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Friday, July 2, 2021

Wham On Wry

stilton’s place, stilton, political, humor, conservative, cartoons, jokes, hope n’ change, high striker, bell, time off
To better explain why I'm taking some time off from politics, I wanted to create a graphic which would illustrate my current mindset. And I couldn't think of any better metaphor than a carnival "high striker" game in which a heavy mallet blow sends a weight soaring upwards, the goal being to ring the bell at the top. Now imagine that the game is my level of anger about the news. I'd reached a point (and I'm still there) in which every news item rang my bell every freaking time.

Cackling Kamala Harris going to a border (but not the problematic border) to address illegal immigration without ever mentioning border security? BANG - shwoop! - CLANG!

News that Ivermectin, when properly administered, reduces Covid deaths by 62% and transmission by 86% - but there's still nobody talking about it (and the millions who died unnecessarily)? CLANG!

The NFL running an ad that proclaims "Football is Gay. Football is Lesbian. Football is Beautiful. Football is Queer. Football is Life. Football is Transgender. Football is Tough. Football is Bisexual. Football is Accepting. Football is Everything. Football is for Everyone." CLANG!

A U.S. Olympic athlete (in the highly-regarded sport of "hammer throwing") turns her well-toned ebony back on the American flag at an event because it doesn't speak for her? CLANG!

A Biden administration member attempts to blame the Florida condo collapse on "climate change?" CLANG!

In the face of a growing wave of violent crime, Democrats claim that it's Republicans who are defunding the police? CLANG!

And so on and so on and so on. Each incident sends my temper skyrocketing and leaves a fresh dent in an already well-worn bell. Which is why I decided to take an extended time-out. And so far, it feels pretty darn good.

Have I given up hope that things can get better? Absolutely not! But they're not going to get better in the immediate future, so I'd like to use that immediate future to enjoy myself as much as possible. And part of that enjoyment will be continuing to communicate with you here, about whatever goofiness is on my mind, or whatever amusement I can cook up for you. And I can't commit to any kind of schedule, but just know that I'm not disappearing. 

Nor can I completely ignore politics.  As a case in point, I just found out that our family dentist - who we've used for decades - is closing his practice. He loves what he does, but just can't take the bureaucratic BS anymore. The straw that finally broke the camel's back: in order to keep his practice open, he was being required to take classes teaching him how to recognize and fight sex trafficking. Presumably so he could call Kamala Harris (ha!) if a decaying van overpacked with weeping children comes screeching to a halt outside his door and a dust-covered Latinx Coyote rushes in to ask, "How motch to make the cheeldren's mouths preety?"

CLANG!

And One More Thing....


Have a glorious Independence Day weekend and celebrate what is still the greatest nation on Earth!

49 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

Sorry to hear the bureaucrats have chased your dentist off. My biggest fear is that my GP, my cardiologist, indeed the entire (mature, aging) medical team I rely on is just going to get fed up one day and do exactly the same thing! *Sigh*. Good luck iin finding a replacement.

Sergio said...

The only "Sport" that fits all those descriptions is kickball (a.k.a) soccer. NOT NFL football, looks like they've caved to those who would divide and conquer America. The demoncratic party motto ought to be E Unum Pluribus. Our currency says, "In God we Trust" and I trust God doesn't want a world without America suffering under the iron fist of communism. I think God is laying the groundwork for an era of conservative governance. Me must have faith!

Jess said...

Out here in the boonies, it's mom, the United States, and apple pie. Fireworks stands abound, children are patiently waiting for the moment they're turned loose with their bags of fireworks, and the American dream is not a nightmare.

Have a great Fourth, and remember to keep a water hose close for the errant bottle rockets that somehow manage to land on the roof.

Julian C said...

I will try again top leave a comment if the cursed "find Waldo and his Chums" captcha BS permits me to, just to say you are wise to get away from all the negativity of the political stench wallow of the "news", it can take a terrible toll on you and rob you of the few joys that life has to offer. So hug your wife, give your pup a kiss from me, sleep in, get outdoors as your health allows, read some books, watch comedies, just LIVE. We will be here any time you just want to bloviate in your always charming manner, about anything that suits you. We do NOT come here just for political shyte, we come here for YOU, our friend.
Wishing you and your family all the best.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Go with the sparklers, Lucy. Go with the sparklers.

