Friday, February 5, 2021

Brain Cleaner

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Even the New York Times ("Catching Birdcage Droppings Since 1851") concedes that our nation is currently plagued by fake news. You know, nonsense like "there were election irregularities," or "Antifa and BLM caused billions of dollars of damage last summer," or "Hunter Biden's laptop contained a metric assload of incriminating evidence against his father, not to mention numerous pictures of drug use and kinky-to-the-point-of-illegality sexual hijinks." 

Indeed, it was the NY Times which helpfully pointed out that the alleged "laptop" was just a figment of Russian imagination, and that there is no such person as Hunter Biden and hey look over there, an insurrectionist squirrel!

But while many people complain about fake news, only the NY Times has the chutzpah to demand a remedy for this scourge. And their remedy is this: "The Biden administration (needs) to put together a cross-agency task force to tackle disinformation and domestic extremism, which would be led by something like a "reality czar."

Theoretically, this Reality Czar could look at conflicting "news" stories and decide which should be allowed to circulate, and which should have their authors shot. For instance, AOC has breathlessly told and retold the story of how she was nearly killed by a screaming mob of Ted Cruz-directed murderers during the Great Washington Trump-Inspired Insurrection of 2021, while more conservative (and thus less trustworthy) news outlets are reporting that she wasn't even in the damn building.

This is where a Reality Czar could step in and make sure that no one ever hears anything that makes progressives look bad, no matter how well documented. There would be no more confusion about what news is or isn't true because, by government mandate, anything you're allowed to hear would be "true."

Or at least true enough to be useful to the powers-that-be.

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To quote Alice, "Eat Me."

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Now we know how justice went blind
Stilton, here! Barring any bigger than usual disasters in the news (what are the odds?), I'll be taking next week off to rest, recuperate, and catch up on car repairs, dryer vent cleaning, Covid vaccinations, veterinary visits, doctor visits, carpal tunnel recuperation, berating the damn cable company for removing TCM from my channel list, taking down the last of the Christmas lights, practicing meditation without screaming, spelunking in the dark and forbidding "closet of things that never get used anymore" to find Goodwill donations, changing out a dripping bidet (AKA "The Ass Blaster"), and several dozen other chores which have gone ignored since the tragic events of last Election Day.

Mostly, somewhat related to the "reality czar" story above, I want to take a few days to reassess just what the hell reality even is anymore, and reflect on how I can best interact with this strange new world while also keeping my liver and a tiny bit of sanity intact.

Odds are I'll post some little something just to keep the comments section open for you, but other than that, I'll be on a short staycation!


JustaJeepGuy said...

I've never wanted to use a bidet, but if I did, I think I'd want one called "The Ass Blaster". I'm thinking it would DEFINITELY get the job done!

Pat Cummings said...

You could do well with a trio of Busty Ross photos instead of typing, Stilt! We could ALL do with a little relief from the dire and dismal reality...

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Reality Czar. What a concept.

-after the late Robin Williams

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your breather. There will be plenty to hear from AOC and company when you come back.

Mike aka Proof said...

Have fun with your honey do list, Stilt. We'll all be here when you get back!

FlyBoy said...

While we’re at it, how about I creating a “History Bureau” to accurately record and re-write the “facts” of what has already happened. Oh, wait...the lame stream media already does that.

I don’t think even George Orwell foresaw what this nation is morphing into, but he came damn close!

I read somewhere recently that “1984” is on the top ten best seller list, how appropriate.

BTW, it’s a work of fiction, NOT an instruction manual!

SpectreRider said...

1984 was a warning.
An unheeded one.

Feargal the Cat said...

It's no surprise that a recently departed editor of the NYT, Mark Thompson, could walk straight into the job from his previous tenure as Director General of the bBC.

The phrase, two cheeks of the same arse has never been so accurate.

Bobo the Hobo said...

I don’t know if they still do but the Air Force used to have something called “Rumor Control”; an office where you could clarify rumors heard on base. Sounds like this administration could use it instead of a ”Reality Czar”. And by the way, why Are the Dems so fond of the term “Czar”? Sounds like they’re tipping their Russian Collusion hand. Maybe the progs should just save time and rename the NYT Pravda on the Hudson.

Enjoy your time away from the computer, Stilt!

Fish Out of Water said...

@Pat Cummings and Stilton: what would be more entertaining would a series of posts with Busty and Lucy in debate.

Jim Irre said...

Yeah, but could Lucy last for three episodes? I doubt it!

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Stilt, when you find out what "reality" is (other than smoke from your Toyota engine bay), please let us know. After having been tortured with suspicion that I may be arrested any moment by a government goon squad for being labeled a "domestic terrorist," any good news that has nothing to do with the insanity that I see and hear on a daily basis would be welcome.

