Friday, June 5, 2020

Keep Comedy and Carry On

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, trump, coronavirus, riots, george floyd, looting, stand up comedy

We're doing our best to keep laughing these days, although it's entirely possible we're just hysterical. Our society is currently juggling a pandemic, racial strife, looting and rioting, ongoing proof of years of traitorous duplicity from the FBI, DOJ, and Obama administration, and a newly raging debate about how much tear gas is "too much" to use on one's way to church.

And yes, we know it wasn't tear gas - just friendly smoke bombs and mischievous eye-scorching irritants - but shoving all those accurate words into the paragraph above would have broken the comedic flow. And right now, that flow (and the flow of Clan MacGregor) is about all that's keeping us sane.

Well, that and the camaraderie of friends in the comments section (as always, just click on the title of today's cartoon to get there). See you there!

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, donners, donner party, riots, coronavirus


REM1875 said...

"Laughing hysterically between raging bouts of insanity to tears of total frustration and hopelessness .....but other than that fine ...and how about you ???"

Gary said...

I would say. it's time for the adults to take over.But, I dont know who that would be. It appears we are really screwed,this time

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Look at the bright side. At least the price of gasoline for Molotov cocktails is historically low...

Snark said...

And now the "protesters" are screaming for defunding the police. Of course the liberal idiots (sorry for the repetition) agree with them. That way when you have an emergency you just call Dial-A-Thug to take care of it. Turns out that not only is Antifa real, they are well organized and well funded. Gee, thanks, Soros.

Since I now live in the boonies, in a comfortable conservative county, with a moat restricting access, I'll just pop some corn and keep making more ammo. Might come in handy.

Rod said...

Yikes! Clan MacGregor could use another warning label: "Consumption may impair judgement when buying shirts".

Fred Ciampi said...

Time to start shooting looters. Period!!! I too live in the boonies and someone spotted a person who looked like an antifa type (yes, we profile) And right away the police, sheriff, and local militia were notified. Woohoo. I really felt as if some of our folks were actually hoping that antifa would come to town.

Some folks even broke out the Clan MacMoonshine.

TrickyRicky said...

I live in a formerly conservative county, close to a large metro area, certainly within striking distance of the Brownshirts, should they get a hankering. I might not live to tell the story, but the first five or six through the door won't be collecting any more Soros checks or partaking of my Clan McTalisker stash.


Prarie Lion said...

"we're waiving the two drink minimum today..." I waved at it on my way to 4, and that's before noon. It is starting to work.

Sortahwitte said...

The barbarians are inside the gate. Consider your course of action in all things very carefully. It seems that every day the Bill of Rights is more marginalized. I took an oath many years ago, but it was for life. To paraphrase some of the words:

to defend the constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

The domestic enemies are all over the "news" every night and day. Now the new plan is to defund the law enforcement officers and departments and give the money to deify the dead druggie. I guess they really do want a confrontation with conservatives.
Come on down, boys and girls.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of stock prices, have you checked your portfolio this morning? The market is up this morning nearly 4% based upon the amazing (or disappointing if you're a Democrat) jobs report. The America not shown on the evening news or cable TV wants to get back to work. My portfolio is only a couple percent off of where we were late last year.

Truth be told, the reality is that your portfolio probably isn't really as great as it seems as IMHO it's largely due to the trillions of dollars the government printed and projectile vomited in April inflating the price of securities. (Just like they did during the Obama era) Mrs. Econ & I did our monthly "big" grocery shopping day yesterday and noticed an obvious and significant jump in the price of what was in our cart. This was not a surprise: You can't print two-trillion dollars and give it to people to spend at the same time as economic production is diminishing and expect prices to remain static. That IS inflation.

So as good as your portfolio might look, it's important to remember that it won't buy the quantity of goods and services that it would have 6 months ago. And at the end of the day, that is the point of saving money. It's also salient to remember that these economic schemes are done in the name of saving the poor and middle-class, but at the end of the day inflation taxes the poor and middle-class the most. Inflation resulting from printing money is in fact a tax on the poor and middle class.

@Gary, the Democrats think that Joe Biden is the adult. If that doesn't scare you, nothing will.

Gasoline for Molotov cocktails: Have you been following the tale of the two lawyers who were arrested for distributing Molotov cocktails during a riot? They've since been bailed out by Progressive celebrities. My prediction? They'll be teaching in the Ivy League within 5 years. Anyone want to take me up on that bet?

Defunding the Police: Great idea. Try that first in Minneapolis and let us know how that works out. I like it when bad Progressive social and economic experiments take place far away from where I live.

So let's see: Progressives argue that you don't need guns because they police exist to protect you. When the stuff hits the fan, the police are told by their Progressive superiors to stand down and the city burns. Then Progressives argue that we don't really need police anyway.

I can't imagine drinking enough Clan MacGregor that would cause me to become that delusional.

Shoot the looters: Well, the open-carry armed rednecks showed up in downtown of my university town the other day. Pretty sure we won't be seeing any looting. Or shooting for that matter.

Funny that the places where citizens are armed to the teeth aren't seeing any violence.

