Monday, November 23, 2020

Unjust Desserts

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, dessert, election, biden, trump, fixed, apple pie, poop, media

If you're finding the election results very hard to swallow, there's a good reason why. And to us, it's also an obvious reason, though our liberal friends who natter "there's no evidence of widespread voter fraud" are blind to it. Which is why we'd like them to conduct the following little thought experiment.

On National Choose Your Dessert Day, you're presented with two sealed boxes. One is marked "Apple Pie" and the other is marked "Dog Poop." You have to pick one and eat the contents, but the choice is entirely up to you. Those who are administering the procedure won't attempt to influence you in any way when you're making your choice, and you've been clearly and repeatedly assured that the boxes are labeled with complete accuracy. Once your choice is made, no one but you will open the box, ensuring you get exactly what you chose.

So which box do you pick, knowing you'll have to chow down on the contents?

Probably the box that says "apple pie," right? Which is a shame, because now you have to eat a large, steaming pile of dog poop. The delicious fresh-baked apple pie with streusel crumbles and a solid gold fork (also yours to keep) was in the other box. Because the labels on the boxes were lies and the people who assured you they were accurate were liars.

The selection process was fair and not rigged in any way and no amount of investigation will show otherwise. Don't like the outcome? Go ahead and take your case to the Supreme Court. They'll not only rule that the process was fair, but Chief Justice John Roberts will also give you a hefty "contempt of court" fine because your breath smells like dog ass.

But while the process was fair, the selection itself was "fixed" before you ever made your choice and got that "I Had Dessert" sticker applied to your vomit-streaked shirt.

And this, of course, is how the presidential election was "fixed" without the need for faked ballots, nefarious computer algorithms, or a big turnout by The Voting Dead. For four years, people were repeatedly lied to and told that President Trump was inside a box falsely marked "racist, sexist, lunatic, fascist, Russian agent" while the other box was labeled "Honest Joe Biden with Delicious Streusel Crumbles." A label you could only read after brushing away a cloud of buzzing flies. 

People were free to choose...they just weren't free to know what they were really choosing.

Which raises three important questions: how soon should "unity and healing" begin after a fixed election, how long should we keep letting a cabal of liars get away with distorting our choices, and when in the living hell will Democrats realize that their own mouths aren't full of apple pie?


Just to be clear, as the Invisible Man used to say, today's post is not intended to say that there wasn't a wide and rich variety of voting fraud. We think there was and, whether or not it was enough to tip the election, there needs to be a rigorous investigation followed by prosecutions and appropriate wall-and-blindfold-based punishment.

Our point is that even if that happens and even if no direct fraud is shown to have taken place (fat chance), it wouldn't change our opinion that the election was "fixed" by four years of false information beaten into the American electorate. Which is why we'll never, never accept this election or its results as legitimate.


Pat Cummings said...

In keeping with Thanksgiving Week, you conclude your post with an old turkey...

Amd I think I'll pass on the dessert entirely. I'm trying to bring down my weight! (And I was never that fond of mis-labeled dog poop anyway.

Note: I #GiveThanks three times every week when I open Stilton's Place for a dose of rational humor and qualty cartoons.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Jeeze, Al looks even more like the sleazy used car salesman he is...

As for coprophagic confectionery, I refer you to the late Utah Phillips:

As for your question about realization: They already know. They just follow the punchline of Mr. Phillips' story. :P

Jess said...

We plan on a large gathering, with the typical feast. After dinner, most are leaving to go hunting....deer, of course.

Pete (Detroit) said...

When the revolution starts, I'm fine w/ taking out the Lame Stream Media first.
Just sayin'

Fred Ciampi said...

And for the next four years we all may have to live with the results of packed ballots, illegal votes, and lies, lies, lies. Of course there's still hope of the truth coming out (ha ha) or an armed revolution. Sigh, I'll just hunker down in my mountain hideaway and wait.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Though your characterization of how the choices in this election were advertised is spot on, your assertion that that was how this election was stolen is not. There is convincing evidence of widespread manipulation of the vote, bit through statistical analysis of the returns and in affidavits filed by those involved altruists who actually thought they were supposed to really be monitoring the counting... That the left suddenly believes elections to be "tamper proof" after four years of listening to how vulnerable the system is to foreign tampering and media and big tech working so strenuously to silence the issue cements it.

Rastapopoulos said...

You "Gored" me with your second carton today! But no homophone about the Nobamas? Sort of half way there..

On your main topic, unless our election process is sharply reformed to restore confidence in a person's vote being counted correctly, not later diluted by algorithms/deceased-votes/and other mischief, our future elections are stillborn.