Kathy Hobbs, the Arizona Secretary of State, has labeled me a "neo-Nazi" merely for having supported Donald Trump. THAT is reality! Oooops.....gotta go; I hear a pounding at the front door and cars with flashing red and blue lights in the driveway.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy the staycation, everybody needs to turn off and recharge every now and again. Be sure to go outside and enjoy the night sky if you have a view - always makes me feel a little better.

American Cowboy said...

A "reality" czar?

Joseph Goebbels would be so proud if he were alive!

Fish Out of Water said...

As all most likely have read freshman rep. Ms Greene was stripped last night of her committee assignments.

Believe her statements were in head shaking bad taste and judgment and some sort of action was called for .

Now as turnabout is fair play, let's see how fast the House moves to strip committee assignments from AOC,Maxine Waters, ilhan omar, Ayanna Pressley, et. al. as well.

Jack said...

I would appreciate your using the term, "Left-Wing Extremists," frequently. Until you use the expression, you will not understand how effective it is in calling Democrat leaders out.

If we can bring the term into common parlance, we will teach. "Radical," does not work.

Fish Out of Water said...

@Jack: I prefer the term neo-fascist, which I believe is more descriptive. Though the WSJ 'moderators' seem to have an issue with that in their comments section.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I thought 1984 came and went 36 years ago, yet here we are...

Fish Out of Water said...

@Jim Irre: Yeah, Lucy would probably roll out the prog buzz words, racist, fascist or above my thinking level charges.

TrickyRicky said...

I'll bet you find some interesting Jarlsberg memorabilia in that closet. Should offset the drudgery of the task. Think of it as a large junk drawer.

rickn8or said...

So we're to have a "Reality Czar"? Is he/she/(more likely,)"it" going to organize and manage The Ministry of Truth?

KanB said...

I’ve never seen an actual video of her saying what she is reported to have said. Only just what THEY are reporting her to have said. In contrast I have watched Trump speak and then been disgusted by what THEY tell their audience that he is saying.

John the Econ said...

Ministry of Truth: Seriously, did not any of these supposedly smart, literate and theoretically well-educated Progressives ever read any dystopian literature when they were in school? Or did they mistake 1984 as a script for creating a Utopia?

Or, for a single second could they not imagine a scenario where an established Ministry of Truth be taken over by an administration that did not see the world through their irony-free colored glasses, say, like the next Trump-like Administration that would replace any Reality Czar with one of their own? Or is the assumption that once they get this locked in place, there will never again be another Trump-like Administration? (I'm guessing the latter)

Of course, if we were to have a Reality Czar, it's hard to imagine just how different our current mainstream media would be than it has been for the last decade and a half. (For example, has the New York Times still not yet mentioned Eric Swalwell's being compromised by a Chinese honeypot and yet gets to retain his position on the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence?) My guess is that its focus would be more on deplatforming the fringe holdouts than anything else.

So while we'd get wall-to-wall coverage about how nutty GOP rep Marjorie Taylor Greene has to go, we'll never now about the virtual cavalcade of insane, corrupt, hateful, violent, or just plan stupid that the Democrats are completely comfortable caucusing with.

I already see the first candidate for the job, CNN's Jeff Zucker who just announced that he'll be leaving by the end of the year. Good timing for him, having completely destroyed CNN by making it literally unwatchable by devolving it into an anti-Fox alternative to MSNBC. Now that Trump has been deplatformed and they no longer have him available to hate on 24/7, ratings are already tanking. So maybe AT&T can bring in some former Home Shopping Network execs to reform CNN into something more watchable and profitable.

Weeking Off: @Stilton, enjoy your week off. And perhaps even get used to it should we actually get a Reality Czar. Although judging from your to-do list, I suspect that cartooning and hanging out with us here is more time-off-like than what you'll be dealing with.

One of the things I really do miss from when we dumped cable is TCM.

And finally, here's some reality: Just caught a bit of a news story where Biden supposedly said "...full employment 10 years away."

Just like it was at the beginning of the Obama era. Make America 2009 Again!

Bill from Wood-Ridge said...

I'd like to nominate a man named Donald Trump as Reality Czar. He apparently had a show that was part of what's known as reality TV, and he was supposedly quite good at it. I understand he's available. I've also heard that many people who enjoyed his show turned on him when he took his most recent job.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

From Econ: "Or is the assumption that once they get this locked in place, there will never again be another Trump-like Administration? (I'm guessing the latter)."
One-party rule has been the long game all along. They thought they had it nailed down in '16 and were furious when against all expectations, Trump happened. After they've destroyed Western Civilization there will be less wealth, but they'll be in position to steal all of it.
Also, what I don't get about bidets is how you get dry after using.