And some good Wuhan Flu news:

No new coronavirus cases reported in Lake of the Ozarks partiers, health official says

Weren't we told by "the experts" that this would result in a massive new outbreak?

Although I still wouldn't personally attend or recommend such social gatherings, it is a good sign that the virus does not spread very easily in outdoor settings. You can start living your life again, within common sense boundaries.

American Cowboy said...

Saw a photo with this caption: Urooj Rahman prepares to toss a Molotov cocktail out of the passenger-side window of a van just before 1 a.m. Saturday, May 30, outside the 88th Precinct stationhouse.

Knowing what this terrorist, oops I mean "protestor" was going to do before she did it begs the question, "Why didn't anyone do anything to prevent a crime?" In the same situation I believe I would have ordered her to quit, and when she refused. . .shot her!

It would be worth the penalty that the anti-American left would try to throw out to patriotically defend MY country against one of those "all enemies foreign AND DOMESTIC". Not stooping to the left's level, just starving them of useful idiots promoting their agenda.

Anyone who has fought a forest or prairie fire knows that an effective way to stop those fires is a back-fire. A back fire is a fire that is deliberately initiated in front of an active fire front, usually a forest fire, grass fire, or some other type of wildfire. The backfire consumes some of the combustible material and creates a fire belt that the wildfire has difficulty crossing.

American Cowboy said...

@ John the Econ said... Funny that the places where citizens are armed to the teeth aren't seeing any violence.

Agreed. Robert A. Heinlein said, "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."

Not being someone who intentionally looks for trouble I find that to be an accurate statement.

DougM said...

Get yourself the hat, Stilt
You've missed your calling
And by 'missed' I mean 'found'

Rod said...

@John the Econ: Excellent post #3 above. BINGO on all points. Thank you.

Edam Wensleydale said...

I make it a point to go about armed at all times, even if it's only a large folding knife. I do live in an open carry state, but I may look into a CCW, if only for discretion's sake.

Anonymous said...

I asked a few police about that some time ago and their opinion was even though legal in our state, Open Carry can make you a primary target if going to carry. They all conceal a compact second weapon on duty and off. But since my preferred firearm is a long gun of one type or another and there's no legal problems carrying those; I've not gotten into routine handgun carry YET. I practice with them as well. If things get worse or my circumstance change a lot I will reconsider. The thing that bothers me about CCW Training and Registration is just that: Registration if not legally required. And probably where applicable: interstate carry reciprocity laws (or not) would also be a factor for some and no help at all for others.

Edam Wensleydale said...

In an ideal world, Vermont open/concealed carry would be the international standard. However... Well. ^.^

Shelly said...

I will say this about the situation. I believe there is a huge silent majority like myself who are seething with anger over all this. Of course, we are not allowed to express a different opinion than what they demand at the risk of losing employment, etc. We are tired of being portrayed as an enemy just by merely being white. The only place where we cannot be silenced is that private voting booth in November. And we will speak loudly then. Ignore all the polls that say Biden is going to steamroll Trump. They said the exact same thing about Hillary. And she wasn't a doddering old senile fool.

John25mm said...

Open carry, concealed carry as far as I am concerned it is your choice but as pointed out above if you do choose open carry you stand a chance of being the first person someone attacks and if successful just given them a gun. My personal choice is concealed and to paraphrase a noted firearm instructor said "A handgun is there to help you fight your way to your rifle." I recommend that you get a CCP/CWP (however they say it locally) and practice with it on a regular basis. Nothing like having your gun go bonk and trying to figure out how to unscrew it in the middle of a fight. The next thing is to research some of the CWP insurance companies like and USCCA and get a plan that will help you out if you ever have to use you firearm.
Be safe and keep your head on a swivel while out and about. remember even if you are COMPLETELY justified in using your gun you stand a chance of spending a cubic asston of money to stay out of jail. Now don't get me wrong I will gladly spend that if I have to instead of being in a small box underground holding my breath forever but if you can avoid it is a lot easier to deal with.

Pete (Detroit) said...

John25mm, GREAT points! Have had a permit for years, but rarely use it - freaking roads around here, I'd be too inclined to USE it..

Edam - I LOVE 'no permit' carry laws. I also think some kind of check to (help) keep them away from crazies is probably a good idea.

JohnTheE - "Shoot the looters" It's been said that the only reason some people are alive, is because it's illegal to shoot them. When they 'defund' the cops, who will enforce those laws? How many POls and Presstitutes realize they're in that category?
Recent stat - 16M+ ARs in private hands. wanna bet all of 'em have at least one 30 rd mag? That's 480 M cartridges right there, more than one for everybody. And less than half of "everybody" is "on the list"... and that does not even BEGIN to count the REAL rifles (.30-06 will reliably stop in the 12th Nazi, per tests in WWII. I will politely assume they were already dead...) and handguns... "100M guns, Trillions of rounds of ammo, if legal gun owners were the problem you'd know it. "
They will NOT like making us a problem..

Regnad Kcin said...

Here's two words that will resolve the Antifa B.S. : Robo Cop !!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I was originally going to post a picture of Conrad Veidt in "The Man Who Laughs" to show how I was feeling, although Dwight Frye as Renfield in "Dracula" would have worked nicely, too.