Like Jess, things are apple pie, fireworks and Mom here in NW Arkansas.

A quick reminder for the loud explosion enthusiasts: Please keep the noise down outside of posted hours. Pets and vets may or may not react well to the thunder, particularly at random times in the small of the morning.

Have a happy and safe 4th, all!

And Stilton: CLANG!!! ;D

Dan said...

...how to recognize and fight sex trafficking.

Yup I'm sure Seenyor Cartelhombre will stop by any time now. (Couldn't make an n with a tilde.)

Kinda reminds me of the amber and silver alerts on the cable tv. They bzzzt into the program I'm watching, then tell me about something happening two or three hundred miles away. They describe the vehicle, too: A white car.

I live on a cul-de-sac far from the Interstate and several turns and streets away from a state highway. They ain't gonna show up here. Even if they did, my curtains are drawn and my blinds cover half the window. I can't see squat looking at the road.

And the interruption always comes at the announcement of the detective: "And the murderer is..." then the alert in English and Spanish. Humbug.

But I'm glad you're still plugging away.

And a happy Independence Day to you & yours.

Anonymous said...

I hope you have a Wonderful Independence Day!

I think we may need another one too soon.

jack

Anonymous said...

We plan to celebrate Independence Day with Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives; aka Party Central, even if the name has been appropriated by the Bureau of Evil.

Best wishes, Stilt, on your hiatus. Don't let the bastards get you down.

RayK

Al said...

Thank you and continue to keep those creative juice's going. Take it easy thou.. don't wont to have our heads exploding.

Fred Ciampi said...

Rest, rest, and more rest Stilt. You've earned it. And when I start having withdrawal symptoms I have all of the columns from the past that I can randomly access. Yay.

Jim Irre said...

Don't read the news. I go into orbit just looking at headlines! Wife says I should drink more beer. Well, alrighty then!

Anonymous said...

A little something light-hearted. Four weeks ago the wife and I brought home an 8 old puppy. Little feller was half the length of my forearm from nose to rump. Now he is as bit longer than my entire arm, has doubled in weight from 15 to 30 pounds. We get a kick out of watching his puppy hijinks, clumsy pratfalls and the fearless way he launches himself at the other dogs in play fighting. He only comes to their mid chest height but think he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Good thing he is smart and wants to please. His mama is merammano (60 - 100 pounds sheep guard dog), his daddy is Ovcharka (100 - 180 pound sheep guard dog). The farmer we got the puppy from (my wife named him Ruger) runs sheep on 600 acres and has not lost a single one to either wolves or coyotes since getting those two dogs. We don't run sheep, so Ruger's job will be to keep people on the right side of the fence. So far about 20 human and three dog visitors that he has tolerated well.
Out here in Wyoming, a neighbor decided to open up a fireworks stand inside his liquor store. Turns out the county and state fire marshals only have jurisdiction over fireworks stands within city limits. So he sent off copies of his retail license and has been selling fireworks for 5 years with nary a permit required. Gotta love it!

Fish Out of Water said...

Oh, I am not so "triggered". Yesterday, here were 2 SCOTUS decisions, on who makes the rules for elections and our freedom of association and free speech, which have 'rung' the wokefascist's bell hard.

And with the worst electoral mistake since the peanut farmer from Plains GA's choice for a wannabe SCOTUS Justice, ordering a moratorium on federal death row executions, a moment of thanks for Mitch McConnell for keeping this person from becoming a SCOTUS Justice.

The Overgrown Hobbit said...

Godspeed the dentist hunt. We're on our...Hmmm. third docor since the Obamacare came down and was hit with the CCPox.

PA Ray said...

Ditto here!

Alan said...

My doctor actually told me I'd live a lot longer if I'd quit watching the news.

Snark said...

