheet of ice, and they'll still hang on to this narrative.

sorella said...

IMHO this is all much ado about nothing and, if the deranged media didn't "report" it, most people would never have heard about it. Have they (the media) never heard of weather cycles?

Angus ranch said...

Snow showers here in North Dakota this weekend. Guess we'll plant shorter season crops next year.

Colby Muenster said...


That thousand foot thick sheet of ice is, after all, climate change, right? I still recall the predictions of a coming ice age when I was in high school a zillion years ago. Last Winter, I almost started believing it was here. Then, this summer I denounced my previous "almost believing it" and started wondering if AlGorhythm had it right; we're all going to die in a flaming ball. Betting that this coming winter, I'll be back in the "ice age" camp.

Strange how those seasons work, isn't it, folks? Gotta go call the fuel oil guy now..... and split some firewood....

Colby Muenster said...

Oh! And how the hell can Liberals totally ignore REAL crises, like tons of illegal drugs pouring across our southern border, or Iran (who have sworn to wipe us and Israel off the map) on the verge of having nuclear weapons? Nope.... let's go to the streets and rage against the weather, or have hissy fits if someone is seen wearing a red hat.

Old Cannonballs said...

I wonder if Iron Eyes Cody might be 1024th Indian? If he's not even that, Fauxcahontas could carry a picture of him around with her while she was stumping, and tell audiences that DNA tests prove she has more Indian blood in her than the guy in the picture. She should wear war paint and a headdress when she does it, and lots of turquoise and beadwork, and eat fry bread "Indian tacos" in front of the cameras.

I can't believe that Social Justice Warriors are embracing a white person who made a career of passing for a "person of color" to fraudulently take of advantage of programs that were set up to benefit minorities. Thei hypocrisy of her supporters stinks to high heaven.

MAX Redline said...

My daughter (29 now) has Asberger syndrome and is way smarter than little Greta. She just doesn't get the air-time. Doesn't fit the narrative.

John the Econ said...


"How dare you!"

The embarrassing thing is not that an overindulged teenager gave a temper tantrum, but that supposed adults in our government and media took it seriously.

Dear Greta: This awful economic growth you supposedly reject is the only reason you get to exist and have the easy life you have. How dare you condemn people who have a fraction of the cushy existence that you do to a life of misery and deprivation.

james daily said...

I have come to the conclusion that this nation is woefully short of adults. It seems that their brain reaches maybe 12 years old and then stops functioning on critical thinking. How in the world can "man" affect climate change to cause a planet to die? It is more likely volcanos could cause this or the sun with a solar flare. Robert Felix wrote a book in the '90s about the coming mini ice age that will destroy the crops because of shorter growing seasons, the magnetic reversal of the earth and other stuff that we can do nothing about. The astonishing thing about this is how little the temperature has to drop to cause this.

As the ice at the poles increases, look forward to colder, shorter summers, longer winters. These climate change nitwits are just off the track. They are not stupid but ignorant. They believe the lies, the fake scientific reports and other such claptrap.
Personally, I doubt a 2 x 4 would get their attention.

KanB said...

Good thing this movement didn't occur to the cave men shortly after they discovered fire. We'd be up shits creek right about now. AND I do believe we actually are one big volcanic pop away from another "mini ice age", and that's probably also "Scientist Consensus".

John the Econ said...

@james daily said "I have come to the conclusion that this nation is woefully short of adults.

Indeed. Being an adult is hard. It used to be that a adolescent had to become an adult just to survive. However, an unfortunate consequence of the extreme affluence our nation has bestowed upon us for generations now is that it's no longer necessary for a large percentage of our population to become "adults". It's now possible to remain an adolescent well into middle-age, if not all the way through an entire life. (I've known a few such people)

One of the features of the failure to transition to adulthood is never having to replace reacting emotionally to live to reacting intellectually or logically. Reacting emotionally is the easy default in life. Reacting intellectually is work. It's much easier to react emotionally to the proclamations of the "experts" than to actually become educated on any particular topic.

So that's why we get Greta and her theatrics in the news. Most of the people reacting to Greta are no more mature than she is. It should be embarrassing. It certainly would be to the minds that participated in the renaissance that elevated western civilization out of the dark ages; ironically a place that Greta and her environmental extremists are working diligently to return us to.

Speaking of climate silliness: NBC News wants your climate confessions.

Climate Confessions

"Even those who care deeply about the planet's future can slip up now and then. Tell us: Where do you fall short in preventing climate change? Do you blast the A/C? Throw out half your lunch? Grill a steak every week? Share your anonymous confession with NBC News."

My climate confession? I refuse to acquiesce my personal sovereignty to eco-fascists.

Rod said...

Just got back and checking in: As a starting point I suggest all these doomsday sea level predicting jerksfigure out the difference between (A) Sea level rising and (B) Land surface falling... a key factor here is having reliable DATUM... then keep the two separate from now on.

Pat Cummings said...

I gave up on "climate change" predicted by computer models when I learned that a major factor in real global climate temperature shifts (ice-age onset/global warming vs. purely seasonal weather changes) is atmospheric dust. The modelers know that airborne dust (of the hundred-thousand-year dust-storm kind that generated global loess deposits in geologic history) triggers climate changes, but they don't know which direction the trigger will shift the climate.

At all.

So they just leave it out of the model...

John the Econ said...

@Pat Cummings, practically everything that actually impacts the actual climate is ignored by the models because they don't suit the political agenda: Justify taking over the entire economy. Of all the greenhouse gases, CO2 is but a trace gas and among the most mediocre at retaining heat. And yet that is the total focus. Particulates in the atmosphere are today a non-issue because western nations invested heavily 40 years ago to eliminate the human caused percentage. Most of the anthropogenic particulate emissions now come from China, India and other "developing" nations, so they don't count. Meanwhile, the sun is going to do what the sun does and it doesn't count either.

Complete fraud.