Actually all future elections are aborted right here and now. Your participation is hereby optional, irrelevant and unnecessary as we all become "Kabuki-Voters."

I've let my congress-critters know that unless they step-up and demand a full accounting - the actions of representing me as their constituent by following their oath of office to defend the Constitution - that there will be no more political donations or votes I would send their way.

I've been harsh giving them the choice of doing their job or becoming forever "dead to me."

As the multiple levels of fraud are so pervasive that truly it may not completely be in our best interests to jail or hang all the perps, I am all for an amnesty program.

That amnesty program would work along these sort of lines: If you come forward and reveal what election crimes you were involved with with enough detail to help unravel the damage and a clear identification of those who put you up to it, you get a fine which will help pay for all this mess and can enter into an agreement to not vote at any level, not seek election/reelection to any political office and not participate in any level of any election in any capacity or by employment for 15 years. You will not be labeled a felon unless you mess up or are found to have held back evidence, in which case you will become a felon.

If you don't come forward requesting amnesty the full weight of the law will be brought to weigh upon you, with particular focus on the sedition and treason aspects. Let them dangle who do not repent now.

Rod said...

And Al seems to be getting pretty chunky, saving all that energy. Funny joke; both the 'toon and him.

PA Ray said...

Speaking of royalties, Twin Peaks stole your Lefty Lucy, who is now the sheriffs secretary.

Susan Fineman said...

There are not enough synonyms for genius. Just know that I look forward to your posts!
"Glad you're on OUR side"...signed...intelligent and INFORMED Americans.

SpectreRider said...

Exactly. The mislabeling was necessary to make it close enough to steal. Even so, there was an overnight stoppage of the count in order to add an extra layer of theft when it was realized the pre-planned operation wasn't large enough to overcome the landslide.

Murphy(AZ) said...

^Pete (Detroit):
Nothing says "warm feeling deep inside" like hearing the news that Open Season has been declared on Talking Heads and Street News Gatherers. Not that I would EVER suggest that harming any of these hard working "journalists," doing so might muss up their hair, and they worked so hard to get it "just right."

brunnegd said...

Widespread fraud was not needed, only fraud in a few key places. The LSM claiming no "widespread" is deliberately misleading. Between rigged machines and non-tracable mail-ins, the stage was set.

TrickyRicky said...

This was a great day on Stilton's Place. Your premise is absolutely correct. The unabated demonization of our president for the past 4-5 years has been so beyond the pale that it is hard to digest, pun intended. As noted by several commenters above, the so-called media is our most vile and dangerous enemy. I include Fox News in that cabal. Aside for a few minutes in the morning with Maria or Varney to check the markets, Fox and Fox Business will never again sully our home.

John the Econ said...

What gets me is that the very same people who for the last 4 years have been screaming that the 2016 election was either fixed or bought and paid for by the Russians today say that the exact same process this time around was all on the up-and-up. So now is the "time for healing" and to move on.

In other words, "We win! Shut up, losers!".

Of course, there were a few differences this time around. For one, the mainstream and social media literally pulled the plug on any negative news about Biden and made sure that you couldn't re-tweet any of it, but hey, that's quibbling, right?

And just saw a story about how all the world leaders except Putin have congratulated President-elect Biden. It's a shame that of all these people, only Putin appears to be aware of how our process actually works.

For the most part, I agree with @Stilton above, with a couple of additions. For one, considering what Trump was up against, (98% of the mainstream media, social media owners, academia, corporate America, and of course the government itself) it really is amazing that Trump did as well as he did. And of course, a large degree of credit has to do with the Chinese. In January of 2020 with the economy chugging along better than it had for almost all of the last 20 years, Trump was aligned for a 1984-class landslide re-election. The Wuhan Flu put an end to that. And of course, then there was the engineered "social unrest" of last summer which caught Trump totally off-guard.

But finally, there was Trump himself. The left finally figured out how to use his lack of a filter and ego against himself, and he played right into it. If he had just shut up for the last 6 months and stopped providing ammunition for the Democrats, he still might have won.

As Mark Steyn pointed out 4 years ago, in order for any non-Progressive to carry any election from now on, they not only need to win, but they need to win beyond the margin of lawyer. I am beginning to wonder if even that will be possible anymore.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of Al Gore, looks like Biden just snubbed him:

Biden Names John Kerry Special Presidential Envoy for Climate

Kerry, a former Massachusetts senator and 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, will sit on the National Security Council. This will be the first time the National Security Council will include an official dedicated to climate change, which the Biden administration said reflects their commitment to addressing climate change as an urgent national security issue.