Stilt- DON'T watch TV news! I realize that it is a habit ingrained from much earlier (and saner) years....but stop! Tucker Carlson is allowed, after all he not only presents the facts but pokes holes in the leftist's bubbles. Our orhopod quit due to Obamacare, perhaps they think they can control our health care by running off all the doctors. I have an old friend who inundates me with links to right wing conspiracy panic sites; I ignore them. All of this umbrage and panic from BOTH sides does nothing beneficial, it adds nothing of value to our lives, and just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. So ignore it and use a tasty, alcoholic mouthwash.

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Jerryskids said...

Taking a break from the news is the best thing for your mental health. Take a break for a few weeks and come back to it and look to see how many outrageous scandals you've missed during that time. I can guarantee you there's going to be several nine day wonders, the most outrageous outrage ever!, in there that have already come and gone and you never knew a thing about it. Because the news on both sides thrives on outrage. They want you to react exactly how you're reacting, stop giving it to them. Almost none of this crap matters.

But do have a glorious Fourth and spend a few minutes thinking about the things that really do matter and being grateful for them.

Unknown said...

Thank you for whenever you can post!!!! I feel your pain...every single day....every single absurd news bite...asking myself, "How can this be in the most glorious country in history?" I repeat again; I think your blog is brilliant.

KELLY FROM WISCO said...

Hope you have a great Independence Day! Enjoy every post you do!

TrickyRicky said...

Good for you Stilton. We all need to do whatever is necessary to keep our sanity intact and our blood pressure under 200/100 in these very scary times. Take as long as you need to refresh and actually ENJOY life. The commies will still be commies when you re-enter the fray. Your loyal readers will still be here too.

Shelly said...

@Stilton, reading your comment reminded me of a tweet talking about how some ignorant outfit, don't remember which but it was probably a university, declaring certain words will now be banned because they're racist and triggering. A word like picnic!! The commenter said "Please make it stop!" That's how I feel. It's like living in an upside-down bizarro world. I remember when PC first started and it was declared that certain words like the "N" word were hurtful and should not be used. Who could disagree with that? Of course, that started the Marxists down their never-ending slippery slope to stifle free speech declaring that picnic is racist and will forever be banned! I pray there will be a tipping point soon. There has to be! In the meantime, like you, when it gets to be too much, I just put in my Air Pods, turn on some fantastic Elton John music and putter around in my beautiful garden of flowers.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

I'm a retired dentist (35 years in practice) and would have told the fools to "stuff it" had they made recognition of "sex trafficking" part of license renewal. We were required only to show proof of post-grad classes and send in......MONEY. I retired in 2004 after being made a Life Member of the ADA, for which I received a plaque that is stored in a box somewhere in the barn (I expected a new Porsche, but aiming high is sometimes futile).

I haven't been in touch with my dental buddies since I left Taxifornia and moved to Arizona in 2019, but your article has piqued my interest in finding out just what other nonsense the fools in Washington have cooked up since I left.

John the Econ said...

Fresh content! Sweet, fresh content!

Kamala: I think the Democrats are starting to realize that their President-in-waiting is little less a mess than their placeholder President is.

Science!: So what's worse? Believing in a medical treatment just because Trump says it works, or denying a potential treatment to millions of dying and suffering people just because Trump says it works?

NFL (Not For Long): Just another example of how Progressivism destroys everything. Besides, Progressives think You should be watching soccer instead anyway, a sport that doesn't have to proclaim that it's gay.

Flag Turning: Brilliant move, actually. Nobody knew who this third-place runner was before this little stunt which denied accolades to the two women who actually placed ahead of her. There are plenty of other countries this woman could run for, but I doubt she could make a fraction of the cash with this sort of antic than she can in the good ole USA.

Climate Change! Of course "climate change" is the universal excuse for everything bad that happens, including building collapses. Followed by "white supremacy", "systemic racism", "income inequality", and "transphobia".

Defunding the Police: This one took some chutzpah, even by Progressive standards. Yeah, and Republicans were cheering on Antifa & BLM rioting and bailing them out.

My advice to you, @Stilton: Enjoy your life. Accept the madness that is Progressivism for the mental illness it is, but don't let it make you ill. That's what they want. That's how they win. Nothing pisses off Progressives more than seeing people enjoy their lives despite the best Progressive efforts to deny happiness.

