Wednesday, September 18, 2019

The Retractions Are Coming Five Minutes Apart

Well, there's egg on our face today, and we've got the journalistic integrity to admit it. We had a whole "Stilton's Place" ready to go which was poking fun at the New York Times for running a seemingly bogus story about a new (albeit not new at all) allegation of sexual misconduct against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

A story which became so widely repeated that virtually every Democrat and news outlet started screaming once again for Justice Kavanaugh's immediate impeachment or, perhaps, burning at the stake.

Our skepticism about the story was related, in part, to the fact that the "sexual assault" described by the NY Times (and not remembered by the alleged "victim") did not sound like anything that was even humanly possible.

But then this morning, the NY Times printed an addition to the story that makes it all too plausible:

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, nyt, new york times, kavanaugh, supreme court, allegation, sexual assault, lies, journalism, fake news

Reaction to the update on the story was swift and dramatic, with Democrat presidential candidate Beto O'Rourke declaring, "Hell yes, I'll take his huge dick," ironically leaving fellow candidates Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg with nothing to say on the subject.

In the interest of providing a quick and thorough investigation of the NY Times' latest allegations, Justice Kavanaugh has agreed to be questioned by representatives from the Guinness Book of World Records.



Kay said...

Sorry but that is a story too hard to swallow!

Jim G. said...

You said "immense head"! (Insert the Beavis and Butt Head teenager giggles)

Fish Out of Water said...

Deliciously funny, but folks this ain't where it ends.

While its going nowhere, and aspiring neo-facist from Massachusetts, and member of the so-called "sqaud" (I'm more partial to The Gang of Four) has introduced an impeachment resolution.

The bigger picture is the neo-facists who now run the democratic party, are frightened to their core of losing control of SCOTUS and thus their final bastion to overreach and override, all towards creating their socialist "utopia " with most of us, numbed and dumbed serfs.

Jim Irre said...

Given enough rope the fools will typically expose (hang) themselves for what they are. The NYT has proven they belong in the grocery aisle.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ Jim Irre: I've always said that a newspaper without a comics section, is a newspaper that takes itself and life, far too seriously.

Oh btw, it bears repeating the NYT has a history of being on the wrong side.

It opposed building the Statue of Liberty and reported that all was well o. Stalin's Soviet Union. Got a Pulitzer for that, which it has never returned.

Fred Ciampi said...

And yes, I do remember when the media reported the news, not made it up. Going back 100+ years the only 'exaggerators' were those selling 'snake oil'. Now it seems that every news outlet, paper, TV, radio, et al makes up their own spin on that they perceive as newsworthy. Collectively they are all selling snake oil. It seems that only some internet news reporting and short wave radio are the only accurate news outlets left.

Looking at today's media would make Goebbels proud. 'Nuff said. Oh, where did I leave my 180 proof?......

Fish Out of Water said...

Final thought before I leave for my 8 hours. Doesn't the NYT's proud motto, 'All the News That's Fit to Print' , sound more like Orwellian doublethink now?

Rod said...

I am up early and pretty groggy anyway, no shower or coffee yet, also extra-confused because an LED dusk to dawn yard light I installed yesterday (and thought was defective since it did not initially come on when I covered up the light sensor) is indeed WORKING this morning... it's a damned miracle I tell you... anyway back to Stiltons Place: Upon first reading this one I quickly checked to see if I'd been in coma for the winter and today was 1 April 2020.

Geoff King said...

This renewed attack on Kavanaugh leads me to believe that the left must have some inside information on the upcoming demise of RBG, and they are running scared that the SCOTUS may become an institution where the Constitution actually takes precedence over their agenda.

Sortahwitte said...

It's interesting that the nyt (the old, gray, dead lady) continues to believe they even know what a journalist is and does. The demise of journalism in the last 50 years is a fact that even they can't twist to their own edification. I believe that rbg is already dead as a possum on I-35. She's probably hooked up to some frankenstein machine that will keep her breathing until 2024. I can only hope that even then will not be long enough.

ringgo1 said...