Confusingly Clear said...

Back when people who would be applauding the voices at the old gray whore, the two "competing" news rags in the old Soviet Union were called "Izvestia" (The News) and "Pravda" (The Truth".
Those who were "blessed" with the freedom from thought in that paradise had a little saying about the two official newspapers. "In Izvestia there is no Pravda; in Pravda there is no Izvestia" Ahhh, Walter Duranty would be so proud of his former employers.

Colby Muenster said...

After reading your "to do" list, I sure hope you can get it all done in a week! We might suffer horrible withdrawal symptoms if it goes beyond that.

Reality Czar? Makes me wonder if AOC will oppose this because "The federal government really shouldn't be interfering with property sales."

Speaking of her, I watched her rant about being scared out of her wits and locking herself in the bathroom. All I could think of was what a self centered little drama queen she is. It was sure funny when congresswoman Nancy Mace completely destroyed Occasional-Cortex's story.

Concerning all the wild crap the Dims are doing now that Walter is Prez, my hope is the normally chicken Republicans are taking notes. If they ever get back in power, the Dims have set the precedent. Impeach Biden, Carter, Clinton and Obama. Kick AOC, Pelosi, and Tlaib off whatever committees they are on, and appoint their OWN "reality czar." Like maybe the guy Bill from Wood-Ridge mentions above.

Y'all have a great weekend, and if you watch the Stupor Bowl, make sure you switch channels during halftime. I have no doubt in my mind it will NOT be family friendly.

JohnF said...

Speaking of Busty, do you use multiple models for her? Some have a 50's look (like Wednesday's) and some are much more current (like 11/18/20). And i second the replay of various prior artworks; haven't seen any Tan O'clock News in a while! For those they don't even have to be current. But your to do list is worse than mine and we'll be OK for brief periods...

Shelly said...

@Velveeta - The bidets have dryers built in. They also have different types of sprays. One is targeted for you know what and has a stronger force. The others just lovely little rains on your bottom.

Got my first Covid shot today, finally. That's two hours I'll never get back but happy it's behind me. Three weeks until the second but now I know better where to go to line up. I really want to ditch the masks but I'm told getting the vaccination makes absolutely no difference in what we are being ordered to do. But at least I feel a little better about not getting it.

Have a nice break, Stilt.

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Shelly: I can sleep at nights now that that's been cleared up.

Sortahwitte said...

Did those bastards really drop TCM? Heavens to murgatroyd.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- The manufacturer doesn't call it an "Ass Blaster," but I think they could sell to a lot more guys if they did.

@Pat Cummings- That's not a bad idea.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- The whole "reality czar" thing pushes this to the level of slack-jawed disbelief/panic. What the HELL is going on?!

@jack- The least of my worries right now is having material to make fun of. Talk about an abundant resource!

@Mike aka Proof- I'll shoot up a flare of some kind next week, but I really need to focus on some chores around here - one of which is just trying to clear my head!

@FlyBoy- At this point, I'm actually hoping that my archived PDFs of Hope n' Change and Stilton's Place can serve as historical records. Heaven help us all.

@SpectreRider- There is nothing in "1984" which doesn't seem possible now.

@Feargal the Cat- Yep. All of those media outlets are just identical slices of Wonder Bread at this point.

@Bobo the Hobo- Even if there IS a "reality czar" appointed, they'll probably call it something tame like "rumor control." And yeah, what the hell is it with Democrats and czars?

@Fish Out of Water- I actually like the idea of letting the ladies butt heads more frequently. But I would never, ever demean them by calling it a political cat fight.

@Jim Irre- The clueless have remarkable resilience.

@Alfonso Bedoya- Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd be called a racist, misogynist, neo-Nazi extremist bastard at this point, although I see myself as a friendly, lovable old American who just wants what's best for people of all kinds. And frankly it scares me that it increasingly sounds like the government is going to come after marshmallow people like me. Like Covid, it's a nightmare there's no waking up from.

@Anonymous- That's excellent advice! I'm going to be trying to get in better touch with the non-electronic world.

@American Cowboy- You're absolutely right.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Fish Out of Water- I'm in complete agreement. Greene has said some asinine things, but the Dems should keep hands off. If not, then the Republicans should go after Dems who have said horrible things...and that's damn near all of them.

@Jack- I'll try to use "Left-Wing Extremists" more, but I'm not sure it really has traction anymore. Maybe "Left-Wing Fascists?"

@Fish Out of Water- There you go!

@Emmentaler Limburger- We thought we'd dodged a bullet, but it turned out to be a boomerang.

@Fish Out of Water- Oh, Lucy is well versed in all of the progressive mumbo-jumbo. God knows that there's plenty of unused space in her brain to store that stuff...