Enjoy your 4th, everyone.

CenTexTim said...

Speaking of Independence Day:

Q: How come there's no Knock Knock joke about America?
A: Because freedom rings!

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your server, and try the veal.

Illegitimi non carborundum

Rod said...

Hey, but we can learn science on the news. For instance: For some yet to be discovered reason (more study is needed) Hot weather or Thunderstorms on either coast are huge, tragic, fatal disasters... while in fly-over country the same is just weather. The variable seems to be local populations.

And as for many these current administration goof-ups & A-holes: Didn't most of them at one time or another Bad-mouth or Piss off the Clintons? Hil! Wake up; get back to work.

rickn8or said...

"Go with the sparklers, Lucy. Go with the sparklers."

Sparklers, AKA "Angry Incense"

Anonymous said...

As a card carrying old guy. I feel your frustration Stilt. I do cherish your wit and satire which keeps me sort of smiling until *my* bell gets rung LOL.

My father-in-law was a general practitioner MD and he got really fed up with the bureaucracy interfering with his practice of medicine - and this was over 25 years ago so he hung it up as well. He always did what he thought best for his patients - period and damn the torpedoes.

Happy Independence Day to all of my patriot friends!

Sortahwitte said...

Stilton, my friend, swing away. Clang.

To those who find our flag disgusting: run, walk, or slide on your ass until you find one you do like. Never look back or come back. I never knew you.

July 4th, 1966 was my first date with my lovely and long suffering wife Sioux. Married 53 years. I married waaaaay up.

Anonymous said...

It publishes daily. DAILY. It does this whenever it is told. Or else America gets the hose again and Kwame Harris becomes president.

Bruce "Bubba" Nelson said...

Strength tester... Should one "ring the bell" at the top, one wins a cigar. Often however, one hears "close, but no cigar."

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Bubba: Unless you're Bill Clinton. Then it's "Close, but the cigar goes where it gets all gooey."

Lee The Voice said...

Glad you're back, Stilt. I've missed you. Hope your time off was good for you.

Anonymous said...

To show how crazy this world has become, I'll relate this story. A couple I worked with and have kept in contact with for over 45 years is now going to be a distant memory. She would make negative remarks about Trump but can't take a single one about the demoncrats. Thin skin problem? In fact after I sent my latest anti Biden cartoon she said she was going to call me, but not after that. When she called about a week later I simply declined the call and will never speak with this couple again. She did say in an email that Biden has done more good in 6 months than orangeman could ever dream of doing. Can you imagine that? I wonder what world she lives in. CLANG!! BTW, they live in.....where else, California.
Take it easy Stilt, we'll all be here for you when you know it's time.

ringgo1 said...

@M. Mitchell Marmel: Are you anywhere near Eureka Springs?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

@Ringgo: About 20 miles south in Springdale. :)

Jim G. said...

Stilt,

Trust in God.

He will set you free from all of your troubles. As Jesus said, "I am not of this world."

All of us Christians are responsible to bring as many people as possible to heaven with us.

Certainly Joe Biden and Kamala have their own paths to Hell. So their
situation does not matter.

Rod said...

Biden's actions & inactions regarding the border invasion are now VERY CLEARLY violations of both the Constitution and his Oath of Office. CLANG. But I'm 'just sayin" it, because we have a bunch of leaders who aren't going to do their jobs either. Kind of wondering how long this can go on; but also I need personal get-away therapy as well.

tired farmer said...

Thankful for the post. I've found that my tinnitus drowns out the clanging! Happy 4th!

Mad Capn Bob said...

NFL? Sorry, make mine rugby…

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- It genuinely does my heart good to read all the encouraging comments here. Sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat!

It's been a very pleasant 4th of July here in north Texas. We grilled burgers and paired them with baked beans and potato chips because, dang it, that's what Americans do. We also watched the Gary Cooper movie "Sergeant York," which felt appropriately patriotic for the day.