It seems somehow appropriate that today's "discussion" regarding Justice "HorseOrgan"'s junk is happening on "hump day". "Ladies, start your engines!" I'll just see myself out now...don't forget to leave a "tip".

Chuck Baker (Macon) said...

I have come to believe that the media has ALWAYS "reported" (or ignored if necessary) the actual news with bias. As the left has leaned further and further to the left, the media bias has shifted in unison … because they are the same group. It is only with the advent of the alternative media that there are people attempting to hold the mainstream media accountable for their lies. Unfortunately, the typical uninformed voter (and they are legion) only knows the "facts" as they are spoon fed by the media … if they even know that. Actually, I believe there are more people that know nothing more than what they've seen it on social media than follow the news.

Q: What sort of Government have you given us, Dr. Franklin?
A: (Benjamin Franklin) A Republic, madam, if you can keep it.

That's a mighty big IF, and it looks like we won't keep it … because a majority of US just don't care.

DrDave said...

Just got done running through the news at Breitbart and Gateway Pundit and found myself shouting at my screen in mind-boggling dismay. Then over here, to find myself laughing out loud after the first 3 minutes. The emotional whiplash is wrenching, but at least I finish relaxed with a smile my face and a better outlook on life. Thanks, Stilt!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Kay- It chokes me up, too.

@Jim G.- Wow, I can't slip anything past you! (grin)

@Fish Out of Water- The Left doesn't even bother to hide their agenda anymore; they want to make the SCOTUS into a Progressive tool, and they want to cross out many parts of the Bill of Rights. And given the chance, they'll do both.

@Jim Irre- Sadly, stories like "New York Times full of sh*t" only tend to stay visible for a few days, if even that. I'm sure on MSM, they're already citing the NYT again like it was the received word of God.

@Mike- I don't necessarily disbelieve everyone who makes those claims, but there have been so many hoaxes and outright lies that no one gets credibility from the nature of their accusation...only from the nature of their evidence.

@Fish Out of Water- I don't think the NYT should have to return Pulitzers for erroneous reporting, but I DO have some suggestions for where those awards should be vigorously relocated.

@Fred Ciampi- Good observations, and the key word you used here is "selling." The (ha!) news media now isn't interested in reporting the truth, they're only interested in getting ad revenue (or subscription revenue) from attracting eyeballs. So they invent what will get them views and make people fearful or angry. And yeah, where IS that 180 proof?!

@Fish Out of Water- Their slogan does chill me, as does the Washington Post's slogan "Democracy Dies in Darkness." Which should always be accompanied by an evil laugh.

@Rod- It's pretty much always April 1st around here.

@Geoff King- Actually, I think the explanation for the NYT piece is that they wanted to push a new book by a couple of NYT reporters by creating some unwarranted sensationalism. Of course, it's always a bonus for them to rile up the easily riled.

@Sortahwitte- I genuinely question whether anyone currently at the NYT genuinely knows what journalism is. If they do, it sure as hell isn't making it into print.

@ringgo1- I think "humping" was the actual accusation that Christine Blasey Ford made. Sheesh.

@Chuck Baker (Macon)- I completely agree. The news media has always been flawed (as are all human endeavors), but it's worse now than it's ever been. We're being shoveled a 24/7 partisan product that only pretends to be news. And Benjamin Franklin's warning seems more ominous than ever.

@DrDave- Glad you got a laugh - that's why I'm here! I think laughter helps us cope and put things into perspective...or at least helps forestall an aneurysm.

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, thanks for putting a hilarious spin on a disgusting and terrifying development in the continuing slide into oblivion to which the left seems to aspire. The redux of Blasey Ford's lawyer and her twisted "logic" is classic and pretty much sums up the left's program. They are always correct, and when they're damn bad. STFU and pay your taxes to keep the collective rolling.

@ringgo1- Well played!

rickn8or said...

The "big dick" story would go a long way toward explaining the animosity toward Kavananugh; reducing the entire story to nothing but a huge case of penis-envy.

That and a bunch of free publicity for a book that's going straight to the bargain bin once it's printed.