@TrickyRicky- Oh, there are some treasures hiding in that closet for sure! But the funny thing about treasures is that you can't appreciate them when they're buried in crap. Ergo, it's tidying time!

@rickn8or- I don't see how else it could work.

@KanB- Good point. On Fox News' "The Five" a couple of days ago, Donna Brazile - that insufferable political whore - again claimed that Trump told people to drink bleach. Greg Gutfeld jumped on it, called it a lie, said he wouldn't put up with it, and told her to produce a clip of Trump saying that.

@John the Econ- I don't think the progressive left is offended by the system shown in "1984" as long as the (ahem) right people are in charge of it. And I agree that a "Reality Czar" wouldn't have much impact on the mainstream media, but I worry about the criminalization of those of us with alternate views.

@Bill from Wood-Ridge- Great thinking!

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- I agree that "one party rule" is the Dems' end game, and damned if they aren't making real progress on it. As far as bidets go, you dry your derriere with a few dabs of toilet tissue. WAY less than I used previously.

@Confusingly Clear- Great anecdote about the Russian newspapers. A lot of truth (real truth) there...

@Colby Muenster- I don't expect to get everything done in a week. I just want to get enough of it done that I no longer feel on the verge of a panic attack! Regarding AOC's "near death" sob story, it's just another reason why I can't stand her.

It's a nice fantasy that the GOP, should it ever get in power again (which I don't see happening), would treat the Left as badly as we're being treated now - but it will never happen. Damn it.

And no, I won't be watching the Super Bowl. Between the kneeling, bad mouthing America, and now different national anthems for different races, you couldn't pay me to watch that crap. Pro football is dead to me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JohnF- As the saying goes, "there can be only one" - and that's especially true when it comes to Busty Ross, although her look can vary depending on whether she's going the retro route or wearing something more contemporary. She's capable of many looks, and she wears all of them well!

As for "Tan O'Clock News," it might be nice to bring that feature back more often. I think it's important to get the female points of view.

@Shelly- Wow, you're describing a FANCY bidet, with varying sprays and a dryer. Mine is basically a single jet of cold water (ICE cold in the winter) with a single pressure control dial, ranging from "drinking fountain" to "sandblaster."

I, too, got my first Covid shot today and here in North Texas they're doing a great job of making the process convenient. From the time I left home to the time I got back, vaccinated, was only 45 minutes - and that was including the "wait around 15 minutes to see if you go into anaphylactic shock" period. And no, we can't ditch the masks after being vaccinated, but the shot(s) may make a world of difference in how much damage the virus can do to us (including longterm).

@Velveeta Processed Cheese Food- If you're willing to lay out the money, you can also make sure the stream of water heading into ground zero is nicely warmed. Mine is just cold water, and let me tell you - in the morning it's a better eye-opener than coffee!

@Sortahwitte- The bastards DID pull TCM from the package I've had forever, and added it to a tier that would cost $15/month more. Now that reality is flying apart, I really want the comfort of old movies (with old values). Seriously, the TCM thing has me all bent out of shape.

Anonymous said...

Stay healthy and do all that needs to be done, but I'd pass on the shot.
See (Read?)you next week.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Stilt, you said:

Mine is basically a single jet of cold water (ICE cold in the winter) with a single pressure control dial, ranging from "drinking fountain" to "sandblaster."

Rather than "sandblaster", perhaps "power washer" might be the more appropriate comparison.

Pat Cummings said...

@Stilt: Please don't refer to an icy-cold blast from the bidet as an 'eye-opener'! (Shuddering at the visual...)

Velveeta Processed Cheese Food said...

@Stilt: I didn't realize they were that targeted. I figured they hosed down cheeks and all. But then I started out life at home and school without indoor plumbing, so what do I know?

You Ain't Dead said...

We need a comic with 6 year old AOC screeming about the monsters under her bed.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Dead: With Gropin' Joe under the bed whining, "I just wanna sniff your hair!" ;D

igor said...

@MMM and @Dead:
It should be under Cameltoe's bed. ;P

mamafrog said...

Plumbing will always give you a reality check, lol. So will dark closets, getting ready to do mine, again, to clean out and organize (my mantra for the last three years, unfortunately).

Rod said...

I know about a wide range of toilets, latrines, outhouses, etc. down to just holes in the ground or floor; either indoors or wide open spaces. Similarly very nice to pretty rustic tubs, showers, steam rooms or tents, banas; lakes & rivers, hot springs, & fresh-water hose showers on the dive deck which work best with a buddy, taking turns. But bidets? Not so much.
I wonder if the action is variable? I suppose now one could even get a fancy fountain with electronic controls you could talk to?