If it were possible to hire a hit man to kidnap the year 2020, drag it out into a field, torture it, kill it, and leave it in a shallow grave, we would happily hand over the cash today. Unfortunately, only Father Time can put the scythe to 2020, and that bastard moves so slowly he might as well work at the post office.
The latest indignity is that Alex Trebek has died from pancreatic cancer, after surviving much longer than most people with the condition. And the cartoon above is in no way "joking" about Trebek's death, because we loved that guy and his show was one of our favorite (and few) escapes from the stresses of the world. No, in the cartoon the joke is on us, because we just want to enjoy a few nice things and have some small elements of our world remain "normal," but 2020 continues to treat us like the new guy in the prison shower.
Mind you, even before learning of Mr. Trebek's passing, we were in a dark and stormy mood. Joe Biden was declared winner of the presidential election by the media (and only the media), but we're not buying it. Now or ever. First because there are ample reasons to believe that Trump can still win this, even though the media would have you believe otherwise. The second reason we'll never accept Biden as president is that vote fraud certainly appears to have been the deciding factor in the race so far. Yes, proof is needed...though, knowing that, the Dems have already been shredding ballots and envelopes which would have been essential in an investigation. But even if we put all of that aside, the third reason that Biden will never be our personal president is that this election was fixed in a far broader and more evil way than simple vote fraud.
Specifically, a huge number of people went to the polls to vote against an orange-faced monster who was a racist, an anti-semite, a misogynist, a Russian spy, a child torturer, and - thanks to a virus sent our way by Joe Biden's Chinese pals - a mass murderer. Trump had his significant faults, but that "monster" was a wholly fictitious media creation. We'd guess that the majority of people who thought they were voting against Trump were really voting against the Boogeyman, after having that message beaten into their heads for four years. While, for good measure, that same media buried reports of the very real gains Trump had made for Americans of every race, sexual orientation, ethnic background, or social class. And you can't fix an election more than that; when an ideologically perverse media controls the information, Democracy becomes a joke.
And speaking of jokes, here's a couple of efforts we made in the immediate wake of the announcement that the Dems had faked enough votes to likely put Biden in office:
Some other "Babylon Bee" type headlines we wrote (but which don't fit in our headline app):
• Biden Funeral Scheduled For Same Week As Inauguration Since Everyone Will Be In Town Anyway.
See, Dems, here's the deal: you can't call me a racist, a misogynist, a hatemonger, a fool, a Russian tool, and a fascist for four years and then suddenly expect me to kiss up to you just because your intolerant, anti-American boot is on my throat.