@Gary- I agree. Where and who are the "adults" we desperately need? Do they even exist anymore? These are strange days...

@M. Mitchell Marmel- And empty bottles are being recycled!

@Snark- How the heck did "defund the police" become a real enough thing that people are even talking about it?! And I heard some nitwit saying (and not joking) that police could be replaced with "rapid response social workers." As I've said before, these are tough days for parody creators.

@Rod- Think again! You can throw up on that shirt without anyone noticing!

@Fred Ciampi- I'm totally fine with looters being shot on sight. And by "fine" I mean "getting impatient."

@TrickyRicky- Fortunately, I don't think anyone is yet planning to crash through any doors that don't have a store's name over them.

@Prarie Lion- The "five o'clock somewhere" rule has been in place here for a number of weeks.

@Sortahwitte- "Barbarians" is the word, alright. Mind you, the people who are genuinely marching peacefully have a right to do so and, until I hear solid evidence to the contrary, I'll continue to assume that George Floyd's death really did amount to murder. Redressing actual wrongs is a good thing. Looting and pillaging? Lethal force, please.

@John the Econ- I don't much check my portfolio these days because I wisely sold my stocks at the lows then kept my money out of the market. After all, how could stocks go up during a pandemic with record unemployment and riots in the streets. And of course, the market DID go up - like a skyrocket.

But as you know, it's all an illusion. The Fed and government are printing money and buying stocks and bonds to A) give the impression that everything's okay (it's not), and to B) make sure the uber-rich string-pullers don't actually lose any of their wealth.

Frankly, it pained me to hear Trump and others claiming that the artificially inflated stock numbers represented economic recovery. Nothing we hear is real anymore, is it.

@American Cowboy- It seems to me that shooting the lit bottle while it was still inside the van could have had amusing results. I actually saw a pretty good video of one of these pinheads throwing a molotov cocktail by arcing his arm over his head... and flaming gasoline poured all over him. It was a thing of beauty.

@American Cowboy- Can't go wrong quoting Robert Heinlein.

@DougM- I did some stand-up a LONG time ago. And part of me would still like to. But live comedy is a young man's game...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Edam Wensleydale- I've got a good knife that I've been meaning to carry. Maybe this is the time.

@Anonymous- Good points.

@Shelly- I think a lot of us are getting pretty tired of being portrayed as society's villains, or accused of racism because of the color of our skin. Black lives indeed matter - more to conservatives than liberals, in fact. But I won't apologize for believing that ALL lives matter. I think Dr. King would back me up on this point.

@John25mm- Good advice throughout!

@Pete(Detroit)- Yup.

@Regnad Kcin- What a beautiful thought that is! True trivia note: the original RoboCop movie was shot at Dallas City Hall at the same time Mrs. J was employed there, and I once dined at an outdoor bistro in Dallas with a friend while Peter Weller sat at the table nearby. I resisted the urge to go fanboy on him, though it wasn't easy.

MAX Redline said...

>Open carry, concealed carry as far as I am concerned it is your choice but as pointed out above if you do choose open carry you stand a chance of being the first person someone attacks and if successful just given them a gun. My personal choice is concealed and to paraphrase a noted firearm instructor said "A handgun is there to help you fight your way to your rifle.<

I prefer CC for the very reasons you mentioned. Great post!

JustaJeepGuy said...

Here's something to think about: if someone gets in your face about black lives mattering, ask them "Do ALL black lives matter?" Because of course, in say, Chicago or Baltimore or most cities, NOT ALL black lives matter. And at Planned Parenthood, NOT ALL black lives matter. Don't let them have the "All lives matter" cudgel to use against you, make them spell out which black lives matter. Maybe they'll then shut up and go away to think about things.

Probably not, but it's possible.....

Mickey said...

Clan MacGregor has a much more useful cousin Clan MacSigSauer

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Er, Stilton, what happened to Monday's strip? Got the blurb, but...?

Anonymous said...

Rapid response social workers? Sounds like a Saturday Night Live episode.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

"Unarmed, rapid-response Social workers?" Hate to disappoint the Socialist snowflakes, but I will provide my OWN reponse, and it won't be what they expect. All I have to do is complete some reloading for my M-4 in .308 caliber, AR15 in .223, and Remington 870 tactical shotgun, then cut down some bushes on the property for optimum field of fire. My wife says that I spend too much time in my reloading room, but what is most important: reloading, removing offending landscaping, or making love? Stilton should have the answer.....

JustaJeepGuy said...

Let's build a wall around Minneapolis. Let nobody out until the city council finally learns exactly what they've just wrought. Any bets on how long it takes?

Alfonso Bedoya said...

"@DougM- I did some stand-up a LONG time ago. And part of me would still like to. But live comedy is a young man's game..."

I dunno, Stilton; Joe Biden made a good living at it for several decades....and still does.

Sparky malarky said...

Nancy pelvis and Kampala Harris should be on the first social response team when the first domestic disturbance call or armed robbery in progress call comes in after they have defended the poice. SEND IN THE CLOWNS. Maybe comrade DeBlasio could join them.