Pat Cummings said...

@ringgo1: Stilt's piece set me laughing, but your phrase, Justice "HorseOrgan"'s junk, had me rolling on the floor! You both got me over the hump," so to speak...

Dukem said...

I say this as almost absolute truth:

Life would be unbearable in the current climate were it not for Stilton's Place.

It is a beacon (and a HUGE one at that) in a sea of sludge,

Or something like that.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me that you can't impeach justice Kavanaugh for something from 30 years ago. It has to be for something he did while sitting on the court. Am I possibly mis-informed?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TrickyRicky- Today, I really didn't want to do yet another commentary on the fact that the New York Times just makes up and publishes utter bullshit. It stuck me as funnier to just put together a preposterous story with their banner on it. I'm sure there is a small but significant number of Libs who could see this "article" and declare that it's solid proof of Kavanaugh's misdeeds.

@rickn8or- By all accounts, the book is trash. The authors point out that there's no evidence supporting the allegations against Kavanaugh but they (the authors) feel in their guts that Kavanaugh is guilty. Complete crap.

@Pat Cummings- Yeah, "horse organ" is undeniably funny. Unless you're an elephant.

@Dukem- So you're saying I should charge for this site? (Kidding! I'm kidding! And thanks!)

@Anonymous- I don't think you could bring criminal charges after 30 years, especially in a lame brain case like this where there's not even a victim who says it ever happened. But I think Kavanaugh could theoretically be impeached for moral turpitude or "conduct unbecoming a Justice" or something, even if he never did anything wrong. The Dems just need enough power to make it happen.

rickn8or said...

Kavanaugh's got to pass a purity test that none of the other justices are subject to. Maybe the Left is trying to get him to "get his mind right".

WDS said...

No wonder Lindsey Graham (2.Zero btw) has bent over backwards in support of Brett....

Old Cannonballs said...

@ everyone - Shhh! Don't let the Left find out how critical this blog is to the mental health of America's conservatives, or Stilt may mysteriously end up, ahem, "taken care of." Permanently. (Sorry Stilt, don't mean to add to the demons you have to fight off.)

John the Econ said...

The Retractions Are Coming Five Minutes Apart

Brilliant title for today's post. And as @Stilton well knows, the key to good comedy is a well-founded connection to the truth, something that the New York Times has long since abandoned. (It's also why most mainstream "comedy" isn't particularly funny anymore) Quite frankly, after the last 3 years I don't see how even leftist Democrats can take the New York Times the least bit seriously anymore. They've fully transitioned to being little more than a propaganda rag for the Democratic Party with a decent crossword puzzle.

As for the latest Kavanaugh dustup: About 20 years or so ago, I detected a new phenomenon that Progressives were openly deploying as they propagated their phony narratives:

It could be true, and that's what is important.

I first noticed this within the feminist movement, which at the time had declared an all-out war on maledom with the all men are potential rapists narrative. Any accusation against any male was to be taken as fact, unless, of course, they were against a popular Democratic President.

This phenomenon hit the national stage with Dan Rather's hit piece on George W Bush's National Guard service three decades earlier based upon a transparently phony memo that was obviously written on a modern PC and printer. Even after being exposed for the fraud that it was, the supposedly eminently respectable Dan Rather doubled-down on the fraud with the "Yeah, the memo might not be real, but the story is" narrative. A decade and a half later, the Progressive media is still trying to preserve the phony narrative.

Translation: The media has now openly justifying lying about any issue they consider important for what they consider the greater good.

Which of course, means "Get Trump!", and by extension anything else that the left considers a threat to the Progressive agenda. The New York Times is now openly admitting that they are no more objective than the Soviet era Pravda

As I mentioned the other day, this also applies to other issues, such as "the climate crisis", where a cabal of supposedly "independent" publications have all pledged to uncritically print the exact same narrative. We have no objective proof that CO2 is exclusively responsible for climate change, but it could be true and so we need to re-order the global economy to a form more suited to our political vanity.

