We thought it was high time for the cartoon above, which is intended to lift the spirits of those who only see the unpleasant side of plague, famine, and the looming risk of societal collapse. Remember, every dark cloud has a silver lining - although what looks like a silver lining is frequently a lightning bolt with your name on it.
Still, we can take heart from the many examples of families who are doing just fine while under lockdown...
BONUS: SHOP AT HOME WITH MORE SPENSIVE GIFTS!
Here are some more poorly-xeroxed items from our 30 year old "Spenser Gifts" catalog parody. The longer self-isolation goes on, the more you're going to actually want to buy one or more of these items...
"Every major orifice and one ear"? Oh my.
So glad I dropped by today for the surprise Easter post.
You must be getting pretty stir-crazy as well.
@Rod- I actually hit the wrong key and accidentally posted the Monday edition on Sunday for a few minutes. I then moved it back to Monday where it belonged! So yeah...maybe a little stir-crazy...
We didn't wait until the current plague for "Casual Friday" stylin' every day of the week!
But the Dominos guy won't deliver to us anymore...
It's nice to see, when I'm up late, that Stilton's Place is there. I really look forward to it. It's my high point every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday early morning.
I think I need to get out more. (A statement that has a different nuance lately.)
@Stilton: “People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.”
Also, you fool nobody with that "Anteater carrier". It's obviously a urinal bong.
As a certified Weather Guesser ...
Er...that Should read as Meteorologist-
I can assure you Sir that the Silver Lining you see
is NOT the lightning bolt that has your name on it.
Because you will never see the one coming your way.
It is in fact your neighbor's personal greeting card/one way ticket.
Trust me, You can take that handy dandy info to the bank,
cause I never get MY forecasts wrong...
What is that smell?
It smells like burning corduroy.
(I LOVE my job,
where else can you be wrong half the time
and still be employed?)
For a truly delicious mouthwatering, lip-smacking, taste sensation, wrap your hands around a boiled Tongue on a Bun sammich for dinner on washday.
MSG Grumpy (I LOVE my job, where else can you be wrong half the time and still be employed?)
Can you say politician?
Some of the memes out there are pretty good lately. Here are a few of the ones I like.
I haven't been late for anything for the past three weeks.
Whoever said one person can't change the world never eat an undercooked bat.
87% of gym members don't even know the gym is closed.
Coronavirus tip #3046. With a mask on you can mouth the words f&%k you all day long and no one will ever know.
Ah toilet paper hording explained; some people are eating their own cooking for the first time.
If you get an email with the subject line "Knock, knock" don't open it. It is a Jehovah witness working from home.
After all the stupid things I've done in my life if I die because I toughed my face I'm going to be pissed.
Where is Morgan Freeman? Shouldn't he be narrating this crap or something?
Everyone stay safe.
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!!!!
For the "glass half full" arguments, I'd add that the country has been shut down for a month now and we're not Venezuela, yet. Not that Progressives aren't trying.
Love the catalog parody! It should be in print for all to enjoy.
@Pat Cummings- You owe me a keyboard AND a monitor.
"...simply cut shoe in half..." sent me into convulsions. I need to take a break from the nothing that I was doing and take a nap now.
As a child, we had a "martian children thingy" , but my mother put it on me to cut my hair. In theory, it collected the hairs and kept them off your clothes. In fact, it funneled it directly down my back. My mom was a big fan of those companies. I think her favorite was Fingerhut. As I got older and became a wise ass, I called it fingerfoot.
Sioux has limited me to one hour of youtube per day. I set the kitchen timer and am expected to abide by it. There's just so much good stuff. Is there a 'tube abuse group?
@Rod: Please don't cast aspersions on Stilton. We're all stir-crazy by this time. If we weren't before now...
@John25mm: I totally stole your list for a comment on the Pookie's Toons meme and cartoon collection on The Right Reasons!
@TrickyRicky: Try your hand at the quiz I just posted in the comments on Pookie’s Toons. There's a premium prize: a mega-roll of toilet paper!
Now that wearing a mask is socially acceptable and most people are presently unemployed and going broke, when will we be seeing reports of perps going from gas station to liquor store to whatever else remains open doing multiple armed robberies because, "Hey! - I was wearing the mask anyway"?
@Pat Cummings- Maybe they didn't like the tip. (double entendre entirely intended)
@Dan- Glad to be here for you!
@M. Mitchell Marmel- Oooh, trippy! Regarding a urinal bong, is it operated by one person or two?
@MSG Grumpy- Owing to your expertise, I'll grudgingly concede that lightning isn't actually something you can see coming and think "you know, I should really consider moving out of the way." It's more like BLAM - after which your body parts are scattered over an area the size of a football field.