Flags a'plenty are flying in front of stately Jarlsberg manor, and we live in a neighborhood where American flags are on more houses than not. At our local park, about a 3-minute walk from home, a small brass band played John Philip Sousa marches for gathered celebrants. And legal or not, it's likely we'll hear some fireworks going off tonight (though I won't be lighting any).

All in all, quite a nice birthday for America.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

Had a nice quiet 4th. Usual neighborhood artillery; I chucked a strip of firecrackers out front and called it good... :)

Hope y'all's 4th was pleasant as well!

John the Econ said...

Mrs. Econ & I spent the weekend at the wilderness outpost. On the lake, not only are American flags prominent, Trump flags are still flown on shore and boats. The "professional" fireworks display start at 10:15, and everything else until well after midnight. Busty Ross would not be out of place here. God Bless America!

I weep for those imprisoned in the territories of the Karens, where the 4th of July is just another opportunity to lecture about how awful a place America is.

Drew458 said...

John the Econ - the joke goes

A liberal is up at the lake, and comments that so many of the boats are flying the flag and have Trump stickers. "How come so many boaters seem to be Republicans?"

A boater responds "That's because there's no government program to give you a boat. You have to earn the money and go buy one."

Dan said...

I kinda feel there should be a lid placed on negative waves about America on/about Independence Day. Similarly for Memorial Day and Veteran's Day.
Give the negatories no air. Do not spread their stories on OUR days.
And I'm not just talking about NYT, WP, NPR, CNN, NBC, but even Fox.

Oh -- when the National Anthem plays, if you can STAND UP; hand over your heart or hand salute.

Skip said...

Aside from Comic Life, do you also use Photoshop and other graphics software? Take care.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Skip- I use a variety of programs, although always assemble everything in Comic Life. I use Photoshop Elements for Photoshoppy things (note: there's now a free online clone of Photoshop at this address) and an app called "Super Vectorizer" to smooth out line art from clipart services. I'm always experimenting with new apps, too, but those are my real workhorses!

Anonymous said...

More Busty, less Stilton.

Cisco Kid said...

I was diagnosed with COVID Easter weekend. I has a low grade fever as well as lost ALL sense of taste and smell (which was really weird!) My primary care doctor of 14 years, when he heard of my diagnosis (through his son who had been doing yard work for me) immediately told me to get on Ivermectin. As it was Sunday, the only pharmacy open in our small town was Walmart.

The on-line pharmacy (TEXT2MD) told me to confirm with Walmart that they would dispense Ivermectin, as some pharmacies will not. Walmart pharmacy said they would fill it, but they only had half of my prescription on hand, so they would do a partial fill, and then order in the rest and have it ready for me when I needed it. Wrong. When my friend delivered the first half of the Walmart prescription, she told me, "I have some bad news. The Walmart pharmacist told me that they are no longer PERMITTED to order Ivermectin. It is available for re-order, but they are not ALLOWED to re-order it." Fortunately, I was able to get it from my small town pharmacist. The Ivermectin cleared up my COVID in TWO DAYS, and I got back my sense of smell and taste! YAY!

I play a game on my cell phone called WORDSCAPES (our team is "America First," formerly "TRUMP 2020." Through the group chat, my teammates knew I had COVID and offered condolences and prayers. When I tried to tell them about Ivermectin, the group chat was CANCELLED. I could NOT even type in the word "Ivermectin." I would get a message "This text is not allowed." The same for Facebook and Instagram. HOW DO WE GET THE WORD OUT THAT IVERMECTIN IS AN EFFECTIVE AND SAFE DRUG TO PREVENT AND CURE COVID!??? For the FACTS, go to www.FLCCC.net (this URL is also banned on WORDSCAPES and all social media.) There you can read all the research on Ivermectin and its 40 years of safe use in humans and animals.

And remember my primary care doc of 14 years? He learned about my COVID through his son because he was fired by HealthPartners two week prior to my COVID diagnosis. Why, you ask? Because he was dispensing Ivermectin to COVID patients as well as to people prophylactically who did not want to get the vaccine. This did not bode well with the treatment philosophies of Health Partners. After all, if there is a real CURE for COVID, Uncle Joe would not be able to pass trillions of dollars for COVID relief.... Just sayin'