So is it any wonder that people now consider journalists on par with used car salesmen and nobody with any semblance of intellect takes them at face value anymore?

John the Econ said...

@Fish Out of Water, I think Republicans should be encouraging the Democrats to go along with the "gang of four" and go forward with their impeachment resolution. At every opportunity, they should be throwing rubber chickens at Democrats.

And yes, they know they're about to lose control of the courts for a generation. (Hence the Kavanaugh fraud) Progressives need the courts to implement the fascism that the voters will never acquiesce to. (Progressives say they love "democracy" except when they don't)

@Mike, they have destroyed credibility. As Jussie's lawyers still hang on to the "could have been true" narrative, other idiots continue to try playing the same card.

I believe that "hate crime" laws should apply to these people. No only are they fermenting hate against people who are in no way responsible, they are also destroying credibility of their own community for wholly narcissistic reasons.

@Fish Out of Water, don't forget the NYTs covering for the Holocaust. They are always ready to spring against supposed Nazi Trump, while conveniently forgetting their history of covering for the real Hitler.

Motto should be "All the news we see fit to print".

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I'm confused. Doesn't "Enormous Dick" describe virtually everyone with a (D) after their name nowadays?

james daily said...

I suggest congress investigate this large penis and have Barney Frank as an expert witness. On the NYT, if this is the newspaper of record, we are in deep doo-doo as the historians try to separate the fiction from the truth as if truth matters since truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. The former Sunday editions might weight 5 pounds or so, now, maybe 12 ounces. One thing for sure, accuracy is not in their forte.

rickn8or said...

@ M. Mitchell Marmell: Well, it DOES describe their behavior.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- The Left wants Kavanaugh to pass a purity test that can't be passed: refute non-verified accusations and show no sign of temper or defensiveness while you're being slandered.

@WDS- Not that there's anything wrong with that.

@Old Cannonballs- I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm flying under the Left's radar. Granted, that also means that I'm a well kept secret, but it's better than being on Hillary's hit list.

@John the Econ- Funny you should mention the NYT crossword puzzle. Although I'm morally aggrieved to do so, I pay for an annual electronic subscription to their crossword for Mrs. J. Rather hilariously, each day's puzzle is analyzed and commented on by a guy named Rex Parker (on his blog). This guy goes absolutely apesh*t whenever a clue seems like it has a right-leaning bent, making for some pretty funny reading. He has one of the most severe cases of TDS I've ever seen, and at this point I'm pretty sure the puzzle's editor (Will Shortz) is including such clues just to piss Parker off.

Great analysis of the "it could be true" and "the story is more important than the facts" situation we now find ourselves in. What's amazing is the absolute shamelessness of the Left in accepting and promoting these standards.

And yes, people who file false reports of hate crimes should be tried for hate crimes and receive significant punishments. In today's tense environment, such hoaxes are almost literally yelling "fire" in a crowded theater.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- Now that you mention it...

@james daily- The NYT is hardly the "newspaper of record" anymore. With all of their endlessly repeating lies, they're more the newspaper of broken record.

@rickn8or- And not in a good way.

Fish Out of Water said...

@ John the Econ: The NYT covering up the Holocaust? That I didn't know.

@ Stilton: 'Democracy dies in Darkness' should be followed by a full-throated Vincent Price laugh.....

Greeno said...

Nailed it.

John the Econ said...

In related news, I am about the same age and I used to live near places that Kamala Harris has lived. Is it possible that Kamala Harris grabbed my **** at some point? It's certainly is, although I don't recall that ever happening and there is absolutely no evidence what so ever that such a thing ever did happen. But I'm sure that someone I may more may not know with less scruples than I do does recall the incident.

The thing is that it could have happened, and that is what is really important. Will the New York Times report on that as well?

Pat Cummings said...

@Stilton: Try to get your spouse to switch to the Wall Street Journal I subscribe to that pub for the same reason, except I am the one addicted to the crosswords. You can still read Parker's blog for the laugh without paying for the privilege! Mike Shenk also edits a mean puzzle. (The WSJ recently revealed that he writes many of them as well...)