@Bobo- Pop that tongue in the dryer for extra crispy!
@John25mm- Those are great memes, one and all, and as the saying goes: "they're funny because they're true."
@FlyBoy- But wait! There's more! (honest!)
@John the Econ- In my neighborhood, I'm not noticing any more raping and pillaging than usual.
@TrickyRicky- Getting the Spensive Gifts catalog on Amazon is definitely on my "to do" list.
@Studebaker Hauk- Half the fun in screwing with those product pictures is reinterpreting what's right there on the page. Why assume we've got an x-ray vision view of the shoe insert when we're clearly shown a shoe that's been cut in half?
@Sortahwitte- My Mom would cut our hair in the kitchen with a towel wrapped around our shoulders. Still, there were plenty of tickling clippings that somehow got down my shirt. On a barely related note, gin is one of the few liquors I won't willingly drink because I think it tastes like my memory of the burning hair smell that Mom's electric clippers generated when giving haircuts to four kids at a time.
@Pat Cummings- Oh, Rod is without sin. I accidentally posted today's offering on Easter Sunday, and his comment was referring to the fact that I'd make an "extra" post. I then nuked that post, moved it to today, but copied Rod's comment. Also, I looked for your quiz at Pookie's Toons but didn't see it.
@Geoff King- Despite wearing a mask, I'd never commit such a crime. Mostly because I'm sort of an overweight, old, dorky looking guy with poor fashion sense, and I'd be easy to identify even WITH a mask.
We now live in a country where, depending on where you live, you can be arrested for exercising religious freedom, paddleboarding by yourself in the ocean, playing t-ball with your son in your own backyard, visiting a friend or relative, selling paint or other home improvement products, walking your dog without wearing a mask, or even leaving your home without an approved reason. All this because of a disease, which the ever changing models suggest will be no worse than an average flu season, and will be far less deadly than cancer, car wrecks, heart disease, or abortions.
Welcome to the Land of the Sheep, and the Home of the Slaves.
The CDC estimates that around the normal average of 60,000 people in the U.S. will die from the flu this year. Less than half that number have supposedly died from covid 19. I say "supposedly" because, evidently, any death these days where the deceased has tested positive for Coronavirus is listed as a death by that virus. He shot himself in the head, but tested positive for Covid 19, so add his name to the deaths by Coronavirus list.
It is, however, comforting to know that a major advocate of depopulating the world, Bill Gates, has invested heavily in drug companies that are working on vaccines for the Coronavirus. It is also good to know that he funded a clinical test denouncing the effectiveness of Hydroxychloroquine where the control group was given large doses of vitamin C, instead of a placebo.
This is GREAT! Stilton, who has a hellofalot of things going on and so much of that is top-tier entertainment for us in this time of extreme need... takes the time to come to my defense and even pronounce me "without sin". We had watched & listened to Easter service yesterday by live-stream and it was pretty good. Easter 2020 under stay-at-home orders which probably should not be neglected must be very disappointing to many; but we even complimented those at church who made that broadcast happen. But then THIS announcement (above). I am humbled.
@Geoff King- Makes me wonder exactly what will really be in those "vaccines" that the guy who designed computers that readily get infected with virus's will have in them?
Call me a rebel, but I do not believe that I will be willingly subjecting myself to any of those injections. At my age, I am willing to take my chances without any so called vaccine.
Good timing while on an internet crawl: I just found this somehow by way of "The Daily Gouge".
Enjoy: George Carlin on a roll about germs: https://youtu.be/X29lF43mUlo
Oops. Sorry in some cases I think. I've no idea why that did not work but what you're looking for? I see it linked there. If must bushwhack your way to it on your own, just search for George Carlin about germs.
I think it's just the damned You-Tube ads. If anyone knows how to work around that we'd all be very grateful I'm sure.
Food for thought:
@Stilt, Where's Johnny O. today??
@Stilt: It was in a comment:
Superb! "Every country in the world has the Corona Virus now, but China got it right off the bat."
Not to mention "The political party who lost 33,000 emails wants mail-in voting." It would be funny, if it wasn't true...
And I love the complexity in the "F****ing milennials" toon! (9 separate "racist"—or otherwise—allusions. And a roll of premium TP to whoever first lists all 9.)
Great beginning to the post-Easter, open-up-already, week, Pookie!
Stilt, I am appalled by your attempt to get a cheap laugh by using Our Lord and Savior's name in a manner completely devoid of any reverence. I expected better from you.
@Old Cannonballs- Sorry to offend and, though it's not a good excuse, I DID write the gag some 30 years ago. Additionally, the cartoon isn't about making fun of Jesus but rather poking fun at those who would use His name for marketing purposes devoid of reverence. But still, I do sincerely apologize to anyone offended!
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