As Americans continue to suffer due to the Wuhan Flu, they'll love endless lectures from Kerry about how the real threat to their well being isn't a global pandemic, but an existential crisis the exists exclusively in computer models that nobody is allowed to peer review and have have had a 100% failure rate in predicting anything resembling reality, and how they'll have to accept higher taxes and a lower standard of living to deal with it.

Colby Muenster said...

Great posts here today, and agreed that the LSM's 4 year long barrage on Trump seems to have had the desired effect. Still, I am convinced there was some major league cheating going on in places like Philadelphia and Atlanta. Trump got an outlandish amount of votes and still lost? But, I am also not naïve enough to believe any of this will get exposed, much less reversed. The owner of that voting software company said it was impossible for votes to get reversed. I call bullshit. If software and computers are involved, "errors" are nearly guaranteed, and hacking is a given.

Our slim hopes now lie on the Georgia Senate races, and does anybody believe those are going to happen without the same interference from the left? The Hollywoodish types are already in full cheat mode, and the Georgia gubmint seems OK with that.

Advice that y'all don't really need: STOCK UP ON EVERYTHING! Especially copper jackets if you can find 'em. Also get ready for Biden to take full effing credit for defeating the Wuhan.

Anonymous said...

News from Down Under:
(I swear I am not making this up!)

Doctors in Australia have determined that flatulence can spread Covid 19.

They say that wearing pants, just like masks, can cut down on the spread of the virus but not completely eliminate it, and recommend that people should refrain from passing gas in close proximity to other people. (Social distancing is still recommended.)

(I think that's always a good idea with or without a virus and I, for one, appreciate the scientific community attaching their credence to the recommendation. I definitely will not start putting a mandated cork in it if the CDC—and Biden—gets wind (pun intended) of the Australian study.)


DavidW said...

I had an annoying friend text me about the election. She voted for Biden because she hated Trump. She knew nothing about Biden, his past, his policies or lack thereof, his corruption, etc. She just hated Trump. Where did she get it? From the media of course.

boron said...

What I can't believe is that nobody said anything in 2008 when Al Franken was "elected" over/in place of/in lieu of Norm Coleman.
"Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat its mistakes."
George Santayana

IGnatius T Foobar said...

Democrat voters will continue to believe what the mainstream media programs them to believe: that even when democrats hold power, any pain the people are experiencing is still the fault of conservatives somewhere.

This is why we must focus on flipping institutions, not states. Focusing on elections, even when we are successful, only delays the death of the republic. To truly save it we must "red pill" everyone.

JustaJeepGuy said...

In an honest election, Gropey Joe & the Ho couldn't possibly have beaten President Trump. Too bad the Demo_Rats spent the last 4 years preparing a totally DIShonest election.

Lee The Voice said...

On the bright side, Stilt, the next four years will assure your blog of endless possibilities. Kinda makes the dim future brighter, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

I'd be willing to bet there will be (un)healthy restrictions on online blogs very soon. One cannot say anything bad about the ruling party.

REM1875 said...

Und sie vill like it ...........and das ist an order !!!

Anonymous said...

Four more years of Hiden/Kameltoe memes is going to be bloody exhausting.

Brie Camembert said...

Welcome to The People's Democratic Republic of America!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Once again, you're all way ahead of me with the comments. All good and thought-provoking. As I write this on Tuesday evening, Trump is still fighting legal battles but various states have certified their vote tallies, and Trump is allowing an "orderly transition" to a Biden administration to begin.

Frankly, I lack the mental energy to address all of that here and now, but it sounds like there will be plenty of time to do so in the future. Damn it.

B.C. said...

Nothing is settled yet, even if the states "certify" their elections. It just means those people "certifying" that everything was "by the book" (There's that pesky saying again) will have "certified" their participation in the greatest election fraud in history. Once the Trump legal team pulls out all of the evidence and lays it on the table in front of the SCOTUS, proving beyond ANY doubt that the election result was fraudulent, every "certifying official" will be guilty of election fraud.

When the assholes start heading to countries without extraction treaties with the US, it'll be time to start building the gallows and putting out APB's and BOLO's for them. I'll bring the rope. (Hemp, of course. We want to be environmentally-friendly, after all.)

B.C. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
George Turner said...

Unity and healing will begin when we approach the family members of the Cabal members and apologize for, well, doing the rope tree thing with one of their loved ones.

B.C. said...

*extradition treaties. (Damned autocorrect!)

JustaJeepGuy said...

@B.C., I don't know how many countries don't have extradition treaties with the US. The only one I'm fairly sure of is Bahrain. I wouldn't lose any sleep over the traitors all fleeing to Bahrain. It's a tiny place and the weather is HOT. The traitors need to be ready for their eternal home anyway.